How to practice emotional first aid | Guy Winch | TED

Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Mile Živković

I grew up with my identical twin,

Odrastao sam sa svojim identičnim blizancem

who was an incredibly loving brother.

koji je izuzetan brat pun ljubavi.

Now, one thing about being a twin is,

Jedna od stvari kad si blizanac je da te to učini ekspertom

it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism.

za primećivanje favorizovanja.

If his cookie was even slightly bigger than my cookie,

Kad bi njegov kolač bio malčice veći od mog, postavljao bih pitanja.

I had questions.

A očigledno je da nisam gladovao.

And clearly, I wasn't starving.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism

Kada sam postao psiholog, počeo sam da primećujem drugu vrstu favorizovanja,

of a different kind;

and that is, how much more we value the body than we do the mind.

a to je koliko više vrednujemo telo od uma.

I spent nine years at university earning my doctorate in psychology,

Proveo sam devet godina na univerzitetu stičući svoj doktorat iz psihologije,

and I can't tell you how many people look at my business card and say,

i ne mogu da vam opišem koliko ljudi pogleda moju vizit kartu i kaže:

"Oh -- a psychologist. So, not a real doctor,"

"O, psiholog. Znači niste pravi doktor."

kao da bi to trebalo da piše na njoj.

as if it should say that on my card.

[Dr. Guy Winch, Just a Psychologist (Not a Real Doctor)]

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

This favoritism we show the body over the mind --

Ovo favorizovanje tela nad umom vidim svugde.

I see it everywhere.

I recently was at a friend's house,

Nedavno sam bio u kući jednog prijatelja,

and their five-year-old was getting ready for bed.

i njihov petogodišnjak se spremao za krevet.

He was standing on a stool by the sink, brushing his teeth,

Stajao je na stolici kraj lavaboa perući zube,

when he slipped and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell.

kada se okliznuo i ogrebao nogu o stolicu kada je pao.

He cried for a minute, but then he got back up,

Plakao je minut, ali onda je ponovo ustao,

got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of Band-Aids

vratio se na stolicu, i posegao za kutijom flastera da stavi jedan na posekotinu.

to put one on his cut.

Now, this kid could barely tie his shoelaces,

Ovo dete jedva da može da veže pertle,

but he knew you have to cover a cut so it doesn't become infected,

ali zna da treba da zaštitite posekotinu tako da se ne inficira,

and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day.

i da morate da se starate o zubima tako što ćete ih prati dva puta dnevno.

We all know how to maintain our physical health

Svi mi znamo kako da održavamo fizičko zdravlje

and how to practice dental hygiene, right?

i kako da obavljamo higijenu zuba, zar ne?

We've known it since we were five years old.

Znamo to od svoje pete godine.

But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health?

Ali šta znamo o održavanju našeg psihičkog zdravlja?

Pa, ništa.

Well, nothing.

What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene?

Čemu učimo našu decu u vezi sa emocionalnom higijenom?

Nothing.

Ničemu.

How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth

Kako to da provodimo više vremena brinući o svojim zubima

than we do our minds?

nego o svom umu.

Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to us

Zašto nam je fizičko zdravlje toliko važnije

od psihičkog zdravlja?

than our psychological health?

We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones,

Trpimo psihičke povrede čak i češće nego fizičke,

injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness.

povrede poput neuspeha ili odbacivanja i usamljenosti.

And they can also get worse if we ignore them,

A one se mogu i pogoršati ako ih ignorišemo,

and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways.

i mogu drastično uticati na naše živote.

And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniques

A ipak, iako postoje naučno dokazane tehnike

we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries,

koje možemo koristiti da tretiramo te psihičke povrede,

we don't.

mi to ne činimo.

It doesn't even occur to us that we should.

Čak nam ni ne pada na pamet da bi trebalo.

"Oh, you're feeling depressed? Just shake it off; it's all in your head."

"O, deprimiran si? Samo se trgni, sve je to u tvojoj glavi."

Možete li da zamislite da kažete to nekome sa slomljenom nogom:

Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg:

"Oh, just walk it off; it's all in your leg."

"O, samo se trgni, sve je to u tvojoj nozi."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

It is time we closed the gap

Vreme je da zatvorimo jaz između našeg fizičkog i psihičkog zdravlja.

between our physical and our psychological health.

It's time we made them more equal,

Vreme je da ih izjednačimo,

more like twins.

kao blizance.

Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist.

Kad smo već kod toga, moj brat je takođe psiholog.

So he's not a real doctor, either.

Tako da ni on nije pravi doktor.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

We didn't study together, though.

Nismo studirali zajedno, doduše.

In fact, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life

Zapravo, u životu mi je najteže bilo

da se preselim preko Atlantika u Njujork

is move across the Atlantic to New York City

to get my doctorate in psychology.

da bih stekao doktorat iz psihologije.

We were apart then for the first time in our lives,

Tada smo bili razdvojeni prvi put u životu,

and the separation was brutal for both of us.

i razdvojenost je bila grozna za obojicu.

But while he remained among family and friends,

Ali dok je on ostao sa porodicom i prijateljima,

I was alone in a new country.

ja sam bio sam u novoj zemlji.

We missed each other terribly,

Užasno smo nedostajali jedan drugom,

but international phone calls were really expensive then,

ali su međunarodni pozivi tada bili stvarno skupi

and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week.

i mogli smo da priuštimo da pričamo pet minuta nedeljno.

Kada je došao naš rođendan,

When our birthday rolled around,

it was the first we wouldn't be spending together.

bio je to prvi koji nećemo provesti zajedno.

We decided to splurge,

Odlučili smo da se razmećemo i te nedelje da pričamo 10 minuta.

and that week, we would talk for 10 minutes.

(Laughter)

I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call --

Proveo sam jutro koračajući po sobi, čekajući ga da pozove -

i čekao sam i čekao, ali telefon nije zvonio.

and waiting ...

and waiting.

But the phone didn't ring.

S obzirom na vremensku razliku, pretpostavio sam:

Given the time difference, I assumed,

"OK, he's out with friends, he'll call later."

"Okej, izašao je sa prijateljima, pozvaće kasnije."

There were no cell phones then.

Tada nije bilo mobilnih telefona.

But he didn't.

Ali nije zvao.

And I began to realize that after being away for over 10 months,

I počeo sam da shvatam da nakon razdvojenosti duže od 10 meseci,

he no longer missed me the way I missed him.

nisam mu više nedostajao koliko je on meni.

Znao sam da će pozvati ujutru,

I knew he would call in the morning,

ali ta noć je bila jedna od najtužnijih i najdužih noći u mom životu.

but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life.

I woke up the next morning.

Probudio sam se narednog jutra.

I glanced down at the phone,

Bacio sam pogled na telefon i shvatio sam da sam prevrnuo slušalicu

and I realized I had kicked it off the hook

when pacing the day before.

kada sam koračao prethodnog dana.

I stumbled out of bed,

Zateturao sam se iz kreveta,

I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later.

povezao sam telefon sa prijemnikom, i zazvonio je sekundu kasnije,

And it was my brother,

bio je to moj brat, i čoveče, koliko je bio ljut.

and boy, was he pissed.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well.

To je bila najtužnija i najduža noć i njegovog života.

Pokušao sam da objasnim šta se dogodilo, ali je rekao:

Now, I tried to explain what happened, but he said,

"I don't understand.

"Ne razumem. Ako si video da te ne zovem,

If you saw I wasn't calling you,

why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me?"

zašto nisi prosto podigao telefon i pozvao me?"

He was right.

Bio je u pravu. Zašto ga nisam pozvao?

Why didn't I call him?

I didn't have an answer then.

Nisam imao odgovor tada, ali ga imam danas,

But I do today,

i jednostavan je: usamljenost.

and it's a simple one:

loneliness.

Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound,

Usamljenost stvara duboku psihičku ranu

koja izopačuje naše opažanje i izokreće naše mišljenje.

one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.

Čini da verujemo da je onima oko nas mnogo manje stalo nego što jeste.

It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do.

Čini da smo uplašeni da posegnemo,

It make us really afraid to reach out,

because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache

jer zašto postaviti sebe za odbacivanje i lomljenje srca

kada vaše srce već boluje više nego što možete podneti?

when your heart is already aching more than you can stand?

I was in the grips of real loneliness back then,

Bio sam tada u kandžama prave usamljenosti,

but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.

ali sam bio okružen ljudima po ceo dan pa mi nikada nije palo na pamet.

But loneliness is defined purely subjectively.

Ali usamljenost se definiše potpuno subjektivno.

It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected

U potpunosti zavisi od toga da li se osećate

emotivno i socijalno isključeno od onih oko vas.

from those around you.

And I did.

A ja sam se tako osećao.

Postoji mnogo istraživanja o usamljenosti i sva su užasavajuća.

There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.

Loneliness won't just make you miserable;

Usamljenost vas neće samo učiniti nesrećnim, ubiće vas.

it will kill you.

I'm not kidding.

Ne šalim se.

Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death

Hronična usamljenost povećava verovatnoću rane smrti

by 14 percent.

za 14 posto.

Fourteen percent!

Loneliness causes high blood pressure,

Usamljenost prouzrokuje visok krvni pritisak, visok holesterol.

high cholesterol.

It even suppress the functioning of your immune system,

Može čak i da potisne funkcionisanje vašeg imunog sistema,

making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases.

čineći vas podložnim za razne bolesti i oboljenja.

In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together,

U stvari, naučnici su zaključili da opšte uzev,

chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk

hronična usamljenost predstavlja značajan rizik

for your long-term health and longevity

po vaše dugoročno zdravlje i dužinu života kao pušenje cigareta.

as cigarette smoking.

Now, cigarette packs come with warnings saying, "This could kill you."

Danas paklice cigareta imaju upozorenja koja kažu: "Ovo vas može ubiti."

But loneliness doesn't.

Ali usamljenost to nema.

And that's why it's so important

I zato je toliko važno da damo prioritet našem psihičkom zdravlju,

that we prioritize our psychological health,

da primenjujemo emocionalnu higijenu.

that we practice emotional hygiene.

Because you can't treat a psychological wound

Jer ne možete lečiti psihičku ranu

if you don't even know you're injured.

ako ni ne znate da ste povređeni.

Loneliness isn't the only psychological wound

Usamljenost nije jedina psihička rana

that distorts our perceptions and misleads us.

koja krivi našu percepciju i obmanjuje nas.

Failure does that as well.

Neuspeh to takođe čini.

I once visited a day care center,

Jednom sam posetio jaslice

where I saw three toddlers play with identical plastic toys.

gde sam video kako se tri deteta igraju identičnom plastičnom igračkom.

You had to slide the red button, and a cute doggie would pop out.

Treba da pomerite crveno dugme i iskače slatka kuca.

One little girl tried pulling the purple button, then pushing it,

Jedna devojčica je pokušala da vuče ljubičasto dugme, pa da ga gura,

and then she just sat back and looked at the box

a onda je samo sela i gledala kutiju, dok joj je drhtala donja usna.

with her lower lip trembling.

Dečak pokraj nje je to gledao,

The little boy next to her watched this happen,

then turned to his box and burst into tears without even touching it.

zatim se okrenuo ka svojoj kutiji i briznuo u plač a da je nije ni dodirnuo.

Meanwhile, another little girl tried everything she could think of

U međuvremenu, druga devojčica je probala sve čega se setila

until she slid the red button,

dok nije pomerila crveno dugme,

the cute doggie popped out, and she squealed with delight.

slatka kuca je iskočila i ona je sa oduševljenjem zacičala.

So: three toddlers with identical plastic toys,

Dakle, tri deteta sa identičnim plastičnim igračkama,

ali sa vrlo različitim reakcijama na neuspeh.

but with very different reactions to failure.

The first two toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding a red button.

Prva dva deteta su bila savršeno sposobna da pomere crveno dugme.

The only thing that prevented them from succeeding

Jedino što ih je sprečavalo da uspeju

was that their mind tricked them into believing they could not.

je to što ih je um prevario da poveruju da ne mogu.

Now, adults get tricked this way as well, all the time.

Odrasli takođe stalno bivaju prevareni na ovaj način.

Zapravo, svi mi imamo određeni skup osećanja i uverenja koji se aktivira

In fact, we all have a default set of feelings and beliefs

that gets triggered whenever we encounter frustrations and setbacks.

kad god naiđemo na frustracije i zastoje.

Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure?

Da li ste svesni toga kako vaš um reaguje na neuspeh?

You need to be.

Treba da budete.

Because if your mind tries to convince you you're incapable of something,

Jer ako um pokuša da vas ubedi da ste nesposobni za nešto

and you believe it,

i poverujete mu,

then like those two toddlers, you'll begin to feel helpless

tada ćete, kao ona dva deteta, početi da se osećate bespomoćno

and you'll stop trying too soon, or you won't even try at all.

i prerano ćete prestati da pokušavate, ili nećete uopšte ni pokušati.

And then you'll be even more convinced you can't succeed.

I tada ćete biti još ubeđeniji da ne možete uspeti.

You see, that's why so many people function below their actual potential.

Vidite, zato toliko ljudi funkcioniše ispod svog stvarnog potencijala.

Because somewhere along the way, sometimes a single failure

Jer negde usput, nekad ih je samo jedan neuspeh

convinced them that they couldn't succeed, and they believed it.

ubedio da ne mogu uspeti i oni su u to poverovali.

Jednom kada postanemo ubeđeni u nešto, vrlo je teško da se predomislimo.

Once we become convinced of something, it's very difficult to change our mind.

I learned that lesson the hard way when I was a teenager with my brother.

Naučio sam tu lekciju na teži način, kada sam bio tinejdžer, sa svojim bratom.

We were driving with friends down a dark road at night,

Vozili smo se sa prijateljima noću po mračnom putu,

when a police car stopped us.

kada nas je zaustavio policijski auto.

There had been a robbery in the area and they were looking for suspects.

Desila se pljačka u okolini i tražili su osumnjičene.

The officer approached the car, and shined his flashlight on the driver,

Policajac je prišao automobilu i osvetlio vozača svojom lampom,

then on my brother in the front seat,

zatim mog brata na prednjem sedištu, pa onda mene.

and then on me.

And his eyes opened wide and he said,

Oči su mu se raširile i pitao je:

"Gde sam pre video tvoje lice?"

"Where have I seen your face before?"

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

And I said,

Rekao sam: "Na prednjem sedištu."

"In the front seat."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But that made no sense to him whatsoever,

Ali to za njega nije imalo smisla.

so now he thought I was on drugs.

Mislio je da sam na drogama.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So he drags me out of the car, he searches me,

Izvukao me je iz auta, pretresao me,

he marches me over to the police car,

odveo me do policijskog auta,

and only when he verified I didn't have a police record,

i tek kada je potvrdio da nemam policijski dosije,

mogao sam da mu pokažem da imam blizanca koji je na prednjem sedištu.

could I show him I had a twin in the front seat.

But even as we were driving away,

Ali čak i dok smo odlazili, moglo se videti po izrazu njegovog lica

you could see by the look on his face he was convinced

da je ubeđen da sam kriv za nešto.

that I was getting away with something.

(Laughter)

Naše mišljenje je teško promeniti kada postanemo ubeđeni.

Our mind is hard to change once we become convinced.

So it might be very natural to feel demoralized

Zato može biti prirodno osećati se demoralisano i poraženo nakon neuspeha.

and defeated after you fail.

But you cannot allow yourself to become convinced you can't succeed.

Ali ne možete dozvoliti sebi da postanete ubeđeni da ne možete uspeti.

You have to fight feelings of helplessness.

Morate da se borite protiv osećanja bespomoćnosti.

Morate da preuzmete kontrolu nad situacijom.

You have to gain control over the situation.

And you have to break this kind of negative cycle

I morate da prekinete takav negativan krug pre nego što otpočne.

before it begins.

[Stop Emotional Bleeding]

Our minds and our feelings --

Naš um i naša osećanja

they're not the trustworthy friends we thought they were.

nisu tako pouzdani prijatelji kao što smo mislili.

They're more like a really moody friend,

Oni su više kao ćudljivi prijatelji,

who can be totally supportive one minute, and really unpleasant the next.

koji mogu biti potpuno podržavajući jednog trenutka,

a već sledećeg zaista neprijatni.

Jednom sam radio sa ženom

I once worked with this woman who, after 20 years marriage

koja je, nakon 20 godina braka i izuzetno ružnog razvoda,

and an extremely ugly divorce,

konačno bila spremna za prvi sastanak.

was finally ready for her first date.

She had met this guy online,

Upoznala je nekog tipa na internetu, delovao je fino i uspešno,

and he seemed nice and he seemed successful,

i što je najvažnije, izgledalo je da je zainteresovan za nju.

and most importantly, he seemed really into her.

So she was very excited, she bought a new dress,

Bila je vrlo uzbuđena, kupila je novu haljinu,

and they met at an upscale New York City bar for a drink.

i našli su se u skupljem baru u Njujorku na piću.

Ten minutes into the date, the man stands up and says,

Deset minuta od početka sastanka, čovek je ustao i rekao:

"I'm not interested," and walks out.

"Nisam zainteresovan" i izašao je napolje.

Rejection is extremely painful.

Odbijanje je izuzetno bolno.

The woman was so hurt she couldn't move.

Žena je bila toliko povređena da nije mogla da se pomeri.

All she could do was call a friend.

Mogla je samo da pozove prijatelja.

Here's what the friend said: "Well, what do you expect?

Evo šta je prijatelj rekao: "Pa, šta očekuješ?

You have big hips, you have nothing interesting to say.

Imaš široke kukove, nemaš ništa zanimljivo da kažeš,

Why would a handsome, successful man like that

zašto bi takav zgodan, uspešan muškarac

ikada izašao sa gubitnicom kao što si ti?"

ever go out with a loser like you?"

Šokatno, zar ne, da prijatelj može biti tako okrutan?

Shocking, right, that a friend could be so cruel?

But it would be much less shocking

Ali bilo bi manje šokantno

kada bih vam rekao da to nije rekao prijatelj.

if I told you it wasn't the friend who said that.

It's what the woman said to herself.

To je ono što je žena rekla samoj sebi.

And that's something we all do,

A to je nešto što svi mi radimo, naročito nakon odbijanja.

especially after a rejection.

We all start thinking of all our faults and all our shortcomings,

Počinjemo da razmišljamo o svim našim manama i nedostacima,

what we wish we were, what we wish we weren't.

šta bismo želeli da smo, šta bismo želeli da nismo,

We call ourselves names.

vređamo sami sebe.

Maybe not as harshly, but we all do it.

Možda ne tako oštro, ali svi mi to radimo.

And it's interesting that we do,

Zanimljivo je to što radimo, jer naše samopoštovanje već pati.

because our self-esteem is already hurting.

Why would we want to go and damage it even further?

Zašto želimo da ga još više povređujemo?

We wouldn't make a physical injury worse on purpose.

Fizičku povredu ne bismo namerno pogoršali.

You wouldn't get a cut on your arm and decide, "Oh! I know --

Ne biste zadobili posekotinu na ruci i odlučili: "O, znam!

I'm going to take a knife and see how much deeper I can make it."

Uzeću nož da vidim koliko mogu da je produbim."

But we do that with psychological injuries all the time.

Ali to radimo stalno sa psihičkim povredama.

Why? Because of poor emotional hygiene.

Zašto? Zbog slabe emocionalne higijene.

Because we don't prioritize our psychological health.

Jer ne dajemo prioritet našem psihičkom zdravlju.

We know from dozens of studies that when your self-esteem is lower,

Iz gomile studija saznajemo da, kada vam je samopoštovanje niže,

you are more vulnerable to stress and to anxiety;

podložniji ste stresu i anksioznosti,

that failures and rejections hurt more,

neuspesi i odbijanja više bole i treba više vremena za oporavljanje od njih.

and it takes longer to recover from them.

So when you get rejected, the first thing you should be doing

Tako da, kada ste odbijeni, prvo što treba da radite

is to revive your self-esteem,

jeste da povratite svoje samopoštovanje,

not join Fight Club and beat it into a pulp.

ne da se priključite Borilačkom klubu i pretvorite ga u kašu.

Kada preživljavate emotivni bol,

When you're in emotional pain,

treat yourself with the same compassion

tretirajte sebe sa istim saosećanjem koje biste očekivali od dobrog prijatelja.

you would expect from a truly good friend.

[Protect Your Self-Esteem]

We have to catch our unhealthy psychological habits and change them.

Treba da uhvatimo naše nezdrave psihičke navike i menjamo ih.

And one of unhealthiest and most common is called rumination.

Jedna od najnezdravijih i najčešćih naziva se ruminacija.

To ruminate means to chew over.

Ruminirati znači preživati.

It's when your boss yells at you

To je kada vaš šef viče na vas,

or your professor makes you feel stupid in class,

ili vaš profesor učini da se osećate glupo na času,

or you have big fight with a friend

ili se strašno posvađate sa prijateljem

and you just can't stop replaying the scene in your head for days,

i ne možete danima da prestanete da ponavljate tu scenu u glavi,

sometimes for weeks on end.

nekada i nedeljama uzastopno.

Ruminacija uznemirujućih događaja tako može lako postati navika,

Now, ruminating about upsetting events in this way can easily become a habit,

and it's a very costly one,

i to vrlo skupa.

because by spending so much time focused on upsetting and negative thoughts,

Jer trošeći toliko vremena sa fokusom na uznemirujuće i negativne misli,

zapravo stavljate sebe pod značajan rizik

you are actually putting yourself at significant risk

za razvijanje kliničke depresije, alkoholizma, poremećaja ishrane,

for developing clinical depression,

alcoholism,

eating disorders,

and even cardiovascular disease.

čak i kardiovaskularnih oboljenja.

The problem is,

Problem je to što impuls za ruminacijom može delovati kao vrlo jak i važan,

the urge to ruminate can feel really strong and really important,

so it's a difficult habit to stop.

tako da ju je teško zaustaviti.

I know this for a fact,

Dobro mi je ovo poznato, jer pre nešto više od godinu dana,

because a little over a year ago, I developed the habit myself.

i sam sam razvio tu naviku.

You see, my twin brother was diagnosed with stage 3 non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Vidite, mom bratu je dijagnostikovan treći stadijum Ne-Hodžkinove bolesti.

His cancer was extremely aggressive.

Njegov rak je bio izuzetno agresivan.

He had visible tumors all over his body.

Imao je vidljive tumore po celom telu.

And he had to start a harsh course of chemotherapy.

Morao je da započne sa teškom hemoterapijom.

And I couldn't stop thinking about what he was going through.

A ja nisam mogao da prestanem da mislim o tome kroz šta on prolazi.

I couldn't stop thinking about how much he was suffering,

Nisam mogao da prestanem da mislim o tome koliko on pati,

iako se nikada nije žalio, nijednom.

even though he never complained, not once.

He had this incredibly positive attitude.

Imao je neverovatno pozitivan stav.

Njegovo psihičko zdravlje je bilo neverovatno.

His psychological health was amazing.

I was physically healthy, but psychologically, I was a mess.

Ja sam fizički bio zdrav, ali sam psihički bio u haosu.

Ali sam znao šta da radim.

But I knew what to do.

Studies tell us that even a two-minute distraction is sufficient

Istraživanja kažu da je čak i dva minuta odvraćanja pažnje dovoljno

za prekidanje impulsa za ruminacijom u tom trenutku.

to break the urge to ruminate in that moment.

Tako da svaki put kada sam imao

And so each time I had a worrying, upsetting, negative thought,

zabrinjavajuću, uznemirujuću, negativnu pomisao,

I forced myself to concentrate on something else until the urge passed.

primorao bih sebe da se koncentrišem na nešto drugo dok impuls ne prođe.

And within one week, my whole outlook changed

Za nedelju dana, čitava moja perspektiva se izmenila

and became more positive and more hopeful.

i postala pozitivnija i ispunjenija nadom.

[Battle Negative Thinking]

Nine weeks after he started chemotherapy, my brother had a CAT scan,

Devet nedelja nakon što je počeo sa hemoterapijom,

mom bratu je urađeno snimanje rendgenom

and I was by his side when he got the results.

i bio sam kraj njega kada je dobio rezultate.

All the tumors were gone.

Svi tumori su nestali.

He still had three more rounds of chemotherapy to go,

Imao je pred sobom još tri ture terapije,

but we knew he would recover.

ali smo znali da će se oporaviti.

This picture was taken two weeks ago.

Ova slika je nastala pre dve nedelje.

By taking action when you're lonely,

Preduzimanjem mera kada ste usamljeni,

by changing your responses to failure,

menjanjem svojih odgovora na neuspeh,

by protecting your self-esteem,

štiteći svoje samopoštovanje,

by battling negative thinking,

boreći se sa negativnim razmišljanjem,

you won't just heal your psychological wounds,

nećete samo zalečiti svoje psihičke rane,

izgradićete emocionalnu otpornost, razvijaćete se.

you will build emotional resilience,

you will thrive.

A hundred years ago, people began practicing personal hygiene,

Pre sto godina, ljudi su počeli da primenjuju ličnu higijenu,

i stopa očekivanog životnog veka se povećala za preko 50 procenata

and life expectancy rates rose by over 50 percent

in just a matter of decades.

za samo nekoliko decenija.

I believe our quality of life could rise just as dramatically

Verujem da bi se naš kvalitet života mogao isto tako dramatično povećati

ako svi počnemo da primenjujemo emocionalnu higijenu.

if we all began practicing emotional hygiene.

Možete li da zamislite kakav bi svet bio

Can you imagine what the world would be like

kada bi svi bili psihološki zdraviji?

if everyone was psychologically healthier?

If there were less loneliness and less depression?

Kada bi bilo manje usamljenosti i depresije?

If people knew how to overcome failure?

Kada bi ljudi znali kako da prevaziđu neuspeh?

If they felt better about themselves and more empowered?

Kada bi se osećali bolje u svojoj koži i osnaženije?

If they were happier and more fulfilled?

Kada bi bili srećniji i ispunjeniji?

I can, because that's the world I want to live in.

Ja mogu, jer je to svet u kome želim da živim,

i to je svet u kome i moj brat želi da živi.

And that's the world my brother wants to live in as well.

And if you just become informed and change a few simple habits, well --

Ako se samo informišete i promenite nekoliko jednostavnih navika,

pa, to je svet u kome svi možemo živeti.

that's the world we can all live in.

Hvala vam mnogo.

Thank you very much.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)