The voices in my head | Eleanor Longden

Translator: Iris Xholi Reviewer: Helena Bedalli

The day I left home for the first time

Dita kur u largova për herë të parë nga shtëpia

to go to university was a bright day

për të shkuar në universitet ishte një ditë e shenuar

brimming with hope and optimism.

mbushur me shpresë dhe optimizëm.

I'd done well at school. Expectations for me were high,

Kisha dalë mirë në shkollë. Pritej shumë nga une,

and I gleefully entered the student life

dhe me gëzim të madh hyra në jetën studentore

of lectures, parties and traffic cone theft.

të leksioneve, festave dhe vjedhjeve të koneve të trafikut.

Now appearances, of course, can be deceptive,

Tani pamja e jashtme, sigurisht, mund të mashtrojë

and to an extent, this feisty, energetic persona

dhe deri në një pikë, ky njëri i levizshëm, energjik

of lecture-going and traffic cone stealing was a veneer,

mes leksionesh dhe vjedhje të koneve te trafikut ishte një lustër,

albeit a very well-crafted and convincing one.

megjithatë e punuar mirë dhe bindëse.

Underneath, I was actually deeply unhappy, insecure

Ne brendësi, unë isha thellësisht e palumtur, e pasigurt

and fundamentally frightened --

dhe krejtësisht e frikësuar --

frightened of other people, of the future, of failure

e frikësuar nga njerëzit e tjerë, nga e ardhmja, nga dështimi

and of the emptiness that I felt was within me.

dhe nga boshllëku që ndjeja brenda meje.

But I was skilled at hiding it, and from the outside

Por isha e afte ta fshihja ate, dhe nga jashte

appeared to be someone with everything to hope for

dukesha si dikush që kish gjithcka per te shpresuar

and aspire to.

dhe aspiruar.

This fantasy of invulnerability was so complete

Kjo fantazi e pacenueshmerise ishte kaq e plote

that I even deceived myself,

aq sa mashtrova veten time,

and as the first semester ended and the second began,

dhe sapo mbaroi semestri i parë dhe filloi i dyti

there was no way that anyone could have predicted

nuk kishte mundësi që dikush të kishte parashikuar

what was just about to happen.

atë që do të ndodhte.

I was leaving a seminar when it started,

Po dilja nga një seminar kur filloi,

humming to myself, fumbling with my bag

po kendoja nen ze, duke germuar canten

just as I'd done a hundred times before,

sikurse kisha bere dhe qindra here te tjera,

when suddenly I heard a voice calmly observe,

kur degjova nje ze qe thote qetesisht,

"She is leaving the room."

"Ajo po largohet nga dhoma."

I looked around, and there was no one there,

Hodha syte perreth por nuk pashe asnjeri,

but the clarity and decisiveness of the comment

por qartesia dhe vendosmeria e atij komenti

was unmistakable.

ishte e pagabueshme.

Shaken, I left my books on the stairs and hurried home,

Duke u dridhur, i lashe librat te shkallet dhe vrapova per ne shtepi,

and there it was again.

dhe ja tek e degjova serish.

"She is opening the door."

"Ajo po hap deren."

This was the beginning. The voice had arrived.

Ky ishte fillimi. Zeri kishte ardhur.

And the voice persisted,

Dhe zeri vazhdonte te kembengulte,

days and then weeks of it, on and on,

dite e me pas jave, ne vazhdimesi,

narrating everything I did in the third person.

duke treguar c'do gje qe beja ne vete te trete.

"She is going to the library."

"Ajo po shkon ne biblioteke."

"She is going to a lecture."

"Ajo po shkon ne leksion."

It was neutral, impassive and even, after a while,

Ishte neutrale, pasive dhe pas pak kohesh,

strangely companionate and reassuring,

cuditerisht shoqeruese dhe siguruese,

although I did notice that its calm exterior sometimes slipped

ndonese vereja se qetesia e jashtme ndonjehere ndryshonte

and that it occasionally mirrored my own unexpressed emotion.

dhe rastiste te pasqyronte emocionet e mia te pashprehura.

So, for example, if I was angry and had to hide it,

Nqse isha e nevrikosur dhe perpiqesha ta fshihja,

which I often did, being very adept at concealing how I really felt,

gje qe e beja shpesh, duke qene mesuar te fsheh ate qe ndiej,

then the voice would sound frustrated.

atehere zeri do te tingellonte i frustruar.

Otherwise, it was neither sinister nor disturbing,

Ne te kundert, nuk ishte as shqetesues e as e lige,

although even at that point it was clear

por edhe ne ate pike ishte e qarte

that it had something to communicate to me

qe kishte dicka per te me komunikuar

about my emotions, particularly emotions

rreth emocioneve, mbi te gjitha emocionet

which were remote and inaccessible.

qe ishin te largeta dhe te paarrira.

Now it was then that I made a fatal mistake,

Ishte pikerisht atehere kur bera nje gabim fatal,

in that I told a friend about the voice, and she was horrified.

i tregova nje mikes rreth zerave, dhe ajo u tmerrua.

A subtle conditioning process had begun,

Nje proces kufizuez kish nisur,

the implication that normal people don't hear voices

te kuptuarit qe njerezit normal nuk degjonin zera

and the fact that I did meant that something was very seriously wrong.

dhe fakti qe une nisa te besoj qe dicka me te vertete nuk shkonte mire.

Such fear and mistrust was infectious.

Kjo frike dhe ky mosbesim ishte infektuese.

Suddenly the voice didn't seem quite so benign anymore,

Cuditerisht zeri nisi te mos dukej me aq beninj,

and when she insisted that I seek medical attention,

dhe kur ajo kembenguli qe te merrja trajtim mjekesor,

I duly complied, and which proved to be

une rashe dakort, c'ka nenkuptoi

mistake number two.

gabimin tim numer dy.

I spent some time telling the college G.P.

Harxhova ca kohe duke i treguar mjekut te Universitetit

about what I perceived to be the real problem:

rreth atij c'ka une dalloj si problem real:

ankth, besim i ulet ne vetvete, frike per te ardhmen,

anxiety, low self-worth, fears about the future,

and was met with bored indifference

dhe ajo cka kisha perballe ishte nje indiference e merzitshme

until I mentioned the voice,

deri kur une permenda 'zeri',

upon which he dropped his pen, swung round

ne ate pike ai leshoi stilolapsin, u rrotullua

and began to question me with a show of real interest.

dhe nisi te me pyes me interes te vertete.

And to be fair, I was desperate for interest and help,

Dhe qe te jem e sinqerte, isha e deshperuar per interes dhe ndihme,

and I began to tell him about my strange commentator.

dhe nisa ti tregoj gjithcka rreth komentuesit te cuditshem.

And I always wish, at this point, the voice had said,

Dhe gjithnje shpresoja, qe zeri te thoshte,

"Ajo po i ben gropen vetes."

"She is digging her own grave."

I was referred to a psychiatrist, who likewise

Me pas me referuan nje psikiater, i cili sikunder mjeku

took a grim view of the voice's presence,

hodhi nje veshtrim te venger prezences se zerit,

subsequently interpreting everything I said

duke e interpretuar gjithcka thoja

nepermjet nje lupe cmendurie.

through a lens of latent insanity.

For example, I was part of a student TV station

Per shembull, une isha pjese e nje stacioni televiziv studentor

that broadcast news bulletins around the campus,

qe paraqiste lajmet e kampusit,

and during an appointment which was running very late,

dhe gjate nje takimi qe po zgjaste me shume se parashikuar,

I said, "I'm sorry, doctor, I've got to go.

thash, "me fal doktor, por me duhet te shkoj,

I'm reading the news at six."

jap lajmet ne oren 6-te."

Now it's down on my medical records that Eleanor

Tashme eshte e shenuar ne raportin tim mjeksor qe Eleonor

ka deluzione qe eshte spikere lajmesh ne televizion.

has delusions that she's a television news broadcaster.

It was at this point that events began

Ne kete pike ndodhi qe ngjarjet

to rapidly overtake me.

filluan te me parakalonin shume shpejt.

A hospital admission followed, the first of many,

Me pas me shtruan ne spital, hera e pare nga ato dhjetra qe do ndiqnin,

a diagnosis of schizophrenia came next,

dhe me pas diagnostifikimi me skizofreni,

and then, worst of all, a toxic, tormenting sense

cka e ndoqi pas nje ndjesi toksike dhe sfilitese

of hopelessness, humiliation and despair

turpi, deshperimi dhe perhumbje

about myself and my prospects.

rreth vetes dhe te ardhmes sime.

But having been encouraged to see the voice

Por te qenit i inkurajuar per ta pare zerin

not as an experience but as a symptom,

jo si nje eksperience por simptome,

my fear and resistance towards it intensified.

frika dhe rezistenca ndaj te ciles nisi te intensifikohej.

Now essentially, this represented taking

Kjo do te thote qe te marresh nje

an aggressive stance towards my own mind,

qendrim agresiv ndaj mendjes tende,

a kind of psychic civil war,

nje lloj lufte civile psikike,

and in turn this caused the number of voices to increase

cka shkaktoi numrin e zerave te rritej

and grow progressively hostile and menacing.

duke u bere gjithnje me kercenues dhe rezistente.

Helplessly and hopelessly, I began to retreat

Pa shprese dhe pa ndihme, nisa te mbyllesha

into this nightmarish inner world

ne te frikshmen boten time te brendshme

in which the voices were destined to become

ne te cilen zerat ishin te destinuar te beheshin

both my persecutors and my only perceived companions.

ndjekesit dhe njekohesisht shoqeruesit e mi.

They told me, for example, that if I proved myself worthy

Me thane per shembull, qe nese provoja se ja vleja ndihmen e tyre,

of their help, then they could change my life

atehere ata do te me ndihmonin te ndryshoja jeten

back to how it had been,

e te kthehesha si me pare,

and a series of increasingly bizarre tasks was set,

dhe nje sere detyrash te cuditshme me jepeshin,

a kind of labor of Hercules.

nje pune herkuliane.

It started off quite small, for example,

Nisi fillimisht me gjera te vogla, per shembull,

pull out three strands of hair,

shkul tre fije floku,

but gradually it grew more extreme,

po sa vinte e behej me ekstreme,

culminating in commands to harm myself,

duke me dhene komanda qe te lendoja veten,

and a particularly dramatic instruction:

nje detyre mjaft drastike:

"You see that tutor over there?

"E sheh ate profesorin atje?

You see that glass of water?

Po ate goten me uje?

Well, you have to go over and pour it over him in front of the other students."

Atehere, zbraze goten mbi profesorin ne sy te studenteve te tjere."

Which I actually did, and which needless to say

Gje c'ka bera, dhe s'ka nevoje te them

did not endear me to the faculty.

qe kjo me pezulloi nga fakulteti.

In effect, a vicious cycle of fear, avoidance,

Nje rreth vicioz frike, shmangie,

mistrust and misunderstanding had been established,

mosbesimi dhe keqkuptimi ishte formuar tashme,

and this was a battle in which I felt powerless

dhe kjo ishte nje beteje ne te cilen ndjehesha e pafuqishme

and incapable of establishing any kind of peace or reconciliation.

dhe e paafte te krijoja paqe a ribashkim.

Two years later, and the deterioration was dramatic.

Dy vjet me pas, perkeqesimi ishte dramatik.

By now, I had the whole frenzied repertoire:

Kisha te gjithe repertorin e shfrenuar:

terrifying voices, grotesque visions,

zera te frikshem, imazhe grotekse,

bizarre, intractable delusions.

iluzione te cuditshme, te pakapshme.

My mental health status had been a catalyst

Gjendja e shendetit tim mendor ka qene nje katalist

for discrimination, verbal abuse,

per diskriminim, abuzim verbal,

and physical and sexual assault,

sulm fizik dhe seksual,

and I'd been told by my psychiatrist,

dhe me eshte thene nga mjeket e mi,

"Eleanor, you'd be better off with cancer,

"Eleonor, me mire po te kishe patur kancer,

because cancer is easier to cure than schizophrenia."

sepse kanceri eshte me i lehte per tu sheruar se skizofrenia."

I'd been diagnosed, drugged and discarded,

Me kane diagnostifikuar, dhene ilace dhe nxjerre nga spitali,

and was by now so tormented by the voices

dhe isha kaq e cfilitur nga zerat

that I attempted to drill a hole in my head

saqe tentova te hapja nje vrime ne koke

in order to get them out.

ne menyre qe ti nxirrja qe aty.

Now looking back on the wreckage and despair of those years,

Tani, tek kthej koken pas tek ato vite deshperimi te jetes sime,

it seems to me now as if someone died in that place,

kam ndjesine se dikush ka vdekur ne ate vend,

and yet, someone else was saved.

por njekohesisht, dikush tjeter ka shpetuar.

A broken and haunted person began that journey,

Nje njeri i perhumbur dhe i thyer nisi ate udhetim,

but the person who emerged was a survivor

por personi qe doli ne siperfaqe ishte nje e mbijetuar

and would ultimately grow into the person

e cila do te behej ai njeri

I was destined to be.

qe une kisha lindur per te qene.

Many people have harmed me in my life,

Shume njerez, pergjate jetes sime, me kane lenduar,

and I remember them all,

dhe une i kujtoj mjaft mire te gjithe,

but the memories grow pale and faint

por keto memorje sa vine e zbehen

in comparison with the people who've helped me.

tek i krahasoj me njerezit te cilet me kane ndihmuar.

The fellow survivors, the fellow voice-hearers,

Te tjeret si une qe kane mbijetuar, ata zera-degjuesit e tjere,

the comrades and collaborators;

shoket dhe bashkepunuesit;

the mother who never gave up on me,

nena qe nuk hoqi dore kurre prej meje,

who knew that one day I would come back to her

e cila e dinte qe nje dite une do te rikthehesha tek ajo

and was willing to wait for me for as long as it took;

dhe qe do te me priste sado e gjate pritja;

the doctor who only worked with me for a brief time

doktori qe punoi me mua vetem per pak

but who reinforced his belief that recovery

por qe perforcoi besimin qe permiresimi

was not only possible but inevitable,

jo vetem ish i mundur, por i pashmangshem,

and during a devastating period of relapse

dhe gjate periudhave te renies sime,

told my terrified family, "Don't give up hope.

i tha familjes sime, "mos u dorezoni.

I believe that Eleanor can get through this.

Besoj se Eleonor mund t'ja dale mbane kesaj.

Sometimes, you know, it snows as late as May,

Ndonjehere bie bore deri ne maj, por

but summer always comes eventually."

vera vjen gjithesesi ne menyre te pashmangshme."

Fourteen minutes is not enough time

14 minuta nuk jane mjaftueshem per ti

to fully credit those good and generous people

njohur meritat e duhura te gjithe atyre njerezve te mire

who fought with me and for me

te cilet luftuan me mua dhe per mua

and who waited to welcome me back

dhe priten qe une te kthehesha

from that agonized, lonely place.

nga agonia dhe vetmia e vendit ku ndodhesha.

But together, they forged a blend of courage,

Por sebashku, ne krijuam nje perzierje kurajo,

creativity, integrity, and an unshakeable belief

kreativiteti, integriteti dhe besimi te patundur

that my shattered self could become healed and whole.

qe kjo qenia ime e bere grimcash mund te behej njesh dhe te sherohej.

I used to say that these people saved me,

Mendoja se ata njerez me kishin shpetuar,

but what I now know is they did something

por ajo c'ka di tani eshte qe ata bene dicka shume me teper

even more important in that they empowered me

te rendesishme, ato me fuqizuan mua

to save myself,

per te shpetuar veten,

and crucially, they helped me to understand something

dhe me e rendesishmja ata me ndihmuan te kuptoj

which I'd always suspected:

ate qe kam dyshuar gjithnje:

that my voices were a meaningful response

qe zerat e mi ishin nje pergjigje kuptimplote

to traumatic life events, particularly childhood events,

te eventeve traumatike te jetes, vecanerisht gjate femijerise,

and as such were not my enemies

dhe si te tille nuk ishin armiqte e mi

but a source of insight into solvable emotional problems.

por nje burim per te kuptuar problemet e mia emocionale qe duheshin zgjidhur.

Now, at first, this was very difficult to believe,

Si fillim, kjo ishte mjaft e veshtire per tu besuar,

not least because the voices appeared so hostile

dhe jo pak si rrjedhoje e agresivitetit te zerave

and menacing, so in this respect, a vital first step

dhe kercenimit te tyre, keshtuqe nje hap i rendesishem

was learning to separate out a metaphorical meaning

ishte te mesoja se si te ndaja nje kuptim metaforik

from what I'd previously interpreted to be a literal truth.

nga ajo c'ka me pare e merrja si te vertete te mireqene.

So for example, voices which threatened to attack my home

Per shembull, zerat qe kercenonin se do te sulmonin shtepine time

I learned to interpret as my own sense of fear

mesova ti interpretoj si ndjenja ime e frikes

and insecurity in the world, rather than an actual, objective danger.

dhe pasigurise ne bote, dhe jo nje rrezik eminent.

Now at first, I would have believed them.

Ne fillim i besoja atyre.

I remember, for example, sitting up one night

Mbaj mend, pershembull qe nje nate kam bere roje

on guard outside my parents' room to protect them

para dhomes se prinderve per ti mbrojtur ata

from what I thought was a genuine threat from the voices.

nga ajo cka mendoja si nje kercenim i mirefillte nga zerat.

Because I'd had such a bad problem with self-injury

Si rrjedhoje e faktit qe kisha probleme serioze me vete-demtimin,

that most of the cutlery in the house had been hidden,

shumica e objekteve me teh ne shtepi ishin fshehur

so I ended up arming myself with a plastic fork,

kshqe perfundova e armatosur me nje pirun plastik,

kind of like picnic ware, and sort of sat outside the room

dhe u ula jashte dhomes

duke pritur qe te hidhesha ne veprim sapo te ndodhte dicka.

clutching it and waiting to spring into action should anything happen.

It was like, "Don't mess with me.

ishte pak a shume, "Mos u ngaterro me mua.

I've got a plastic fork, don't you know?"

Kam nje pirun plastik, nuk e sheh?"

Strategic.

Strategjike.

But a later response, and much more useful,

Por nje pergjigje e mevonshme e shume me e frytshme,

would be to try and deconstruct the message behind the words,

do te ishte te shkaterroje mesazhin pas fjaleve,

so when the voices warned me not to leave the house,

ne menyre qe kur zerat te me thone te mos largohen nga shtepia,

then I would thank them for drawing my attention

pastaj do mund ti falenderoj qe me lajmeruan

to how unsafe I felt --

rreth pasigurise qe ndjeva--

because if I was aware of it, then I could do something positive about it --

pasi po te isha e vetedijshme per te, do te mund te beja dicka pozitive per te--

but go on to reassure both them and myself

por me duhej te siguroja ata dhe veten qe ishim te sigurt

that we were safe and didn't need to feel frightened anymore.

dhe nuk kishim asnje arsye per te qene te frikesuar.

I would set boundaries for the voices,

Do ti vendosja kufij zerave,

and try to interact with them in a way that was assertive

dhe te perpiqesha te komunikoja me to ne nje menyre qe te ishte e kuptueshme

por me respekt, duke vendosur nje proces te ngadalte

yet respectful, establishing a slow process

of communication and collaboration

komunikimi dhe bashkepunimi

in which we could learn to work together and support one another.

ne te cilen mund te mesonim te punonim se bashku dhe ndihmonim njeri-tjetrin.

Throughout all of this, what I would ultimately realize

Pergjate gjithe ketij procesi, ajo c'ka do kuptoja eshte se

was that each voice was closely related

secili ze ishte ngushtesisht i lidhur

to aspects of myself, and that each of them

me disa aspekte te vetes sime, dhe secili prej tyre

carried overwhelming emotions that I'd never had

mbante peshen e emocioneve qe nuk kam patur kurre mundesi

ti procesoj a zgjidh,

an opportunity to process or resolve,

memories of sexual trauma and abuse,

memorje traumash seksuale dhe abuzimeve,

of anger, shame, guilt, low self-worth.

inatit, turpit, ndjenjes se faijt, ndjenjes se inferioritetit.

The voices took the place of this pain

Zerat zevendesuan kete dhembje

and gave words to it,

dhe i dhane ze asaj,

and possibly one of the greatest revelations

ndoshta nje nga zbulimet me te medha

was when I realized that the most hostile and aggressive voices

ishte te kuptoja qe nje nga zerat me te dhunshem dhe agresiv,

actually represented the parts of me

faktikisht perfaqesonte ate pjese timen

that had been hurt most profoundly,

qe ishte lenduar me se shumti,

and as such, it was these voices

dhe si te tille,

that needed to be shown the greatest compassion and care.

kerkonin perkujdesjen dhe miresine me te madhe.

It was armed with this knowledge that ultimately

E pajisur me kete njohuri qe me ne fund

I would gather together my shattered self,

do mundja ta beja bashke veten time,

each fragment represented by a different voice,

ku cdo fragment perfaqesohet nga nje ze i ndryshem,

gradually withdraw from all my medication,

duke hequr dore gradualisht nga ilacet,

and return to psychiatry, only this time from the other side.

dhe rikthimin te psikiatria, por kete here nga ana tjeter.

Ten years after the voice first came, I finally graduated,

10 vjet pas ardhjes se "zerit te pare" une me ne fund u diplomova,

this time with the highest degree in psychology

kete here me diplomen me te larte ne psikologji

the university had ever given, and one year later,

qe universiteti kish dhene ndonjehere, dhe nje vit me pas,

the highest masters, which shall we say

me masterin me te larte, qe duhet ta pranojme

isn't bad for a madwoman.

nuk eshte dhe aq keq per nje grua te cmendur.

In fact, one of the voices actually dictated the answers

Ne fakt, ishte nje nga zerat ne koken time qe me dha pergjigjet

during the exam, which technically possibly counts as cheating.

gjate provimit, qe teknikisht mund te quhet si kopjim.

(Te qeshura)

(Laughter)

And to be honest, sometimes I quite enjoyed their attention as well.

Dhe te them te drejten, disa here me pelqente vemendja e tyre.

As Oscar Wilde has said, the only thing worse

Sic ka thene Oscar Wilde, "E vetmja gje me e keqe se

kur flitet per ty, eshte te mos folurit fare".

than being talked about is not being talked about.

It also makes you very good at eavesdropping,

Gjithashtu te ben shume te afte per pergjime,

sepse je ne gjendje te degjosh dy biseda ne te njejten kohe.

because you can listen to two conversations simultaneously.

So it's not all bad.

Pra, nuk eshte shume keq.

I worked in mental health services,

Kam punuar neper qendra te shendetit mendor,

I spoke at conferences,

kam mbajtur fjale ne konferenca,

I published book chapters and academic articles,

kam publikuar kapituj librash dhe artikuj akademike,

and I argued, and continue to do so,

dhe kam argumentuar, dhe vazhdoj ta bej,

the relevance of the following concept:

rendesine e konceptit te meposhtem:

that an important question in psychiatry

qe nje pyetje e rendesishme ne psikiatri

shouldn't be what's wrong with you

nuk duhet te jete se cfare ka qe nuk shkon me ty

but rather what's happened to you.

por me teper cfare te ka ndodhur ty.

And all the while, I listened to my voices,

Dhe gjate gjithe kohes qe degjoja zerat,

with whom I'd finally learned to live with peace and respect

me te cilet me ne fund mesova te jetoj ne paqe dhe respekt

and which in turn reflected a growing sense

dhe te cilet ne fund reflektuan nje sens ne rritje

of compassion, acceptance and respect towards myself.

kompasioni, vetepranie dhe respekti ndaj vetes.

And I remember the most moving and extraordinary moment

Dhe me kujtohet momenti me i prekshem dhe i mrekullueshem

when supporting another young woman who was terrorized by her voices,

tek po ndihmoja nje grua te re qe ishte e traumatizuar nga zerat,

and becoming fully aware, for the very first time,

u bera e vetedijshme plotesisht qe, per here te pare,

that I no longer felt that way myself

une nuk po ndjehesha me ashtu

but was finally able to help someone else who was.

por qe me ne fund isha ne gjendje te ndihmoja dike tjeter qe ishte.

I'm now very proud to be a part of Intervoice,

Tani jam shume krenare qe jam pjese e intervoice,

the organizational body of the International Hearing Voices Movement,

trupi organizativ i levizjes nderkombetare "Degjimi i zerave",

an initiative inspired by the work of Professor Marius Romme

nje iniciative e frymezuar nga puna e profesorit Marius Romme

and Dr. Sandra Escher,

dhe Dr. Sandra Escher,

which locates voice hearing as a survival strategy,

qe e kane evidentuar degjimin e zerave si nje strategji mbijetese,

a sane reaction to insane circumstances,

nje veprim i kthjellet ne nje situate cmendurie,

not as an aberrant symptom of schizophrenia to be endured,

jo si nje simptome skizofrenie per ta duruar,

but a complex, significant and meaningful experience

por nje eksperience komplekse, kuptimplote

to be explored.

per tu eksploruar.

Together, we envisage and enact a society

Sebashku kemi menduar dhe krijuar nje shoqeri

that understands and respects voice hearing,

qe i kupton dhe respekton te degjuarin e zerave,

supports the needs of individuals who hear voices,

dhe mbeshtet nevojat e individeve qe degjojne zera,

and which values them as full citizens.

dhe i vlereson si qytetare me te drejta te plota.

This type of society is not only possible,

Kjo lloj shoqerie jo vetem qe eshte e mundshme,

it's already on its way.

por eshte duke u formuar.

To paraphrase Chavez, once social change begins,

Per te parafrazuar Chavez, kur nje ndryshim social fillon,

it cannot be reversed.

ai nuk mund te kthehet mbrapsht.

You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride.

Ju nuk mund ta poshteroni njeriun qe ndien krenari.

You cannot oppress the people

Nuk mund ti shtypesh njerezit

who are not afraid anymore.

te cilet nuk jane me te frikesuar.

For me, the achievements of the Hearing Voices Movement

Per mua, arritjet e levizjes "Degjimi i Zerave"

are a reminder that empathy, fellowship,

jane nje kujtese qe ndjeshmeria, shoqeria,

justice and respect are more than words;

drejtesia dhe respekti jane me shume se fjale;

they are convictions and beliefs,

jane bindje dhe besim,

and that beliefs can change the world.

dhe se besimi ka fuqine e te ndryshuarit te botes.

In the last 20 years, the Hearing Voices Movement

Ne 20 vitet e fundit, levizja "Degjimi i Zerave"

has established hearing voices networks

ka krijuar nje rrjet

in 26 countries across five continents,

ne 26 vende ne pese kontinente,

working together to promote dignity, solidarity

qe punojne bashke per te promovuar dinjitet, solidaritet

and empowerment for individuals in mental distress,

dhe fuqizim te njerezve me shqetesime mendore,

to create a new language and practice of hope,

per te krijuar nje gjuhe te re dhe praktikim shprese,

which, at its very center, lies an unshakable belief

ku, ne qendren e se ciles, ndodhet nje besim i palekundur

in the power of the individual.

ne fuqine e individit.

As Peter Levine has said, the human animal

Sikunder ka thene Peter Levine, kafsha njeri

is a unique being

eshte nje qenie unike

endowed with an instinctual capacity to heal

e paisur me nje kapacitet instiktiv per tu sheruar

and the intellectual spirit to harness this innate capacity.

dhe me shpirtin intelektual per ta shfrytezuar kete kapacitet te lindur.

In this respect, for members of society,

Ne kete kuader, per anetaret e shoqerise,

there is no greater honor or privilege

nuk ka nder a privilegj me te madh

than facilitating that process of healing for someone,

sesa te shpejtosh kete proces sherimi tek dikush,

to bear witness, to reach out a hand,

te jesh deshmitar, te zgjasesh doren,

to share the burden of someone's suffering,

te ndash peshen e dhimbjes se dikujt,

and to hold the hope for their recovery.

dhe te mbash shpresen per permiresimin e tyre.

And likewise, for survivors of distress and adversity,

Dhe sikunder per mbijetuesit e situatave stresante dhe te veshtira,

that we remember we don't have to live our lives

ne nuk duhet ta jetojme jeten tone pergjithnje

forever defined by the damaging things that have happened to us.

te shenjuar nga gjerat e keqija dhe demshme qe na kane ngjare.

We are unique. We are irreplaceable.

Ne jemi unik. Jemi te pazëvendësueshëm.

What lies within us can never be truly colonized,

Ajo c'ka kemi perbrenda nuk mundet kurre te kolonizohet,

contorted, or taken away.

shtremberohet ose te na largohet.

The light never goes out.

Drita nuk fiket kurre.

As a very wonderful doctor once said to me,

Dhe si nje doktor i mrekullueshem me tha dikur,

"Don't tell me what other people have told you about yourself.

"Mos me thuaj se cfare kane thene te tjeret per ty.

Tell me about you."

Me thuaj ti rreth vetes."

Thank you.

Faleminderit.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)