Success, failure and the drive to keep creating | Elizabeth Gilbert

Translator: Natalia Masikova Reviewer: Jana Pavlišová

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport

Pred pár rokmi som bola na letisku Johna F. Kennedyho

a chystala som sa nastúpiť do lietadla,

about to get on a flight,

when I was approached by two women

keď ma oslovili dve ženy,

who I do not think would be insulted

ktoré by sa určite neurazili,

to hear themselves described

ak by som ich opísala

as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

ako drobné staré hrubo hovoriace taliansko-americké ženské.

The taller one, who is like up here,

Tá vyššia, asi potiaľto,

she comes marching up to me, and she goes,

pochoduje ku mne a začne,

"Honey, I gotta ask you something.

„Zlato, musím sa ťa niečo spýtať,

You got something to do with that whole

máš niečo dočinenia s tou celou vecou

'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

‚Jedz, modli sa, miluj‘, o ktorej sa teraz hovorí?"

And I said, "Yes, I did."

A ja som povedala, „Áno, mám.“

And she smacks her friend and she goes,

A ona pleskne svoju kamarátku a hovorí,

"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.

„Vidíš, hovorila som ti, že je to to dievča.

That's that girl who wrote that book

To je to dievča, čo napísalo tú knihu

based on that movie."

podľa toho filmu."

(Laughter)

(Smiech)

So that's who I am.

Takže to som ja.

And believe me, I'm extremely grateful to be that person,

A verte mi, som veľmi vďačná, že som tou osobou,

because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing

lebo celá tá vec „Jedz, modli sa, miluj“

was a huge break for me.

bola pre mňa prelomová.

But it also left me in a really tricky position

Ale taktiež som ostala v ťažkej pozícií,

moving forward as an author

ako sa ďalej autorsky posunúť,

prísť na to, ako dopekla

trying to figure out how in the world

znova napíšem knihu,

I was ever going to write a book again

that would ever please anybody,

ktorá by niekoho uspokojila,

because I knew well in advance

pretože som už dopredu dobre vedela,

that all of those people who had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"

že všetci tí, čo milovali „Jedz, modli sa, miluj“,

were going to be incredibly disappointed

budú neskutočne sklamaní

in whatever I wrote next

zo všetkého, čo napíšem neskôr,

pretože to už nebude „Jedz, modli sa, miluj“

because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"

and all of those people who had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"

a všetci tí, čo nenávideli „Jedz, modli sa, miluj“,

were going to be incredibly disappointed

budú neskutočne sklamaní

in whatever I wrote next

zo všetkého, čo napíšem,

because it would provide evidence that I still lived.

pretože by to bol dôkaz, že stále žijem.

So I knew that I had no way to win,

Takže som vedela, že nemôžem vyhrať

and knowing that I had no way to win

a toto poznanie

made me seriously consider for a while

ma donútilo na chvíľu sa zamyslieť,

just quitting the game

či nemám skončiť

and moving to the country to raise corgis.

a presťahovať sa na vidiek, kde by som chovala psy.

But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,

Ale ak by som sa vzdala písania,

I would have lost my beloved vocation,

prišla by som o moje milované povolanie,

so I knew that the task was that I had to find

takže som vedela, že mojou úlohou je nájsť

some way to gin up the inspiration

spôsob, ako získať inšpiráciu,

to write the next book

aby som napísala knihu

regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.

bez ohľadu na nevyhnutný negatívny výsledok.

In other words, I had to find a way to make sure

Skrátka, musela som nájsť spôsob,

that my creativity survived its own success.

ako moja kreativita prežije vlastný úspech.

And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,

A nakoniec som našla tú inšpiráciu,

but I found it in the most unlikely

ale na tom najnepravdepodobnejšom

and unexpected place.

a celkom nečakanom mieste.

I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life

Našla som ju v ponaučeniach, ktoré som sa naučila v živote,

about how creativity can survive its own failure.

o tom, ako kreativita môže prežiť svoj vlastný neúspech.

So just to back up and explain,

Trochu sa pristavím a vysvetlím,

the only thing I have ever wanted to be

že som v živote chcela byť

for my whole life was a writer.

jedine spisovateľkou.

I wrote all through childhood, all through adolescence,

Písala som počas detstva, počas dospievania,

by the time I was a teenager I was sending

už ako tínedžerka som posielala moje

my very bad stories to The New Yorker,

veľmi zlé poviedky do The New Yorker-a

hoping to be discovered.

dúfajúc, že budem objavená.

After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,

Po vysokej som pracovala ako čašníčka v bistre,

kept working, kept writing,

stále som pracovala, stále som písala,

kept trying really hard to get published,

stále som sa snažila o publikovanie mojich prác

and failing at it.

a nedarilo sa mi to.

I failed at getting published

Zlyhávala som v publikovaní

for almost six years.

takmer 6 rokov.

So for almost six years, every single day,

Takmer 6 rokov, každý jeden deň,

I had nothing but rejection letters

som dostávala samé odmietnutia,

waiting for me in my mailbox.

ktoré na mňa čakali v schránke.

And it was devastating every single time,

A vždy to bolo zdrvujúce,

and every single time, I had to ask myself

každý raz som sa samej seba pýtala,

if I should just quit while I was behind

či mám skončiť, pokiaľ sa mi nedarí

and give up and spare myself this pain.

a či sa mám vzdať a ušetriť sa tejto bolesti.

But then I would find my resolve,

Ale potom som našla riešenie,

and always in the same way,

a to vždy rovnaké,

by saying, "I'm not going to quit,

tak, že som si povedala: "Neskončím,

I'm going home."

idem domov."

And you have to understand that for me,

A musíte pochopiť, že pre mňa

going home did not mean returning to my family's farm.

odchod domov neznamenal návrat na rodinnú farmu.

For me, going home

Pre mňa odchod domov

meant returning to the work of writing

znamenal návrat k písaniu,

because writing was my home,

lebo písanie bolo mojím domovom,

because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing,

pretože som ho milovala viac ako som nenávidela zlyhávanie v ňom.

which is to say that I loved writing

Skrátka, písanie som mala radšej

more than I loved my own ego,

ako svoje vlastné ego,

which is ultimately to say

čo v podstate znamená,

that I loved writing more than I loved myself.

že som milovala písanie viac, ako samú seba.

And that's how I pushed through it.

A takto som sa cez to dostala.

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,

Ale divné je, že o 20 rokov neskôr,

during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"

počas bláznivej jazdy „Jedz, modli sa,

I found myself identifying all over again

miluj“, som sa začala znova stotožňovať

with that unpublished young diner waitress

s tou nepublikovanou mladou čašníčkou z bistra,

who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,

ktorou som bola, neustále som nad ňou premýšľala,

and feeling like I was her again,

a cítila som, že som ňou opäť,

which made no rational sense whatsoever

čo nedávalo absolútne žiaden zmysel,

because our lives could not have been more different.

lebo naše životy nemohli byť odlišnejšie.

She had failed constantly.

Ona bola vždy neúspešná.

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.

Môj úspech predčil aj tie najväčšie očakávania.

We had nothing in common.

Nič sme nemali spoločné.

Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

Prečo som sa zrazu znova cítila ako ona?

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that

A až keď som sa to snažila vyriešiť,

that I finally began to comprehend

začala som konečne chápať

the strange and unlikely psychological connection

zvláštne a nepravdepodobné spojenie v našich

in our lives between the way we experience great failure

životoch medzi tým, ako prežívame obrovské sklamanie

and the way we experience great success.

a ako prežívame obrovský úspech.

So think of it like this:

Premýšľajte nad tým takto:

For most of your life, you live out your existence

Väčšinu vášho života len prežívate

here in the middle of the chain of human experience

tu v strede reťazca ľudských skúseností,

where everything is normal and reassuring and regular,

kde je všetko normálne, upokojujúce a bežné,

but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here

ale zlyhanie vás odrazu katapultuje preč z tohto miesta

into the blinding darkness of disappointment.

do oslepujúcej temnoty sklamania.

Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far

Úspech vás katapultuje rovnako nečakane, ale ďaleko,

way out over here

preč odtiaľto

into the equally blinding glare

do rovnako oslepujúcej žiary,

of fame and recognition and praise.

avšak slávy, uznania a chvály.

And one of these fates

A jeden z týchto osudov

is objectively seen by the world as bad,

svet objektívne berie ako zlý,

and the other one is objectively seen by the world as good,

druhý objektívne berie ako dobrý,

but your subconscious is completely incapable

no vaše podvedomie je úplne neschopné

of discerning the difference between bad and good.

rozlišovať medzi dobrým a zlým osudom.

The only thing that it is capable of feeling

Jediné, čo dokáže, je cítiť

is the absolute value of this emotional equation,

absolútnu hodnotu tejto emocionálnej rovnice,

the exact distance that you have been flung

presnú vzdialenosť, ktorú ste hodili

from yourself.

od seba.

And there's a real equal danger in both cases

A v oboch prípadoch je rovnaké riziko

of getting lost out there

zablúdenia

in the hinterlands of the psyche.

v hĺbke duše.

But in both cases, it turns out that there is

Ale v oboch prípadoch sa ukáže,

also the same remedy for self-restoration,

že je rovnaký liek na sebazotavenie,

and that is that you have got to find your way back home again

a to taký, že musíte nájsť cestu naspäť domov

as swiftly and smoothly as you can,

tak rýchlo a hladko, ako len môžete.

and if you're wondering what your home is,

A ak sa pýtate, čo je váš domov,

here's a hint:

tu je pomôcka:

Your home is whatever in this world you love

Vaším domovom je hocičo na svete, čo milujete viac,

more than you love yourself.

ako milujete samých seba.

So that might be creativity, it might be family,

Takže to môže byť kreativita, rodina,

it might be invention, adventure,

vynaliezavosť, dobrodružstvo,

faith, service, it might be raising corgis,

viera, služba, môže to byť chovanie psov.

I don't know, your home is that thing

Neviem, vaším domovom je tá vec,

to which you can dedicate your energies

ktorej venujete svoju energiu

with such singular devotion

takou jedinečnou oddanosťou,

that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

že konečné výsledky sú bezvýznamné.

For me, that home has always been writing.

Pre mňa bolo tým domovom vždy písanie.

So after the weird, disorienting success

Takže po divnom a mätúcom úspechu, ktorým som prešla

that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"

vďaka „Jedz, modli sa, miluj“, som

I realized that all I had to do was exactly

zistila, že musím spraviť to,

the same thing that I used to have to do all the time

čo som robievala vždy,

when I was an equally disoriented failure.

keď som bola zmäteným neúspešným človekom.

I had to get my ass back to work,

Musela som sa dotlačiť späť do práce

and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,

a to je to, čo som aj spravila, a tak som v roku 2010

I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up

dokázala vydať obávanú následníčku

to "Eat, Pray, Love."

predošlej knihy.

And you know what happened with that book?

Viete, čo sa s tou knihou stalo?

It bombed, and I was fine.

Bola prepadák, ale ja som bola v poriadku.

Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,

Vlastne som sa cítila nepriestrelná,

because I knew that I had broken the spell

pretože som vedela, že som prekonala prekliatie

and I had found my way back home

a našla som cestu späť domov,

to writing for the sheer devotion of it.

k písaniu z čistej oddanosti.

And I stayed in my home of writing after that,

Po jej napísaní som zostala v mojom domove

and I wrote another book that just came out last year

a minulý rok som vydala ďalšiu knihu,

and that one was really beautifully received,

ktorá bola naozaj skvelo prijatá,

which is very nice, but not my point.

čo je pekné, ale nie podstata.

My point is that I'm writing another one now,

Podstatou je, že práve píšem ďalšiu

and I'll write another book after that

a po nej napíšem ďalšiu

and another and another and another

a ďalšiu, a ďalšiu, a ďalšiu.

and many of them will fail,

Veľa z nich zlyhá,

and some of them might succeed,

niektoré možno uspejú,

but I will always be safe

ale vždy budem v bezpečí

from the random hurricanes of outcome

pred náhodnými smršťami výsledkov,

as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

pokiaľ nikdy nezabudnem, kde oprávnene žijem.

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,

Pozrite, neviem, kde vy oprávnene žijete,

but I know that there's something in this world

ale viem, že vo svete je niečo,

that you love more than you love yourself.

čo máte radšej, ako samých seba.

Something worthy, by the way,

Niečo, čo naozaj stojí za to,

so addiction and infatuation don't count,

takže závislosť a zaslepenosť sa nerátajú,

because we all know that those are not safe places to live. Right?

pretože všetci vieme, že tie nie sú bezpečným miestom pre život. Však?

The only trick is that you've got to identify

Jedinou fintou je, že musíte rozpoznať

the best, worthiest thing that you love most,

najlepšiu, najcennejšiu vec, ktorú najviac milujete

and then build your house right on top of it

a potom na nej postavte základy

and don't budge from it.

a nepohnite sa odtiaľ.

And if you should someday, somehow

A ak sa niekedy nejako

get vaulted out of your home

vzdialite od svojho domova

by either great failure or great success,

kvôli veľkému sklamaniu alebo veľkému úspechu,

then your job is to fight your way back to that home

vašou úlohou je prebojovať sa naspäť domov

the only way that it has ever been done,

jediným spôsobom, akým to kedy išlo,

by putting your head down and performing

a to tak, že sa zastavíte a začnete pracovať

with diligence and devotion

usilovne a oddane,

and respect and reverence

s rešpektom a úctou,

whatever the task is that love

bez ohľadu na danú úlohu tak, aby vás láska

is calling forth from you next.

poháňala dopredu.

You just do that, and keep doing that

Proste robte len to a pokračujte v tom

again and again and again,

ďalej a ďalej, a ďalej

and I can absolutely promise you, from long personal experience

a ja vám môžem sľúbiť, z mnohých vlastných skúseností

in every direction, I can assure you

v každom smere, môžem vás uistiť,

that it's all going to be okay.

že všetko bude v poriadku.

Thank you.

Ďakujem.

(Applause)

(Potlesk)