You Are the Bridge to the Next Generation | Ndinini Kimesera Sikar | TED

翻译人员: Ella Fan 校对人员: Yanyan Hong

We are standing on a bridge between one way of family life

我们都站在一座桥梁上， 一座连接着传统家庭生活

and something much different.

与其他不同生活方式的桥梁。

To something that relies not only on human care,

这不仅依赖于人文关怀，

but also technology

还依赖那些技术

to manage the many responsibilities of raising a family.

来肩负起抚养一个家庭的责任。

My plea to all of you

我向大家呼吁

is to be careful and move with intention.

我们要小心谨慎地行动。

Leaving traditions behind for the new ways

将传统方法抛在脑后，转而采用新方法

can be very risky.

可能非常有挑战性。

And let me explain.

我来解释一下。

See, I was raised in a Maasai village in Tanzania,

看，我在坦桑尼亚的 一个马赛族村庄长大，

in a family of 38.

我的家里有 38 口人。

One father, five mothers and 32 siblings.

一位父亲，五位母亲和 32 位兄弟姐妹。

And I can literally name them all.

而且我可以说出他们所有人的名字。

There’s Namelok, Mallya, Samu, Nainoto ...

有 Namelok、 Mallya、 Samu、Nainoto……

I'm just kidding, I won't do that.

开玩笑，我不会在这念完的。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

As a kid, my first job of the day was to milk our cows and goats.

小时候，我每天第一件事 是给我们的牛和山羊挤奶。

It took about two hours, but we girls did it together.

花了大约两个小时，但女孩们会一起完成。

It also hurt my fingers,

这件事让我手指受了伤，

but I loved it because we sang to the cows

我却乐在其中，因为我们可以给奶牛唱歌

to help them relax and give more milk.

帮助它们放松身心，就能多产点牛奶。

After the milking, we went for firewood.

挤完奶后，我们去找柴火。

It took three hours.

花了三个小时。

We girls did it together.

也是我们女孩们一起做的。

Singing on the way to the bushes,

我们在去灌木丛的路上唱歌，

eating fruits and dancing on the pathways.

吃水果，在小路上跳舞。

Next, we went for water.

接下来，我们再去找水。

Another three hours.

这又要花费三个小时。

The water hole was maybe 10 kilometers away.

水源或许远在 10 公里之外。

But we girls did it together.

但我们几个女孩们会一同前往。

Led by our mothers who taught us how to avoid elephants and buffaloes

我们的母亲带领我们， 她们教我们如何避开大象、水牛

and monkeys

和猴子，

who are all going to the same place for the same reason.

它们也为了找水和我们去同一个地方。

By noon, it was time to sit under the trees

到了中午，是时候坐在树下

and learn how to do our beading.

学习如何编珠了。

Late in the afternoon,

下午晚些时候，

we will see the dust kicked up by our cows coming home

我们会看到奶牛回家时， 走在路上扬起的尘土，

and the bells around their necks ringing out.

它们脖子上的铃铛在风中歌唱。

My brothers and other warriors will be here soon,

我的兄弟和其他战士很快就会来这里，

and that meant dinner for the whole family.

全家会共进晚餐。

While eating, we hear stories from our elders and we sing.

吃饭时，我们会听长辈讲故事， 然后我们再一起唱歌。

We sing a lot.

我们经常唱歌。

I never wanted the day to end, but when it does,

我从来不想让这一天结束， 但是当晚上时，

we sleep [in] huts on wooden platforms covered with leather.

我们会睡在屋内铺有皮革的木制平台上。

There was no such a thing as a pillow.

没有枕头之类的东西。

There was fire next to our beds to keep us warm.

为了保暖，我们的床旁边有火。

And we had each other,

还有彼此，

six, seven, eight of us, all snuggled like puppies.

六、七、八个人， 都像小狗一样依偎在一起。

It was good.

多么美好。

Around seven years old,

当大约七岁，

I was chosen randomly by the government to go for a primary school.

我被政府随机选中去读小学。

I would not have gone on my own.

原本不是我一个人去的。

In fact, the villagers try to hide kids from outsiders.

实际上，村民们试图向外人隐瞒孩子。

They know that kids who go to school start speaking a different language,

他们知道上学的孩子 会开始学习不同的语言，

literally and figuratively.

即使字面的，也是比喻上的“语言”，

And parents are not even told where the kids are being taken.

而且父母甚至不知道 孩子被带去了哪里。

But I was picked.

但我被选中了。

And then, seven years later,

然后，七年后，

I was selected to attend a secondary school in the city,

我被选中到城里读中学，

and my parents cried all night.

而且我父母整晚都在哭。

My mother said,

我妈妈说：

"I will not survive without you."

“没有你我活不下去。”

And I thought maybe I better remain behind to save my mother.

我想也许我最好留在家里陪我的母亲。

See, my father eventually gave me his blessing,

我父亲终于祝福了我，

so I will not have to leave the village with a curse on me.

这样我就不必带着诅咒离开村庄了。

Many people have opinions about the Maasai way of life.

许多人对马赛人的生活方式有一些看法，

It is not all good.

并非全是好的方面。

There is genital cutting.

有割礼，

There is forced marriages.

强迫婚姻，

And girls are not eligible for inheritance.

还有女孩没有继承权这种习俗。

But I was cared for

但我得到了照顾，

and I was needed and I belonged.

我被需要，有归属感，

There was always a place for me.

我总能找到一席之地。

And just between us,

告诉你个秘密，

I always felt like everyone's favorite.

我一直觉得自己是每个人的最爱。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Especially my father's.

尤其是我父亲的。

When I was 15,

当我 15 岁的时候，

my family arranged for me to marry a Maasai man with many cows.

我的家人安排我 嫁给一个有很多奶牛的马赛人。

Lots of cows.

很多很多奶牛。

I said no.

我拒绝了。

They found another man, and I said no again.

他们找到了另一个人，但我又拒绝了。

They found another husband for me.

他们为我找到了另一个丈夫。

I said no for the third time.

这是我第三次说不。

And each time there were meetings,

每次会面，

tears and shame.

我都流下眼泪，留下愧疚。

There were other emotions, too.

以及一些其他情绪。

Some offered quiet encouragement.

有些人默默地给予了鼓励。

Eventually, I left the village for the city

最终，我离开村庄去了城市，

and now I live with my chosen husband,

最后我和我选择的丈夫、

three children,

三个孩子、

a house, a car,

一个房子、一辆车

a laptop,

一个笔记本电脑、

shoes and even trousers with zippers.

鞋子，甚至还有带拉链的裤子住在一起。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

You see, modern families seem to value personal autonomy,

你看，现代家庭似乎重视

while traditional families,

个人自主权，

they put more emphasis on resource sharing

而传统家庭则更重视资源共享

and collective decision making.

和集体决策。

So how can we blend these two worlds?

那么我们怎样才能融合这两个世界呢？

This is our challenge.

这是我们的挑战。

Mine and yours, too.

你我共同面对。

See, 25 years ago, I started an organization,

25 年前，我成立了一个组织，

the Maasai Women Development Organization,

马赛妇女发展协会，

to give women access to education and healthcare.

为女性提供教育和医疗保健的机会。

Here's one way we bring the old into the new.

这是我们将旧融入新的一种方法。

The first time I gave birth,

我第一次分娩时，

I was with my mother, other mothers,

我和生母，其他养母、

sisters, cousins and midwives.

姐妹、堂兄弟，和助产士在一起。

About 15 people.

大约 15 个人。

So much knowledge in the room.

房间里大家各持己见，

Though my husband had to wait outside.

以至于我丈夫不得不在外面等着。

In the city, for the second child,

在城市里，我迎来了第二个孩子，

the hospital said two people only,

医院只允许有两个人陪同。

and their policies were very strict,

他们的政策非常严格，

and they ignored traditional knowledge.

而且他们忽略了传统知识。

At MWEDO,

在马赛妇女发展协会（MWEDO），

we do a little bit of of both.

我们两者兼而有之。

So we have clean, prepared birth centers,

因此，我们有干净、准备好的分娩中心、

schools that consider our culture

顾及我们文化的学校，

and trained midwives,

训练有素的助产士，

and we also include our husbands.

而且我们还包括我们的丈夫。

So the question for everyone here is:

因此，在这里我想提出的问题是：

How can we integrate the best part of our childhood

随着世界的变化，我们如何才能

into the world as it changes?

将童年最美好的时光融入世界？

You see, I don’t walk 10 kilometers a day anymore.

你看，我不用再每天走 10 公里了。

And I’m not on the land with the animals from 5am to sundown anymore.

我不能在动物的陪伴下 度过从清晨五点到日落的时光，

I'm not hugged and held by dozens of people a day anymore.

我不再享有每天被几十个人拥抱的日子。

In my modern family, we decided

在我的现代家庭中，我们决定

there will be more education,

接受更多的教育，

there will be no genital cutting,

不再去做割礼，

more playing,

花更多时间玩耍，

no forced marriages.

不强迫婚姻。

But there will be more contributing, more storytelling,

但是会有更多的贡献，更多的讲故事时光，

and there will be more listening.

更多的倾听。

And all that can be done in a multigenerational setting

所有这一切都可以靠薪火相传去实现，

while keeping the elders in the position of prominence.

同时让长者们仍然享受到尊重。

There are costs to moving on, for sure, but I am the bridge.

当然，继续前进是有代价的， 但我会做那个桥梁。

You, too, are a bridge.

你也是一座桥梁。

And whether you know it or not,

不管你知道与否，

what you did as a child

你小时候的所作所为

is going to sound as foreign to the next generation

对下一代来说，听起来就像

as the girls singing to cows sounded to you today.

你听我讲“女孩们唱歌给牛听”一样陌生。

Well, I guess my question is:

好吧，我想我的问题是：

Do you know what you want to preserve for the next generation?

你知道你想给下一代传递什么吗？

And do you know how you'll do it?

你知道你会怎么做吗？

You see, integration takes intention and strong leadership.

你看，整合需要 强烈意图和强有力的领导。

So let's pause

因此，让我们暂停一下，

and make our list of must haves in the new world.

列出新世界的必备物品。

Let's make sure, as a species,

让我们确保，作为一个物种，

we can still sing.

我们还能歌唱。

(Maasai women singing)

（马赛女性唱歌）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）