David Grady: How to save the world (or at least yourself) from bad meetings

譯者: Andrew Kuo 審譯者: Yiding(Eden) Wen

Picture this:

想像一下

It's Monday morning,

星期一早上

you're at the office,

你走進辦公室

you're settling in for the day at work,

準備開始一天的工作，

and this guy that you sort of recognize from down the hall,

突然間有個同事，一個你好像認得， 可能在隔壁組工作的同事

walks right into your cubicle

走進你的辦公室

and he steals your chair.

把你的椅子拿走

Doesn't say a word —

甚麼都沒說

just rolls away with it.

拿了椅子，就走了，

Doesn't give you any information about why he took your chair

完全沒解釋為甚麼他把你的椅子拿走，

out of all the other chairs that are out there.

全公司那麼多椅子 卻偏要拿你的，

Doesn't acknowledge the fact that you might need your chair

也無視你很也許需要用這張椅子

to get some work done today.

來完成你今天需要的工作。

You wouldn't stand for it. You'd make a stink.

你絕對不會接受 所以你馬上行動，

You'd follow that guy back to his cubicle

你追著這個同事回到他的辦公桌，

and you'd say, "Why my chair?"

質問他: "為甚麼偏要拿我的椅子?"

Okay, so now it's Tuesday morning and you're at the office,

現在，時間快轉到星期二早上， 你人已經到了公司，

and a meeting invitation pops up in your calendar.

行事曆傳來一個會議的邀請。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And it's from this woman who you kind of know from down the hall,

是一個你可能認識的女同事寄來的，

and the subject line references some project that you heard a little bit about.

會議的標題隱約的 提到你稍微聽過的一個案子，

But there's no agenda.

但這個會議沒有議程，

There's no information about why you were invited to the meeting.

沒有任何有關於為什麼你會被邀請的資訊，

And yet you accept the meeting invitation, and you go.

但你還是接受邀請，並出席。

And when this highly unproductive session is over,

當這場沒有效率的會議結束之後

you go back to your desk,

你回你的座位

and you stand at your desk and you say,

並站在你座位旁

"Boy, I wish I had those two hours back,

說道 "我真希望我能要回那兩小時

like I wish I had my chair back."

就像我想要回我的椅子一樣"。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Every day, we allow our coworkers,

每天，我們同意讓我們的同事

who are otherwise very, very nice people,

去偷走我們的東西，

to steal from us.

儘管他們是非常好的人。

And I'm talking about something far more valuable than office furniture.

我在講的比辦公用品還寶貴，

I'm talking about time. Your time.

我們講的是你的時間

In fact, I believe that

事實上，我認為

we are in the middle of a global epidemic

我們正處於全球的疫情當中，

of a terrible new illness known as MAS:

一個疫情名為MAS：

Mindless Accept Syndrome.

盲目接受症候群。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

The primary symptom of Mindless Accept Syndrome

盲目接受症候群的主要症狀為

is just accepting a meeting invitation the minute it pops up in your calendar.

馬上無條件的接受任何的會議邀請。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

It's an involuntary reflex — ding, click, bing — it's in your calendar,

他是一個反射動作， 只要叮— 點擊，乒— 就出現在你的月曆上，

"Gotta go, I'm already late for a meeting." (Laughter)

"該走了，我的會議已經遲到了"。（笑聲）

Meetings are important, right?

會議非常重要，對吧？

And collaboration is key to the success of any enterprise.

合作通常是企業成功的關鍵。

And a well-run meeting can yield really positive, actionable results.

一個好的會議能夠帶來正面且效率的回應

But between globalization

但是全球化

and pervasive information technology,

以及大型資訊技術之間，

the way that we work

我們的工作方式

has really changed dramatically over the last few years.

在過去的幾年內產生巨大的變化，

And we're miserable. (Laughter)

然後我們變得很痛苦。 (笑聲)

And we're miserable not because the other guy can't run a good meeting,

我們很痛苦不是因為 別人不能開一個好會議，

it's because of MAS, our Mindless Accept Syndrome,

是因為MAS，我們的盲目接受症候群，

which is a self-inflicted wound.

這個病是我們自找的。

Actually, I have evidence to prove that MAS is a global epidemic.

事實上，我能夠證明 MAS是一個全球性的疫情，

Let me tell you why.

讓我解釋。

A couple of years ago, I put a video on Youtube, and in the video,

幾年前我在YouTube上傳了一部影片，

I acted out every terrible conference call you've ever been on.

我把會議上曾經歷最糟糕的情況都展現出來，

It goes on for about five minutes,

片長大約五分鐘

and it has all the things that we hate about really bad meetings.

包括了一切有關令我們厭煩的會議，

There's the moderator who has no idea how to run the meeting.

有主持者完全不知道怎麼運作會議，

There are the participants who have no idea why they're there.

參會者完全不知道為什麼參加會議，

The whole thing kind of collapses into this collaborative train wreck.

整件事演變成一連串的鬧劇，

And everybody leaves very angry.

最後大家都憤怒的離去。

It's kind of funny.

其實有點好笑。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Let's take a quick look.

讓我們簡單看一下

(Video) Our goal today is to come to an agreement on a very important proposal.

(影片) 我們今天的目標是為一個 非常重要的計畫達成一個共識，

As a group, we need to decide if —

作為一個團隊，我們需要決定如果——

bloop bloop —

嗶 嗶——

Hi, who just joined?

嗨，誰剛剛加入?

Hi, it's Joe. I'm working from home today.

嗨，我是喬，我今天在家辦公。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Hi, Joe. Thanks for joining us today, great.

嗨，喬，謝謝你的加入，很好。

I was just saying, we have a lot of people on the call we'd like to get through,

我剛剛提到說，我們這次會議有很多人參加，

so let's skip the roll call

所以我們直接跳過點名，

and I'm gonna dive right in.

我就直接開始了。

Our goal today is to come to an agreement on a very important proposal.

我們今天的目標是為一個 非常重要的計畫達成一個共識，

As a group, we need to decide if —

作為一個團隊，我們需要決定如果——

bloop bloop —

嗶 嗶——

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Hi, who just joined?

嗨，誰剛剛加入?

No? I thought I heard a beep. (Laughter)

沒人? 我以為我聽到嗶聲 (笑聲)

Sound familiar?

聽起來熟悉嗎?

Yeah, it sounds familiar to me, too.

對，這對我來說也很熟悉。

A couple of weeks after I put that online,

在我上傳影片的幾週後，

500,000 people in dozens of countries,

來自數十國家的50萬人

I mean dozens of countries,

我講的是數十個國家

watched this video.

觀看這部影片。

And three years later, it's still getting thousands of views every month.

之後的三年，每個月 仍然有幾千次的觀看次數，

It's close to about a million right now.

到現在大概有一百萬次了。

And in fact, some of the biggest companies in the world,

事實上，有些國際大公司，

companies that you've heard of but I won't name,

你肯定知道這些公司，但我不會公布名字，

have asked for my permission to use this video in their new-hire training

他們徵求我的允許 把影片使用在他們的員工培訓上面，

to teach their new employees how not to run a meeting at their company.

來教導新員工如何不在公司裡開這樣的會議，

And if the numbers —

如果

there are a million views and it's being used by all these companies —

幾百萬次的觀看紀錄和被大公司使用的事實

aren't enough proof that we have a global problem with meetings,

不足以證明會議已經是全球性議題，

there are the many, many thousands

在影片上傳之後

of comments posted online

有成千上萬的評論

after the video went up.

發布在網路上，

Thousands of people wrote things like,

數千人寫下這樣的話

"OMG, that was my day today!"

"我的天，這就是我的天"

"That was my day every day!"

"這是我的每一天"

"This is my life."

"這是我的生活"

One guy wrote,

有一個人寫道

"It's funny because it's true.

"這很有趣因為這是事實。

Eerily, sadly, depressingly true.

怪異，可悲，令人沮喪的事實，

It made me laugh until I cried.

它讓我笑到哭出來，

And cried. And I cried some more."

然後我一直哭，一直哭"。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

This poor guy said,

這個可憐人寫道

"My daily life until retirement or death, sigh."

"這是我直到退休或死亡的每一天，嘆氣"。

These are real quotes

這些都是真實的評論

and it's real sad.

而且真的令人沮喪。

A common theme running through all of these comments online

這些網路上的評論有一個共同點，

is this fundamental belief that we are powerless

那就是我們覺得無能為力

to do anything other than go to meetings

來避免參加這些會議，

and suffer through these poorly run meetings

並且忍受這些效率很差的會議，

and live to meet another day.

苟延殘喘的活過另一天。

But the truth is, we're not powerless at all.

但事實上，我們並不是無能為力，

In fact, the cure for MAS is right here in our hands.

實際上盲目接受症候群的解藥就在我們手裡，

It's right at our fingertips, literally.

真的就在我們的指尖，

It's something that I call ¡No MAS!

我稱之為 ¡No MAS!。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Which, if I remember my high school Spanish,

如果我還記得我高中的西班牙課，

means something like, "Enough already, make it stop!"

這句話的意思大概是 "已經夠了，停止吧"

Here's how No MAS works. It's very simple.

拒絕 MAS 的做法很簡單，

First of all, the next time you get a meeting invitation

首先，下次你接到會議邀請的時候，

that doesn't have a lot of information in it at all,

那種沒有任何相關資訊的會議邀請，

click the tentative button!

點擊 "不確定" 按鈕！

It's okay, you're allowed, that's why it's there.

你是可以這麼做的，所以才有這個按鈕，

It's right next to the accept button.

就在"接受"按鈕的旁邊，

Or the maybe button, or whatever button is there for you not to accept immediately.

或者是"或許"按鈕， 或什麼其他按鈕讓你不用立刻同意接受。

Then, get in touch with the person who asked you to the meeting.

然後，去聯絡那個找你參加會議的人

Tell them you're very excited to support their work,

告訴他你很高興能後支持他的工作。

ask them what the goal of the meeting is,

然後問他會議的目的，

and tell them you're interested in learning how you can help them achieve their goal.

告訴他們你願意去學習 如何幫助他們達成目標。

And if we do this often enough,

如果我們經常這樣做，

and we do it respectfully,

以尊重的態度這樣做，

people might start to be a little bit more thoughtful

人們在邀請別人參與會議的時候

about the way they put together meeting invitations.

會多用點腦筋，

And you can make more thoughtful decisions about accepting it.

而你也可以做出更周全的決定來接受它。

People might actually start sending out agendas. Imagine!

人們或許真的開始列出議程，想像一下！

Or they might not have a conference call with 12 people to talk about a status

或者他們不會開一個12人的 電話會議來討論現況，

when they could just do a quick email and get it done with.

當他們可以簡單的使用電子郵件搞定。

People just might start to change their behavior because you changed yours.

人們的行為會因為你的改變而改變，

And they just might bring your chair back, too. (Laughter)

而他們也許還會把你的椅子還給你。 (笑聲)

No MAS!

拒絕 MAS!

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause).

(鼓掌)