Success, failure and the drive to keep creating | Elizabeth Gilbert

エリザベス・ギルバート: 成功と失敗と創り続ける力について

翻訳: Kazunori Akashi 校正: Yasushi Aoki

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport

何年か前に ケネディ国際空港で

about to get on a flight,

搭乗を待っていると

when I was approached by two women

女性が２人やって来ました

who I do not think would be insulted

年配で小柄な 押しの強い

to hear themselves described

イタリア系の女たち—

as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

そう呼んでも気を悪くは しないと思います

The taller one, who is like up here,

背の高い方が といってもこれくらいですが

she comes marching up to me, and she goes,

ずかずか近づいて 話しかけてきました

"Honey, I gotta ask you something.

「ちょっと聞くけど

You got something to do with that whole

あんた近頃話題の—

'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

『食べて、祈って、恋をして』の 人じゃない？

And I said, "Yes, I did."

私は「ええ」と答えました

And she smacks her friend and she goes,

すると友人の肩を叩いて言うのです

"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.

「だから言ったじゃない この子だって

That's that girl who wrote that book

あの映画を元に

based on that movie."

本を書いたのは」

(Laughter)

（笑）

So that's who I am.

確かに私です

And believe me, I'm extremely grateful to be that person,

でも自分がその本人で 本当によかったと思っています

because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing

『食べて、祈って、恋をして』は

was a huge break for me.

大きな転機だったからです

But it also left me in a really tricky position

ただ同時に 作家を続けていくには

moving forward as an author

難しい立場に立たされました

trying to figure out how in the world

誰かに喜んでもらえる本を

I was ever going to write a book again

どうしたら再び書けるのか

that would ever please anybody,

わからなかったのです

because I knew well in advance

あの作品を気に入ってくれた人は

that all of those people who had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"

次回作がどんなものだろうと

were going to be incredibly disappointed

絶対がっかりするでしょう

in whatever I wrote next

だって次の作品は

because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"

『食べて、祈って、恋をして』では ないからです

and all of those people who had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"

一方で あの作品が嫌いな人は

were going to be incredibly disappointed

私が何を書こうと

in whatever I wrote next

絶対がっかりします

because it would provide evidence that I still lived.

私がまだ生きていたと わかるから

So I knew that I had no way to win,

どのみち うまくいく 見込みがないのです

and knowing that I had no way to win

もし見込みがないなら

made me seriously consider for a while

もうこんなことはやめて

just quitting the game

田舎に引っ込んで

and moving to the country to raise corgis.

コーギー犬でも育てようかと 本気で考えました

But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,

でも もし書くのをやめたら

I would have lost my beloved vocation,

愛する天職を失ってしまいます

so I knew that the task was that I had to find

だから自分がすべきだと思ったのは

some way to gin up the inspiration

何とかひらめきを取り戻し

to write the next book

避けがたい失敗を恐れず

regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.

次の本を書くことでした

In other words, I had to find a way to make sure

つまり成功に耐えられる ―

that my creativity survived its own success.

創造力を維持するということです

And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,

最終的にひらめきを手に入れたのは

but I found it in the most unlikely

自分でも意外な

and unexpected place.

予期しないものから —

I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life

若い頃に経験から学んだ

about how creativity can survive its own failure.

失敗しても創造力を 維持する方法からでした

So just to back up and explain,

少しさかのぼって説明すると

the only thing I have ever wanted to be

生まれてこのかた 私が夢見てきたのは

for my whole life was a writer.

作家になることだけでした

I wrote all through childhood, all through adolescence,

子どもの頃からずっと書き続け

by the time I was a teenager I was sending

10代になると ひどい作品を

my very bad stories to The New Yorker,

ニューヨーカー誌に送りつけては

hoping to be discovered.

見出されることを 夢見ていました

After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,

大学を卒業すると 食堂で

kept working, kept writing,

ウェイトレスをしながら書き続け

kept trying really hard to get published,

必死に出版を目指しましたが

and failing at it.

失敗ばかりでした

I failed at getting published

およそ６年もの間 —

for almost six years.

何も出版できませんでした

So for almost six years, every single day,

その６年間 毎日

I had nothing but rejection letters

郵便受けで私を待っていたのは

waiting for me in my mailbox.

断りの手紙だけでした

And it was devastating every single time,

手紙を受け取る度に絶望し

and every single time, I had to ask myself

負け続けるのは終わりにして

if I should just quit while I was behind

書くのをあきらめ

and give up and spare myself this pain.

苦痛から逃れるべきかと 悩みました

But then I would find my resolve,

それでも私はいつも

and always in the same way,

こう考えて決意を新たにしました

by saying, "I'm not going to quit,

「私はやめない ―

I'm going home."

自分の居場所に戻るんだ」

And you have to understand that for me,

誤解しないで

going home did not mean returning to my family's farm.

家族が住む農場に 帰るわけではありません

For me, going home

私にとって「戻る」とは

meant returning to the work of writing

作家の仕事に戻ることです

because writing was my home,

私の居場所は書くことだから

because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing,

書いて失敗する辛さより 書くことへの愛情が勝っていました

which is to say that I loved writing

結局 私には自尊心や

more than I loved my own ego,

もっと言えば

which is ultimately to say

自分自身よりも

that I loved writing more than I loved myself.

書くことの方が大事だったのです

And that's how I pushed through it.

こうやって乗り切ったのです

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,

ところが不思議なことに20年経って

during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"

『食べて、祈って、恋をして』の

I found myself identifying all over again

騒動の渦中にいる自分と 本も出せない ―

with that unpublished young diner waitress

ウェイトレス時代の自分が 重なったのです

who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,

その頃の自分が いつも頭にあり

and feeling like I was her again,

当時に戻ったようでした

which made no rational sense whatsoever

合理的な説明などできません

because our lives could not have been more different.

人生は一変していましたから

She had failed constantly.

昔の私は失敗ばかり

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.

今は想像を絶する 成功を収めていて

We had nothing in common.

共通点は一つもない

Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

なぜ急に昔の自分に戻った 気がしたのでしょう？

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that

その謎を解こうとしてようやく

that I finally began to comprehend

理解し始めたのです

the strange and unlikely psychological connection

大きな失敗と大きな成功との間には

in our lives between the way we experience great failure

不可思議で想像を超えた ―

and the way we experience great success.

心理的なつながりがあるのだと

So think of it like this:

考えてみてください

For most of your life, you live out your existence

皆さんは人生の大部分を

here in the middle of the chain of human experience

平凡で平穏な いつも変わらない ―

where everything is normal and reassuring and regular,

経験の連鎖の中を生きています

but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here

でも失敗すると 突如 先の見えない

into the blinding darkness of disappointment.

絶望の淵へと投げ出されます

Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far

一方 成功した場合にも 同じくらい遠くへ

way out over here

投げ出され

into the equally blinding glare

名声と評価と賞賛で

of fame and recognition and praise.

周りが見えなくなります

And one of these fates

一般的には

is objectively seen by the world as bad,

２つのうち片方は悪いこと

and the other one is objectively seen by the world as good,

もう片方は良いこととされています

but your subconscious is completely incapable

ところが潜在意識のレベルでは

of discerning the difference between bad and good.

２つはまったく 見分けがつかないのです

The only thing that it is capable of feeling

唯一 感じとれるのは

is the absolute value of this emotional equation,

感情という方程式の絶対値 すなわち

the exact distance that you have been flung

本来の自分から どれほど遠く 隔たっているか

from yourself.

ということだけです

And there's a real equal danger in both cases

どちらの場合にも

of getting lost out there

心の深みの中で

in the hinterlands of the psyche.

道を見失う危険が伴います

But in both cases, it turns out that there is

ただ どちらの場合でも

also the same remedy for self-restoration,

同じ方法で 自分を 取り戻せることに気付きました

and that is that you have got to find your way back home again

その方法とは できるだけ 早く スムーズに

as swiftly and smoothly as you can,

自分の居場所に戻ることです

and if you're wondering what your home is,

自分の居場所が わからなくても

here's a hint:

手がかりがあります

Your home is whatever in this world you love

あなたの居場所とは

more than you love yourself.

自分よりも大事なものです

So that might be creativity, it might be family,

それは何かを作ることかも知れないし

it might be invention, adventure,

家族や発明や冒険や —

faith, service, it might be raising corgis,

信仰や奉仕や コーギー犬を育てることかも知れません

I don't know, your home is that thing

とにかく あなたの居場所とは

to which you can dedicate your energies

情熱をもって

with such singular devotion

全精力を注ぐことができ

that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

結果など もはや重要ではない というようなものです

For me, that home has always been writing.

私の居場所はいつも 書くことでした

So after the weird, disorienting success

『食べて、祈って、恋をして』で 目が眩むような

that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"

成功を収めてわかりました

I realized that all I had to do was exactly

私に必要なのは

the same thing that I used to have to do all the time

めまいがする程の失敗をした時に

when I was an equally disoriented failure.

必要だったのと同じもの

I had to get my ass back to work,

また書き始める ということだったのです

and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,

そうやって 2010年に

I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up

恐れていた『食べて、祈って、 恋をして』の

to "Eat, Pray, Love."

続編を出せました

And you know what happened with that book?

その本がどうなったか？

It bombed, and I was fine.

失敗でしたが 気になりませんでした

Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,

もう何にでも耐えられそうでした

because I knew that I had broken the spell

呪縛から解き放たれ

and I had found my way back home

書くことが好きだから書くという

to writing for the sheer devotion of it.

自分の居場所に戻れたからです

And I stayed in my home of writing after that,

その後も作家として その場所に留まり

and I wrote another book that just came out last year

2013年には新しい本が出て

and that one was really beautifully received,

好意的に受け入れられましたが

which is very nice, but not my point.

それは重要ではありません

My point is that I'm writing another one now,

重要なのは 今も新作を書き

and I'll write another book after that

その後も次々と

and another and another and another

書いていくことなのです

and many of them will fail,

失敗作も多いでしょう

and some of them might succeed,

何冊かは成功するかも知れません

but I will always be safe

でも自分が生きるべき場所さえ

from the random hurricanes of outcome

忘れない限り

as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

目まぐるしく変わる結果に 左右されることはないでしょう

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,

生きるべき場所は 人それぞれですが

but I know that there's something in this world

誰でも この世のどこかに

that you love more than you love yourself.

自分より大切なものがあるはずです

Something worthy, by the way,

耽溺や幻想ではない

so addiction and infatuation don't count,

価値のある何かです

because we all know that those are not safe places to live. Right?

何かに溺れてしまっては 安心して過ごせませんから

The only trick is that you've got to identify

秘訣は自分が一番気に入っている ―

the best, worthiest thing that you love most,

価値のあるものを見つけ出し

and then build your house right on top of it

そこに自分の場所を作って

and don't budge from it.

決して動かないことです

And if you should someday, somehow

もしある日突然

get vaulted out of your home

失敗や成功が原因で

by either great failure or great success,

そこから閉め出されてしまったら

then your job is to fight your way back to that home

居場所を取り戻すために戦うのです

the only way that it has ever been done,

それが唯一の方法です

by putting your head down and performing

死に物狂いで

with diligence and devotion

努力を惜しまず熱心に

and respect and reverence

深い敬意をもって

whatever the task is that love

取り組んだなら それが何であれ

is calling forth from you next.

愛情が呼び覚まされます

You just do that, and keep doing that

ただひたすらやり続けること

again and again and again,

繰り返し 繰り返し･･･

and I can absolutely promise you, from long personal experience

私の長年の経験から 断言しますが

in every direction, I can assure you

そうすればきっと

that it's all going to be okay.

問題は解決するはずです

Thank you.

ありがとう

(Applause)

（拍手）