Success, failure and the drive to keep creating | Elizabeth Gilbert

Translator: Javier Fernández Reviewer: Judit Piñol (Amara Staff)

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport

Fa uns anys, era a l'aeroport JFK

about to get on a flight,

a punt d'agafar un avió,

when I was approached by two women

quan es van apropar a mi dues dones

who I do not think would be insulted

que no penso que es sentin insultades

to hear themselves described

si les descric com

as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

unes petites velles xerraires italo-americanes força amples.

The taller one, who is like up here,

La més alta, que arribava més o menys fins aquí,

she comes marching up to me, and she goes,

ve cap a mi i em diu:

"Honey, I gotta ask you something.

«Maca, et vull fer una pregunta.

You got something to do with that whole

Tens res a veure amb tot allò de

'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

"Menja, resa, estima" que està per tot arreu últimament?»

And I said, "Yes, I did."

I jo vaig dir-li, «Sí».

And she smacks her friend and she goes,

I ella li dona un cop a la seva amiga i li diu,

"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.

«Veus? T'ho havia dit. És aquella noia.

That's that girl who wrote that book

La noia que va escriure aquell llibre

based on that movie."

basat en aquella pel·lícula.»

(Laughter)

(Rialles)

So that's who I am.

Així que aquesta sóc jo.

And believe me, I'm extremely grateful to be that person,

I cregueu-me, estic molt agraïda de ser aquesta persona,

because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing

perquè tot allò de «Menja, resa, estima»

was a huge break for me.

va ser un gran pas cap endavant per a mi.

But it also left me in a really tricky position

Però alhora em va deixar en la difícil situació

moving forward as an author

d'avançar com autora

trying to figure out how in the world

tractant de saber com m'ho faria

I was ever going to write a book again

per escriure un altre llibre

that would ever please anybody,

que agradés a tothom,

because I knew well in advance

perquè jo ja sabia

that all of those people who had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"

que totes aquelles persones a qui els havia agradat «Menja, resa, estima»

were going to be incredibly disappointed

es sentirien completament decebudes

in whatever I wrote next

amb qualsevol cosa que escrigués

because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"

perquè no seria «Menja, resa, estima»,

and all of those people who had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"

i totes aquelles persones que odiaven «Menja, resa, estima»

were going to be incredibly disappointed

es sentirien completament decebudes

in whatever I wrote next

amb qualsevol cosa que escrigués

because it would provide evidence that I still lived.

perquè seria la prova de que continuo amb vida.

So I knew that I had no way to win,

Així, que sabia que no tenia manera de guanyar,

and knowing that I had no way to win

i saber que no tenia manera de guanyar,

made me seriously consider for a while

em va fer plantejar-me seriosament

just quitting the game

deixar la partida

and moving to the country to raise corgis.

i anar-me a viure al camp a criar corgis.

But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,

Però si hagués fet això hauria deixat d'escriure.

I would have lost my beloved vocation,

Hauria perdut la meva estimada vocació,

so I knew that the task was that I had to find

així que sabia que el que havia de fer era trobar

some way to gin up the inspiration

alguna manera d'estimular la inspiració

to write the next book

per escriure un nou llibre

regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.

sense que importés la inevitable mala acollida que tindria.

In other words, I had to find a way to make sure

Havia de trobar alguna manera d'assegurar-me

that my creativity survived its own success.

de que la meva creativitat sobrevivia al seu propi èxit.

And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,

I de fet, al final, vaig trobar la inspiració

but I found it in the most unlikely

però la vaig trobar en el lloc

and unexpected place.

més inesperat i improbable.

I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life

La vaig trobar en lliçons que havia ja havia après abans

about how creativity can survive its own failure.

de com la creativitat sobreviu al seu propi fracàs.

So just to back up and explain,

En poques paraules,

the only thing I have ever wanted to be

l'única cosa que sempre havia desitjat

for my whole life was a writer.

era ser escriptora.

I wrote all through childhood, all through adolescence,

Vaig escriure durant tota la infantesa, durant tota l'adolescència.

by the time I was a teenager I was sending

Quan era una adolescent enviava

my very bad stories to The New Yorker,

les meves obres dolentíssimes al The New Yorker,

hoping to be discovered.

esperant ser descoberta.

After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,

En acabar la universitat vaig trobar un treball de cambrera,

kept working, kept writing,

i vaig continuar treballant i escrivint,

kept trying really hard to get published,

esforçant-me molt per poder publicar,

and failing at it.

i fracassant sempre.

I failed at getting published

No vaig aconseguir que em publiquessin

for almost six years.

durant gairebé sis anys.

So for almost six years, every single day,

Així, que durant gairebé sis anys, cada dia

I had nothing but rejection letters

l'única cosa que rebia a la bústia

waiting for me in my mailbox.

eren cartes de rebuig.

And it was devastating every single time,

I cada vegada era devastadora,

and every single time, I had to ask myself

i cadascuna de les vegades em preguntava a mi mateixa

if I should just quit while I was behind

si no seria millor deixar-ho córrer

and give up and spare myself this pain.

rendir-me, i lliurar-me d'aquella càrrega.

But then I would find my resolve,

Però aleshores prenia la determinació,

and always in the same way,

i sempre de la mateixa manera, em deia:

by saying, "I'm not going to quit,

«No hi penso renunciar.

me'n vaig a casa.»

I'm going home."

And you have to understand that for me,

I aquí heu d'entendre que per a mi,

going home did not mean returning to my family's farm.

anar-me'n a casa no volia dir tornar a la granja dels meus pares.

For me, going home

Per a mi, tornar a casa

meant returning to the work of writing

volia dir tornar al treball d'escriure

because writing was my home,

perquè escriure era la meva llar,

because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing,

perquè m'agradava més escriure del que odiava fracassar escrivint,

which is to say that I loved writing

el que és el mateix que dir

more than I loved my own ego,

que m'agradava més escriure que el meu propi ego,

which is ultimately to say

que vol dir

that I loved writing more than I loved myself.

que m'estimava més escriure del que m'estimava a mi mateixa.

And that's how I pushed through it.

I així és com vaig tirar cap endavant.

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,

Però el que és estrany és que 20 anys després,

during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"

durant el punt àlgid de «Menja, resa, estima»

I found myself identifying all over again

no parava d'identificar-me

with that unpublished young diner waitress

amb aquella jove cambrera

who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,

que vaig ser, pensant en ella constantment,

and feeling like I was her again,

i sentint-me ella una altra vegada,

which made no rational sense whatsoever

el qual era absurd,

because our lives could not have been more different.

perquè les nostres vides no havien pogut ésser més diferents.

She had failed constantly.

Ella havia fracassat constantment.

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.

Jo havia triomfat més enllà de les meves expectatives.

We had nothing in common.

No teníem res en comú.

Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

Per què de cop i volta em sentia como si fos ella?

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that

I no va ser fins quan tractava de desembullar tot allò

that I finally began to comprehend

quan finalment vaig compendre

the strange and unlikely psychological connection

l'estranya i difícil connexió psicològica

in our lives between the way we experience great failure

que hi ha en les nostres vides entre com patim un gran fracàs

and the way we experience great success.

i com experimentem un gran èxit.

So think of it like this:

Així que penseu-ho un moment:

Durant la major part de la vostra vida,

For most of your life, you live out your existence

here in the middle of the chain of human experience

vivim al mig de la cadena de l'experiència humana

where everything is normal and reassuring and regular,

on tot és normal, reconfortant i habitual,

but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here

però el fracàs et catapulta abruptament cap allà,

into the blinding darkness of disappointment.

a la foscor cegadora de la decepció.

Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far

L'èxit et catapulta igual de lluny i d'abruptament però

way out over here

ben lluny cap allà

into the equally blinding glare

cap a la igualment enlluernadora brillantor

of fame and recognition and praise.

de la fama i el reconeixement i l'elogi.

And one of these fates

I un d'aquests destins

is objectively seen by the world as bad,

es vist objectivament pel món com dolent,

and the other one is objectively seen by the world as good,

i l'altre es vist objectivament pel món com bo,

but your subconscious is completely incapable

però el nostre subconscient és completament incapaç

of discerning the difference between bad and good.

de discernir entre el que està bé i el que està malament.

The only thing that it is capable of feeling

L'únic que és capaç de sentir

is the absolute value of this emotional equation,

és el valor absolut d'aquesta equació emocional,

the exact distance that you have been flung

la distància exacta a la que hem estat llançats

from yourself.

de nosaltres mateixos.

And there's a real equal danger in both cases

I hi ha un risc igual de perillós en ambdós casos

of getting lost out there

de perdre's allà afora

in the hinterlands of the psyche.

en les profunditats de la nostra ment.

But in both cases, it turns out that there is

Però per ambdós casos,

also the same remedy for self-restoration,

resulta que hi ha el mateix remei per a l'auto-restauració,

and that is that you have got to find your way back home again

que és que necessitem trobar el camí de tornada a casa

as swiftly and smoothly as you can,

tan ràpid i fluidament com puguem,

and if you're wondering what your home is,

i si us pregunteu quina és la vostra llar,

here's a hint:

aquí teniu una pista:

Your home is whatever in this world you love

La vostra llar és allò del món que us estimeu més

more than you love yourself.

que a vosaltres mateixos.

So that might be creativity, it might be family,

Així que pot ser la creativitat, pot ser la família,

it might be invention, adventure,

pot ser l'enginy, l'aventura,

faith, service, it might be raising corgis,

la fe, el servei, pot ser criar corgis.

I don't know, your home is that thing

No ho sé, la vostra llar és allò

to which you can dedicate your energies

al què podeu dedicar les vostres energies

with such singular devotion

amb una devoció tan gran

that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

que els resultats finals es tornen intranscendents.

For me, that home has always been writing.

Per a mi, aquella llar ha estat sempre escriure.

So after the weird, disorienting success

Així que després d'aquell estrany i desorientador èxit

that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"

que vaig tenir amb «Menja, resa, estima»,

em vaig adonar de que l'únic que havia de fer

I realized that all I had to do was exactly

the same thing that I used to have to do all the time

era el mateix que havia estat fent tot aquell temps

when I was an equally disoriented failure.

quan jo era un fracàs igualment desorientat.

I had to get my ass back to work,

Havia de tornar a treballar,

and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,

i això és el que vaig fer, i així és com a l'any 2010

I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up

vaig poder publicar la temuda seqüela

to "Eat, Pray, Love."

de «Menja, resa, estima».

And you know what happened with that book?

I sabeu què va passar amb aquell llibre?

It bombed, and I was fine.

Que va ser un fracàs, pero no passava res.

Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,

De fet, em vaig sentir com a prova de bales,

because I knew that I had broken the spell

perquè sabia que havia trencat l'encanteri

and I had found my way back home

i havia trobat el camí de tornada a casa

to writing for the sheer devotion of it.

on escriuria per la pura devoció d'escriure.

And I stayed in my home of writing after that,

I després vaig continuar a la meva llar d'escriure

and I wrote another book that just came out last year

i vaig escriure un llibre que tot just va ser publicat l'any passat

and that one was really beautifully received,

i que va ser molt ben rebut,

el qual està molt bé, però no és el que vull dir.

which is very nice, but not my point.

My point is that I'm writing another one now,

El que vull dir és que estic escrivint un nou llibre

i escriuré un altre llibre després d'aquest

and I'll write another book after that

and another and another and another

i un altre i un altre i un altre

and many of them will fail,

i molts d'ells fracassaran,

and some of them might succeed,

i algun d'ells potser tindran èxit,

but I will always be safe

però jo sempre estaré fora de perill

from the random hurricanes of outcome

dels huracans que vindran

as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

sempre i quan recordi el lloc on visc plenament.

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,

Mireu, jo no sé on viviu plenament,

but I know that there's something in this world

però sí que sé que hi ha alguna cosa

that you love more than you love yourself.

que estimeu més que a vosaltres mateixos.

Something worthy, by the way,

Alguna cosa respectable, per cert,

so addiction and infatuation don't count,

així que les addicions i les obsessions no compten,

because we all know that those are not safe places to live. Right?

perquè tots sabem que aquestes no son bones llars per viure-hi, veritat?

The only trick is that you've got to identify

El truc està en identificar

the best, worthiest thing that you love most,

la millor, la més valuosa de les coses que us estimeu

and then build your house right on top of it

i després construir la vostra casa a sobre

and don't budge from it.

i no moure-us d'allà.

And if you should someday, somehow

I si algun dia, per qualsevol motiu

get vaulted out of your home

us veieu obligats a sortir de la vostra llar

by either great failure or great success,

tant si és per un gran fracàs com per un gran èxit,

then your job is to fight your way back to that home

el vostre treball és lluitar per trobar el camí de tornada a casa

the only way that it has ever been done,

de l'única manera en que es pot fer,

by putting your head down and performing

aplicant-nos i complint

with diligence and devotion

amb diligència i devoció

and respect and reverence

i respecte i reverència

whatever the task is that love

sigui quina sigui la tasca que estimem

is calling forth from you next.

estarà allà cridant-nos.

You just do that, and keep doing that

Simplement feu això, i continueu fent això

again and again and again,

una vegada i una altra,

and I can absolutely promise you, from long personal experience

i us puc prometre des de la meva llarga experiència personal

in every direction, I can assure you

de totes, totes, us puc asegurar

that it's all going to be okay.

de que tot anirà bé.

Thank you.

Gràcies.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)