Success, failure and the drive to keep creating | Elizabeth Gilbert

翻译人员: Emma Zhao 校对人员: Yolanda Zhang

So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport

几年前, 在肯尼迪机场,

about to get on a flight,

我正在赶飞机,

when I was approached by two women

两名女士从后面追上我,

who I do not think would be insulted

我想她们大概不会介意

to hear themselves described

我把她们描述为

as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.

身材矮小, 言语粗陋的 美籍意大利老大妈。

The taller one, who is like up here,

个子高的那个, 大概这么高,

she comes marching up to me, and she goes,

她追上我, 然后问道,

"Honey, I gotta ask you something.

"亲爱的, 我想问你个事儿.

You got something to do with that whole

你是不是跟最近上映的那个什么

'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"

《美食、祈祷和恋爱》有啥关系?" (译注:又名《一辈子做女孩》)

And I said, "Yes, I did."

我说, "是的。"

And she smacks her friend and she goes,

然后她拍了一下她的朋友, 说道,

"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.

"对吧, 我就说嘛, 就是她。

That's that girl who wrote that book

那个根据电影的故事情节

based on that movie."

写了本儿书的姑娘。"

(Laughter)

(笑声)

So that's who I am.

这就是我。

And believe me, I'm extremely grateful to be that person,

相信我, 我还是非常感激那个人,

because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing

因为有关《美食、祈祷和恋爱》的一切

was a huge break for me.

对我而言都是一个巨大的突破.

But it also left me in a really tricky position

但是同时也把我推向了 一个尴尬的境地。

moving forward as an author

作为一名作家,

trying to figure out how in the world

我需要继续写作,

I was ever going to write a book again

但我无法确定我写的 下一本书能否得到

that would ever please anybody,

读者的青睐,

because I knew well in advance

因为我非常的清楚,

that all of those people who had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"

无论我下一本书的内容是什么,

were going to be incredibly disappointed

那些热爱《美食、祈祷和恋爱》的读者们

in whatever I wrote next

都会无比失望,

because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"

因为下一本书一定不会再是 《美食、祈祷和恋爱》,

and all of those people who had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"

而那些厌恶《美食、祈祷和恋爱》的读者们

were going to be incredibly disappointed

也都会无比失望,

in whatever I wrote next

无论我的下一本书写的是什么,

because it would provide evidence that I still lived.

因为他们会失望的发现我还活得好好的。

So I knew that I had no way to win,

所以, 我知道怎么做都无法两全其美。

and knowing that I had no way to win

当我刚开始意识到这一点的时候

made me seriously consider for a while

我很认真的考虑过

just quitting the game

要不要就此封笔,

and moving to the country to raise corgis.

搬到乡下养养小狗退休算了。

But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,

但是如果我真的这么做了, 真的放弃了,

I would have lost my beloved vocation,

我将会失去所热爱的职业生涯,

so I knew that the task was that I had to find

所以我很清楚应该做什么，

some way to gin up the inspiration

就是要想办法重新激起斗志,

to write the next book

继续写新书,

regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.

不去在意会收到怎样的负面评价。

In other words, I had to find a way to make sure

换句话说, 我需要努力的找到一条出路,

that my creativity survived its own success.

确保我在成功之后依旧保持创造力。

And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,

最终, 我做到了, 我找到了动力,

but I found it in the most unlikely

只不过是在比较意外的、

and unexpected place.

不太可能的场合.

I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life

这其实是源于我早年

about how creativity can survive its own failure.

失败时如何保持创造力的经验.

So just to back up and explain,

让我稍微重复一下,

the only thing I have ever wanted to be

成为作家是我这辈子唯一希望能够

for my whole life was a writer.

从事的职业。

I wrote all through childhood, all through adolescence,

我从孩童时期就开始不停的写, 青少年时期也坚持着,

by the time I was a teenager I was sending

当我只有十几岁的时候, 就已经

my very bad stories to The New Yorker,

把写的不怎么样的故事 寄给了给《纽约客》,

hoping to be discovered.

希望能够被编辑发现。

After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,

大学后我找了一份餐厅服务员的工作,

kept working, kept writing,

继续工作, 继续写作,

kept trying really hard to get published,

继续努力的让自己的作品出版,

and failing at it.

却连续的遭遇了失败。

I failed at getting published

大概有六年的时间, 一直不断的

for almost six years.

被出版社拒绝。

So for almost six years, every single day,

在那六年的时间里的每一天,

I had nothing but rejection letters

除了邮箱里收不完的拒信,

waiting for me in my mailbox.

我一无所有。

And it was devastating every single time,

每一个这样的时刻都非常难熬,

and every single time, I had to ask myself

每一次我都不由得问自己,

if I should just quit while I was behind

是不是应该放弃,

and give up and spare myself this pain.

不要再这么痛苦下去了。

But then I would find my resolve,

但是我又总是立刻就找回了斗志,

and always in the same way,

每次都是如此,

by saying, "I'm not going to quit,

对自己说, "我不会放弃,

I'm going home."

我要回家."

And you have to understand that for me,

这里你们需要明白一点,

going home did not mean returning to my family's farm.

"回家"并不是指回到我的家族农场。

For me, going home

对我而言,

meant returning to the work of writing

"回家"就是回去继续写作的意思,

because writing was my home,

因为写作就是我的家,

because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing,

因为对写作的热爱, 远大于被拒绝带给我的伤痛,

which is to say that I loved writing

或者说我对写作的热爱

more than I loved my own ego,

胜过我对自我(ego)的爱,

which is ultimately to say

更直接的说,

that I loved writing more than I loved myself.

我爱写作胜过爱我自己。

And that's how I pushed through it.

我就是这么挺过来的。

But the weird thing is that 20 years later,

不过奇怪的是, 20年之后,

during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"

当《美食、祈祷和恋爱》 带给我巨大成功的时候,

I found myself identifying all over again

我发现自己又回到了从前的状态,

with that unpublished young diner waitress

那个无书可出的年轻服务员的状态,

who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,

我无时不刻不回想着过去的我,

and feeling like I was her again,

觉得我又变成了当初的自己,

which made no rational sense whatsoever

这听上去不太合理,

because our lives could not have been more different.

毕竟过去和现在的我生活状态 已经大不一样了。

She had failed constantly.

她一直遭遇失败.

I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.

而我获得了始料未及的成功。

We had nothing in common.

我们没有任何相似之处.

Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?

那么为什么我突然觉得自己很像她, 很像过去的自己?

And it was only when I was trying to unthread that

直到我尝试一点一点的解开谜团,

that I finally began to comprehend

我终于开始意识到,

the strange and unlikely psychological connection

使现在和过去的我产生这种 奇怪的"心理联接"的原因,

in our lives between the way we experience great failure

在于我们在面临巨大失败

and the way we experience great success.

以及巨大成功时的应对方式。

So think of it like this:

想象一下:

For most of your life, you live out your existence

在你生命中绝大多数时间, 你的生活状态

here in the middle of the chain of human experience

只是人类生活经历中的一个片段,

where everything is normal and reassuring and regular,

普通, 安稳而又平常,

but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here

而失败就相当于突然把你从这种状态中

into the blinding darkness of disappointment.

猛的推向了无尽黑暗和失望的深渊。

Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far

成功也会如此突如其来的改变你,

way out over here

不同的是,

into the equally blinding glare

成功会给你带来

of fame and recognition and praise.

极高的认可、赞扬和威望。

And one of these fates

这两种不同的命运,

is objectively seen by the world as bad,

一种被这个世界视为是坏的,

and the other one is objectively seen by the world as good,

另一种被这个世界认为是好的,

but your subconscious is completely incapable

但是你的潜意识

of discerning the difference between bad and good.

完全无法区分这种好坏的差别。

The only thing that it is capable of feeling

你唯一能够感知的

is the absolute value of this emotional equation,

是在情绪上体验到的绝对值,

the exact distance that you have been flung

是你在情绪上偏离常态的自己的

from yourself.

绝对值。

And there's a real equal danger in both cases

而且(成功和失败)两种情形下都会面临

of getting lost out there

同样的危机,

in the hinterlands of the psyche.

你可能迷失在心灵的孤岛中。

But in both cases, it turns out that there is

而这两种不同的境遇,

also the same remedy for self-restoration,

又有着相同的自我修复的方法，

and that is that you have got to find your way back home again

就是你要尽可能快的, 顺利的

as swiftly and smoothly as you can,

找到回家的路.

and if you're wondering what your home is,

如果你不知道自己"家"指的是哪里,

here's a hint:

有个技巧:

Your home is whatever in this world you love

你的"家"就是你在这个世界上任何一个

more than you love yourself.

爱它胜过爱自己的东西。

So that might be creativity, it might be family,

可能是你的灵感和创意, 可能是家庭,

it might be invention, adventure,

可以是投资, 冒险,

faith, service, it might be raising corgis,

信仰, 服务, 可以是养小狗,

I don't know, your home is that thing

总之, 你的"家"就是这样一个东西,

to which you can dedicate your energies

你会愿意将全部精力

with such singular devotion

投入其中,

that the ultimate results become inconsequential.

而最终的结果并不是最重要的。

For me, that home has always been writing.

对我来说, 这个"家"就是写作。

So after the weird, disorienting success

所以在我出版《美食、祈祷和恋爱》之后

that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"

经历这种奇特的、令人迷失的成功之后,

I realized that all I had to do was exactly

我意识到我需要做的事情

the same thing that I used to have to do all the time

跟过去的我在经历同样令人迷失的失败时

when I was an equally disoriented failure.

要做的事一样。

I had to get my ass back to work,

我需要回"家"写作,

and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,

我真的这么做了, 并且在2010年,

I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up

我终于在《美食、祈祷和恋爱》之后,

to "Eat, Pray, Love."

出版了新书。

And you know what happened with that book?

你们知道出版之后的反响么?

It bombed, and I was fine.

恶评如潮, 但是我感觉还不错.

Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,

事实上, 我觉得自己已经有免疫力了,

because I knew that I had broken the spell

因为我知道我需要打破这魔咒

and I had found my way back home

而且我找到了回"家"的路,

to writing for the sheer devotion of it.

为了这种绝对而纯粹的热爱去写作。

And I stayed in my home of writing after that,

出版之后我继续在"家"中创作,

and I wrote another book that just came out last year

又写了另一本书, 去年刚刚出版,

and that one was really beautifully received,

获得的反馈真的还不错,

which is very nice, but not my point.

这非常好, 不过不是我的重点。

My point is that I'm writing another one now,

我要说的是我现在正在写一本新的书,

and I'll write another book after that

而且我会在这本书之后继续写下一本,

and another and another and another

一本接着一本的写。

and many of them will fail,

很多书的反响都不会太好,

and some of them might succeed,

其中有几本或许会获得成功,

but I will always be safe

不过无论出版后反响如何剧烈,

from the random hurricanes of outcome

我的内心都会感到平和,

as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.

只要我还记得我真心热爱的是什么。

Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,

我不知道你们各自真心热爱的是什么,

but I know that there's something in this world

但是我知道这世上一定有什么东西, 能够让你们

that you love more than you love yourself.

爱它们胜过爱自己。

Something worthy, by the way,

当然, 是有价值的东西,

so addiction and infatuation don't count,

毒瘾和让你过分沉溺的东西不算,

because we all know that those are not safe places to live. Right?

因为我们都知道这不是安全的"家", 不是么?

The only trick is that you've got to identify

唯一的窍门就是你需要找到最好的,

the best, worthiest thing that you love most,

从你热爱的事物中找到最有价值的,

and then build your house right on top of it

在这个上面构建自己的"家",

and don't budge from it.

并且一直守护它。

And if you should someday, somehow

或许会有一天, 不知道什么时候

get vaulted out of your home

你会被迫离开自己的"家",

by either great failure or great success,

带着是巨大的成功或者失败,

then your job is to fight your way back to that home

那时你需要做的, 就是尽你最大的努力回"家"

the only way that it has ever been done,

而回"家"的唯一方式,

by putting your head down and performing

是沉下心来, 投入你的精力,

with diligence and devotion

勤奋, 毅力,

and respect and reverence

尊重和敬畏,

whatever the task is that love

无论你专注做的是什么事情

is calling forth from you next.

只要你遵循心中对这个事情的热爱。

You just do that, and keep doing that

你只需要坚持, 埋头苦干,

again and again and again,

坚持不懈的做下去,

and I can absolutely promise you, from long personal experience

我可以向你保证, 依据我个人长期的经验,

in every direction, I can assure you

无论从哪个角度来来说, 我都可以向你保证,

that it's all going to be okay.

一切都会好起来的。

Thank you.

谢谢大家。

(Applause)

(掌声)