How to practice emotional first aid | Guy Winch | TED

Translator: Abigail Wiriaatmadja Reviewer: Lanny Yunita

I grew up with my identical twin,

Saya tumbuh bersama kembar identik saya,

who was an incredibly loving brother.

dia adalah saudara yang penuh kasih.

Now, one thing about being a twin is,

Sebagai anak kembar, biasanya akan mudah sekali

it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism.

mengenali sikap pilih kasih.

If his cookie was even slightly bigger than my cookie,

Apabila biskuitnya agak lebih besar dari saya, saya bertanya-tanya.

I had questions.

Dan tampak jelas di sini, saya tidak pernah kelaparan.

And clearly, I wasn't starving.

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism

Ketika menjadi seorang psikolog, saya mengenali sikap pilih kasih lain,

of a different kind;

and that is, how much more we value the body than we do the mind.

yaitu perhatian lebih terhadap tubuh dan bukannya pikiran.

I spent nine years at university earning my doctorate in psychology,

Saya belajar 9 tahun di universitas untuk memperoleh gelar doktor psikologi,

and I can't tell you how many people look at my business card and say,

namun banyak orang yang melihat kartu nama saya lalu berkata,

"Oh -- a psychologist. So, not a real doctor,"

"Oh, psikolog. Jadi bukan dokter sungguhan,"

yang seharusnya tercantum pada kartu nama saya.

as if it should say that on my card.

[Dr. Guy Winch, Just a Psychologist (Not a Real Doctor)]

(Tertawa)

(Laughter)

This favoritism we show the body over the mind --

Sikap pilih kasih terhadap tubuh ini bisa saya lihat di mana-mana.

I see it everywhere.

I recently was at a friend's house,

Baru-baru ini saya ke rumah teman,

and their five-year-old was getting ready for bed.

dan anak mereka yang berusia 5 tahun sedang bersiap tidur.

He was standing on a stool by the sink, brushing his teeth,

Dia berdiri di atas kursi dekat wastafel, menggosok giginya,

when he slipped and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell.

lalu tergelincir dan kakinya terkena kursi ketika jatuh.

He cried for a minute, but then he got back up,

Dia menangis sebentar, namun kemudian bangkit,

got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of Band-Aids

naik ke kursi dan mengambil plester untuk dipakaikan pada lukanya.

to put one on his cut.

Now, this kid could barely tie his shoelaces,

Anak ini bahkan belum bisa mengikat tali sepatunya,

but he knew you have to cover a cut so it doesn't become infected,

namun dia tahu bahwa luka harus ditutup agar tidak terkena infeksi,

and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day.

dan kita juga harus merawat gigi dengan gosok gigi dua kali sehari.

We all know how to maintain our physical health

Kita semua tahu cara menjaga kesehatan fisik,

and how to practice dental hygiene, right?

dan kesehatan mulut kita, bukan?

We've known it since we were five years old.

Kita sudah tahu sejak kita berusia lima tahun.

But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health?

Namun apa yang kita ketahui tentang memelihara kesehatan psikologis?

Tidak ada sama sekali.

Well, nothing.

What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene?

Apa yang kita ajarkan pada anak kita tentang higiene emosional?

Nothing.

Tidak ada.

How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth

Mengapa kita menghabiskan lebih banyak waktu merawat gigi kita,

than we do our minds?

tapi tidak pikiran kita?

Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to us

Mengapa kesehatan fisik kita lebih penting bagi kita

daripada kesehatan psikologis kita?

than our psychological health?

We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones,

Kita mengalami luka psikologis jauh lebih sering daripada luka fisik,

injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness.

luka seperti rasa gagal, penolakan, atau pun rasa kesepian.

And they can also get worse if we ignore them,

Luka itu juga semakin parah bila kita mengabaikannya,

and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways.

dan luka tersebut berdampak terhadap hidup kita secara dramatis.

And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniques

Walaupun ada teknik yang secara ilmiah teruji,

we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries,

dan dapat kita gunakan untuk mengatasi luka psikologis semacam ini,

we don't.

kita tidak melakukannya.

It doesn't even occur to us that we should.

Bahkan tidak terpikir bahwa kita perlu melakukannya.

"Oh, you're feeling depressed? Just shake it off; it's all in your head."

"Oh, kau merasa depresi? Sudah lupakan, semua hanya dalam pikiranmu saja."

Bagaimana jika mengatakan hal yang sama kepada seseorang yang kakinya patah:

Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg:

"Oh, just walk it off; it's all in your leg."

"Oh, dibawa jalan saja, semua hanya di kakimu saja."

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

It is time we closed the gap

Sudah waktunya kita mengakhiri kesenjangan antara kesehatan fisik dan psikologis.

between our physical and our psychological health.

It's time we made them more equal,

Sudah waktunya kita membuat keduanya setara,

more like twins.

seperti kembar.

Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist.

Saudara kandung saya juga seorang psikolog.

So he's not a real doctor, either.

Jadi dia juga bukan dokter sungguhan.

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

We didn't study together, though.

Namun, kami tidak belajar bersama-sama.

In fact, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life

Hal tersulit yang pernah saya lakukan dalam hidup

adalah pindah melintas Atlantik ke New York City

is move across the Atlantic to New York City

to get my doctorate in psychology.

untuk memperoleh gelar doktor saya di bidang psikologi.

We were apart then for the first time in our lives,

Saat itu kami berpisah untuk pertama kalinya dalam hidup kami,

and the separation was brutal for both of us.

dan perpisahan tersebut sangatlah berat bagi kami berdua.

But while he remained among family and friends,

Dia tetap dekat dengan keluarga dan kerabat,

I was alone in a new country.

saya seorang diri di sebuah negara asing.

We missed each other terribly,

Kita merasa saling kehilangan,

but international phone calls were really expensive then,

namun telepon internasional masih sangat mahal saat itu,

and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week.

dan kita hanya bisa berbicara lima menit per minggu.

Ketika ulang tahun kami tiba,

When our birthday rolled around,

it was the first we wouldn't be spending together.

itu pertama kalinya kami tidak merayakannya bersama.

We decided to splurge,

Lalu kami hendak merayakannya dan berbincang di telepon selama 10 menit.

and that week, we would talk for 10 minutes.

(Laughter)

I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call --

Sepanjang pagi saya mondar-mandir di kamar, menunggu teleponnya --

saya menunggu, namun telepon tetap belum berbunyi.

and waiting ...

and waiting.

But the phone didn't ring.

Mengingat perbedaan waktu, saya mengira,

Given the time difference, I assumed,

"OK, he's out with friends, he'll call later."

"Mungkin dia keluar dengan teman, dan akan menelepon nanti."

There were no cell phones then.

Saat itu belum ada telepon seluler.

But he didn't.

Namun dia tidak menelepon.

And I began to realize that after being away for over 10 months,

Dan saya mulai sadar, sesudah berpisah selama 10 bulan,

he no longer missed me the way I missed him.

dia tidak lagi kehilangan saya, namun saya masih kehilangan dia.

Saya tahu dia akan telepon besoknya,

I knew he would call in the morning,

namun malam itu adalah malam tersedih dan terpanjang dalam hidup saya.

but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life.

I woke up the next morning.

Saya bangun keesokan harinya.

I glanced down at the phone,

Saya memandang telepon, ternyata saya menendangnya sampai terlepas

and I realized I had kicked it off the hook

when pacing the day before.

dari sambungan, saat malamnya mondar-mandir.

I stumbled out of bed,

Saya loncat dari tempat tidur,

I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later.

mengembalikan telepon, sedetik kemudian telepon berbunyi,

And it was my brother,

saudara saya menelepon, dan dia sangat marah.

and boy, was he pissed.

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well.

Semalam merupakan malam tersedih dan terpanjang baginya juga.

Saya berusaha menjelaskan, tapi dia berkata,

Now, I tried to explain what happened, but he said,

"I don't understand.

"Aku bingung. Kalau tahu aku tidak menelepon,

If you saw I wasn't calling you,

why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me?"

kenapa kau tidak mengangkat telepon dan menelepon aku?"

He was right.

Dia benar sekali. Mengapa saya tidak menelepon dia?

Why didn't I call him?

I didn't have an answer then.

Saat itu, saya tidak tahu jawabannya, namun saya tahu sekarang,

But I do today,

jawabannya sederhana: rasa kesepian.

and it's a simple one:

loneliness.

Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound,

Rasa kesepian menciptakan luka psikologis yang mendalam,

yang merusak persepsi kita dan mengacaukan pemikiran kita.

one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.

Kepedulian orang sekitar jadi terasa kurang, walau sebenarnya tidak.

It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do.

Kita menjadi takut untuk mengulurkan tangan,

It make us really afraid to reach out,

because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache

karena merasa, mengapa membuka diri terhadap penolakan dan sakit hati,

jika hati kita sudah terluka melebihi kekuatan kita?

when your heart is already aching more than you can stand?

I was in the grips of real loneliness back then,

Saat itu saya dirundung rasa kesepian yang sangat nyata,

but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.

yang tak terpikirkan karena saya dikelilingi banyak orang sepanjang hari.

But loneliness is defined purely subjectively.

Namun rasa kesepian itu didefinisikan dengan sangat subyektif.

It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected

Tergantung, apakah Anda

merasa terputus secara emosional mau pun sosial dari orang di sekitar Anda.

from those around you.

And I did.

Dan saya merasa demikian.

Ada banyak riset tentang rasa kesepian, semua hasilnya mengerikan.

There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.

Loneliness won't just make you miserable;

Rasa kesepian bukan hanya akan membuat Anda sedih, namun dapat membunuh Anda.

it will kill you.

I'm not kidding.

Saya tidak main-main.

Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death

Rasa kesepian kronis meningkatkan kemungkinan kematian dini

by 14 percent.

sebanyak 14 persen.

Fourteen percent!

Loneliness causes high blood pressure,

Rasa kesepian mengakibatkan tekanan darah tinggi, kolesterol tinggi.

high cholesterol.

It even suppress the functioning of your immune system,

Bahkan menekan fungsi sistem imun Anda,

making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases.

sehingga Anda rentan terhadap berbagai penyakit.

In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together,

Bahkan, ilmuwan menyimpulkan bahwa,

chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk

rasa kesepian kronis menimbulkan risiko signifikan yang sama terhadap

for your long-term health and longevity

kesehatan jangka panjang dan umur panjang, seperti halnya rokok.

as cigarette smoking.

Now, cigarette packs come with warnings saying, "This could kill you."

Sekotak rokok disertai peringatan, "Rokok dapat membunuh Anda."

But loneliness doesn't.

Tidak demikian dengan rasa kesepian.

And that's why it's so important

Oleh karena itu, memprioritaskan kesehatan psikologis sangatlah penting,

that we prioritize our psychological health,

agar kita terbiasa dengan higiene emosional.

that we practice emotional hygiene.

Because you can't treat a psychological wound

Karena Anda tidak dapat mengobati luka psikologis,

if you don't even know you're injured.

jika tidak tahu bahwa Anda telah terluka.

Loneliness isn't the only psychological wound

Rasa kesepian bukanlah satu-satunya luka psikologis

that distorts our perceptions and misleads us.

yang merusak persepsi kita dan menyesatkan kita.

Failure does that as well.

Kegagalan juga memiliki dampak yang sama.

I once visited a day care center,

Saya pernah mengunjungi tempat penitipan anak,

where I saw three toddlers play with identical plastic toys.

ada tiga anak batita bermain mainan plastik yang mirip.

You had to slide the red button, and a cute doggie would pop out.

Jika tombol merah pada mainan digeser, seekor anjing mainan akan keluar.

One little girl tried pulling the purple button, then pushing it,

Satu gadis kecil berusaha menarik tombol ungu, lalu menariknya,

and then she just sat back and looked at the box

kemudian terduduk memandangi kotak dengan bibir bawah bergetar.

with her lower lip trembling.

Anak lelaki di sebelahnya menyaksikan hal ini,

The little boy next to her watched this happen,

then turned to his box and burst into tears without even touching it.

lalu dia memandangi kotaknya sendiri dan menangis tiba-tiba.

Meanwhile, another little girl tried everything she could think of

Sementara itu, gadis kecil lainnya berusaha keras,

until she slid the red button,

dan akhirnya menggeser tombol merah,

the cute doggie popped out, and she squealed with delight.

boneka anjingnya loncat keluar, dan dia berteriak girang.

So: three toddlers with identical plastic toys,

Tiga anak batita dengan mainan plastik yang mirip,

memiliki reaksi berbeda terhadap kegagalan.

but with very different reactions to failure.

The first two toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding a red button.

Dua anak batita pertama sebenarnya mampu untuk menggeser tombol merah.

The only thing that prevented them from succeeding

Satu-satunya hal yang mencegah kesuksesan mereka

was that their mind tricked them into believing they could not.

adalah bahwa otak mereka membuat mereka berpikir bahwa mereka tak bisa.

Now, adults get tricked this way as well, all the time.

Orang dewasa juga dapat tertipu seperti ini, sepanjang waktu.

Bahkan, kita memiliki satu set perasaan dan kepercayaan yang terpicu

In fact, we all have a default set of feelings and beliefs

that gets triggered whenever we encounter frustrations and setbacks.

kapan pun kita mengalami frustrasi dan kemunduran.

Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure?

Bagaimana pikiran bereaksi terhadap kegagalan?

You need to be.

Anda perlu tahu.

Because if your mind tries to convince you you're incapable of something,

Karena jika pikiran berusaha meyakinkan bahwa Anda tidak mampu,

and you believe it,

dan Anda memercayainya,

then like those two toddlers, you'll begin to feel helpless

maka seperti kedua anak batita itu, Anda mulai merasa tidak berdaya,

and you'll stop trying too soon, or you won't even try at all.

dan Anda akan berhenti berusaha atau bahkan tidak akan berusaha.

And then you'll be even more convinced you can't succeed.

Kemudian Anda akan semakin yakin bahwa Anda tidak dapat sukses.

You see, that's why so many people function below their actual potential.

Itulah mengapa banyak orang berada dalam keadaan di bawah potensinya.

Because somewhere along the way, sometimes a single failure

Karena terkadang satu kegagalan saja

convinced them that they couldn't succeed, and they believed it.

meyakinkan bahwa mereka tidak akan sukses, dan mereka memercayainya.

Sekali kita yakin akan sesuatu, sangatlah sulit mengubah pemikiran kita.

Once we become convinced of something, it's very difficult to change our mind.

I learned that lesson the hard way when I was a teenager with my brother.

Saya belajar ini dengan cara yang keras, saat remaja bersama kembar saya.

We were driving with friends down a dark road at night,

Kita sedang berkendara dengan teman melalui jalan gelap di malam hari,

when a police car stopped us.

lalu polisi menghentikan kami.

Di wilayah itu telah terjadi perampokan dan mereka mencari si tersangka.

There had been a robbery in the area and they were looking for suspects.

The officer approached the car, and shined his flashlight on the driver,

Polisi menghampiri mobil kami, dan menyorot pengemudi dengan senter,

then on my brother in the front seat,

kemudian kepada kembar saya di kursi depan, lalu kepada saya.

and then on me.

And his eyes opened wide and he said,

Matanya membesar dan dia berkata,

"Di mana aku lihat wajahmu sebelumnya?"

"Where have I seen your face before?"

(Tertawa)

(Laughter)

And I said,

Saya berkata, "Di kursi depan."

"In the front seat."

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

But that made no sense to him whatsoever,

Namun hal ini sama sekali tidak masuk akal baginya.

so now he thought I was on drugs.

Jadi dia kira, saya di bawah pengaruh obat.

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

So he drags me out of the car, he searches me,

Lalu dia menarik saya keluar mobil, menggeledah saya,

he marches me over to the police car,

mengawal saya ke mobil polisi,

and only when he verified I didn't have a police record,

dan sesudah dia yakin, saya tak memiliki catatan kejahatan,

saya dapat menunjukkan padanya bahwa kembar saya duduk di kursi depan.

could I show him I had a twin in the front seat.

But even as we were driving away,

Namun bahkan saat kami pergi, raut wajahnya menunjukkan,

you could see by the look on his face he was convinced

bahwa dia yakin saya lolos melakukan sesuatu tanpa tertangkap.

that I was getting away with something.

(Laughter)

Sekali kita yakin akan sesuatu, sulit bagi pikiran kita untuk berubah.

Our mind is hard to change once we become convinced.

So it might be very natural to feel demoralized

Jadi sangatlah alami jika merasa terpukul dan kalah sesudah gagal.

and defeated after you fail.

But you cannot allow yourself to become convinced you can't succeed.

Namun jangan biarkan pikiran diyakinkan bahwa Anda tak akan sukses.

You have to fight feelings of helplessness.

Anda harus berjuang melawan perasaan tidak berdaya.

Anda harus mengambil kendali terhadap situasi.

You have to gain control over the situation.

And you have to break this kind of negative cycle

Dan Anda harus memutuskan siklus negatif ini sebelum terlambat.

before it begins.

[Stop Emotional Bleeding]

Our minds and our feelings --

Pikiran dan perasaan kita,

they're not the trustworthy friends we thought they were.

bukanlah teman terpercaya sebagaimana yang kita kira.

They're more like a really moody friend,

Hanya seperti teman dengan suasana hati berubah-ubah,

who can be totally supportive one minute, and really unpleasant the next.

yang suatu saat sangat mendukung, dan saat lain tidak menyenangkan.

Saya pernah bekerja dengan seorang wanita

I once worked with this woman who, after 20 years marriage

yang sesudah 20 tahun pernikahan dan perceraian yang sangat berat,

and an extremely ugly divorce,

akhirnya siap untuk berkencan untuk pertama kalinya.

was finally ready for her first date.

She had met this guy online,

Dia bertemu seseorang di dunia maya, lelaki yang tampak baik dan sukses,

and he seemed nice and he seemed successful,

dan yang terpenting, tampak sangat tertarik padanya.

and most importantly, he seemed really into her.

So she was very excited, she bought a new dress,

Jadi dia sangat bersemangat, membeli sebuah gaun baru,

and they met at an upscale New York City bar for a drink.

dan mereka bertemu di bar kelas atas New York untuk minum.

Ten minutes into the date, the man stands up and says,

Sepuluh menit berlalu, si lelaki berdiri dan berkata,

"I'm not interested," and walks out.

"Saya tidak tertarik," lalu pergi.

Rejection is extremely painful.

Penolakan sangatlah menyakitkan.

The woman was so hurt she couldn't move.

Si wanita sangat terluka sampai terdiam. Dia menelepon seorang teman.

All she could do was call a friend.

Here's what the friend said: "Well, what do you expect?

Ini yang dikatakan temannya: "Ya, apa lagi yang kau harapkan?

You have big hips, you have nothing interesting to say.

Pinggulmu besar, perbincanganmu tidak menarik,

Why would a handsome, successful man like that

mengapa seseorang yang tampan dan sukses seperti dia

mau berkencan dengan seorang pecundang seperti kau?"

ever go out with a loser like you?"

Mengejutkan, seorang teman berkata kasar seperti itu?

Shocking, right, that a friend could be so cruel?

But it would be much less shocking

Namun, hal ini tidak akan mengejutkan,

jika bukan temannya yang mengatakannya.

if I told you it wasn't the friend who said that.

It's what the woman said to herself.

Itulah yang dikatakan wanita itu pada dirinya sendiri.

And that's something we all do,

Dan itulah yang kita semua lakukan, terutama sesudah penolakan.

especially after a rejection.

We all start thinking of all our faults and all our shortcomings,

Kita langsung memikirkan semua kesalahan dan kekurangan kita,

what we wish we were, what we wish we weren't.

hal yang kita inginkan, yang tidak kita inginkan,

We call ourselves names.

kita mengatai diri sendiri.

Maybe not as harshly, but we all do it.

Mungkin tidak sekasar itu, namun kita semua melakukannya.

And it's interesting that we do,

Mengapa kita masih melakukannya jika harga diri kita sudah sakit?

because our self-esteem is already hurting.

Why would we want to go and damage it even further?

Mengapa kita justru semakin menyakitinya?

We wouldn't make a physical injury worse on purpose.

Kita tak akan sengaja membuat luka fisik lebih parah.

You wouldn't get a cut on your arm and decide, "Oh! I know --

Ketika lengan terluka, Anda tidak akan berkata, "Oh, aku tahu!

I'm going to take a knife and see how much deeper I can make it."

Aku akan mengambil pisau dan membuat luka ini lebih dalam."

But we do that with psychological injuries all the time.

Namun kita selalu saja melakukan hal ini terhadap luka psikologis kita.

Why? Because of poor emotional hygiene.

Mengapa? Karena higiene emosional kita yang buruk.

Because we don't prioritize our psychological health.

Karena kita tidak memprioritaskan kesehatan psikologis.

We know from dozens of studies that when your self-esteem is lower,

Banyak riset mengatakan bahwa saat harga diri sedang rendah,

you are more vulnerable to stress and to anxiety;

Anda akan lebih rentan terhadap stres dan kegelisahan,

that failures and rejections hurt more,

kegagalan dan penolakan lebih sakit dan lebih lama sembuh.

and it takes longer to recover from them.

So when you get rejected, the first thing you should be doing

Jadi ketika tertolak, hal pertama yang seharusnya Anda lakukan

is to revive your self-esteem,

adalah membangkitkan harga diri Anda, bukan memukulnya sampai babak belur.

not join Fight Club and beat it into a pulp.

Ketika Anda merasa sakit secara emosional,

When you're in emotional pain,

treat yourself with the same compassion

perlakukan diri Anda dengan rasa kasih yang sama seperti dari seorang teman baik.

you would expect from a truly good friend.

[Protect Your Self-Esteem]

We have to catch our unhealthy psychological habits and change them.

Kita harus menangkap kebiasaan psikologis yang buruk dan mengubahnya.

And one of unhealthiest and most common is called rumination.

Salah satu yang paling tidak sehat dan paling umum dinamakan ruminasi.

To ruminate means to chew over.

Ruminasi adalah mengunyah ulang.

It's when your boss yells at you

Yaitu ketika atasan meneriaki Anda, atau dosen membuat Anda merasa bodoh,

or your professor makes you feel stupid in class,

or you have big fight with a friend

atau Anda berkelahi dengan seorang teman,

and you just can't stop replaying the scene in your head for days,

dan Anda tidak dapat berhenti mengulangi kejadian itu dari benak Anda berhari-hari,

sometimes for weeks on end.

terkadang berminggu-minggu.

Mengulang kejadian yang menjengkelkan seperti ini dengan mudah menjadi kebiasaan,

Now, ruminating about upsetting events in this way can easily become a habit,

and it's a very costly one,

kebiasaan yang sangat mahal.

because by spending so much time focused on upsetting and negative thoughts,

Karena dengan menghabiskan waktu fokus pada pikiran buruk yang negatif,

Anda sedang menempatkan diri pada risiko besar

you are actually putting yourself at significant risk

untuk mengembangkan depresi klinis, alkoholisme, gangguan makan,

for developing clinical depression,

alcoholism,

eating disorders,

and even cardiovascular disease.

bahkan penyakit kardiovaskular.

The problem is,

Masalahnya adalah keinginan untuk ruminasi ini terasa sangat kuat,

the urge to ruminate can feel really strong and really important,

so it's a difficult habit to stop.

sehingga menjadi kebiasaan yang sulit dihentikan.

I know this for a fact,

Saya tahu pasti, karena sekitar setahun lalu,

because a little over a year ago, I developed the habit myself.

saya sendiri mengembangkan kebiasaan ini.

You see, my twin brother was diagnosed with stage 3 non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Saudara kembar saya didiagnosis dengan limfoma non-Hodgkin stadium III.

His cancer was extremely aggressive.

Kankernya sangat agresif.

He had visible tumors all over his body.

Dia memiliki tumor yang tampak di seluruh tubuhnya.

And he had to start a harsh course of chemotherapy.

Dan dia harus memulai serangkaian kemoterapi yang berat.

And I couldn't stop thinking about what he was going through.

Dan saya tidak dapat berhenti memikirkan apa yang sedang dialaminya.

I couldn't stop thinking about how much he was suffering,

Saya tidak dapat berhenti memikirkan betapa menderitanya dia,

walaupun dia tidak pernah sekali pun mengeluh.

even though he never complained, not once.

He had this incredibly positive attitude.

Dia memiliki sikap yang luar biasa positif.

Kesehatan psikologisnya luar biasa.

His psychological health was amazing.

I was physically healthy, but psychologically, I was a mess.

Saya sehat secara fisik, namun secara psikologis saya sangat berantakan.

Namun saya tahu apa yang harus saya lakukan.

But I knew what to do.

Studies tell us that even a two-minute distraction is sufficient

Riset menunjukkan bahwa pengalihan perhatian bahkan selama dua menit saja,

cukup untuk memutuskan keinginan untuk merenung pada saat itu.

to break the urge to ruminate in that moment.

Jadi setiap saat saya mulai khawatir, berpikiran buruk, dan negatif,

And so each time I had a worrying, upsetting, negative thought,

I forced myself to concentrate on something else until the urge passed.

saya memaksa diri untuk konsentrasi pada hal lain sampai dorongan itu hilang.

And within one week, my whole outlook changed

Dan dalam waktu satu minggu, seluruh cara pandang saya berubah,

and became more positive and more hopeful.

dan menjadi lebih positif, dan berpengharapan.

[Battle Negative Thinking]

Nine weeks after he started chemotherapy, my brother had a CAT scan,

Sembilan minggu sesudah memulai kemoterapi, dia menjalani CAT scan,

dan saya berada di sisinya ketika dia memperoleh hasilnya.

and I was by his side when he got the results.

All the tumors were gone.

Semua tumor telah hilang.

He still had three more rounds of chemotherapy to go,

Dia masih harus menjalani tiga putaran kemoterapi,

but we knew he would recover.

namun kita tahu bahwa dia akan sembuh.

This picture was taken two weeks ago.

Foto ini diambil dua minggu lalu.

By taking action when you're lonely,

Dengan mengambil tindakan saat Anda sedang merasa kesepian,

by changing your responses to failure,

dengan mengubah respons Anda terhadap kegagalan,

by protecting your self-esteem,

dengan melindungi harga diri Anda,

by battling negative thinking,

dengan melawan pemikiran negatif,

you won't just heal your psychological wounds,

Anda bukan saja menyembuhkan luka psikologis Anda,

Anda akan membangun ketahanan emosional, Anda akan maju.

you will build emotional resilience,

you will thrive.

A hundred years ago, people began practicing personal hygiene,

Seratus tahun lalu, orang mulai menerapkan higiene pribadi,

dan tingkat harapan hidup meningkat sebanyak lebih dari 50 persen,

and life expectancy rates rose by over 50 percent

in just a matter of decades.

hanya dalam beberapa dekade.

I believe our quality of life could rise just as dramatically

Saya percaya kualitas hidup kita dapat meningkat secara dramatis,

jika kita semua mulai menerapkan higiene emosional.

if we all began practicing emotional hygiene.

Bayangkan bagaimana dunia ini,

Can you imagine what the world would be like

apabila semua orang lebih sehat secara psikologis?

if everyone was psychologically healthier?

If there were less loneliness and less depression?

Apabila rasa kesepian dan depresi berkurang?

If people knew how to overcome failure?

Apabila orang tahu cara mengatasi kegagalan?

If they felt better about themselves and more empowered?

Bila mereka merasa lebih baik dan lebih berdaya tentang dirinya?

If they were happier and more fulfilled?

Apabila mereka lebih bahagia dan terpenuhi?

I can, because that's the world I want to live in.

Saya dapat membayangkannya, karena itulah dunia yang ingin saya tinggali,

dan itulah dunia yang ingin ditinggali saudara saya juga.

And that's the world my brother wants to live in as well.

And if you just become informed and change a few simple habits, well --

Dan apabila Anda tahu serta mengubah beberapa kebiasaan kecil,

itulah dunia yang bisa ditinggali semua orang.

that's the world we can all live in.

Terima kasih banyak.

Thank you very much.

(Applause)

(Tepuk tangan)