Matthew O'Reilly: "Am I dying?" The honest answer.

Prevoditelj: Senzos Osijek Recezent: Ivan Stamenković

I've been a critical care EMT for the past seven years in Suffolk County, New York.

Tehničar sam hitne pomoći proteklih sedam godina u Suffolk Country, New York.

I've been a first responder in a number of incidents

Bio sam prvi na mjestu brojnih nesreća

ranging from car accidents to Hurricane Sandy.

od automobilskih nesreća do uragana Sandy.

If you are like most people, death might be

Ako ste kao većina ljudi, smrt bi mogla biti

one of your greatest fears.

jedan od vaših najvećih strahova.

Some of us will see it coming.

Neki će biti spremni kada dođe.

Some of us won't.

A neki ne.

There is a little-known documented medical term

Postoji slabo poznat dokumentirani medicinski izraz

called impending doom.

koji se zove nadolazeća propast.

It's almost a symptom.

To je gotovo simptom.

As a medical provider, I'm trained to respond

Kao zdravstveni djelatnik, naučen sam reagirati

to this symptom like any other,

na ovaj simptom kao bilo koji drugi,

so when a patient having a heart attack looks at me

te kada pacijent ima srčani udar i gleda u mene

and says, "I'm going to die today,"

i kaže: „Umrijet ću danas.“,

we are trained to reevaluate the patient's condition.

obučeni smo ponovno razmotriti stanje pacijenta.

Throughout my career, I have responded

Tijekom moje karijere, odgovorio sam

to a number of incidents where the patient

na brojne nesreće u kojima su pacijentu

had minutes left to live

ostale samo minute života

and there was nothing I could do for them.

i ništa nisam mogao učiniti za njega.

With this, I was faced with a dilemma:

Uz to, bio sam suočen s dilemom:

Do I tell the dying that they are about to face death,

Trebam li reći umirućem da će uskoro umrijeti,

or do I lie to them to comfort them?

ili lagati kako bih ga utješio?

Early in my career, I faced this dilemma

U početku karijere, riješio sam dilemu

by simply lying.

tako što sam lagao.

I was afraid.

Bio sam uplašen.

I was afraid if I told them the truth,

Bio sam uplašen da ako im kažem istinu

that they would die in terror, in fear,

da će umrijeti u očaju, strahu,

just grasping for those last moments of life.

boreći se za preostale minute svoga života.

That all changed with one incident.

Sve se promijenilo nakon jedne nesreće.

Five years ago, I responded to a motorcycle accident.

Prije pet godina, odazvao sam se motociklističkoj nesreći.

The rider had suffered critical, critical injuries.

Vozač je pretrpio vrlo kritične ozljede.

As I assessed him, I realized that there was nothing

Dok sam ga pregledavao shvatio sam da ne postoji ništa

that could be done for him,

što mogu učiniti za njega,

and like so many other cases, he looked me in the eye

i kao u većini slučajeva, pogledao me u oči

and asked that question: "Am I going to die?"

i upitao ono pitanje: „Hoću li umrijeti?“

In that moment, I decided to do something different.

U tom trenutku, odlučio sam učiniti nešto drugačije.

I decided to tell him the truth.

Odlučio sam mu reći istinu.

I decided to tell him that he was going to die

Odlučio sam mu reći da će umrijeti

and that there was nothing I could do for him.

i da više ništa ne mogu učiniti za njega.

His reaction shocked me to this day.

Njegova reakcija me šokirala.

He simply laid back and had a look

On je ostao ležati i pogledao me

of acceptance on his face.

s prihvaćanjem na licu.

He was not met with that terror or fear

Nije očajavao niti se plašio

that I thought he would be.

kako sam ja mislio.

He simply laid there, and as I looked into his eyes,

Jednostavno je ležao i kada sam ga pogledao u oči

I saw inner peace and acceptance.

ugledao sam unutarnji mir i prihvaćanje.

From that moment forward, I decided

Od tog trenutka nadalje, odlučio sam

it was not my place to comfort the dying with my lies.

da nije na meni da tješim umiruće svojim lažima.

Having responded to many cases since then

Od tada sam sudjelovao u mnogo slučajeva

where patients were in their last moments

gdje su pacijenti proživljavali posljednje trenutke

and there was nothing I could do for them,

i nije postojalo ništa što sam mogao učiniti,

in almost every case,

u gotovo svakom slučaju

they have all had the same reaction to the truth,

svi su imali jednaku reakciju na istinu,

of inner peace and acceptance.

unutarnji mir i prihvaćanje.

In fact, there are three patterns

Zapravo postoje tri obrasca

I have observed in all these cases.

koja sam uočio u svim slučajevima.

The first pattern always kind of shocked me.

Prvi me obrazac uvijek zapanji.

Regardless of religious belief or cultural background,

Bez obzira na vjerska uvjerenja ili kulturnu podlogu

there's a need for forgiveness.

postoji potreba za praštanjem.

Whether they call it sin

Bilo da to zovu grijehom

or they simply say they have a regret,

ili samo kažu da se kaju,

their guilt is universal.

krivnja je univerzalna.

I had once cared for an elderly gentleman

Jednom sam se brinuo za starijeg gospodina

who was having a massive heart attack.

koji je imao masivan srčani udar.

As I prepared myself and my equipment

Dok sam pripremao sebe i opremu

for his imminent cardiac arrest,

za njegov predstojeći srčani udar,

I began to tell the patient of his imminent demise.

počeo sam pričati pacijentu o neizbježnoj smrti.

He already knew by my tone of voice and body language.

Odmah je znao po tonu moga glasa i ponašanju.

As I placed the defibrillator pads on his chest,

Kako sam postavljao defibrilator na njegova prsa,

prepping for what was going to happen,

pripremajući se za ono što će se dogoditi,

he looked me in the eye and said,

pogledao me u oči i rekao,

"I wish I had spent more time with my children and grandchildren

„Da sam barem proveo više vremena sa svojom djecom i unucima

instead of being selfish with my time."

umjesto što sam škrtario svojim vremenom.“

Faced with imminent death,

Suočen s neizbježnom smrću,

all he wanted was forgiveness.

sve što je želio bio je oprost.

The second pattern I observe

Drugi obrazac koji sam uočio

is the need for remembrance.

je potreba za sjećanjem.

Whether it was to be remembered in my thoughts

Bilo da je to uspomena u mojim mislima

or their loved ones', they needed to feel

ili njihovih voljenih, trebali su osjećaj

that they would be living on.

da će živjeti i dalje.

There's a need for immortality

Postoji potreba za besmrtnošću

within the hearts and thoughts of their loved ones,

u srcima i mslima njihovh voljenih,

myself, my crew, or anyone around.

mene, moje ekipe ili bilo koga.

Countless times, I have had a patient look me in the eyes

Bezbroj puta, imao sam pacijenta koji bi me pogledao u oči

and say, "Will you remember me?"

i rekao, „Hoćeš li me se sjećati?“

The final pattern I observe

Posljednji obrazac koji sam uočio

always touched me the deepest, to the soul.

uvijek me dirnuo najdublje, u dušu.

The dying need to know that their life had meaning.

Umirući ima potrebu znati da je njegov život imao smisao.

They need to know that they did not waste their life

Žele znati da nisu potrošili svoj život uzalud

on meaningless tasks.

na besmislice.

This came to me very, very early in my career.

Ovo mi se dogodilo vrlo rano u mojoj karijeri.

I had responded to a call.

Odgovorio sam na poziv.

There was a female in her late 50s

Bila je to žena u kasnim pedesetima

severely pinned within a vehicle.

ozbiljno priklještena u vozilu.

She had been t-boned at a high rate of speed,

Bila je udarena sa strane u velikoj brzini,

critical, critical condition.

vrlo kritično stanje.

As the fire department worked to remove her from the car,

Dok su vatrogasci pokušavali izvući ju iz auta,

I climbed in to begin to render care.

ušao sam unutra kako bih pružio pomoć.

As we talked, she had said to me,

Dok smo razgovarali, rekla mi je,

"There was so much more I wanted to do with my life."

„Toliko je toga što sam željela učiniti u životu.“

She had felt she had not left her mark on this Earth.

Osjećala se kao da nije ostavila traga na Zemlji.

As we talked further, it would turn out

Kako smo pričali dalje, ispostavilo se

that she was a mother of two adopted children

da je majka dvoje posvojene djece

who were both on their way to medical school.

koji su se pripremali za medicinski fakultet.

Because of her, two children

Zbog nje, dvoje djece

had a chance they never would have had otherwise

imlao je priliku koju ne bi imali inače

and would go on to save lives in the medical field

i nastavit će spašavati živote u zdravstvenom polju

as medical doctors.

kao doktori medicine.

It would end up taking 45 minutes

Bilo je potrebno 45 minuta

to free her from the vehicle.

da ju izvučemo iz vozila.

However, she perished prior to freeing her.

Ali ona je stradala prije nego što smo je izvukli.

I believed what you saw in the movies:

Vjerovao sam da ono što vidimo u filmovima:

when you're in those last moments

kada si u zadnjim trenutcima života

that it's strictly terror, fear.

postoje samo očaj i strah.

I have come to realize, regardless of the circumstance,

Došao sam do zaključka, da se bez obzira na okolnosti,

it's generally met with peace and acceptance,

općenito susrećemo s mirom i prihvaćanjem,

that it's the littlest things, the littlest moments,

da su najmanje stvari, najmanji trenutci,

the littlest things you brought into the world

najmanje stvari koje si učinio u životu

that give you peace in those final moments.

te koje nam donose mir u tim posljednjim trenutcima.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)