The bridge between suicide and life | Kevin Briggs

譯者: Adrienne Lin 審譯者: Kuan-Yi Li

I recently retired

我最近剛退休，

from the California Highway Patrol

之前在加州高速公路巡警局

after 23 years of service.

服務了 23 年。

The majority of those 23 years

這 23 年間大部份時間

was spent patrolling the southern end

都在馬林郡南邊巡邏，

of Marin County,

which includes the Golden Gate Bridge.

而這包含了金門大橋。

The bridge is an iconic structure,

這座大橋是個地標，

known worldwide

聞名全球，

for its beautiful views of San Francisco,

因為看得到舊金山、太平洋的美景，

the Pacific Ocean, and its inspiring architecture.

以及具啟發性的建築結構。

Unfortunately, it is also a magnet for suicide,

不幸的是，它吸引許多自殺者的前來，

being one of the most utilized sites in the world.

是世界著名的自殺地點之一。

The Golden Gate Bridge opened in 1937.

金門大橋於 1937 年開放，

Joseph Strauss, chief engineer in charge of building the bridge,

負責建立這座橋的 首席工程師約瑟夫．史特勞斯

was quoted as saying,

當時還被引用說：

"The bridge is practically suicide-proof.

「這座橋完全是防自殺的。

Suicide from the bridge

從這座橋上自殺

is neither practical nor probable."

既不實際也不可行。」

But since its opening,

但自它開放以來，

over 1,600 people have leapt to their death

超過 1600 人從這裡一躍而下

from that bridge.

結束生命。

Some believe that traveling

有些人相信

行走於前後兩座塔中間

between the two towers

will lead you to another dimension --

可以帶領你到另一個次元，

this bridge has been romanticized as such —

這座橋如此被浪漫化——

that the fall from that

從那跳下

frees you from all your worries and grief,

可以消除你所有擔憂及哀傷，

and the waters below

而底下的水

will cleanse your soul.

可以洗滌你的靈魂。

But let me tell you what actually occurs

但，容我告訴各位

when the bridge is used

當這座橋被用來

as a means of suicide.

作為自殺工具的實際情況。

After a free fall of four to five seconds,

在 4~5 秒的自由落體後，

the body strikes the water

身體會撞擊水面，

at about 75 miles an hour.

此時的時速約 75 英哩。

That impact shatters bones,

這種衝擊會導致骨折，

some of which then puncture vital organs.

甚至造成內臟破裂。

Most die on impact.

多數人死於這種衝擊。

Those that don't

那些沒因此死亡的人

generally flail in the water helplessly,

通常會在水上無助掙扎，

and then drown.

終被淹死。

I don't think that those who contemplate

我不認為那些

思考過這種自殺方式的人

this method of suicide

realize how grisly a death that they will face.

知道他們將面對的有多嚇人。

This is the cord.

這是鋼纜。

Except for around the two towers,

除了兩塔周圍以外，

there is 32 inches of steel

還有 32 英吋的鋼梁

paralleling the bridge.

與橋平行。

This is where most folks stand

這裡是大部份人

before taking their lives.

結束生命前所站的地方。

I can tell you from experience

我可以根據經驗告訴各位

that once the person is on that cord,

一旦站上那鋼梁，

and at their darkest time,

在他們最黑暗的時刻，

it is very difficult to bring them back.

是很難把他們帶回來的。

I took this photo last year

這張照片是去年拍的，

as this young woman spoke to an officer

這位年輕女士正和一位警官講話，

contemplating her life.

思索她的人生。

I want to tell you very happily

我很高興地告訴各位，

that we were successful that day

我們那天成功

in getting her back over the rail.

讓她爬過欄杆。

When I first began working on the bridge,

我一開始負責處理大橋案件時

we had no formal training.

並沒受正式訓練。

You struggled to funnel your way through these calls.

每次接到通報都掙扎著該如何處理。

This was not only a disservice

這不只對這些尋求自殺的人是種傷害，

to those contemplating suicide,

but to the officers as well.

也對警官們是種危害。

We've come a long, long way since then.

但到目前，我們已經有很大的進步。

Now, veteran officers and psychologists

現在，退休警官以及心理學家

train new officers.

負責培訓新警官。

This is Jason Garber.

這位是傑森．嘉博。

I met Jason on July 22 of last year

我去年 7 月 22 日認識傑森，

when I get received a call

當時我接到一通電話

of a possible suicidal subject

告訴我有可能的自殺者

sitting on the cord near midspan.

站在橋中央的鋼梁上。

I responded, and when I arrived,

我回應了那通電話，當我抵達時

I observed Jason

我看到傑森

speaking to a Golden Gate Bridge officer.

正在跟金門大橋的警官談話。

Jason was just 32 years old

傑森當時才 32 歲，

and had flown out here from New Jersey.

從鈕澤西飛到這。

As a matter of fact,

事實上，

he had flown out here on two other occasions

他之前已從鈕澤西飛過來兩次

from New Jersey

to attempt suicide on this bridge.

試圖跳橋自殺。

After about an hour of speaking with Jason,

跟傑森談了約一小時後，

he asked us if we knew the story of Pandora's box.

他問我們是否知道潘朵拉的盒子這故事。

Recalling your Greek mythology,

幫大家溫習一下希臘神話，

Zeus created Pandora,

宙斯創造了潘朵拉，

and sent her down to Earth with a box,

讓她帶著一個盒子下凡，

and told her, "Never, ever open that box."

並告訴她：「千萬不能打開盒子。」

Well one day, curiosity got the better of Pandora,

有一天，潘朵拉因為好奇過頭

and she did open the box.

打開了盒子。

Out flew plagues, sorrows,

盒中飛出了瘟疫、憂傷，

and all sorts of evils against man.

以及各種針對人類的邪惡。

The only good thing in the box was hope.

盒中僅存的美好，是希望。

Jason then asked us,

傑森接著問我們：

"What happens when you open the box

「要是你打開盒子

and hope isn't there?"

而希望不存在怎麼辦？」

He paused a few moments,

他停了幾秒後，

leaned to his right,

往右傾，

and was gone.

跳了下去。

This kind, intelligent young man from New Jersey

這位來自鈕澤西的 和善、聰明年輕男子

had just committed suicide.

自殺了。

I spoke with Jason's parents that evening,

我當天晚上通知傑森的雙親，

and I suppose that, when I was speaking with them,

我想，我與他們談話時

that I didn't sound as if I was doing very well,

聽起來好像沒把此案處理得很好，

because that very next day,

因為隔天

their family rabbi called to check on me.

他們家裡的猶太拉比打電話給我。

Jason's parents had asked him to do so.

傑森的父母要求他這麼做。

The collateral damage of suicide

自殺的間接傷害

affects so many people.

會影響許多人。

I pose these questions to you:

我問各位幾個問題：

What would you do if your family member,

如果你的家庭成員、

friend or loved one was suicidal?

朋友、摯愛的人有自殺傾向， 你會怎麼做？

What would you say?

你會說些什麼？

Would you know what to say?

你會知道該說什麼嗎？

In my experience, it's not just the talking that you do,

根據我的經驗，其實不止要談話

but the listening.

還要傾聽。

Listen to understand.

傾聽並理解。

Don't argue, blame,

不要爭論、怪罪，

or tell the person you know how they feel,

或告訴對方你懂他們的感受，

because you probably don't.

因為你或許並不懂。

By just being there,

只要陪著他們，

you may just be the turning point that they need.

或許就能成為他們需要的轉折點。

If you think someone is suicidal,

如果你認為某人有自殺傾向，

don't be afraid to confront them and ask the question.

別害怕當面問他們這個問題。

One way of asking them the question is like this:

問問題的其中一個方式可以是：

"Others in similar circumstances

「其他與你有相同處境的人

have thought about ending their life;

想過了結他們的生命，

have you had these thoughts?"

你有這樣想過嗎？」

Confronting the person head-on

直接面對這個人

may just save their life and be the turning point for them.

或許能拯救他們 並成為其生命的轉折點。

Some other signs to look for:

可以從這些跡象中看出端倪：

hopelessness, believing that things are terrible

絕望：深信事情糟糕透頂

and never going to get better;

且永遠不會好轉；

helplessness, believing that there is nothing

無助：相信你對任何事

that you can do about it;

都無能為力；

recent social withdrawal;

突然從社會抽離

and a loss of interest in life.

以及對人生失去興趣。

I came up with this talk just a couple of days ago,

我幾天前想好演講內容，

and I received an email from a lady

當時收到一位女士寄給我的 email，

that I'd like to read you her letter.

我想唸給你們聽。

She lost her son on January 19 of this year,

她今年 1 月 19 日失去兒子，

and she wrote this me this email

她幾天前寫這封 email 給我，

just a couple of days ago,

and it's with her permission and blessing

我經過她同意，且獲得她的祝福，

that I read this to you.

將信唸給各位聽。

"Hi, Kevin. I imagine you're at the TED Conference.

「嗨，凱文。你應該在 TED 會場了吧。

That must be quite the experience to be there.

這一定是個很棒的經驗。

I'm thinking I should go walk the bridge this weekend.

我想我這週末要去金門大橋走走。

Just wanted to drop you a note.

只是想寫信告訴給你，

Hope you get the word out to many people

希望你能告訴更多人

and they go home talking about it

讓他們回家可以談論這件事，

to their friends who tell their friends, etc.

告訴他們的朋友， 他們再告訴更多人。

I'm still pretty numb,

我現在還是很麻木，

but noticing more moments of really realizing

但越來越常意識到

Mike isn't coming home.

麥克不會回家了。

Mike was driving from Petaluma to San Francisco

麥克從佩塔盧馬開車到舊金山

to watch the 49ers game with his father

跟父親一起看美式足球比賽，

on January 19.

就在 1 月 19 日這天。

He never made it there.

他從未抵達目的地。

I called Petaluma police

我當晚打給佩塔盧馬警察

and reported him missing that evening.

通報他失蹤。

The next morning,

隔天早上

two officers came to my home

兩名警察到我家

and reported that Mike's car was down at the bridge.

通知我麥克的車在大橋附近被發現。

A witness had observed him jumping off the bridge

有目擊者看到他跳下橋，

at 1:58 p.m. the previous day.

就在前一天的下午 1:58 分。

Thanks so much

非常感謝你

for standing up for those

挺身而出

who may be only temporarily too weak

為那些短暫軟弱，

to stand for themselves.

無法為自己發聲的人挺身而出。

Who hasn't been low before

哪一位有心理疾病的人 不曾經歷過低潮？

without suffering from a true mental illness?

It shouldn't be so easy to end it.

但不應該這麼輕易結束生命。

My prayers are with you for your fight.

我祈禱你一切順利。

The GGB, Golden Gate Bridge,

GGB，金門大橋

is supposed to be a passage across

應該是一條道路

our beautiful bay,

連結我們美麗的海灣

not a graveyard.

而非墳墓。

Good luck this week. Vicky."

祝你這週好運，維琪。」

I can't imagine the courage it takes for her

我無法想像她需要多少勇氣

to go down to that bridge and walk the path

到那座橋並行走

that her son took that day,

她兒子那天走的道路，

and also the courage just to carry on.

也無法想像她繼續下去的勇氣。

I'd like to introduce you to a man

我想跟各位介紹一位男子，

I refer to as hope and courage.

我稱他為希望與勇氣的象徵。

On March 11 of 2005,

2005 年 3 月 11 日，

I responded to a radio call of a possible

我接到通報，

suicidal subject on the bridge sidewalk

有位疑似要自殺的人在橋的人行道上，

near the north tower.

就在北塔附近。

I rode my motorcycle down the sidewalk

我騎摩托車到人行道旁，

and observed this man, Kevin Berthia,

並觀察這位男子凱文．博西亞

standing on the sidewalk.

站在人行道上。

When he saw me, he immediately traversed

他看到我時，立刻穿越人行道護欄，

that pedestrian rail,

and stood on that small pipe

並站在那延伸到高塔周圍的小管線上。

which goes around the tower.

For the next hour and a half,

接下來的一個半小時，

I listened as Kevin spoke about

我傾聽凱文講述

his depression and hopelessness.

他的絕望與無助。

Kevin decided on his own that day

凱文那天自己決定

to come back over that rail

爬過欄杆

and give life another chance.

並再給生命一次機會。

When Kevin came back over,

當凱文跨過來時，

I congratulated him.

我恭喜了他：

"This is a new beginning, a new life."

「這是一個新開始、新生命。」

But I asked him, "What was it

但我問他，「是什麼

that made you come back

讓你決定跨過來

and give hope and life another chance?"

並再給生命一次機會？」

And you know what he told me?

你們知道他說什麼嗎？

He said, "You listened.

他說：「因為你傾聽了。

You let me speak, and you just listened."

你讓我說話，並安靜傾聽。」

Shortly after this incident,

在那次事件過後不久，

I received a letter from Kevin's mother,

我收到凱文母親的信。

and I have that letter with me,

今天也把那封信帶來了，

and I'd like to read it to you.

想唸給各位聽。

"Dear Mr. Briggs,

「親愛的布里格斯先生，

Nothing will erase the events of March 11,

3 月 11 日的事件無法在記憶中抹滅，

but you are one of the reasons Kevin is still with us.

但你是凱文仍與我們同在的原因之一。

I truly believe Kevin was crying out for help.

我真的相信凱文當時 正哭求著有人協助。

He has been diagnosed with a mental illness

他已經被診斷出有心理疾病

for which he has been properly medicated.

也已接受適當治療。

I adopted Kevin when he was only six months old,

我在凱文還六個月大時領養了他，

completely unaware of any hereditary traits,

完全不知道他有什麼樣的遺傳。

but, thank God, now we know.

但，感謝上帝，我們現在知道了。

Kevin is straight, as he says.

如凱文所說，他已經沒事了。

We truly thank God for you.

我們真的感謝上帝有你。

Sincerely indebted to you,

對你著實感激不盡。

Narvella Berthia."

納維拉．博西亞。」

And on the bottom she writes,

最後她寫道：

"P.S. When I visited San Francisco General Hospital that evening,

「P.S. 我當天傍晚去舊金山綜合醫院時

you were listed as the patient.

看到你也是那裡的病人。

Boy, did I have to straighten that one out."

天哪，我用膝蓋想就知道為什麼。」

Today, Kevin is a loving father

現在凱文是個慈愛的父親，

and contributing member of society.

也對社會有所貢獻。

He speaks openly

他公開談論

about the events that day and his depression

那天發生的事情 以及他的憂鬱情況，

in the hopes that his story

希望他的故事

will inspire others.

能啓發他人。

Suicide is not just something I've encountered on the job.

自殺並非只是我工作上所會遇到的，

It's personal.

這還與我切身相關。

My grandfather committed suicide by poisoning.

我祖父服毒自殺，

That act, although ending his own pain,

此舉雖了結他的痛苦，

robbed me from ever getting to know him.

卻也奪走我認識他的機會。

This is what suicide does.

這就是自殺的影響。

For most suicidal folks,

大多數有自殺傾向的人，

or those contemplating suicide,

或是思考過自殺的人，

they wouldn't think of hurting another person.

並不會想傷害別人，

They just want their own pain to end.

他們只想結束自己的痛苦。

Typically, this is accomplished in just three ways:

通常有三種方式可以達成：

sleep, drugs or alcohol, or death.

睡覺、毒品或酒精、死亡。

In my career, I've responded to

我的事業生涯中回應過、

and been involved in hundreds

也處理過上百件

of mental illness and suicide calls

大橋上的心理疾病及自殺案件。

around the bridge.

Of those incidents I've been directly involved with,

在我直接接觸的案件中

I've only lost two,

只失去了兩個人。

but that's two too many.

但兩個就已太多了。

One was Jason.

其中一位是傑森，

The other was a man I spoke to

而另一位男士

for about an hour.

我跟他談了約一小時。

During that time, he shook my hand

那時候，他跟我握手了三次。

on three occasions.

On that final handshake,

最後一次握手時，

he looked at me, and he said,

他看著我，說了：

"Kevin, I'm sorry, but I have to go."

「凱文，對不起，我還是必須要走。」

And he leapt.

然後他一躍而下。

Horrible, absolutely horrible.

真的很可怕。

I do want to tell you, though,

但我想告訴各位，

the vast majority of folks

我們在那橋上接觸的大部份人

that we do get to contact on that bridge

do not commit suicide.

都沒有自殺。

Additionally, that very few

除此之外，

跳下橋卻生還的極少數人

who have jumped off the bridge and lived

and can talk about it,

可以談論他們的經驗，

that one to two percent,

約有 1%~2% 的人，

most of those folks have said

而他們中大部份的人都說

that the second that they let go of that rail,

他們放開欄杆的那一刻

they knew that they had made a mistake

就知道這是個錯誤的決定，

and they wanted to live.

他們想要活下去。

I tell people, the bridge not only connects

我常說，這座橋不只連結

Marin to San Francisco,

馬林到舊金山，

but people together also.

但也將人們連結在一起。

That connection, or bridge that we make,

那種連結，或是我們創造的橋樑

is something that each and every one of us

是我們每個人

should strive to do.

都需要努力追尋的。

Suicide is preventable.

自殺是可以避免的。

There is help. There is hope.

這世界存在幫助，和希望。

Thank you very much.

非常感謝各位。

(Applause)

（掌聲）