How autism freed me to be myself | Rosie King

譯者: Rocky LIANG 審譯者: Li Li

I haven't told many people this,

我還沒有告訴很多人一件事，

but in my head, I've got

在我的腦海中，

thousands of secret worlds all going on

會有成千上萬的秘密詞語，

all at the same time.

在同一時間湧出。

I am also autistic.

我是一名自閉症患者。

People tend to diagnose autism

人們一般在診斷自閉症時，

with really specific check-box descriptions,

都會有很詳細的描述。

but in reality, it's a whole variation as to what we're like.

但是現實是，每個自閉症患者 都會有完全不同的情況。

For instance, my little brother,

舉個例子，我的弟弟，

he's very severely autistic.

他是一名嚴重的自閉症患者。

He's nonverbal. He can't talk at all.

他不能使用語言，他不能說話。

But I love to talk.

但是我卻喜歡說話。

People often associate autism

人們經常把自閉症

with liking maths and science and nothing else,

和只喜歡數學、科學聯想在一起。

but I know so many autistic people

但是我知道很多自閉症患者，

who love being creative.

他們都喜歡創新。

But that is a stereotype,

但那只是刻板印象，

and the stereotypes of things

而所謂的刻板印象

are often, if not always, wrong.

大多時候都是錯誤的。

For instance, a lot of people

舉個例子，很多人

think autism and think "Rain Man" immediately.

聽到自閉症時， 會立刻聯想到電影《雨人》。

That's the common belief,

大家都認為

that every single autistic person is Dustin Hoffman,

每一個自閉症患者都是 電影裡的「達斯汀·霍夫曼」，

and that's not true.

但這不是真的。

But that's not just with autistic people, either.

而且也不是只對自閉症患者，

I've seen it with LGBTQ people,

對 LGBTQ（男、女同性戀、雙性戀、 跨性別和對性別有疑問）也這樣，

with women, with POC people.

對女人、有色人種也有刻板印象。

People are so afraid of variety

人們很害怕不同類型的人，

that they try to fit everything into a tiny little box

所以只想把任何東西 放在一個「小盒子」裡，

with really specific labels.

再把這個小盒子上貼上特定的標籤。

This is something that actually

這其實是現實中

happened to me in real life:

發生在我身上的

I googled "autistic people are ..."

我谷歌了一下：「自閉症患者是...」

and it comes up with suggestions

然後出現了很多建議

as to what you're going to type.

猜測你接下來要打什麼字。

I googled "autistic people are ..."

我查了查，

and the top result was "demons."

第一條出現的是「惡魔」，

That is the first thing that people think

那是人們每當想起自閉症患者，

when they think autism.

第一個想到的事。

They know.

他們知道。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

One of the things I can do because I'm autistic —

身為自閉者，我可以做的其中一件事，

it's an ability rather than a disability —

因為自閉是能力而非殘疾，

is I've got a very, very vivid imagination.

我有很生動的想像力，

Let me explain it to you a bit.

讓我來解釋一下。

It's like I'm walking in two worlds most of the time.

就像我經常走在兩個世界

There's the real world, the world that we all share,

一個是真正的世界，我們共享的世界。

and there's the world in my mind,

還有一個就是我腦海中的世界，

and the world in my mind is often so much more real

而我腦海中的世界比真正的世界

than the real world.

要更加現實。

Like, it's very easy for me to let my mind loose

就像，我很容易就能放鬆我的大腦，

because I don't try and fit myself into a tiny little box.

因為我從來不把 我自己逼到那個小盒子裡。

That's one of the best things about being autistic.

那是身為自閉症患者最好的一件事。

You don't have the urge to do that.

你不需要敦促自己這麼做。

You find what you want to do,

你會找到你想做的，

you find a way to do it, and you get on with it.

然後找到一個方法去實現它。

If I was trying to fit myself into a box,

如果我把自己逼到那個「盒子」裡，

I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have achieved

我就不會在這裡，我也不會成就

half the things that I have now.

我現在擁有的一半。

There are problems, though.

但是還是有很多問題。

There are problems with being autistic,

身為自閉症患者所產生的問題。

and there are problems with having too much imagination.

有很多人的想像力過度豐富了。

School can be a problem in general,

學校雖然也是一個問題，

but having also to explain to a teacher

但是自閉症患者要每天

on a daily basis

跟老師解釋，

that their lesson is inexplicably dull

他們的課堂是莫名的無聊，

and you are secretly taking refuge

他們的注意力一般不在課堂

in a world inside your head in which you are not in that lesson,

而在自己的世界裡秘密避難，

that adds to your list of problems.

也成為了一個大問題。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Also, when my imagination takes hold,

還有，當我的想像力控制住了我，

my body takes on a life of its own.

我的身體就沒有主人了。

When something very exciting happens in my inner world,

當一些很激動人心的事情 發生我在的內部世界時，

I've just got to run.

我就開始跑，

I've got to rock backwards and forwards,

我就前後不停地晃，

or sometimes scream.

或者甚至尖叫，

This gives me so much energy,

這樣可以給我很大的力量。

and I've got to have an outlet for all that energy.

但我也需要一個地方去釋放那些能量。

But I've done that ever since I was a child,

我從小就這樣，

ever since I was a tiny little girl.

從我是個小女孩開始。

And my parents thought it was cute, so they didn't bring it up,

我的父母認為這樣很可愛， 所以他們什麼也沒說。

but when I got into school,

但是當我上學之後，

they didn't really agree that it was cute.

他們不認為這樣是可愛。

It can be that people don't want to be friends

他們不想和一個在代數課上

with the girl that starts screaming in an algebra lesson.

突然尖叫的女孩做朋友。

And this doesn't normally happen in this day and age,

但是現在都不經常發生了，

but it can be that people don't want to be friends with the autistic girl.

但是還會有人不想 和一個自閉症女孩做朋友，

It can be that people don't want to associate

不想和一個不能把自己裝進

with anyone who won't or can't fit themselves

那個貼著「正常」標籤小盒子裡的人

into a box that's labeled normal.

做朋友。

But that's fine with me,

但是對我來說都沒關係，

because it sorts the wheat from the chaff,

因為物以類聚嘛，

and I can find which people are genuine and true

所以我能找到那些對我真誠的人，

and I can pick these people as my friends.

然後和那些人交朋友。

But if you think about it, what is normal?

但是當你想一想，什麼是正常？

What does it mean?

正常的意思是什麼？

Imagine if that was the best compliment you ever received.

想像一下，如果你收到最好的表揚是：

"Wow, you are really normal."

「哇，你真的很正常。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But compliments are,

但是真正的表揚是

"you are extraordinary"

「你真的很非凡」，

or "you step outside the box."

或者「你突破了常規」，

It's "you're amazing."

「你真的很驚人」。

So if people want to be these things,

所以如果人們想成為這樣的人，

why are so many people striving to be normal?

為什麼他們還在努力成為正常的人？

Why are people pouring their brilliant individual light into a mold?

為什麼人們要把自己的 個人才華倒入一個模具中？

People are so afraid of variety that they try and force everyone,

人們很害怕各種不同的人， 所以他們嘗試逼迫一些

even people who don't want to or can't, to become normal.

不能或不想成為正常人的人去變正常。

There are camps for LGBTQ people

有很多 LGBTQ 的人或者自閉症患者

or autistic people to try and make them this "normal,"

都嘗試把自己變正常。

and that's terrifying that people would do that in this day and age.

而這才是讓人害怕的。

All in all, I wouldn't trade my autism and my imagination for the world.

總之，我不會和任何人 交易我的想像力和自閉症。

Because I am autistic,

正是因為我的自閉症，

I've presented documentaries to the BBC,

我出現在英國廣播電視台的紀錄片裡，

I'm in the midst of writing a book,

我也正在寫一本書。

I'm doing this — this is fantastic —

我在做這些很奇妙的事情，

and one of the best things that I've achieved,

然而這中間最好的一件事，

that I consider to have achieved,

就是當我想到我成就了什麼，

is I've found ways of communicating

就是我找到了可以和我弟弟妹妹

with my little brother and sister,

溝通的方法。

who as I've said are nonverbal. They can't speak.

而就像我剛才說的， 他們沒有說話的能力。

And people would often write off someone who's nonverbal,

但是很多人都放棄了 那些沒有語言溝通能力的人。

but that's silly, because my little brother and sister

這樣很愚蠢， 因為我的弟弟和妹妹

are the best siblings that you could ever hope for.

是你能想到最棒的兄弟姊妹。

They're just the best, and I love them so much

他們是最棒的， 我也很愛他們，

and I care about them more than anything else.

我世界上最在乎的就是他們。

I'm going to leave you with one question:

我要給你們留下一個問題：

If we can't get inside the person's minds,

如果你無法了解到一個人在想什麼，

no matter if they're autistic or not,

無論是不是自閉症患者，

instead of punishing anything that strays from normal,

不要懲罰一切不正常的東西，

why not celebrate uniqueness

何不慶祝他們的獨一無二？

and cheer every time someone unleashes their imagination?

何不為他們每一次綻放想像力而歡呼？

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（歡呼）