Matthew O'Reilly: "Am I dying?" The honest answer.

Translator: Nana Ginnerup Reviewer: Anders Finn Jørgensen

I've been a critical care EMT for the past seven years in Suffolk County, New York.

Jeg har været en ambulanceredder de sidste 7 år i Suffolk County, New York.

I've been a first responder in a number of incidents

Jeg har været først til stede i en række ulykker

ranging from car accidents to Hurricane Sandy.

fra bilulykker til orkanen Sandy.

If you are like most people, death might be

Er du som de fleste, er døden måske

one of your greatest fears.

noget af det, du frygter mest.

Some of us will see it coming.

Nogle af os vil se det komme.

Some of us won't.

Nogle af os vil ikke.

There is a little-known documented medical term

Der er et mindre kendt medicinsk udtryk

called impending doom.

kaldet "forestående undergang".

It's almost a symptom.

Det er næsten et symptom.

As a medical provider, I'm trained to respond

Som redder er jeg trænet til at reagere overfor symptomet

to this symptom like any other,

som ethvert andet.

so when a patient having a heart attack looks at me

Når en patient i et hjerteanfald

and says, "I'm going to die today,"

siger: "Jeg kommer til at dø i dag,"

we are trained to reevaluate the patient's condition.

er vi trænet til at revurdere patientens tilstand.

Throughout my career, I have responded

Gennem min karriere har jeg reageret

to a number of incidents where the patient

overfor en række situationer,

hvor patienten havde minutter tilbage at leve i,

had minutes left to live

and there was nothing I could do for them.

og der var intet, jeg kunne gøre for dem.

With this, I was faced with a dilemma:

Jeg var i et dilemma:

Do I tell the dying that they are about to face death,

Fortæller jeg den døende, at de snart skal stå til ansigt med døden,

or do I lie to them to comfort them?

eller lyver jeg, for at trøste dem?

Early in my career, I faced this dilemma

Tidligt i min karriere klarede jeg dilemmaet

by simply lying.

ved simpelthen at lyve.

I was afraid.

Jeg var bange.

Jeg var bange for, at hvis jeg fortalte dem sandheden,

I was afraid if I told them the truth,

that they would die in terror, in fear,

så ville de dø i rædsel, i frygt,

just grasping for those last moments of life.

mens de klamrede sig til de sidste øjeblikke af livet.

That all changed with one incident.

Det ændrede sig altsammen ved ét tilfælde.

Five years ago, I responded to a motorcycle accident.

For 5 år siden reagerede jeg på et motorcykeluheld.

The rider had suffered critical, critical injuries.

Motorcyklisten havde lidt kritiske, kritiske kvæstelser.

As I assessed him, I realized that there was nothing

Da jeg tilså ham, indså jeg,

at der var intet, der kunne gøres for ham,

that could be done for him,

and like so many other cases, he looked me in the eye

og som i så mange andre tilfælde, kiggede han mig ind i øjnene

and asked that question: "Am I going to die?"

og spurgte mig dét spørgsmål: "Kommer jeg til at dø?"

In that moment, I decided to do something different.

I det øjeblik besluttede jeg mig for at gøre noget anderledes.

I decided to tell him the truth.

Jeg besluttede mig for at fortælle ham sandheden.

I decided to tell him that he was going to die

Jeg besluttede mig for at fortælle ham, at han skulle dø,

and that there was nothing I could do for him.

og at der var intet, jeg kunne gøre for ham.

His reaction shocked me to this day.

Hans reaktion chokerede mig til den dag i dag.

He simply laid back and had a look

Han lagde sig simpelt hen tilbage

of acceptance on his face.

med et udtryk af accept i sit ansigt.

He was not met with that terror or fear

Han var ikke mødt med den terror eller frygt,

that I thought he would be.

som jeg troede, han ville.

He simply laid there, and as I looked into his eyes,

Han lå der bare; og da jeg så ham ind i hans øjne,

I saw inner peace and acceptance.

så jeg indre fred og accept.

From that moment forward, I decided

Fra det øjeblik, besluttede jeg,

it was not my place to comfort the dying with my lies.

at det ikke var mit job at trøste de døende med mine løgne.

Having responded to many cases since then

Efter at have reageret på mange ulykker siden hen ,

where patients were in their last moments

hvor patienter var i deres sidste øjeblikke,

and there was nothing I could do for them,

og der var intet, jeg kunne gøre for dem;

in almost every case,

i næsten hvert eneste tilfælde

they have all had the same reaction to the truth,

havde de den samme reaktion overfor sandheden

of inner peace and acceptance.

af indre fred og accept.

In fact, there are three patterns

Rent faktisk er der tre mønstre

I have observed in all these cases.

jeg har observeret i alle disse tilfælde.

The first pattern always kind of shocked me.

Det første mønster chokerede mig altid på en måde.

Regardless of religious belief or cultural background,

Uanset religiøs overbevisning eller kulturel baggrund,

there's a need for forgiveness.

er der et behov for tilgivelse.

Whether they call it sin

Om de kalder det synd

or they simply say they have a regret,

eller simpelt hen siger, at der er noget, de fortryder,

their guilt is universal.

så er deres skyld universel.

I had once cared for an elderly gentleman

En gang tog jeg mig af en ældre herre, der havde et voldsomt hjerteanfald

who was having a massive heart attack.

As I prepared myself and my equipment

Som jeg forberedte mig selv og mit udstyr

for his imminent cardiac arrest,

til hans forestående hjertestop,

I began to tell the patient of his imminent demise.

begyndte jeg at fortælle ham om hans forestående bortgang.

He already knew by my tone of voice and body language.

Han vidste det allerede ud fra min tone og kropssprog.

As I placed the defibrillator pads on his chest,

Som jeg placerede elektroderne på hans bryst

prepping for what was going to happen,

i forberedelse på, hvad der ville ske,

he looked me in the eye and said,

så han mig i øjnene og sagde: "Jeg ville ønske,

"I wish I had spent more time with my children and grandchildren

jeg havde tilbragt mere tid med mine børn og børnebørn,

instead of being selfish with my time."

i stedet for at være selvvisk med min tid."

Faced with imminent death,

Stående overfor en snarlig død,

all he wanted was forgiveness.

var alt han ønskede tilgivelse.

The second pattern I observe

Det andet mønster, jeg observerer,

is the need for remembrance.

er behovet for at blive husket.

Whether it was to be remembered in my thoughts

Om det var at blive husket af mig eller af deres kære

or their loved ones', they needed to feel

havde de behov for at føle,

that they would be living on.

at de ville leve videre.

There's a need for immortality

Der er et behov for uddødelighed

within the hearts and thoughts of their loved ones,

i hjerterne og tankerne hos deres elskede,

myself, my crew, or anyone around.

mig selv, mit hold, eller hvem som helst i nærheden.

Countless times, I have had a patient look me in the eyes

Utallige gange har en patient kigget mig i øjnene

and say, "Will you remember me?"

og sagt: "Vil du huske mig?"

The final pattern I observe

Det sidste mønster, jeg observerer,

always touched me the deepest, to the soul.

er det, der altid har rørt mig mest.

The dying need to know that their life had meaning.

Den døende har brug for at vide, at deres liv havde mening.

They need to know that they did not waste their life

De har brug for at vide, at de ikke spildte deres liv

on meaningless tasks.

på ligegyldige ting.

This came to me very, very early in my career.

Det kom til mig meget, meget tidligt i min karriere.

I had responded to a call.

Jeg havde reageret på et kald.

There was a female in her late 50s

En kvinde i slut 50'erne

severely pinned within a vehicle.

var alvorligt fastklemt i en bil.

She had been t-boned at a high rate of speed,

Hun var blevet ramt fra siden i høj hastighed.

critical, critical condition.

Kritisk, kritisk tilstand.

As the fire department worked to remove her from the car,

Som brandvæsenet arbejdede på at få hende ud af bilen,

I climbed in to begin to render care.

kravlede jeg ind for at tage mig af hende.

As we talked, she had said to me,

Da vi snakkede, havde hun det her at sige til mig:

"There was so much more I wanted to do with my life."

"Der var så meget mere, jeg havde lyst til at gøre med mit liv."

She had felt she had not left her mark on this Earth.

Hun følte, at hun ikke havde sat sit præg på denne Jord.

As we talked further, it would turn out

Da vi snakkede videre, viste det sig,

that she was a mother of two adopted children

at hun var mor til to adopterede børn,

who were both on their way to medical school.

som begge skulle til at studere medicin.

Because of her, two children

På grund af hende, havde to børn

had a chance they never would have had otherwise

en chance, de aldrig ville have haft ellers,

and would go on to save lives in the medical field

og de ville komme til at redde liv

as medical doctors.

som fuldt uddannede læger.

It would end up taking 45 minutes

Det endte med at tage 45 minutter

to free her from the vehicle.

at få hende ud af bilen.

However, she perished prior to freeing her.

Men hun var omkommet, inden hun blev befriet.

I believed what you saw in the movies:

Jeg troede på det, man ser i filmene:

when you're in those last moments

At i disse sidste øjeblikke

that it's strictly terror, fear.

er man i absolut terror, frygt.

I have come to realize, regardless of the circumstance,

Jeg har indset, at uanset omstændighederne,

it's generally met with peace and acceptance,

så er det generelt mødt med indre fred og accept;

that it's the littlest things, the littlest moments,

at det er de mindste ting, de mindste øjeblikke,

the littlest things you brought into the world

de mindste ting, man bragte ind i verden,

that give you peace in those final moments.

der bringer fred i disse afsluttende øjeblikke.

Thank you.

Tak

(Applause)