Matthew O'Reilly: "Am I dying?" The honest answer.

Translator: Matej Sykora Reviewer: Linda Magáthová

I've been a critical care EMT for the past seven years in Suffolk County, New York.

Už 7 rokov pôsobím ako záchranár v okrese Suffolk v štáte New York.

I've been a first responder in a number of incidents

Bol som prvý na mieste pri mnohých prípadoch -

ranging from car accidents to Hurricane Sandy.

od dopravných nehôd po hurikán Sandy.

If you are like most people, death might be

Pokiaľ ste ako väčšina ľudí, smrť môže byť

one of your greatest fears.

jednou z vašich najväčších obáv.

Some of us will see it coming.

Niektorí z nás budú vidieť ako prichádza.

Some of us won't.

Iní nie.

There is a little-known documented medical term

Existuje slabo zdokumentovaný lekársky termín

called impending doom.

nazvaný blížiaci sa koniec.

It's almost a symptom.

Je to takmer symptóm.

As a medical provider, I'm trained to respond

Ako záchranár som trénovaný

to this symptom like any other,

reagovať aj na tento symptóm.

so when a patient having a heart attack looks at me

Keď sa na mňa pozrie pacient s infarktom

and says, "I'm going to die today,"

a povie: „Dnes zomriem,“

we are trained to reevaluate the patient's condition.

sme naučení prehodnotiť stav pacienta.

Throughout my career, I have responded

Počas mojej kariéry som zasahoval

to a number of incidents where the patient

počas mnohých prípadov, kde pacientom

had minutes left to live

zostávali minúty života

and there was nothing I could do for them.

a neexistovalo nič, čo som pre nich mohol spraviť.

With this, I was faced with a dilemma:

Preto som sa ocitol pred dilemou:

Do I tell the dying that they are about to face death,

Poviem zomierajúcim, že onedlho budú tvárou v tvár smrti

or do I lie to them to comfort them?

alebo im zaklamem, aby som ich utešil?

Early in my career, I faced this dilemma

Na začiatku kariéry som sa postavil tejto dileme tak,

by simply lying.

že som jednoducho klamal.

I was afraid.

Bál som sa.

I was afraid if I told them the truth,

Bál som sa, že ak im poviem pravdu,

that they would die in terror, in fear,

tak zomrú v hrôze, v strachu,

just grasping for those last moments of life.

lapajúc po tých posledných chvíľach života.

That all changed with one incident.

To všetko sa zmenilo s jedným prípadom.

Five years ago, I responded to a motorcycle accident.

Pred piatimi rokmi som zasahoval pri nehode motorky.

The rider had suffered critical, critical injuries.

Vodič utrpel kritické zranenia.

As I assessed him, I realized that there was nothing

Ako som ho ošetroval, uvedomil som si,

that could be done for him,

že sa pre neho nedá nič spraviť.

and like so many other cases, he looked me in the eye

A tak, ako v mnohých iných prípadoch, pozrel sa mi do očí

and asked that question: "Am I going to die?"

a opýtal sa tú otázku: „Teraz zomriem?“

In that moment, I decided to do something different.

V tej chvíli som sa rozhodol spraviť niečo nezvyčajné.

I decided to tell him the truth.

Rozhodol som sa povedať mu pravdu.

I decided to tell him that he was going to die

Rozhodol som sa povedať mu, že teraz zomrie

and that there was nothing I could do for him.

a že nie je nič, čo môžem pre neho spraviť.

His reaction shocked me to this day.

Dodnes ma jeho reakcia šokuje.

He simply laid back and had a look

Pacient si jednoducho opäť ľahol

of acceptance on his face.

a mal v tvári výraz prijatia.

He was not met with that terror or fear

Nebol pohltený hrôzou a strachom,

that I thought he would be.

ako som si myslel, že bude.

He simply laid there, and as I looked into his eyes,

On tam len ležal – a ako som mu pozrel do očí –

I saw inner peace and acceptance.

videl som vnútorný pokoj a prijatie.

From that moment forward, I decided

Od tej chvíle som sa rozhodol,

it was not my place to comfort the dying with my lies.

že mojou úlohou nebolo upokojiť zomierajúcich mojimi klamstvami.

Having responded to many cases since then

Odvtedy som bol pri mnohých prípadoch,

where patients were in their last moments

kde pacienti prežívali svoje posledné chvíle

and there was nothing I could do for them,

a neexistovalo nič, čo by som pre nich mohol spraviť.

in almost every case,

Takmer v každom prípade

they have all had the same reaction to the truth,

všetci mali rovnakú reakciu na pravdu:

of inner peace and acceptance.

vnútorný pokoj a prijatie.

In fact, there are three patterns

V skutočnosti existujú tri vzory,

I have observed in all these cases.

ktoré som pozoroval vo všetkých týchto prípadoch.

The first pattern always kind of shocked me.

Prvý vzor ma vždy tak trochu šokoval.

Regardless of religious belief or cultural background,

Bez ohľadu na náboženstvo alebo kultúrne zázemie,

there's a need for forgiveness.

prejavuje sa potreba pre odpustenie.

Whether they call it sin

Či to nazývajú hriechom

or they simply say they have a regret,

alebo jednoducho povedia, že niečo ľutujú,

their guilt is universal.

ich pocit viny je univerzálny.

I had once cared for an elderly gentleman

Raz som ošetroval staršieho pána,

who was having a massive heart attack.

ktorý mal masívny infarkt.

As I prepared myself and my equipment

Ako som pripravoval seba a moje vybavenie

for his imminent cardiac arrest,

na hroziacu zástavu srdca,

I began to tell the patient of his imminent demise.

začal som tomu pacientovi hovoriť o jeho blížiacej sa smrti.

He already knew by my tone of voice and body language.

Už to vedel podľa tónu môjho hlasu a reči tela.

As I placed the defibrillator pads on his chest,

Ako som umiestňoval podložky defibrilátora na jeho hruď –

prepping for what was going to happen,

pripravujúc sa na to, čo malo prísť –

he looked me in the eye and said,

pozrel sa mi do očí a povedal:

"I wish I had spent more time with my children and grandchildren

„Kiežby som bol strávil viac času s mojimi deťmi a vnúčatami

instead of being selfish with my time."

a nebol som taký egocentrický.

Faced with imminent death,

Tvárou v tvár blízkej smrti,

all he wanted was forgiveness.

všetko, po čom túžil, bolo odpustenie.

The second pattern I observe

Druhý vzor, ktorý pozorujem

is the need for remembrance.

je potreba na zanechanie spomienky.

Whether it was to be remembered in my thoughts

Či ide o zapamätanie si v mojich myšlienkach

or their loved ones', they needed to feel

alebo myšlienkach ich blízkych,

that they would be living on.

potrebujú cítiť, že budú naďalej žiť.

There's a need for immortality

Existuje potreba nesmrteľnosti

within the hearts and thoughts of their loved ones,

v srdciach a myšlienkach ich milovaných,

myself, my crew, or anyone around.

mňa, mojej posádky alebo kohokoľvek okolo.

Countless times, I have had a patient look me in the eyes

Nespočetnekrát som mal pacienta, ktorý sa mi pozrel do očí

and say, "Will you remember me?"

a spýtal sa: „Zapamätáte si ma?“

The final pattern I observe

Posledný vzor, ktorý pozorujem,

always touched me the deepest, to the soul.

ma vždy zasiahol najhlbšie, do duše.

The dying need to know that their life had meaning.

Zomierajúci potrebujú vedieť, že ich život mal zmysel.

They need to know that they did not waste their life

Potrebujú vedieť, že nepremárnili svoj život

on meaningless tasks.

na nezmyselné úlohy.

This came to me very, very early in my career.

Toto sa mi stalo úplne na začiatku mojej kariéry.

I had responded to a call.

Zavolali nás k prípadu.

There was a female in her late 50s

Bola to žena, staršia pätdesiatnička,

severely pinned within a vehicle.

kriticky zakliesnená v aute.

She had been t-boned at a high rate of speed,

Vo veľkej rýchlosti sa bočne zrazili autá.

critical, critical condition.

Kritická, kritická situácia.

As the fire department worked to remove her from the car,

Kým sa ju požiarnici snažili dostať z auta,

I climbed in to begin to render care.

liezol som k nej, aby som jej poskytol pomoc.

As we talked, she had said to me,

Ako sme sa rozprávali, povedala mi:

"There was so much more I wanted to do with my life."

„Bolo toho tak veľa, čo som chcela urobiť so svojím životom.“

She had felt she had not left her mark on this Earth.

Cítila, že nezanechala na tejto zemi svoju stopu.

As we talked further, it would turn out

Ako sme sa ďalej rozprávali, vysvitlo,

that she was a mother of two adopted children

že bola matkou dvoch adoptovaných detí,

who were both on their way to medical school.

ktoré mali nastúpiť na lekársku fakultu.

Because of her, two children

Vďaka nej dostali dve deti

had a chance they never would have had otherwise

príležitosť, ktorú by inak nikdy nemali,

and would go on to save lives in the medical field

a vydali sa zachraňovať životy

as medical doctors.

ako doktori.

It would end up taking 45 minutes

Trvalo to 45 minút,

to free her from the vehicle.

kým ju dostali z toho auta.

However, she perished prior to freeing her.

Avšak zomrela pred jej vyslobodením.

I believed what you saw in the movies:

Myslím si, že ste to videli vo filmoch:

when you're in those last moments

počas tých posledných chvíľ

that it's strictly terror, fear.

je to len strach a hrôza.

I have come to realize, regardless of the circumstance,

Ja som si uvedomil, že odhliadnuc od okolností,

it's generally met with peace and acceptance,

je to vo všeobecnosti prijaté s pokojom a zmierením sa.

that it's the littlest things, the littlest moments,

Tie najmenšie veci, tie najmenšie momenty,

the littlest things you brought into the world

najmenšie veci, čo ste priniesli do tohto sveta

that give you peace in those final moments.

vám dodajú pokoj v tých posledných chvíľkach.

Thank you.

Ďakujem!

(Applause)

(Potlesk)