The voices in my head | Eleanor Longden

2,499,944 views ・ 2013-08-08

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Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

Prevodilac: Aleksandra Krstić Lektor: Mile Živković
00:12
The day I left home for the first time
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Dan kada sam prvi put napustila dom
00:14
to go to university was a bright day
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da bih otišla na fakultet, bio je lep dan
00:16
brimming with hope and optimism.
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prepun nade i optimizma.
00:19
I'd done well at school. Expectations for me were high,
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Bila sam dobra u školi. Od mene se mnogo očekivalo
00:22
and I gleefully entered the student life
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i radosno sam ušla u studentski život
00:24
of lectures, parties and traffic cone theft.
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predavanja, žurki i krađa saobraćajnih čunjeva.
00:28
Now appearances, of course, can be deceptive,
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Izgled, naravno, može da vara,
00:30
and to an extent, this feisty, energetic persona
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i u određenoj meri ova impulsivna, energična persona
00:34
of lecture-going and traffic cone stealing was a veneer,
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koja prisustvuje predavanjima i krade saobraćajne čunjeve bila je paravan,
00:37
albeit a very well-crafted and convincing one.
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iako jako dobro napravljen i ubedljiv.
00:40
Underneath, I was actually deeply unhappy, insecure
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Ispod površine, ja sam zapravo bila veoma nesrećna, nesigurna
00:43
and fundamentally frightened --
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i u osnovi uplašena -
00:45
frightened of other people, of the future, of failure
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uplašena od drugih ljudi, budućnosti, neuspeha
00:49
and of the emptiness that I felt was within me.
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i praznine koju sam osećala u sebi.
00:51
But I was skilled at hiding it, and from the outside
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Ali bila sam vešta u sakrivanju toga i spolja sam
00:54
appeared to be someone with everything to hope for
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izgledala kao neko ko se može nadati
00:56
and aspire to.
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i težiti svemu.
00:57
This fantasy of invulnerability was so complete
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Ova fantazija neranjivosti je bila toliko stvarna
01:01
that I even deceived myself,
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da sam čak obmanula sebe,
01:02
and as the first semester ended and the second began,
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i kako je prvi semestar prošao i drugi počeo,
01:05
there was no way that anyone could have predicted
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nije bilo šansi da iko predvidi
01:07
what was just about to happen.
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šta će se upravo desiti.
01:10
I was leaving a seminar when it started,
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Napuštala sam seminar kada je počelo,
01:13
humming to myself, fumbling with my bag
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mumlajući u sebi, čačkajući svoju torbu,
01:15
just as I'd done a hundred times before,
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kako sam radila i sto puta pre toga,
01:18
when suddenly I heard a voice calmly observe,
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kada sam iznenada čula glas kako mirno izgovara:
01:20
"She is leaving the room."
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"Ona napušta sobu."
01:23
I looked around, and there was no one there,
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Pogledala sam okolo i nisam nikoga videla,
01:24
but the clarity and decisiveness of the comment
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ali jasnoća i odlučnost komentara
01:27
was unmistakable.
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su bili očiti.
01:28
Shaken, I left my books on the stairs and hurried home,
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Uzdrmana, ostavila sam knjige na stepenicama i požurila kući
01:31
and there it was again.
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i glas se ponovo javio.
01:32
"She is opening the door."
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"Ona otvara vrata."
01:34
This was the beginning. The voice had arrived.
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Ovo je bio početak. Glas je došao.
01:38
And the voice persisted,
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I bio je uporan,
01:41
days and then weeks of it, on and on,
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danima, a zatim i nedeljama, dalje i dalje,
01:43
narrating everything I did in the third person.
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govoreći sve što sam radila u trećem licu.
01:45
"She is going to the library."
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"Ona ide u biblioteku."
01:47
"She is going to a lecture."
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"Ona ide na predavanje."
01:49
It was neutral, impassive and even, after a while,
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Bio je neutralan, neosetljiv, čak i posle nekog vremena,
01:52
strangely companionate and reassuring,
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čudno druželjubiv i uveravajuć,
01:54
although I did notice that its calm exterior sometimes slipped
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iako sam primetila da je njegova mirna spoljašnost ponekad prešla
01:58
and that it occasionally mirrored my own unexpressed emotion.
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i povremeno prikazivala odraz moje neiskazane emocije.
02:01
So, for example, if I was angry and had to hide it,
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Tako na primer, kada sam bila ljuta i morala to da sakrijem,
02:04
which I often did, being very adept at concealing how I really felt,
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što i jesam često, bila sam jako vešta u prikrivanju onog što sam zaista osećala,
02:07
then the voice would sound frustrated.
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i tada bi zvučao isfrustrirano.
02:09
Otherwise, it was neither sinister nor disturbing,
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Inače, nije bio ni zlokoban ni uznemiravajuć,
02:12
although even at that point it was clear
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iako je čak bilo jasno da
02:14
that it had something to communicate to me
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ima nešto da mi da do znanja
02:16
about my emotions, particularly emotions
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o mojim osećanjima, naročito osećanjima
02:19
which were remote and inaccessible.
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koja su bila udaljena i nedostižna.
02:22
Now it was then that I made a fatal mistake,
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Ali tada sam napravila jednu fatalnu grešku
02:25
in that I told a friend about the voice, and she was horrified.
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kada sam prijateljici rekla o glasu i ona je bila užasnuta.
02:28
A subtle conditioning process had begun,
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Počeo je suptilan proces uslovljavanja,
02:30
the implication that normal people don't hear voices
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implikacija da normalni ljudi ne čuju glasove,
02:34
and the fact that I did meant that something was very seriously wrong.
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a činjenica da ja čujem značila je da nešto ozbiljno nije u redu sa mnom.
02:37
Such fear and mistrust was infectious.
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Takav strah i nepoverenje su bili zarazni.
02:41
Suddenly the voice didn't seem quite so benign anymore,
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Odjednom glas nije delovao tako dobroćudno,
02:44
and when she insisted that I seek medical attention,
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a kada je drugarica insistirala da potražim medicinsku pomoć,
02:46
I duly complied, and which proved to be
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što sam ja u potpunosti poštovala, ispostavilo se da je to bilo
02:48
mistake number two.
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greška broj dva.
02:50
I spent some time telling the college G.P.
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Provela sam neko vreme razgovarajući sa fakultetskim psihologom
02:52
about what I perceived to be the real problem:
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o tome šta sam mislila da je glavni problem:
nervoza, nisko samopoštovanje, strah od budućnosti,
02:55
anxiety, low self-worth, fears about the future,
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02:57
and was met with bored indifference
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što je bilo suočeno sa ravnodušnošću
02:59
until I mentioned the voice,
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sve dok nisam spomenula glas,
03:01
upon which he dropped his pen, swung round
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na šta je on spustio olovku, zamahnuo okolo
03:03
and began to question me with a show of real interest.
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i počeo da me ispituje sa znacima pravog interesovanja.
03:06
And to be fair, I was desperate for interest and help,
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A da budemo iskreni, bila sam očajna za interesovanjem i za pomoći,
03:08
and I began to tell him about my strange commentator.
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i počela sam da mu govorim o mom čudnom komentatoru.
03:11
And I always wish, at this point, the voice had said,
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I oduvek sam želela da je u tom trenutku glas rekao:
"Ona kopa svoj grob."
03:14
"She is digging her own grave."
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03:15
I was referred to a psychiatrist, who likewise
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Preporučen mi je psihijatar, koji je na isti način
03:19
took a grim view of the voice's presence,
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strogo pogledao prisustvo glasa,
03:21
subsequently interpreting everything I said
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zatim tumačio sve što sam rekla
kroz objektiv skrivenog ludila.
03:24
through a lens of latent insanity.
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03:26
For example, I was part of a student TV station
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Na primer, bila sam deo studentske TV stanice
03:29
that broadcast news bulletins around the campus,
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koja je prenosila vesti kroz studentski grad
03:31
and during an appointment which was running very late,
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i za vreme sastanka koji je bio jako kasno
03:33
I said, "I'm sorry, doctor, I've got to go.
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rekla sam: "Izvinite, doktore, moram da idem.
03:35
I'm reading the news at six."
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Čitam vesti u šest."
03:36
Now it's down on my medical records that Eleanor
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Sada piše u mom medicinskom kartonu da Elenor
ima iluzije da je komentator televizijskih vesti.
03:39
has delusions that she's a television news broadcaster.
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03:42
It was at this point that events began
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U tom trenutku su događaji počeli
03:45
to rapidly overtake me.
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da me brzo obuzimaju.
03:47
A hospital admission followed, the first of many,
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Usledila je prijava u bolnicu, prva od mnogo njih,
03:50
a diagnosis of schizophrenia came next,
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dijagnoza šizofrenije je bila sledeća,
03:53
and then, worst of all, a toxic, tormenting sense
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a onda, najgore od svega, otrovan, mučni osećaj
03:56
of hopelessness, humiliation and despair
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beznadežnosti, ponižavanja i očajanja
04:00
about myself and my prospects.
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u vezi sa sobom i svojim mogućnostima.
04:02
But having been encouraged to see the voice
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Ali kako sam bila ohrabrena da vidim glas
04:05
not as an experience but as a symptom,
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ne kao iskustvo već kao simptom,
04:07
my fear and resistance towards it intensified.
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moj strah i odbojnost su se prema njemu pooštrili.
04:10
Now essentially, this represented taking
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U suštini, ovo predstavlja preuzimanje
04:12
an aggressive stance towards my own mind,
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agresivnog stava prema sopstvenom umu,
04:14
a kind of psychic civil war,
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jednu vrstu psihičkog građanskog rata,
04:17
and in turn this caused the number of voices to increase
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a zauzvrat je izazvalo povećanje broja glasova
04:20
and grow progressively hostile and menacing.
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koji su postepeno postajali sve više neprijateljski i preteći.
04:23
Helplessly and hopelessly, I began to retreat
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Bespomoćno i beznadežno, počela sam da se povlačim
04:27
into this nightmarish inner world
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u ovaj unutrašnji svet noćne more
04:29
in which the voices were destined to become
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u kom su glasovi predodređeni da budu
04:31
both my persecutors and my only perceived companions.
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oboje: i progonitelji i moji jedini poznati drugovi.
04:35
They told me, for example, that if I proved myself worthy
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Rekli su mi, na primer, da ako dokažem da sam vredna
04:38
of their help, then they could change my life
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njihove pomoći, moći će da mi vrate život
04:40
back to how it had been,
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u onakav kakav je ranije bio,
04:41
and a series of increasingly bizarre tasks was set,
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i zadati su mi nizovi sve bizarnijih zadataka,
04:44
a kind of labor of Hercules.
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jedna vrsta Herkulesovog rada.
04:46
It started off quite small, for example,
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Počeli su kao mali zadaci, tipa,
04:48
pull out three strands of hair,
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izvući tri dlake kose,
04:50
but gradually it grew more extreme,
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ali postepeno je preraslo u ekstremno,
04:51
culminating in commands to harm myself,
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kulminirajući u komande da povredim sebe,
04:54
and a particularly dramatic instruction:
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i posebno dramatične instrukcije tipa:
04:56
"You see that tutor over there?
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"Vidiš onog tutora tamo?
04:58
You see that glass of water?
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Vidiš tu čašu vode?
04:59
Well, you have to go over and pour it over him in front of the other students."
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Pa, moraš da odeš tamo i poliješ ga tom vodom pred svim studentima."
05:02
Which I actually did, and which needless to say
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Što sam zapravo i učinila i za šta je bespotrebno reći
05:04
did not endear me to the faculty.
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da nije doprinelo da se dopadnem fakultetu.
05:06
In effect, a vicious cycle of fear, avoidance,
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Bukvalno je nastao zloban krug straha, izbegavanja,
05:10
mistrust and misunderstanding had been established,
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nepoverenja i nerazumevanja
05:13
and this was a battle in which I felt powerless
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i ovo je bila bitka u kojoj sam se osećala nemoćnom
05:15
and incapable of establishing any kind of peace or reconciliation.
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i nesposobnom da uspostavim bilo kakav mir ili pomirenje.
05:20
Two years later, and the deterioration was dramatic.
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Dve godine kasnije, i pogoršanje je bilo dramatično.
05:23
By now, I had the whole frenzied repertoire:
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Do tada, imala sam ceo pomahnitao repertoar:
05:27
terrifying voices, grotesque visions,
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zastrašujuće glasove, groteskna priviđenja,
05:30
bizarre, intractable delusions.
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bizarne, tvrdoglave zablude.
05:33
My mental health status had been a catalyst
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Moje stanje mentalnog zdravlja je bilo katalizator
05:35
for discrimination, verbal abuse,
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za diskriminaciju, verbalno zlostavljanje,
05:38
and physical and sexual assault,
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fizičko i seksualno zlostavljanje,
05:40
and I'd been told by my psychiatrist,
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i psihijatar mi je rekao:
05:42
"Eleanor, you'd be better off with cancer,
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"Elenor, bilo bi ti lakše da boluješ od raka,
05:44
because cancer is easier to cure than schizophrenia."
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jer je lakše izlečiti rak nego šizofreniju."
05:48
I'd been diagnosed, drugged and discarded,
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Postavljena mi je dijagnoza, bila sam na lekovima i odbačena,
05:51
and was by now so tormented by the voices
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i do sada toliko izmučena glasovima
05:53
that I attempted to drill a hole in my head
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da sam nameravala da iskopam rupu u svojoj glavi
05:56
in order to get them out.
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da bih ih se otarasila.
05:58
Now looking back on the wreckage and despair of those years,
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Sada kada pogledam unazad na brodolom i očaj tih godina,
06:02
it seems to me now as if someone died in that place,
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čini mi se kao da je neko umro na tom mestu,
06:06
and yet, someone else was saved.
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a ipak, neko drugi sačuvan.
06:09
A broken and haunted person began that journey,
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Polomljena i ukleta osoba počela je to putovanje,
06:13
but the person who emerged was a survivor
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ali osoba koja se pojavila bila je preživeli
06:16
and would ultimately grow into the person
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i na kraju postala osoba
06:18
I was destined to be.
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za koju sam bila predodređena.
06:20
Many people have harmed me in my life,
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Mnogo me je ljudi povredilo u mom životu,
06:23
and I remember them all,
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i sve njih pamtim,
06:24
but the memories grow pale and faint
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ali sećanja su izbledela i izgubila se
06:27
in comparison with the people who've helped me.
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u poređenju sa ljudima koji su mi pomogli.
06:31
The fellow survivors, the fellow voice-hearers,
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Drugovi preživeli, drugovi koji čuju glas,
06:33
the comrades and collaborators;
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prijatelji i saradnici:
06:35
the mother who never gave up on me,
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majka koja nikada nije odustala od mene,
06:38
who knew that one day I would come back to her
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koja je znala da ću joj se jednog dana vratiti
06:40
and was willing to wait for me for as long as it took;
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i bila voljna da me čeka koliko god je trebalo;
06:44
the doctor who only worked with me for a brief time
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doktor koji je radio sa mnom samo na kratko vreme,
06:47
but who reinforced his belief that recovery
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ali koji je jako verovao da oporavak
06:49
was not only possible but inevitable,
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nije bio samo moguć već i neizbežan,
06:51
and during a devastating period of relapse
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i tokom poražavajućeg perioda vraćanja
06:53
told my terrified family, "Don't give up hope.
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govorio mojoj prestravljenoj porodici: "Nemojte gubiti nadu.
06:56
I believe that Eleanor can get through this.
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Verujem da Elenor može da prođe kroz ovo.
06:59
Sometimes, you know, it snows as late as May,
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Znate, ponekad sneg pada i u maju,
07:02
but summer always comes eventually."
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ali leto uvek dođe."
07:06
Fourteen minutes is not enough time
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Četrnaest minuta nije dovoljno
07:07
to fully credit those good and generous people
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da u potpunosti navedem sve dobre i velikodušne ljude
07:10
who fought with me and for me
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koji su se borili sa mnom i za mene
07:12
and who waited to welcome me back
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i koji su čekali da mi požele dobrodošlicu
07:14
from that agonized, lonely place.
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iz tog očajnog, usamljenog mesta.
07:17
But together, they forged a blend of courage,
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Ali zajedno, stvorili su mešavinu hrabrosti,
07:19
creativity, integrity, and an unshakeable belief
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kreativnosti, integriteta i jedno nepokolebljivo verovanje
07:22
that my shattered self could become healed and whole.
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da oštećena ja mogu biti izlečena i zaceljena.
07:26
I used to say that these people saved me,
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Obično sam govorila kako su me ovi ljudi spasili,
07:28
but what I now know is they did something
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ali ono što sada znam je da su učinili nešto
07:30
even more important in that they empowered me
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dosta važnije na taj način da su me naterali da
07:32
to save myself,
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spasim sebe,
07:34
and crucially, they helped me to understand something
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i presudno, pomogli su mi da razumem nešto
07:36
which I'd always suspected:
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u šta sam uvek sumnjala:
07:38
that my voices were a meaningful response
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da su moji glasovi bili smislen odgovor
07:40
to traumatic life events, particularly childhood events,
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na traumatična životna dešavanja, naročito događaje iz detinjstva,
07:43
and as such were not my enemies
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i kao takvi, nisu bili moji naprijatelji,
07:45
but a source of insight into solvable emotional problems.
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nego izvor uvida u rešive emotivne probleme.
07:50
Now, at first, this was very difficult to believe,
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U početku u ovo je bilo jako teško poverovati,
07:53
not least because the voices appeared so hostile
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ni najmanje zato što su glasovi delovali tako neprijateljski
07:55
and menacing, so in this respect, a vital first step
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i preteći, time u tom pogledu, bitan prvi korak
07:59
was learning to separate out a metaphorical meaning
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je bio učenje da odvojim metaforičko značenje
08:01
from what I'd previously interpreted to be a literal truth.
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od onog što sam prethodno tumačila kao bukvalnu istinu.
08:05
So for example, voices which threatened to attack my home
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Na primer, glasove koji su pretili da će moj dom biti napadnut
08:08
I learned to interpret as my own sense of fear
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naučila sam da tumačim kao moj lični osećaj straha
08:11
and insecurity in the world, rather than an actual, objective danger.
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i nebezbednosti u ovom svetu, a ne kao pravu, objektivnu opasnost.
08:15
Now at first, I would have believed them.
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U početku bih im verovala.
08:17
I remember, for example, sitting up one night
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Pamtim, na primer, kako sam sedela jedne večeri
08:18
on guard outside my parents' room to protect them
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i čuvala sobu svojih roditelja da bih ih zaštitila
08:21
from what I thought was a genuine threat from the voices.
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od onog što sam mislila da je bilo prava opasnost mojih glasova.
08:24
Because I'd had such a bad problem with self-injury
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Zbog toga što sam imala dosta problema sa samopovređivanjem
08:27
that most of the cutlery in the house had been hidden,
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većina pribora za jelo je bila sakrivena,
08:29
so I ended up arming myself with a plastic fork,
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pa sam se na kraju naoružala plastičnom viljuškom,
08:32
kind of like picnic ware, and sort of sat outside the room
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kao escajg za piknik, sedela sam ispred sobe
stežući viljušku i čekajući da skočim ako se išta desi.
08:35
clutching it and waiting to spring into action should anything happen.
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08:38
It was like, "Don't mess with me.
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Nešto poput: "Nemojte da se kačite sa mnom.
08:40
I've got a plastic fork, don't you know?"
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Imam plastičnu viljušku, zar ne znate?"
08:43
Strategic.
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Strateški.
08:44
But a later response, and much more useful,
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Ali kasniji odgovor, i mnogo korisniji,
08:47
would be to try and deconstruct the message behind the words,
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bio bi da pokušam da dekonstruišem poruku iza reči,
08:51
so when the voices warned me not to leave the house,
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tako kada su me glasovi upozoravali da ne napuštam kuću,
08:54
then I would thank them for drawing my attention
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zahvalila bih im što mi privlače pažnju
08:56
to how unsafe I felt --
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na to koliko sam se nesigurno osećala,
08:57
because if I was aware of it, then I could do something positive about it --
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jer kada sam bila svesna toga mogla sam da uradim nešto pozitivno u vezi s tim -
09:00
but go on to reassure both them and myself
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ali da ponovo uverim oboje, i njih i mene,
09:03
that we were safe and didn't need to feel frightened anymore.
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da smo bezbedni i da više nema potrebe da se osećamo uplašenim.
09:06
I would set boundaries for the voices,
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Postavila bih granice za glasove
09:08
and try to interact with them in a way that was assertive
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i pokušala da komuniciram sa njima sa sigurnošću
ali i uz puno poštovanja, uspostavljajući spor proces
09:11
yet respectful, establishing a slow process
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09:13
of communication and collaboration
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komunikacije i saradnje
09:15
in which we could learn to work together and support one another.
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na koji bismo mogli da naučimo da sarađujemo i podržavamo jedno drugo.
09:18
Throughout all of this, what I would ultimately realize
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Kroz sve ovo, ono što sam na kraju shvatila
09:21
was that each voice was closely related
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bilo je da je svaki glas bio usko povezan
09:23
to aspects of myself, and that each of them
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sa aspektima mog života i da svaki od njih
09:25
carried overwhelming emotions that I'd never had
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nosi emocije za koje nikad nisam imala
prilike da ih obradim ili ih se rešim,
09:28
an opportunity to process or resolve,
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09:30
memories of sexual trauma and abuse,
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sećanja seksualnih trauma i zlostavljanja,
09:32
of anger, shame, guilt, low self-worth.
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besa, srama, krivice, niskog samopouzdanja.
09:35
The voices took the place of this pain
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Glasovi su zauzeli mesto ovog bola
09:38
and gave words to it,
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i tome dali reči,
09:39
and possibly one of the greatest revelations
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a jedno od moguće najvećih otkrovenja
09:41
was when I realized that the most hostile and aggressive voices
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bilo je kada sam shvatila da najneprijateljskiji i najagresivnji
09:44
actually represented the parts of me
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zapravo predstavljaju delove mene
09:46
that had been hurt most profoundly,
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koji su bili najdublje povređeni,
09:48
and as such, it was these voices
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i kao takvima, upravo tim glasovima
09:50
that needed to be shown the greatest compassion and care.
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je bilo potrebno pokazati najveće saosećanje i brigu.
09:53
It was armed with this knowledge that ultimately
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Naoružana znanjem da bih na kraju
09:56
I would gather together my shattered self,
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sakupila popucalu sebe,
09:59
each fragment represented by a different voice,
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svaki odlomak predstavljen drugačijim glasom,
10:01
gradually withdraw from all my medication,
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postepeno bih smanjivala sve svoje lekove,
10:03
and return to psychiatry, only this time from the other side.
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i vratila se psihijatriji, samo ovog puta sa druge strane.
10:08
Ten years after the voice first came, I finally graduated,
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Deset godina posle prve pojave glasa, konačno sam diplomirala,
10:12
this time with the highest degree in psychology
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ovog puta sa najvišom ocenom iz psihologije
10:14
the university had ever given, and one year later,
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koju je univerzitet ikada dao, a godinu dana kasnije,
10:16
the highest masters, which shall we say
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najveći master, što, da kažemo,
10:18
isn't bad for a madwoman.
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i nije tako loše za ludu ženu.
10:20
In fact, one of the voices actually dictated the answers
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Zapravo, jedan od glasova je diktirao odgovore
10:22
during the exam, which technically possibly counts as cheating.
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za vreme ispita, što je tehnički moguće računati kao varanje.
(Smeh)
10:26
(Laughter)
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10:27
And to be honest, sometimes I quite enjoyed their attention as well.
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I da budem iskrena, uživala sam ponekad u njihovoj pažnji.
10:30
As Oscar Wilde has said, the only thing worse
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kao što je Oskar Vajld rekao: jedina stvar gora
od toga da se o vama govori je da se o vama ne govori.
10:32
than being talked about is not being talked about.
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10:34
It also makes you very good at eavesdropping,
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To te takođe čini dobrim u prisluškivanju,
zato što možeš da slušaš dva razgovora u isto vreme.
10:37
because you can listen to two conversations simultaneously.
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10:39
So it's not all bad.
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Dakle, nije to tako loše.
10:41
I worked in mental health services,
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Radila sam u službi za mentalno zdravlje,
10:42
I spoke at conferences,
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držala govore na konferencijama,
10:45
I published book chapters and academic articles,
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izdavala sam poglavlja u knjigama i akademske članke,
10:47
and I argued, and continue to do so,
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i zalagala se, što i nastavljam da radim,
10:50
the relevance of the following concept:
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za relevantnost sledećeg koncepta:
10:52
that an important question in psychiatry
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bitno pitanje u psihijatriji
10:54
shouldn't be what's wrong with you
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ne bi trebalo da bude šta je nije u redu sa tobom
10:56
but rather what's happened to you.
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već šta ti se desilo.
10:58
And all the while, I listened to my voices,
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I sve vreme, slušala sam svoje glasove,
11:01
with whom I'd finally learned to live with peace and respect
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sa kojima sam konačno naučila da živim u miru i poštovanju
11:04
and which in turn reflected a growing sense
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a koji su zazvrat odrazili rastuće osećanje
11:06
of compassion, acceptance and respect towards myself.
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samopoštovanja, prihvatanja i poštovanja same sebe.
11:10
And I remember the most moving and extraordinary moment
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Pamtim izvanredni trenutak najvećeg napretka
11:13
when supporting another young woman who was terrorized by her voices,
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kada sam podržavala drugu mladu ženu koja je bila terorizovana svojim glasovima,
11:16
and becoming fully aware, for the very first time,
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i konačno shvatila u potpunosti, po prvi put,
11:19
that I no longer felt that way myself
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da se više nisam osećala tako
11:21
but was finally able to help someone else who was.
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već spremnom da pomognem nekom drugom ko jeste.
11:25
I'm now very proud to be a part of Intervoice,
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Sada sam jako ponosna što sam deo Unutrašnjeg glasa,
11:29
the organizational body of the International Hearing Voices Movement,
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organizacionog tela Međunarodnog pokreta "Hearing Vocies",
11:33
an initiative inspired by the work of Professor Marius Romme
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koji je inicijativa inspirisana delom profesora Mariusa Rome
11:36
and Dr. Sandra Escher,
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i dr Sandre Ešer,
11:37
which locates voice hearing as a survival strategy,
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i koji smatra čujenje glasova kao strategiju preživljavanja,
11:40
a sane reaction to insane circumstances,
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i zdravu reakciju na nezdrave okolnosti,
11:44
not as an aberrant symptom of schizophrenia to be endured,
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ne kao nenormalni simptom šizofrenije koji treba trpeti,
11:47
but a complex, significant and meaningful experience
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već kao kompleksno i značajno iskustvo
11:51
to be explored.
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koje treba izučiti.
11:53
Together, we envisage and enact a society
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Zajedno, predočavamo i predstavljamo društvo
11:55
that understands and respects voice hearing,
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koje razume i poštuje glasove,
11:58
supports the needs of individuals who hear voices,
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podržava potrebe individua koje ih čuju,
12:00
and which values them as full citizens.
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i koje ih vrednuje kao punopravne građane.
12:04
This type of society is not only possible,
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Ovaj tip društva nije samo moguć,
12:06
it's already on its way.
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nego je već u nastanku.
12:08
To paraphrase Chavez, once social change begins,
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Da parafraziram Čaveza: kada jedna drušvena promena počne,
12:12
it cannot be reversed.
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ne može biti preokrenuta.
12:14
You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride.
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Ne možete poniziti osobu koja se oseća ponosno.
12:17
You cannot oppress the people
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Ne možete tlačiti ljude
12:19
who are not afraid anymore.
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koji više nisu uplašeni.
12:21
For me, the achievements of the Hearing Voices Movement
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Po meni, dostignuća pokreta "Hearing Voices"
12:24
are a reminder that empathy, fellowship,
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su podsetinik da su empatija i drugarstvo,
12:26
justice and respect are more than words;
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pravda i poštovanje više od reči;
12:29
they are convictions and beliefs,
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oni su ubeđenja i verovanja,
12:32
and that beliefs can change the world.
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i da verovanja mogu da promene svet.
12:34
In the last 20 years, the Hearing Voices Movement
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U poslednjih 20 godina, pokret "Hearing Voices"
12:37
has established hearing voices networks
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uspostavio je mrežu onih koji čuju glasove,
12:39
in 26 countries across five continents,
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u 26 zemalja preko pet kontinenata,
12:42
working together to promote dignity, solidarity
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radeći zajedno da promovišu dostojanstvo, solidarnost
12:45
and empowerment for individuals in mental distress,
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i osnaživanje idividua sa mentalnim nevoljama,
12:49
to create a new language and practice of hope,
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da stvore novi jezik i praksu nade,
12:52
which, at its very center, lies an unshakable belief
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koja, u svom centru, leži na nepokolebljivom verovanju
12:56
in the power of the individual.
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u moć pojedinca.
12:59
As Peter Levine has said, the human animal
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Kao što je Piter Lavin rekao: ljudska životinja
13:02
is a unique being
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je jedinstveno biće obdarenao
13:03
endowed with an instinctual capacity to heal
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instinktivnim kapacitetom za izlečenjem
13:07
and the intellectual spirit to harness this innate capacity.
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i intelektualnim duhom da iskoristi ovaj urođeni kapacitet.
13:11
In this respect, for members of society,
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U ovom pogledu, za članove društva,
13:13
there is no greater honor or privilege
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ne postoji veća čast ili privilegija
13:16
than facilitating that process of healing for someone,
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od olakšavanja tog procesa izlečenja neke osobe,
13:18
to bear witness, to reach out a hand,
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biti svedok, ispružiti ruku,
13:21
to share the burden of someone's suffering,
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deliti teret onoga koji pati,
13:24
and to hold the hope for their recovery.
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i verovati u njihov oporavak.
13:27
And likewise, for survivors of distress and adversity,
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Na taj način, za preživele nevolja i nesreća,
13:29
that we remember we don't have to live our lives
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pamtimo da ne moramo živeti
13:32
forever defined by the damaging things that have happened to us.
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zauvek definisani oštećujućim stvarima koje su nam se desile.
13:36
We are unique. We are irreplaceable.
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Mi smo jedinstveni. Mi smo nezamenljivi.
13:38
What lies within us can never be truly colonized,
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Ono što leži u nama ne može nikad biti zaista kolonizovano,
13:41
contorted, or taken away.
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kontrolisano ili uzeto.
13:43
The light never goes out.
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Svetlo se nikad ne gasi.
13:47
As a very wonderful doctor once said to me,
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Kao što mi je jednom jedan predivan doktor rekao:
13:49
"Don't tell me what other people have told you about yourself.
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"Nemoj mi reći šta su ti drugi ljudi rekli o tebi.
13:53
Tell me about you."
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Ti mi reci o sebi."
13:56
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
13:58
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
About this website

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