Matthew O'Reilly: "Am I dying?" The honest answer.

Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Mile Živković

I've been a critical care EMT for the past seven years in Suffolk County, New York.

Poslednjih sedam godina sam medicinski tehničar

na intenzivnoj nezi u okrugu Safolk, Njujork.

I've been a first responder in a number of incidents

Bio sam prva osoba koja reaguje u brojnim slučajevima

ranging from car accidents to Hurricane Sandy.

od saobraćajnih nesreća do uragana Sendi.

If you are like most people, death might be

Ako ste kao većina ljudi, smrt je možda

one of your greatest fears.

jedan od vaših najvećih strahova.

Some of us will see it coming.

Neki od nas će znati kada da je očekuju.

Some of us won't.

Neki od nas neće.

There is a little-known documented medical term

Postoji manje poznati medicinski termin

called impending doom.

zvani neposredni kraj.

It's almost a symptom.

Gotovo da je simptom.

Kao medicinski radnik, obučen sam da reagujem

As a medical provider, I'm trained to respond

to this symptom like any other,

na ovaj simptom kao i bilo koji drugi,

so when a patient having a heart attack looks at me

tako da kada me pogleda pacijent koji ima srčani udar

and says, "I'm going to die today,"

i kaže: "Umreću danas",

we are trained to reevaluate the patient's condition.

obučeni smo da preispitamo stanje pacijenta.

Throughout my career, I have responded

Tokom moje karijere, odgovorio sam

to a number of incidents where the patient

na niz slučajeva gde su pacijentu

had minutes left to live

ostali minuti života

and there was nothing I could do for them.

i ništa nisam mogao da učinim za njih.

With this, I was faced with a dilemma:

Imajući to u vidu, bio sam suočen sa dilemom:

Do I tell the dying that they are about to face death,

da li da kažem umirućima da će se uskoro suočiti sa smrću,

or do I lie to them to comfort them?

ili da ih lažem da ih utešim?

Early in my career, I faced this dilemma

Na početku karijere, suočavao sam se sa ovom dilemom

by simply lying.

jednostavno laganjem.

I was afraid.

Bio sam uplašen.

I was afraid if I told them the truth,

Bio sam uplašen da ako im kažem istinu,

that they would die in terror, in fear,

da će umreti u užasu, u strahu,

just grasping for those last moments of life.

grabeći te poslednje trenutke života.

That all changed with one incident.

To se sve promenilo sa jednim događajem.

Five years ago, I responded to a motorcycle accident.

Pre pet godina, reagovao sam na saobraćajnu nesreću.

The rider had suffered critical, critical injuries.

Vozač motora je pretrpeo kritične, kritične povrede.

As I assessed him, I realized that there was nothing

Dok sam ga procenjivao, shvatio sam da se ništa

that could be done for him,

ne može učiniti za njega,

and like so many other cases, he looked me in the eye

i kao toliko drugih slučajeva, pogledao me je u oči

and asked that question: "Am I going to die?"

i postavio to pitanje: "Da li ću umreti?"

In that moment, I decided to do something different.

U tom trenutku, rešio sam da učinim nešto drugačije.

I decided to tell him the truth.

Odlučio sam da mu kažem istinu.

I decided to tell him that he was going to die

Odlučio sam da mu kažem da će umreti

and that there was nothing I could do for him.

i da ništa ne mogu da učinim za njega.

His reaction shocked me to this day.

Njegova reakcija me je ostavila u šoku do današnjeg dana.

He simply laid back and had a look

Prosto se opustio i imao je pogled

of acceptance on his face.

prihvatanja na svom licu.

He was not met with that terror or fear

Nije se susreo sa užasom niti strahom

that I thought he would be.

kao što sam ja očekivao.

He simply laid there, and as I looked into his eyes,

Prosto je ležao, i dok sam gledao u njegove oči,

I saw inner peace and acceptance.

video sam unutrašnji mir i prihvatanje.

From that moment forward, I decided

Od tog trenutka nadalje, rešio sam

it was not my place to comfort the dying with my lies.

da nije moje da tešim umiruće lažima.

Having responded to many cases since then

Odgovorivši na mnoge slučajeve od tada

where patients were in their last moments

gde su pacijenti bili u svojim poslednjim trenucima

and there was nothing I could do for them,

i nije bilo ničeg što bih mogao da učinim za njih,

in almost every case,

u skoro svakom slučaju,

they have all had the same reaction to the truth,

svi su imali istu reakciju na istinu,

of inner peace and acceptance.

unutrašnji mir i prihvatanje.

In fact, there are three patterns

Zapravo, postoje tri obrasca

I have observed in all these cases.

koje sam primetio u svim tim slučajevima.

The first pattern always kind of shocked me.

Prvi obrazac me je uvek nekako šokirao.

Regardless of religious belief or cultural background,

Bez obzira na religijska uverenja ili kulturnu pozadinu,

there's a need for forgiveness.

postoji potreba za oproštajem.

Whether they call it sin

Bilo da to zovu grehom

or they simply say they have a regret,

ili jednostavno kažu da se kaju,

their guilt is universal.

njihova krivica je univerzalna.

I had once cared for an elderly gentleman

Jednom sam se starao o starijem gospodinu

who was having a massive heart attack.

koji je imao snažan srčani udar.

As I prepared myself and my equipment

Dok sam pripremao sebe i svoju opremu

for his imminent cardiac arrest,

za njegov predstojeći srčani zastoj,

I began to tell the patient of his imminent demise.

počeo sam da govorim pacijentu o njegovoj bliskoj smrti.

He already knew by my tone of voice and body language.

Već je znao po tonu mog glasa i govoru tela.

As I placed the defibrillator pads on his chest,

Kako sam stavljao ploče defibrilatora na njegove grudi,

prepping for what was going to happen,

pripremajući se za ono što će se uskoro dogoditi,

he looked me in the eye and said,

pogledao me je u oči i rekao:

"I wish I had spent more time with my children and grandchildren

"Voleo bih da sam proveo više vremena sa mojom decom i unucima

instead of being selfish with my time."

umesto što sam bio sebičan sa svojim vremenom."

Faced with imminent death,

Suočen sa neposrednom smrću,

all he wanted was forgiveness.

sve što je želeo bio je oproštaj.

The second pattern I observe

Drugi obrazac koji sam primetio

is the need for remembrance.

je potreba za pamćenjem.

Whether it was to be remembered in my thoughts

Bilo da je to da bude upamćen u mojim mislima

or their loved ones', they needed to feel

ili svojih voljenih, bilo im je potrebno da osete

that they would be living on.

da će nastaviti da žive.

There's a need for immortality

Postoji potreba za besmrtnošću

within the hearts and thoughts of their loved ones,

u srcima i mislima njihovih voljenih,

myself, my crew, or anyone around.

mene, mog osoblja, ili bilo koga unaokolo.

Countless times, I have had a patient look me in the eyes

Bezbroj puta sam imao pacijenta koji me gleda u oči

and say, "Will you remember me?"

i kaže: "Hoćeš li me pamtiti?"

The final pattern I observe

Poslednji obrazac koji sam primetio

always touched me the deepest, to the soul.

uvek me je dirnuo najdublje u dušu.

The dying need to know that their life had meaning.

Umirućima je potrebno da znaju da je njihov život imao smisla.

They need to know that they did not waste their life

Potrebno im je da znaju da nisu protraćili svoj život

on meaningless tasks.

na beznačajne poslove.

This came to me very, very early in my career.

Ovo mi se desilo veoma, veoma rano u karijeri.

I had responded to a call.

Odgovorio sam na poziv.

There was a female in her late 50s

Žena u kasnim pedesetim

severely pinned within a vehicle.

bila je ozbiljno prikovana u vozilu.

She had been t-boned at a high rate of speed,

Drugi auto je udario u njen sa strane pri velikoj brzini,

critical, critical condition.

kritično, kritično stanje.

As the fire department worked to remove her from the car,

Dok su vatrogasci radili na tome da je izvuku iz auta,

I climbed in to begin to render care.

popeo sam se da počnem sa pružanjem nege.

As we talked, she had said to me,

Dok smo govorili, rekla mi je:

"There was so much more I wanted to do with my life."

"Bilo je toliko mnogo više toga što sam želela

da uradim sa svojim životom."

She had felt she had not left her mark on this Earth.

Osećala je da nije ostavila svoj trag na ovoj Zemlji.

As we talked further, it would turn out

Dok smo nastavili da govorimo, ispostavilo se

that she was a mother of two adopted children

da je ona majka dva usvojena deteta

who were both on their way to medical school.

koja su na putu da upišu medicinsku školu.

Because of her, two children

Zbog nje, dvoje dece

had a chance they never would have had otherwise

imalo je priliku koju inače ne bi imali

i nastaviće da spasavaju živote u medicinskom polju

and would go on to save lives in the medical field

as medical doctors.

kao doktori medicine.

It would end up taking 45 minutes

Trebalo je 45 minuta

to free her from the vehicle.

da je oslobode iz vozila.

However, she perished prior to freeing her.

Međutim, umrla je pre nego što je oslobođena.

I believed what you saw in the movies:

Verovao sam u ono što viđate u filmovima:

when you're in those last moments

kada ste u tim poslednjim trenucima

that it's strictly terror, fear.

da je tu isključivo užas, strah.

I have come to realize, regardless of the circumstance,

Shvatio sam, bez obzira na okolnosti,

it's generally met with peace and acceptance,

uglavnom je dočekana sa mirom i prihvatanjem,

that it's the littlest things, the littlest moments,

da su najmanje stvari, najmanji momenti,

the littlest things you brought into the world

najsitnije stvari koje si doneo na svet

that give you peace in those final moments.

one koje ti daju mir u tim poslednjim trenucima.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)