What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED

Translator: Fanny Skriver Reviewer: Sune Vilsted Østergaard

When I was six years old,

Da jeg var seks år gammel,

I received my gifts.

modtog jeg mine gaver.

My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea.

Min lærer i første klasse havde en strålende idé.

She wanted us to experience receiving gifts

Hun ville have, at vi modtog gaver,

but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other.

men også at vi skulle lære dyden at komplimentere hinanden.

So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom,

Så hun fik os alle sammen til at stå foran klasseværelset,

and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner.

og hun kom med gaver til os alle, som hun stablede i hjørnet.

And she said,

Og hun sagde,

"Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other?

"Skal vi ikke bare stå her og komplimentere hinanden?

If you hear your name called,

Hvis dit navn bliver kaldt,

må du gå over og hente din gave og sætte dig ned."

go and pick up your gift and sit down."

What a wonderful idea, right?

Sikke en vidunderlig idé, ikke?

What could go wrong?

Hvad kunne gå galt?

(Latter)

(Laughter)

Well, there were 40 of us to start with,

Der var 40 af os til at starte med,

and every time I heard someone's name called,

og hver gang jeg hørte nogen blive kaldt på,

I would give out the heartiest cheer.

kom jeg med den mest hjertelige jubel.

And then there were 20 people left,

Og så var der 20 personer tilbage,

and 10 people left,

og 10 personer tilbage,

and five left ...

og fem tilbage...

and three left.

og tre tilbage.

And I was one of them.

Og jeg var en af dem.

And the compliments stopped.

Og komplimenterne stoppede.

Well, at that moment, I was crying.

I det øjeblik græd jeg.

And the teacher was freaking out.

Og læreren var ved at flippe ud.

She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"

Hun sagde, "Hey, er der nogen, der vil sige noget sødt om disse personer?"

(Laughter)

(Latter)

"No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down.

"Ingen? Okay, hvorfor tager I ikke jeres gave og sætter jer ned?

So behave next year --

Opfør jer pænt næste år --

someone might say something nice about you."

og nogen vil måske sige noget sødt om jer."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Well, as I'm describing this you,

Siden jeg beskriver dette for jer,

you probably know I remember this really well.

ved I sikkert, at jeg kan huske det her ret godt.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

But I don't know who felt worse that day.

Jeg ved ikke hvem, det var værst for den dag.

Was it me or the teacher?

Var det mig eller læreren?

She must have realized that she turned a team-building event

Hun må have indset, at hun gjorde en team-building øvelse

into a public roast for three six-year-olds.

til en offentlig udhængning af tre seks-årige.

And without the humor.

Og uden humoren.

You know, when you see people get roasted on TV,

Når man ser folk blive hængt ud på TV,

it was funny.

er det sjovt.

There was nothing funny about that day.

Der var ikke noget sjovt ved den dag.

So that was one version of me,

Så det var en version af mig,

and I would die to avoid being in that situation again --

og jeg ville dø for at undgå at komme i sådan en situation igen --

to get rejected in public again.

at blive afvist offentligt.

That's one version.

Det er en version.

Then fast-forward eight years.

Spol nu otte år frem i tiden.

Bill Gates came to my hometown --

Bill Gates besøgte min hjemby --

Beijing, China --

Beijing, Kina --

to speak,

for at tale,

and I saw his message.

og jeg fangede hans budskab.

I fell in love with that guy.

Jeg blev forelsket i den fyr.

I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now.

Jeg tænkte, wow, jeg ved, hvad jeg vil nu.

That night I wrote a letter to my family

Den aften skrev jeg et brev til min familie,

telling them: "By age 25,

hvor jeg sagde: "Inden jeg er 25,

I will build the biggest company in the world,

vil jeg bygge det største firma i verden,

and that company will buy Microsoft."

og det firma vil opkøbe Microsoft."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world --

Jeg omfavnede hele idéen om at erobre verden --

domination, right?

herredømme, ikke?

And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter.

Jeg fandt ikke på det her, jeg skrev faktisk det brev.

And here it is --

Her er det --

(Laughter)

(Latter)

You don't have to read this through --

I behøver ikke læse det igennem --

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Det er en dårlig håndskrift, men jeg har fremhævet nogle nøgleord.

This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words.

You get the idea.

I forstår, hvad jeg mener.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

So ...

Så ...

that was another version of me:

det var en anden version af mig:

one who will conquer the world.

en, som ville erobre verden.

Well, then two years later,

To år senere fik jeg muligheden for at komme til USA.

I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States.

I jumped on it,

Jeg skyndte mig afsted,

because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?

fordi det var der, Bill Gates boede, ikke?

(Laughter)

(Latter)

I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey.

Jeg tænkte, at det var starten på min entreprenør-rejse.

Then, fast-forward another 14 years.

Spol nu endnu 14 år frem i tiden.

I was 30.

Jeg var 30.

Nope, I didn't build that company.

Nej, jeg havde ikke bygget mit firma.

I didn't even start.

Jeg var ikke engang begyndt.

I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company.

Jeg var faktisk marketing manager for et Fortune 500 firma.

And I felt I was stuck;

Og jeg følte, at jeg sad fast.

I was stagnant.

Jeg var stillestående.

Why is that?

Hvorfor?

Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter?

Hvor var den 14-årige, der skrev det brev?

It's not because he didn't try.

Det var ikke fordi, han ikke prøvede.

It's because every time I had a new idea,

Det var fordi, hver gang jeg havde en ny ide,

every time I wanted to try something new,

hver gang jeg ville prøve noget nyt,

even at work --

selv på jobbet --

I wanted to make a proposal,

når jeg ville fremsætte et forslag,

I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group --

eller snakke foran en gruppe mennesker --

I felt there was this constant battle

følte jeg, at der var en konstant kamp

between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old.

mellem den 14-årige og den seksårige.

One wanted to conquer the world --

Den ene ville erobre verden --

make a difference --

gøre en forskel --

another was afraid of rejection.

den anden var bange for at blive afvist.

And every time that six-year-old won.

Og hver gang vandt den seksårige.

And this fear even persisted after I started my own company.

Og denne frygt blev hos mig, selv efter jeg startede mit eget firma.

I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 --

Jeg startede mit eget firma, da jeg var 30 --

if you want to be Bill Gates,

Vil man være Bill Gates, skal man starte før eller senere, ikke?

you've got to start sooner or later, right?

When I was an entrepreneur,

Da jeg var entreprenør,

I was presented with an investment opportunity,

præsenterede jeg en investeringsmulighed,

and then I was turned down.

men jeg blev afvist.

And that rejection hurt me.

Og den afvisning sårede mig.

It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there.

Den sårede mig så slemt, at jeg ville stoppe lige der.

But then I thought,

Men så tænkte jeg,

hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection?

ville Bill Gates stoppe efter en enkelt investeringsafvisning?

Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that?

Ville en hvilken som helst entreprenør stoppe bare sådan?

No way.

Nej.

And this is where it clicked for me.

Og det er her, det faldt på plads for mig.

OK, I can build a better company.

Okay, jeg kan bygge et bedre firma.

I can build a better team or better product,

Jeg kan danne et bedre team eller produkt,

but one thing for sure:

men en ting er sikker:

I've got to be a better leader.

jeg er nødt til at være en bedre leder.

I've got to be a better person.

Jeg er nødt til at være en bedre person.

I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore.

Jeg kan ikke lade den seksårige blive ved med at diktere mit liv.

I have to put him back in his place.

Jeg bliver nødt til at sætte ham på plads.

So this is where I went online and looked for help.

Det er her, jeg gik online for at få hjælp.

Google was my friend.

Google var min ven.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?"

Jeg googlede, "Hvordan overkommer jeg min frygt for at blive afvist?"

I came up with a bunch of psychology articles

Jeg fandt en del psykologiartikler

about where the fear and pain are coming from.

omkring hvor frygt og smerte kommer fra.

Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articles

Så fandt jeg en del "rah-rah" inspirationsartikler

about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it."

omkring "tag det ikke personligt, bare overkom det."

Who doesn't know that?

Hvem ved ikke det?

(Laughter)

(Latter)

But why was I still so scared?

Men hvorfor var jeg stadig så bange?

Then I found this website by luck.

Så fandt jeg denne hjemmeside ved et held.

It's called rejectiontherapy.com.

Den hedder rejectiontherapy.com.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

"Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.

"Rejection Therapy" var et spil opfundet af en canadisk entreprenør.

His name is Jason Comely.

Hans navn var Jason Comely.

And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection,

Og grundlæggende er idéen, at man i 30 dage skal lede efter afvisning,

and every day get rejected at something,

og hver dag skal man afvises,

and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain.

og til sidst skal man desensibilisere sig selv fra smerten.

And I loved that idea.

Og jeg elskede idéen.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this.

Jeg sagde, "Ved du hvad? Jeg vil gøre det.

And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days."

Og jeg vil mærke mig selv blive afvist 100 dage."

And I came up with my own rejection ideas,

Jeg fandt på mine egne afvisningsidéer,

and I made a video blog out of it.

og jeg lavede en videoblog ud af det.

And so here's what I did.

Så her er, hvad jeg gjorde.

This is what the blog looked like.

Det her er sådan, bloggen så ud.

Day One ...

Dag 1 ...

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.

At låne 100 dollar fra en fremmed.

So this is where I went to where I was working.

Det var her, jeg tog hen til det sted, hvor jeg arbejdede.

I came downstairs

Jeg kom nedenunder,

and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk.

og jeg så en store fyr bag ved et skrivebord.

He looked like a security guard.

Han lignede en sikkerhedsvagt.

So I just approached him.

Jeg nærmede mig ham.

And I was just walking

Jeg gik bare,

and that was the longest walk of my life --

og det var den længste tur i mit liv --

hair on the back of my neck standing up,

hårene i nakken rejste sig,

I was sweating and my heart was pounding.

jeg svedte, og mit hjerte bankede.

And I got there and said,

Jeg kom derhen og sagde,

"Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"

"Hey, herre, kan jeg låne 100 dollars af dig?"

(Laughter)

(Latter)

And he looked up, he's like, "No."

Han kiggede op og sagde, "Nej."

"Why?"

"Hvorfor?"

And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."

Og jeg sagde bare, "Nej? Jeg beklager."

Then I turned around, and I just ran.

Så vendte jeg mig om og løb.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

I felt so embarrassed.

Jeg var så pinlig berørt.

But because I filmed myself --

Men jeg filmede mig selv,

so that night I was watching myself getting rejected,

og den aften så jeg mig selv blive afvist,

I just saw how scared I was.

jeg så bare, hvor bange jeg var.

I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense."

Jeg lignede drengen fra "Den sjette sans."

I saw dead people.

Jeg så døde mennesker.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

But then I saw this guy.

Men så kiggede jeg på fyren.

You know, he wasn't that menacing.

Og han var ikke særlig truende.

He was a chubby, loveable guy,

Han var en buttet, elskværdig fyr,

and he even asked me, "Why?"

og han spurgte mig endda, "Hvorfor?"

In fact, he invited me to explain myself.

Han inviterede mig faktisk til at forklare mig selv.

And I could've said many things.

Jeg kunne have sagt mange ting.

I could've explained, I could've negotiated.

Jeg kunne have forklaret, jeg kunne have forhandlet.

I didn't do any of that.

Jeg gjorde ikke noget af det.

All I did was run.

Det eneste jeg gjorde var at løbe.

I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life.

Jeg følte, at det her var mit livs mikrokosmos.

Every time I felt the slightest rejection,

Hver gang jeg følte den mindste smule afvisning,

I would just run as fast as I could.

ville jeg løbe så hurtigt, jeg kunne.

And you know what?

Og ved I hvad?

The next day, no matter what happens,

Den næste dag, uanset hvad der sker,

I'm not going to run.

så vil jeg ikke løbe.

I'll stay engaged.

Jeg vil blive i situationen.

Day Two: Request a "burger refill."

Dag 2: Bede om en "burger refill."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

It's when I went to a burger joint,

Jeg tog til et burgersted,

I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said,

spiste min frokost og gik op til ekspedienten og sagde,

"Hej, kan jeg få en burger refill?"

"Hi, can I get a burger refill?"

(Laughter)

(Latter)

He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"

Han var helt forvirret, "Hvad er en burger refill?"

(Laughter)

(Latter)

I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger."

Jeg sagde, "Det er ligesom en sodavands refill, men med en burger."

And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."

Og han sagde, "Beklager, vi har ikke burger refill."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed.

Det var her, afvisningen skete, og jeg kunne være løbet, men jeg blev.

I said, "Well, I love your burgers,

Jeg sagde, "Jeg elsker jeres burgere,

I love your joint,

og jeg elsker det her sted,

and if you guys do a burger refill,

og hvis I havde en burger refill,

I will love you guys more."

så elsker jeg jer endnu mere."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it,

Og han sagde, "Altså, okay, jeg vil sige det til min manager,

and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today."

og måske vil vi, men beklager, i dag kan vi ikke gøre det."

Then I left.

Så gik jeg.

And by the way,

Og forresten,

I don't think they've ever done burger refill.

tror jeg ikke, de har lavet burger refill.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Jeg tror stadig, de er der.

I think they're still there.

But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time

Men den der liv-og-død følelse, som jeg havde den første gang,

was no longer there,

var der ikke længere,

just because I stayed engaged --

bare fordi jeg blev i situationen --

because I didn't run.

fordi jeg ikke løb.

I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things.

Jeg sagde, "Wow, fedt, jeg lærer allerede noget.

Great."

Fedt. Og så dag 3: At få en olympisk donut.

And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts.

This is where my life was turned upside down.

Det er her, mit liv blev vendt op og ned.

I went to a Krispy Kreme.

Jeg tog hen til en Krispy Kreme.

It's a doughnut shop

Det er en donutbutik,

der hovedsageligt findes i det sydøstlige USA.

in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States.

I'm sure they have some here, too.

Jeg er sikker på, der også er nogen her.

And I went in,

Og jeg gik ind,

I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols?

jeg sagde, "Kan I lave donuts, der ligner det olympiske symbol?

Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... "

Det er grundlæggende fem donuts, der hænger sammen ..."

I mean there's no way they could say yes, right?

Jeg mener, de ville på ingen måde sige ja, vel?

The doughnut maker took me so seriously.

Hende, der lavede donuts, tog mig så alvorligt.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

So she put out paper,

Så hun fandt papir frem

started jotting down the colors and the rings,

og begyndte at tegne farverne og ringene,

and is like, "How can I make this?"

og var sådan, "Hvordan kan jeg lave dette?"

And then 15 minutes later,

Og 15 minutter senere,

she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings.

kom hun ud med en æske, der lignede de olympiske ringe.

And I was so touched.

Jeg blev så rørt.

I just couldn't believe it.

Jeg kunne simpelthen ikke tro det.

And that video got over five million views on Youtube.

Den video fik over fem millioner views på Youtube.

The world couldn't believe that either.

Verden kunne heller ikke tro det.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

You know, because of that I was in newspapers,

På grund af det kom jeg i aviserne,

in talk shows, in everything.

jeg var i talkshows, i alt.

And I became famous.

Og jeg blev berømt.

A lot of people started writing emails to me

Mange mennesker begyndte at skrive til mig

and saying, "What you're doing is awesome."

og sagde, "Det, du gør, er sejt."

But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me.

Men berømmelse gjorde ikke noget for mig.

What I really wanted to do was learn,

Det, jeg virkelig ville, var at lære,

and to change myself.

og ændre mig selv.

Så jeg gjorde resten af de 100 dages afvisning

So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection

into this playground --

til en legeplads --

into this research project.

til et forskningsprojekt.

I wanted to see what I could learn.

Jeg ville se, hvad jeg kunne lære.

And then I learned a lot of things.

Og jeg lærte en masse ting.

I discovered so many secrets.

Jeg fandt så mange hemmeligheder.

For example, I found if I just don't run,

For eksempel fandt jeg ud af, at hvis jeg bare ikke løber,

if I got rejected,

hvis jeg blev afvist

I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes,"

så kunne jeg forvandle et "nej" til et "ja",

and the magic word is, "why."

og det magiske ord er "hvorfor."

So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand,

En dag tog jeg hen til en fremmeds hus, jeg havde en blomst i min hånd,

knocked on the door and said,

bankede på og sagde,

"Hej, kan jeg plante denne blomst i din baghave?"

"Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"

(Laughter)

(Latter)

And he said, "No."

Og han sagde, "Nej."

But before he could leave I said,

Men før han gik, sagde jeg,

"Hey, can I know why?"

"Hey, må jeg vide hvorfor?"

And he said, "Well, I have this dog

Og han sagde, "Altså jeg har en hund,

that would dig up anything I put in the backyard.

som graver alt op, jeg planter i baghaven.

I don't want to waste your flower.

Jeg vil ikke spilde din blomst.

If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie.

Du kan gå over på den anden side af gaden til Connie.

Hun elsker blomster."

She loves flowers."

So that's what I did.

Så det gjorde jeg.

Jeg gik over og bankede på Connies dør.

I went across and knocked on Connie's door.

And she was so happy to see me.

Og hun var så glad for at se mig.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

And then half an hour later,

Og en halv time senere

there was this flower in Connie's backyard.

var der en blomst i Connies baghave.

Jeg er sikker på, at den ser bedre ud nu.

I'm sure it looks better now.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

But had I left after the initial rejection,

Hvis jeg var gået efter den første afvisning,

I would've thought,

ville jeg have tænkt,

well, it's because the guy didn't trust me,

at det var fordi, fyren ikke stolede på mig,

it's because I was crazy,

fordi at jeg var skør,

because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good.

fordi jeg ikke så godt nok ud.

Det var ikke derfor.

It was none of those.

Det var fordi, det jeg tilbød, ikke passede til det, han manglede.

It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted.

Og han stolede nok på mig til at henvise mig,

And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral,

using a sales term.

for at bruge en salgsterm.

I converted a referral.

Jeg benyttede en henvisning.

Then one day --

Så, en dag --

and I also learned that I can actually say certain things

jeg lærte også, at jeg kan sige visse ting

and maximize my chance to get a yes.

og maksimere min chance for at få et ja.

So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks,

For eksempel gik jeg en dag ind på en Starbucks

and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"

og spurgte manageren, "Hej, må jeg være en Starbucks-hilser?"

He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"

Han spurgte, "Hvad er en Starbucks-hilser?"

I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters?

Jeg sagde, "Kender du Walmart-hilsnere?

Du ved, dem der siger "hej" til dig, før du går ind i forretningen,

You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store,

and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically?

og som sørger for, at du ikke stjæler noget?

I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers."

Jeg vil give en Walmart-oplevelse til Starbucks kunder."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually --

Jeg er faktisk ikke sikker på, at det var en god ting --

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing.

Faktisk er jeg sikker på, at det er en dårlig ting.

And he was like, "Oh" --

Han sagde, "Åh" --

yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric --

ja, han ser sådan ud, hans navn er Eric --

and he was like, "I'm not sure."

og han sagde, "Jeg ved ikke."

Det var sådan, han hørte mig. "Ikke sikker."

This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."

Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"

Så spurgte jeg ham, "Er det sært?"

He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."

Han sagde, "Ja, det er virkeligt sært."

But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed.

Men så snart han sagde det, ændrede hele hans attitude sig.

It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor.

Det var som om, han smed al tvivlen på jorden.

And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,

Og han sagde, "Du kan gøre det,

just don't get too weird."

men bliv ikke for sær."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter.

Så den næste time var jeg Starbucks-hilsneren.

I said "hi" to every customer that walked in,

Jeg sagde "Hej" til alle dem, der kom ind,

and gave them holiday cheers.

og gav dem helligdagshilsner.

By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is,

Forresten, jeg kender kke, jeres karriereplaner,

don't be a greeter.

men bliv ikke en hilser.

(Latter)

(Laughter)

Det var virkelig kedeligt.

It was really boring.

But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"

Men jeg fandt ud af, jeg kunne gøre det, fordi jeg spurgte, "Er det sært?"

I mentioned the doubt that he was having.

Jeg omtalte den tvivl, han havde.

And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird.

Og fordi jeg spurgte, "Er det sært?", betød det, at jeg ikke var sær.

That means I was actually thinking just like him,

Det betød, at jeg tænkte præcis ligesom ham,

seeing this as a weird thing.

jeg betragtede det som en sær ting.

And again, and again,

Og igen og igen lærte jeg,

I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have

at hvis jeg omtaler den tvivl, nogle mennesker måske har,

before I ask the question,

før jeg stiller spørgsmålet,

så vinder jeg deres tillid.

I gained their trust.

People were more likely to say yes to me.

Folk var mere tilbøjelige til at sige ja.

And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ...

Jeg lærte, at jeg kunne opnå min livsdrøm ...

by asking.

ved at spørge.

You know, I came from four generations of teachers,

Jeg kommer fra fire generationer af lærere,

and my grandma has always told me,

og min bedstemor har altid sagt til mig,

"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,

"Jia, du kan gøre, lige hvad du vil,

but it'd be great if you became a teacher."

men det ville være skønt, hvis du blev lærer."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't.

Men jeg ville være en entreprenør.

But it has always been my dream to actually teach something.

Men det har altid været min drøm rent faktisk at undervise i noget.

So I said, "What if I just ask

Så jeg sagde, "Hvad hvis jeg spørger

and teach a college class?"

og underviser en klasse?"

I lived in Austin at the time,

Dengang boede jeg i Austin,

så jeg tog til University of Texas,

so I went to University of Texas at Austin

og bankede på professorernes døre og spurgte, "Må jeg undervise din klasse?"

and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?"

I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times.

Jeg kom ikke nogen vegne de første par gange.

But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it --

Men jeg løb ikke -- jeg blev ved med at prøve --

and on the third try the professor was very impressed.

og på tredje forsøg blev professoren meget imponeret.

He was like, "No one has done this before."

Han sagde, "Ingen har gjort dette før."

And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson.

Jeg kom ind forberedt med powerpoints og min lektion.

He said, "Wow, I can use this.

Han sagde, "Wow, jeg kan bruge det her.

Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum."

Kan du ikke komme igen om to måneder? Så passer jeg det ind i pensum."

And two months later I was teaching a class.

Og to måneder senere underviste jeg en klasse.

This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture.

Det er mig -- det kan være svært at se, det er et dårligt billede.

You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know?

Nogle gange bliver man afvist af belysning.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

But wow --

Men, wow --

when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying,

da jeg afsluttede undervisningen, gik jeg grædende ud,

because I thought

fordi jeg tænkte,

I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking.

at jeg kunne opnå min livsdrøm ved simpelthen bare at spørge.

I used to think I have to accomplish all these things --

Jeg plejede at tænke, jeg skulle opnå alle mulige ting --

have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach --

være en god entreprenør eller få en PhD for at undervise --

but no, I just asked,

men nej, jeg spurgte bare,

and I could teach.

og så underviste jeg.

And in that picture, which you can't see,

Og på det billede, som I ikke kan se,

I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr.

citerede jeg Martin Luther King, Jr.

Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world,

Hvorfor? Fordi i min forskning fandt jeg, at de mennesker som ændrer verden,

who change the way we live and the way we think,

som ændrer vores levemåde, og den måde vi tænker på,

are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections.

er de mennesker, som blev mødt af umiddelbar og ofte voldelige afvisninger.

People like Martin Luther King, Jr.,

Mennesker som Martin Luther King, Jr.,

like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,

Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,

or even Jesus Christ.

endda Jesus Kristus.

These people did not let rejection define them.

De mennesker lod ikke afvisninger definere dem.

They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves.

De lod deres egen reaktion efter en afvisning definere dem selv.

And they embraced rejection.

Og de omfavnede afvisning.

And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection,

Vi behøves ikke være de mennesker for at lære om afvisning,

and in my case,

og i mit tilfælde

rejection was my curse,

var afvisning min forbandelse,

was my boogeyman.

det var mit monster.

It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it.

Det har generet mig hele mit liv, fordi jeg prøvede at løbe væk fra det.

Then I started embracing it.

Så begyndte jeg at omfavne det.

I turned that into the biggest gift in my life.

Jeg gjorde det til den største gave i mit liv.

I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities.

Jeg begyndte at undervise folk i, hvordan afvisninger bliver til muligheder.

I use my blog, I use my talk,

Jeg bruger min blog, jeg bruger taler,

I use the book I just published,

jeg bruger bogen, jeg lige har udgivet,

and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.

og jeg bygger endda teknologi til at hjælpe folk med at overkomme deres frygt for afvisning.

When you get rejected in life,

Når du bliver afvist i livet,

when you are facing the next obstacle

når du står over for den næste udfordring

or next failure,

eller den næste fiasko,

consider the possibilities.

så overvej mulighederne.

Don't run.

Løb ikke.

If you just embrace them,

Hvis du bare omfavner dem,

they might become your gifts as well.

kan de måske også blive dine gaver.

Thank you.

Tak.

(Bifald)

(Applause)