Success, failure and the drive to keep creating | Elizabeth Gilbert

Translator: Eva Hoxha Reviewer: Helena Bedalli

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport

Disa vjet me pare isha ne aeroportin JFK te New Jorkut

about to get on a flight,

ne momentet para se te nisesha

when I was approached by two women

mu afruan dy gra

who I do not think would be insulted

te cilat nuk mendoj se do te fyheshin

to hear themselves described

nese degjonin se i pershkruaja

as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

si plaka te vogla italo-amerikane me nje te folur te serte.

The taller one, who is like up here,

Ajo qe ishte me e gjata, afersisht kaq,

she comes marching up to me, and she goes,

erdhi duke marshuar ne drejtimin tim, dhe filloi,

"Honey, I gotta ask you something.

"Zemer, duhet te te pyes per dicka.

You got something to do with that whole

A ke gje te besh me te gjithe kete

'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

"Ha, Lutu, Dashuro" qe po ndodh se fundmi?"

And I said, "Yes, I did."

Dhe une i thashe, "Po"

And she smacks her friend and she goes,

Ajo ia beri me shenje shoqes se saj dhe filloi

"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.

"E sheh, te thashe qe eshte ajo vajza.

That's that girl who wrote that book

Ajo vajza qe shkruajti ate librin

based on that movie."

qe bazohet tek ai filmi."

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

So that's who I am.

Kjo jam une tani.

And believe me, I'm extremely grateful to be that person,

Dhe me besoni, jam shume mirenjohese qe jam ai person,

because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing

sepse me ka ecur shume

was a huge break for me.

me "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro".

But it also left me in a really tricky position

Por me la ne nje pozicion delikat gjithashtu

moving forward as an author

ne ecjen perpara si autore

trying to figure out how in the world

perpiqesha te kuptoja sesi do te arrija

I was ever going to write a book again

do te shkruaja perseri nje liber

that would ever please anybody,

qe do t'i kenaqte te gjithe,

because I knew well in advance

sepse e dija me siguri

that all of those people who had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"

se te gjithe ata njerez qe kishin adhuruar "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

were going to be incredibly disappointed

do te ishin shume te zhgenjyer

in whatever I wrote next

ne cfaredo qe une do te shkruaja me pas

because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"

sepse nuk do te ishte "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

and all of those people who had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"

dhe te gjithe ata njerez qe e urryen "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

were going to be incredibly disappointed

do te ishin shume te zhgenjyer

in whatever I wrote next

ne cfaredo qe une shkruaja me pas

because it would provide evidence that I still lived.

sepse do ti jepte prova se une jetoja akoma.

So I knew that I had no way to win,

Keshtu qe e dija se nuk kisha asnje menyre qe te fitoja,

and knowing that I had no way to win

dhe duke e ditur qe nuk kisha asnje menyre per te fituar

made me seriously consider for a while

me beri te konsideroja seriozisht per ca kohe

just quitting the game

te hiqja dore

and moving to the country to raise corgis.

dhe te levizja ne fshat e te rrisja qen 'Corgi'.

But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,

Por nese do ta beja kete, nese do te hiqja dore se shkruari,

I would have lost my beloved vocation,

do te humbisja prirjen time qe e dua kaq shume,

so I knew that the task was that I had to find

keshtu qe e dija se qellimi ishte te gjeja

some way to gin up the inspiration

nje menyre per t'u inspiruar

to write the next book

per te shkruar librin tjeter

regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.

pavaresisht ketyre rezultateve te pashmangshme negative.

In other words, I had to find a way to make sure

Me fjale te tjera, duhet te gjeja nje menyre per te siguruar

that my creativity survived its own success.

se kreativiteti i mbijetonte suksesit te tij.

And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,

Dhe ne fund e bera, e gjeta inspirimin,

but I found it in the most unlikely

por e gjeta ne vendin me te pamundur

and unexpected place.

dhe me te papritur.

I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life

E gjeta ne nje mesim qe e kisha mesuar me heret ne jete

about how creativity can survive its own failure.

sesi kreativiteti mund t'i mbijetoje deshtimit te tij.

So just to back up and explain,

Keshtu qe thjesht u ktheva pas dhe shpjegova,

the only thing I have ever wanted to be

se e vetmja gje qe doja

for my whole life was a writer.

gjate gjithe jetes time, ishte te isha shkrimtare.

I wrote all through childhood, all through adolescence,

Kam shkruar gjate gjithe femijerise dhe gjate gjithe adoleshences.

by the time I was a teenager I was sending

Kur u bera adoleshente fillova t'i dergoj

my very bad stories to The New Yorker,

tregimet e mia te shemtuara te The New Yorker,

hoping to be discovered.

duke shpresuar qe te zbulohesha.

After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,

Pas kolegjit, fillova nje pune si kamariere restoranti,

kept working, kept writing,

dhe punoja, vazhdoja te shkruaja,

kept trying really hard to get published,

perpiqesha shume te publikohesha,

and failing at it.

dhe deshtoja ne kete gje.

I failed at getting published

Deshtova ne te publikuar

for almost six years.

per rreth 6 vjet.

So for almost six years, every single day,

Keshtu qe per 6 vjet, cdo dite,

I had nothing but rejection letters

nuk kisha asgje pervecse letra refuzimi

waiting for me in my mailbox.

ne kutine time postare.

And it was devastating every single time,

Dhe cdo here ishte shkaterruese,

and every single time, I had to ask myself

dhe cdo here, me duhej te pyesja veten

if I should just quit while I was behind

a duhej te hiqja dore sa isha akoma ne kohe,

and give up and spare myself this pain.

te hiqja dore dhe t'ia kurseja vetes te gjithe ate dhimbje.

But then I would find my resolve,

Por me pas do te gjeja zgjidhjen,

and always in the same way,

dhe gjithmone ne te njejten menyre,

by saying, "I'm not going to quit,

duke thene, "nuk kam per te hequr dore,

I'm going home."

do te shkoj ne shtepi."

And you have to understand that for me,

Dhe duhet te kuptoni qe per mua

going home did not mean returning to my family's farm.

te shkoja ne shtepi nuk do te thoshte te kthehesha tek familja ime ne ferme.

For me, going home

Per mua, te shkoja ne shtepi

meant returning to the work of writing

do te thoshte t'i kthehesha punes per te shkruar,

because writing was my home,

sepse te shkruarit ishte shtepia ime,

because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing,

sepse e dashuroja te shkruarit me shume se sa urreja te deshtoja ne te shkruar,

which is to say that I loved writing

qe do te thote qe dashuroja te shkruaja

more than I loved my own ego,

me shume sesa e doja egon time,

which is ultimately to say

qe ne fund te fundit eshte per te thene

that I loved writing more than I loved myself.

se e doja te shkruarin me shume sesa doja veten time.

And that's how I pushed through it.

Keshtu qe kjo eshte sesi vazhdoi me tej.

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,

Por gjeja e cuditshme eshte se 20 vjet me pas,

during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"

gjate periudhes se cmendur "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

I found myself identifying all over again

e gjeta veten te identifikohesha perseri

with that unpublished young diner waitress

me ate kamarieren e re dhe te papublikuar

who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,

qe isha me pare, te mendoja per te ne menyre te vazhdueshme,

and feeling like I was her again,

dhe ndihesha se isha ajo perseri,

which made no rational sense whatsoever

qe ne fakt nuk ishte nje gjykim racional

because our lives could not have been more different.

sepse jetet tona ishin kaq te ndryshme.

She had failed constantly.

Ajo kishte deshtuar ne menyre te vazhdueshme.

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.

Une kisha pastur sukses me shume se cfare prisja te arrija.

We had nothing in common.

Ne nuk kishim asgje te perbashket.

Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

Por perse ndihesha sikur isha ajo perseri?

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that

Dhe ishte vetem atehere kur po perpiqesha te hiqja dore,

that I finally began to comprehend

ku me ne fund fillova te kuptoj

the strange and unlikely psychological connection

lidhjen e cuditshme dhe psikologjikisht te pamundur ne jeten tone

in our lives between the way we experience great failure

ndermjet menyres sesi e perjetojme deshtimin e madh

and the way we experience great success.

dhe menyren sesi perjetojme suksesin e madh.

So think of it like this:

Mendojeni ne kete menyre:

For most of your life, you live out your existence

Per pjesen me te madhe te jetes suaj, ti jetove ekzistencen tende

here in the middle of the chain of human experience

ketu, ne mes te zinxhirit te eksperiences njerezore

where everything is normal and reassuring and regular,

ku cdo gje eshte normale, e siguruar dhe e rregullt,

but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here

por deshtimi te hedh befasisht shume larg mu ketu

into the blinding darkness of disappointment.

ne erresiren verbuese te zhgenjimit.

Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far

Suksesi te perpin po aq befasisht

way out over here

po aq larg mu ketu

into the equally blinding glare

ne te njejten vezullim verbues

of fame and recognition and praise.

te fames, te vleresimit dhe te njohjes.

And one of these fates

Dhe nje nga keto fate

is objectively seen by the world as bad,

shikohet objektivisht nga bota si e keqe,

and the other one is objectively seen by the world as good,

dhe tjetri shikohet ne menyre objektive nga bota si i mire,

but your subconscious is completely incapable

por nendergjegja jote eshte plotesisht e paafte

of discerning the difference between bad and good.

te beje dallimin ndermjet te mires dhe te keqes.

The only thing that it is capable of feeling

E vetmja gje qe eshte ne gjendje te ndjeje

is the absolute value of this emotional equation,

eshte vlera absolute e ketij ekuacioni emocional,

the exact distance that you have been flung

distanca ekzakte qe ti je larguar

from yourself.

nga vetja.

And there's a real equal danger in both cases

Dhe eshte nje rrezik i njejte ne te dyja rastet

of getting lost out there

ne te humburin atje jashte

in the hinterlands of the psyche.

ne humbetiren e psikikes.

But in both cases, it turns out that there is

Por ne te dyja rastet, del se atje eshte

also the same remedy for self-restoration,

i njejti sherim per vete-permiresim,

and that is that you have got to find your way back home again

dhe kjo eshte ajo qe ju duhet te gjeni rrugen per ne shtepi

as swiftly and smoothly as you can,

ne menyren me te bute dhe te qete qe te mundeni,

and if you're wondering what your home is,

dhe nese po pyesni se cila eshte shtepia jote,

here's a hint:

po ju jap nje ide:

Your home is whatever in this world you love

Shtepia juaj eshte cfaredo ne bote qe ju doni

more than you love yourself.

me shume se sa doni veten.

So that might be creativity, it might be family,

Kjo mund te jete kreativiteti, mund te jete familja,

it might be invention, adventure,

mund te jene shpikjet, aventurat,

faith, service, it might be raising corgis,

besimi, sherbimi, mund te jete rritja e qenve 'Corgi',

I don't know, your home is that thing

nuk e di, shtepia jote eshte ajo gje

to which you can dedicate your energies

te ciles ti i dedikon energjite e tua

with such singular devotion

me nje devotshmeri te tille

that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

saqe rezultati final behet i parendesishem.

For me, that home has always been writing.

Per mua, ajo shtepi gjithmone ka qene te shkruarit.

So after the weird, disorienting success

Keshtu qe pas suksesit disorientues dhe te cuditshem

that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"

qe kalova me "Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

I realized that all I had to do was exactly

kuptova se gjithcka qe une duhet te beja ishte ekzatesisht

the same thing that I used to have to do all the time

e njejta gje qe beja gjate gjithe kohes,

when I was an equally disoriented failure.

kur isha nje deshtim i corientuar.

I had to get my ass back to work,

Duhet te kthehesha te punoja,

and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,

dhe keshtu bera, dhe ne 2010-n,

I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up

arrita te publikoja vazhdimin e

to "Eat, Pray, Love."

"Ha, Lutu, Dashuro"

And you know what happened with that book?

Dhe e dini se cfare ndodhi me ate liber?

It bombed, and I was fine.

Doli huq dhe une isha mire.

Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,

Ne fakt, u ndjeva pak si e papershkrueshme,

because I knew that I had broken the spell

sepse e dija qe e kisha prishur mallkimin

and I had found my way back home

dhe kisha gjetur rrugen per ne shtepi

to writing for the sheer devotion of it.

te shkruaja per perkushtimin absolut ndaj tij.

And I stayed in my home of writing after that,

Dhe qendrova ne shtepine time te shkruaja me pas,

and I wrote another book that just came out last year

dhe shkrova nje liber tjeter qe doli vitin e shkuar

and that one was really beautifully received,

dhe ky u prit shume mire,

which is very nice, but not my point.

eshte nje gje e kendshme, por kjo nuk eshte ajo qe dua te them.

My point is that I'm writing another one now,

Ajo qe dua te them eshte se po shkruaj nje tjeter tani

and I'll write another book after that

dhe do te shkruaj nje liber tjeter me pas

and another and another and another

dhe nje tjeter, dhe nje tjeter dhe nje tjeter

and many of them will fail,

dhe shume prej tyre do te deshtojne,

and some of them might succeed,

dhe disa prej tyre mund te kene sukses,

but I will always be safe

por une gjithmone do te jem e sigurte

from the random hurricanes of outcome

nga uraganet e mundshem te suksesit

as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

per aq kohe sa nuk e harroj se ku jetoj.

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,

Une nuk e di se ku jetoni ju,

but I know that there's something in this world

por e di se eshte dicka ne kete bote

that you love more than you love yourself.

qe ju e doni me shume se doni veten tuaj.

Something worthy, by the way,

Dicka qe t'ia vleje, meqe ra fjala,

so addiction and infatuation don't count,

se varesia dhe cmenduria nuk quhen,

because we all know that those are not safe places to live. Right?

sepse e dime se ato nuk jane vende te sigurta per te jetuar. Apo jo?

The only trick is that you've got to identify

E vetmja gje qe duhet te beni eshte te identifikoni me te miren,

the best, worthiest thing that you love most,

dicka me me vlere dhe qe ju e doni me shume,

and then build your house right on top of it

dhe me pas te ndertoni shtepine tuaj siper saj

and don't budge from it.

dhe mos luaj nga ai vend.

And if you should someday, somehow

Dhe nese nje dite , per ndonje arsye

get vaulted out of your home

mbylleni jashte shtepise suaj

by either great failure or great success,

nga nje deshtim ose nje sukses i madh

then your job is to fight your way back to that home

eshte detyra juaj te luftoni ne rrugen e kthimit per tek ajo shtepi

the only way that it has ever been done,

dhe e vetmja gje qe mund te behet,

by putting your head down and performing

eshte te ulesh koken dhe te performosh

with diligence and devotion

me devotshmeri dhe zell

and respect and reverence

me respekt dhe perulesi

whatever the task is that love

cfaredo lloj detyre qe ajo dashuri

is calling forth from you next.

kerkon te behet me pas.

You just do that, and keep doing that

Vetem bej kete dhe vazhdojeni ta beni

again and again and again,

e perseri e perseri e perseri,

and I can absolutely promise you, from long personal experience

dhe une mund tju premtoj ju, nga nje eksperience e gjate personale

in every direction, I can assure you

ne cdo drejtim, mund tju siguroj

that it's all going to be okay.

se cdo gje do te behet me mire.

Thank you.

Ju falemnderit.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)