David Grady: How to save the world (or at least yourself) from bad meetings

Translator: Nelson Simfukwe Reviewer: Joachim Mangilima

Picture this:

Pata picha hii:

It's Monday morning,

Ni Jumatatu asubuhi,

you're at the office,

upo ofisini,

you're settling in for the day at work,

unakaa sawa kwa ajili ya kuanza siku ya kazi,

and this guy that you sort of recognize from down the hall,

na mtu uliyekutana nae wakati upo jengo la chini,

walks right into your cubicle

anaingia kwenye kijiofisi chako

and he steals your chair.

na kuiba kiti chako.

Doesn't say a word —

Hasemi neno lolote ---

just rolls away with it.

anaondoka nacho tu.

Doesn't give you any information about why he took your chair

Hakupi sababu yoyote ni kwa nini amechukua kiti chako

out of all the other chairs that are out there.

na kuacha viti vyote vilivyopo katika jengo hilo

Doesn't acknowledge the fact that you might need your chair

Hatambui kwamba utahitaji kiti chako

to get some work done today.

ili kukamilisha kazi siku ya leo.

You wouldn't stand for it. You'd make a stink.

Hutapigania

Utamfata yule mtu katika kijiofisi chake

You'd follow that guy back to his cubicle

and you'd say, "Why my chair?"

na kusema "Kwanini uchukue kiti changu?"

Ni jumanne asubuhi na upo ofisini,

Okay, so now it's Tuesday morning and you're at the office,

and a meeting invitation pops up in your calendar.

na mualiko wa kikao unajitokeza katika kalenda yako.

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

And it's from this woman who you kind of know from down the hall,

Na ni kutoka kwa mwanamama unayemfahamu kiasi kutoka jengo la chini,

and the subject line references some project that you heard a little bit about.

na kichwa cha habari kinaongelea miradi ambayo ulishawahi kuisikia kwa ufupi tu.

But there's no agenda.

Lakini hakuna ajenda.

There's no information about why you were invited to the meeting.

Hakuna taarifa ni kwanini umealikwa katika mkutano huo.

And yet you accept the meeting invitation, and you go.

Na bado unakubali kuhudhuria mkutano huo, na unaenda.

And when this highly unproductive session is over,

Na baada ya mkutano huu usio na maana kuisha,

you go back to your desk,

and you stand at your desk and you say,

unarudi katika kijiofisi chako,

na usimama na kusema,

"Boy, I wish I had those two hours back,

"Natamani ningerudishiwa masaa mawili niliyopoteza,

like I wish I had my chair back."

kama ninavyotamani kurudishiwa kiti changu"

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

Every day, we allow our coworkers,

Kila siku, tunawaruhusu wafanyakazi wenzetu,

ambao, ni watu wazuri sana,

who are otherwise very, very nice people,

to steal from us.

kutuibia.

And I'm talking about something far more valuable than office furniture.

Na ninaongelea vitu muhimu sana zaidi ya hata samani za ofisini.

I'm talking about time. Your time.

Naongelea kuhusu muda. Muda wako.

In fact, I believe that

Kiukweli, Naamini ya kwamba

we are in the middle of a global epidemic

tupo katikati ya janga la kiulimwengu

of a terrible new illness known as MAS:

la ugonjwa mpya ambao ni hatari sana unaofahamika kama MAS:

Mindless Accept Syndrome.

Mindless Accept Syndrome( Ugonjwa wa kukubali jambo bila kuhoji linahusu nini).

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

The primary symptom of Mindless Accept Syndrome

Dalili za msingi za MAS

is just accepting a meeting invitation the minute it pops up in your calendar.

ni kukubali mualiko wa kikao pale tu unaoonekana katika kalenda yako.

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

It's an involuntary reflex — ding, click, bing — it's in your calendar,

Ni jambo lisilo la hiari, baada ya hapo....

"Gotta go, I'm already late for a meeting." (Laughter)

"Inabidi niondoke, nachelewa kwenye kikao"(Vicheko)

Meetings are important, right?

Vikao ni muhimu, sawa?

And collaboration is key to the success of any enterprise.

Na umoja ni funguo ya mafanikio katika kampuni yoyote.

And a well-run meeting can yield really positive, actionable results.

Na kikao kinachoendeshwa vizuri kitaleta mafanikio chanya.

But between globalization

Lakini katika utandawazi

and pervasive information technology,

na upana wa teknolojia ya mawasiliano,

the way that we work

vile tunavyofanya kazi

has really changed dramatically over the last few years.

kumebadilika kwa kiasi kikubwa sana katika miaka michache iliyopita.

And we're miserable. (Laughter)

Na tumekuwa wa ovyo. (Vicheko)

And we're miserable not because the other guy can't run a good meeting,

Na tumekuwa wa ovyo si kwa sababu watu wengine hawawezi kuongoza kikao vizuri,

it's because of MAS, our Mindless Accept Syndrome,

ni kwa sababu ya MAS,

ambalo ni gonjwa tulilonalo.

which is a self-inflicted wound.

Actually, I have evidence to prove that MAS is a global epidemic.

Nina ushahidi kwa kuonesha MAS ni janga la ulimwengu.

Let me tell you why.

Ngoja nikwambie ni kwanini.

A couple of years ago, I put a video on Youtube, and in the video,

Miaka michache iliyopita, niliweka video Youtube, na video hiyo,

I acted out every terrible conference call you've ever been on.

Nilionyesha aina zote za mikutano ya ovyo uliyowahi hudhuria.

It goes on for about five minutes,

Ni ya muda wa dakika tano,

and it has all the things that we hate about really bad meetings.

na ina kila kitu tusichopenda kuhusu mikutano mibaya.

There's the moderator who has no idea how to run the meeting.

Kuna muongoza kikao asiye na wazo ni jinsi gani ya kuongoza kikao.

There are the participants who have no idea why they're there.

Kuna washiriki wasio wa wazo kwanini wapo katika mkutano huo.

The whole thing kind of collapses into this collaborative train wreck.

Kila kitu kinaenda ovyo.

And everybody leaves very angry.

Na kila mtu anaondoka na hasira.

It's kind of funny.

Inafurahisha.

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

Let's take a quick look.

Tuangalie kwa harakaharaka.

(Video) Our goal today is to come to an agreement on a very important proposal.

(Video) Lengo letu leo ni kukubaliana katika pendekezo muhimu sana.

As a group, we need to decide if —

Kama kundi, tunatakiwa kuamua kama---

bloop bloop —

mlio

Habari, nani kajiunga?

Hi, who just joined?

Habari, ni mimi Joe. Leo nafanya kazi kutoka nyumbani.

Hi, it's Joe. I'm working from home today.

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

Hi, Joe. Thanks for joining us today, great.

Karibu Joe, asante kwa kujiunga nasi leo, ni vizuri.

I was just saying, we have a lot of people on the call we'd like to get through,

Nilikuwa nasema, tuna watu wengi tunaohitaji kuwa nao hapa,

so let's skip the roll call

tuendelee

and I'm gonna dive right in.

na nitaanza kama ifuatavyo.

Our goal today is to come to an agreement on a very important proposal.

Lengo letu leo ni kukubaliana katika pendekezo muhimu sana.

As a group, we need to decide if —

Kama kundi, tunatakiwa kuamua kama---

bloop bloop —

mlio

(Vicheko)

(Laughter)

Hi, who just joined?

Habari, nani kajiunga nasi?

No? I thought I heard a beep. (Laughter)

Hapana? nilidhani nimesikia mlio. (Vicheko)

Sound familiar?

Si jambo geni?

Yeah, it sounds familiar to me, too.

si jambo geni kwangu pia.

A couple of weeks after I put that online,

Wiki zilizopita baada ya kuiweka katika mtandao,

500,000 people in dozens of countries,

watu 500,000 kutoka nchi mbalimbali,

I mean dozens of countries,

Namaanisha nchi nyingi mbalimbali

watched this video.

waliangalia video hii.

And three years later, it's still getting thousands of views every month.

Na miaka mitatu baadaye, bado inaendelea kuangalia karibuni mara elfu moja katika kila mwezi.

It's close to about a million right now.

Inakaribia kufika milioni sasa hivi.

And in fact, some of the biggest companies in the world,

Na kiukweli, baadhi ya makampuni makubwa duniani,

companies that you've heard of but I won't name,

ambayo huwa unayasikia ila sitayataja,

have asked for my permission to use this video in their new-hire training

wameomba ruhusa yangu ili kutumia video hii katika mafunzo ya kuajiri wafanyakazi wapya

to teach their new employees how not to run a meeting at their company.

kuwafundisha waajiriwa wapya jinsi ya kutofanya mikutano katika kampuni zao.

And if the numbers —

Na kama namba---

there are a million views and it's being used by all these companies —

watu wameangalia mara milioni na inatumika na makampuni yote haya

aren't enough proof that we have a global problem with meetings,

hicho sio kigezo tosha cha kuonyesha tuna tatizo la kiulimwengu katika kundesha mikutano,

there are the many, many thousands

kuna maoni mengi sana, maelfu

of comments posted online

yaliyotolewa katika mtandao.

after the video went up.

baada ya video kuonekana.

Thousands of people wrote things like,

Maelfu ya watu waliandika vitu kama,

"OMG, that was my day today!"

"Mungu wangu, hivyo ndivyo siku yangu ilivyokuwa leo"

"That was my day every day!"

"Hivyo ndivyo maisha yangu ya kazini yanavyokuwa kila siku"

"Haya ni maisha yangu"

"This is my life."

One guy wrote,

Bwana mmoja aliandika,

"It's funny because it's true.

"Inafurahisha kwa sababu ni kweli.

Eerily, sadly, depressingly true.

Ukweli wa kuhuzunisha na kuumiza.

It made me laugh until I cried.

Imenifanya nicheke mpaka nikaanza kulia.

And cried. And I cried some more."

Nikalia na kulia na kulia zaidi."

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

This poor guy said,

Bwana huyu alisema,

"My daily life until retirement or death, sigh."

"Maisha yangu mpaka siku nastaafu au umauti utaponikuta"

These are real quotes

Kuna misemo mingi

and it's real sad.

na inahuzunisha sana.

A common theme running through all of these comments online

Ujumbe mmoja ambao unapatikana katika maoni yote haya

is this fundamental belief that we are powerless

ni imani kwamba hatuna nguvu

to do anything other than go to meetings

ya kufanya kitu chochote kingine zaidi ya kwenda kwenye vikao

and suffer through these poorly run meetings

na kukumbana na haya mambo yanayotokea katika vikao vinavyoongozwa ovyo

and live to meet another day.

na kesho tena kukutana katika mikutano hiyohiyo.

But the truth is, we're not powerless at all.

Lakini ukweli ni huu, si kwamba hatuna nguvu kabisa.

In fact, the cure for MAS is right here in our hands.

Kiukweli, tiba ya MAS ipo katika mikono yetu.

It's right at our fingertips, literally.

Katika vidole vyetu, kiuhalisia.

It's something that I call ¡No MAS!

Ni kitu ninachoita No MAS

(Laughter)

(Vicheko)

Which, if I remember my high school Spanish,

Ambapo ninakumbuka kihispania changu wakati nipo sekondari,

ilimaanisha, "Imetosha, zuia kuendelea"

means something like, "Enough already, make it stop!"

Here's how No MAS works. It's very simple.

Na hivi ndivyo No MAS inavyofanya kazi. Ni rahisi sana.

First of all, the next time you get a meeting invitation

Kabla ya yote, mara nyingine utapoalikwa katika mkutano

that doesn't have a lot of information in it at all,

ambao hauna maelezo yoyote ya kutosha,

click the tentative button!

bonyezo kitufe cha kupata maelezo ya kikao hicho!

It's okay, you're allowed, that's why it's there.

Ni sawa, unaruhusiwa na ndo maana kimewekwa pale.

It's right next to the accept button.

Ni baada ya kitufe cha kukubali kujiunga na kikao.

Or the maybe button, or whatever button is there for you not to accept immediately.

Kipo pale kukufanya wewe usikubali moja kwa moja.

Then, get in touch with the person who asked you to the meeting.

Halafu, wasiliana na mtu aliyekualika katika kikao hicho.

Tell them you're very excited to support their work,

Waambie umefurahishwa sana kusaidia kazi yao

ask them what the goal of the meeting is,

waulize ni lipi lengo hasa la kikao

and tell them you're interested in learning how you can help them achieve their goal.

na uwaambie unahitaji kujifunza ni vipi unaweza kusaidia katika wao kufikia malengo yao.

And if we do this often enough,

Na kama tutafanya hivi mara kwa mara,

and we do it respectfully,

na kufanya kwa heshima,

people might start to be a little bit more thoughtful

watu wataanza kufikiria zaidi kidogo

about the way they put together meeting invitations.

ni jinsi gani ya kuandaa mikutano kwa ufanisi zaidi.

And you can make more thoughtful decisions about accepting it.

Na itakufanya kufikiria zaidi unapotaka kukubali.

People might actually start sending out agendas. Imagine!

Watu wataanza kutuma ajenda. Fikiria!

Or they might not have a conference call with 12 people to talk about a status

Au hawatokuwa na kikao kwa njia ya simu cha watu 12 wakiongelea kuhusu jambo

when they could just do a quick email and get it done with.

wakati wanaweza kutumiana barua pepe na kumaliza ajenda kirahisi.

People just might start to change their behavior because you changed yours.

Watu wataanza kubadili tabia zao kwa sababu umebadili ya kwako.

And they just might bring your chair back, too. (Laughter)

Na watarudisha kiti chako pia. (vicheko)

No MAS!

hakuna MAS!

Thank you.

Asante.

(Applause).

(Makofi).