What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED

Translator: Aziza Pulatova Reviewer: Nazarbek Nazarov

When I was six years old,

Men 6 yoshligimda

I received my gifts.

sovg'alar oldim.

My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea.

Mening boshlang’ich sinf o’qituvchimda shunday hayrotomuz g’oya tug'ildi.

She wanted us to experience receiving gifts

U bizni sov’g’alar olish hissiyotini tuyishimiz bilan birga

but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other.

bir-birimizni maqtashning yaxshi tomonini o’rganishimizni istadi.

So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom,

Ustozim barchamizni sinfxona oldiga jamladi, hammamizga

and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner.

sovg’alar sotib olib, ularni burchakka terib qo’ygan edi.

And she said,

Va u: "Shu yerda turib

"Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other?

bir-birimizni yaxshi so’zlar bilan siylasak-chi?” dedi.

If you hear your name called,

O’z ismingizni eshitsangiz,

go and pick up your gift and sit down."

sovg’angizni olishga borasiz, so’ng o’tirasiz.

What a wonderful idea, right?

Ajoyib g’oya, to’g’rimi?

What could go wrong?

Nima o'xshamasligi mumkin?

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Well, there were 40 of us to start with,

Xo’sh, dastlab biz 40 kishi edik,

and every time I heard someone's name called,

va men har gal kimnidir ismini eshitishim bilan

I would give out the heartiest cheer.

shodligimdan uree deb yuborardim.

And then there were 20 people left,

So’ng 20 kishi qoldi,

and 10 people left,

keyin 10 kishi,

and five left ...

undan keyin 5 kishi…

and three left.

nihoyat 3 kishi.

And I was one of them.

Va ulardan biri men edim.

And the compliments stopped.

Yoqimli so’zlar ulashish to’xtadi.

Well, at that moment, I was crying.

Men o’sha daqiqada yig’layotgan edim.

And the teacher was freaking out.

Ustozning hafsalasi pir bo’lib,

She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"

“Kimdir bu insonlar haqida ham biror iliq so’z aytadimi?”

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

"No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down.

“Hech kim? Mayli, sovg’angizni olingda, joyingizga o'tiring.

So behave next year --

O’zingizni yaxshi tuting,

someone might say something nice about you."

kelasi yil kimdir siz haqda iliq so’z aytar.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Well, as I'm describing this you,

Tasvirlab berishimdan

you probably know I remember this really well.

buni juda yaxshi esga olishimni bilgandirsiz.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

But I don't know who felt worse that day.

Biroq o’sha kuni kim o’zini yomonroq his

Was it me or the teacher?

qilganini bilmayman. Menmi yoki o’qituvchi?

She must have realized that she turned a team-building event

U jamoani shakllantirish jarayonini 3 nafar 6 yasharlik bolalar

into a public roast for three six-year-olds.

uchun hajviy ko’rsatuvga aylantirganini tushungandir.

And without the humor.

Biroq bu kulgili emasdi.

You know, when you see people get roasted on TV,

Televizorda odamlar ustidan hazil qilishsa,

it was funny.

miriqib kulardingiz.

There was nothing funny about that day.

Bu kun haqida biror kulgili narsani

So that was one version of me,

eslolmayman. Bu mening bir ko’rinishim edi

and I would die to avoid being in that situation again --

va bu vaziyatga, omma oldida rad etilishga qayta duch kelmaslik uchun

to get rejected in public again.

o’limga ham tayyor edim.

That's one version.

Bu bir ko’rinishim.

Then fast-forward eight years.

Shiddatli sakkiz yildan so’ng,

Bill Gates came to my hometown --

shaxrimizga—Beijing, Xitoyga Bill Geyts

Beijing, China --

nutq so’zlash uchun

to speak,

tashrif buyurdi

and I saw his message.

va men uning nutqini eshitdim.

I fell in love with that guy.

Bu kishi menga yoqib qoldi.

I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now.

Endi men nima qilishni istashimni bilaman, deb o’yladim.

That night I wrote a letter to my family

O’sha kecha oilamga shunday xat yozdim

telling them: "By age 25,

"25 yoshimgacha

I will build the biggest company in the world,

dunyodagi eng katta kompaniyani quraman

and that company will buy Microsoft."

va bu kompaniya Microsoftni sotib oladi."

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world --

Men dunyoni zabt etish g’oyasiga tamoman yopishib oldim.

domination, right?

dominantlik, to’g’rimi?

And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter.

buni ichimdan to’qiganim yo’q, o’sha xatni yozgandim.

And here it is --

Mana o’sha xat.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

You don't have to read this through --

Buni o’qib chiqishingiz shart emas

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words.

Qolaversa, bu yomon husnixat, lekin ba’zi muhim so’zlarni belgilab

You get the idea.

qo’ydim. Tushunib oldiz.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

So ...

Shunday qilib ...

that was another version of me:

bu boshqa bir ko'rinishim edi.

one who will conquer the world.

dunyoni zabt etuvchi.

Well, then two years later,

Xo’sh, ikki yildan so’ng

I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States.

menga Amerikaga borish imkoniyati taqdim etildi.

I jumped on it,

Darhol rozi bo’ldim,

because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?

chunki u yerda Bill Geyts yashaydi, to’g’rimi?

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey.

Bu biznesdagi ilk sayohatim, deb o’yladim.

Then, fast-forward another 14 years.

So’ng, keyingi shiddatli 14 yil.

I was 30.

30 yoshda edim.

Nope, I didn't build that company.

Yo’q, o’sha kompaniyani qurmadim.

I didn't even start.

Hatto boshladim ham.

I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company.

Men o'zi Fortune 500 kompaniyalaridan birida marketing menejer bo'lib ishlardim.

And I felt I was stuck;

Bir yerda turib qolganimni bildim.

I was stagnant.

Bir yerda qotib qoldim.

Why is that?

Nega?

Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter?

O’sha xatni yozgan 14 yoshli bola qani?

It's not because he didn't try.

Bunga sabab uning urinib

It's because every time I had a new idea,

ko’rmaganligi emas. Bunga sabab har safar menda yangi g'oya

every time I wanted to try something new,

uyg’onganida, biror yangi narsaga urinib

even at work --

ko’rishni istaganimda,

I wanted to make a proposal,

hatto ishda ham taklif berishni

I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group --

istardim guruhda odamlar orasida o’z fikrimni bildirishni istardim

I felt there was this constant battle

o’sha 14 yashar va 6 yashar o’rtasida

between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old.

doimiy kurash mavjudligini his qildim.

One wanted to conquer the world --

Biri dunyoni zabt etishni,

make a difference --

o’zgarish qilishni istasa,

another was afraid of rejection.

boshqa biri esa rad javobidan qo’rqadi.

And every time that six-year-old won.

Va har gal o’sha 6 yashar yutib keldi.

And this fear even persisted after I started my own company.

Bu qo’rquv hatto o’z kompaniyamni yaratganimda ham meni tark etmadi.

I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 --

Ha, 30 yoshligimda o’z kompaniyamga ega bo’ldim. Agar Bill Geyts

if you want to be Bill Gates,

bo’lishni xohlasangiz,

you've got to start sooner or later, right?

ertami-kechmi boshlashingiz kerak tog’rimi?

When I was an entrepreneur,

Tadbirkorlik faoliyatim davomida

I was presented with an investment opportunity,

sarmoya kiritish imkoniyatini qo'lga kiritdim,

and then I was turned down.

keyinroq esa rad etildim.

And that rejection hurt me.

Bu rad javobi menga azob berdi.

It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there.

Shunchalik qattiq azoblandimki, shundayoq hammasidan voz kechishni istadim.

But then I thought,

Ammo sal o’tib o’yladim.

hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection?

Bill Geyts oddiygina sarmoya kiritishdan rad etilish tufayli ortga chekinardimi?

Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that?

Har qanday muvaffaqiyatli tadbirkor shu tariqa chekinadimi?

No way.

Aslo.

And this is where it clicked for me.

Ana shunda men buni anglab yetdim.

OK, I can build a better company.

Ok, yaxshi kompaniya qura olaman.

I can build a better team or better product,

Yaxshi jamoa yoki yaxshi mahsulot yaratishim

but one thing for sure:

mumkin, biroq shu narsa aniqki,

I've got to be a better leader.

men yaxshi lider bo’lishim kerak.

I've got to be a better person.

Yaxshi inson bo’lishim zarur.

I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore.

Men buyog’iga o’sha 6 yashar hayotimda hukmronlik qilishiga ortiq qo’yib

I have to put him back in his place.

bermayman. Uni o’z joyiga qaytarishim kerak.

So this is where I went online and looked for help.

Shunday qilib onlayn ko’mak izlay boshladim.

Google was my friend.

Google mening do’stim edi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?"

“Qanday qilib rad etilish qo’rquvini yengga olaman?”

I came up with a bunch of psychology articles

deb qidiruv berdim. Qo’rquv va azoblar qanday paydo bo’lishi

about where the fear and pain are coming from.

haqidagi bir qancha psixologik maqolalarga ko’zim tushdi.

Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articles

So’ng bir qancha “Har narsani o’zingga olaverma, shunchaki yengib o’t”

about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it."

shunga o’xshash ruhlantiruvchi maqolalarni ko’rdim.

Who doesn't know that?

Buni kim ham bilmaydi?

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

But why was I still so scared?

Biroq nega hanuz qo’rquvdaman?

Then I found this website by luck.

So’ngra omadim kelib shu vebsaytni topdim.

It's called rejectiontherapy.com.

U radetilishterapiyasi.com deb nomlangan.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

"Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.

"Rad etilish Terapiyasi" bu kanadalik tadbirkor tomonidan yaratilgan o’yin.

His name is Jason Comely.

Uning ismi Jeyson Komeli.

And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection,

Bu g’oyaning mag’zi shunday: siz 30 kun davomida rad etilish uchun biror narsa

and every day get rejected at something,

izlaysiz har kuni biror narsada rad etilasiz

and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain.

va oqibatda bu azob sizga begona bo’ladi.

And I loved that idea.

Bu g’oya menga yoqib tushdi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this.

O’zimga shunday dedim, “Bilasanmi? Men buni

And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days."

qilmoqchiman va o'zim rad etilish hissini 100 kun tuymoqchiman.

And I came up with my own rejection ideas,

Rad javobini olish uchun o’z g’oyalarimni yaratdim

and I made a video blog out of it.

va undan video blog tayyorladim.

And so here's what I did.

Mana bu mening ishlarim.

This is what the blog looked like.

Blog shunday ko’rinishda edi.

Day One ...

Birinchi kun ...

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.

Notanish kishidan 100 dollar qarz olish.

So this is where I went to where I was working.

Ishlayotgan joyimga bordim.

I came downstairs

Zinadan tushdim va

and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk.

stol ortida o’tirgan gavdali kishini ko’rdim.

He looked like a security guard.

U qo’riqchiga o’xshab ko’rindi.

So I just approached him.

Shu sababdan unga yaqinlashdim.

And I was just walking

Yurib boryapman

and that was the longest walk of my life --

va bu umrimdagi eng uzun yo’l edi, bo'ynimning

hair on the back of my neck standing up,

orqa qismidagi tuklar tik holatda,

I was sweating and my heart was pounding.

terlayotgandim, yuragim esa gupirlab urardi.

And I got there and said,

Borib shunday dedim

"Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"

“Hoy, janob 100 dollar qarz bera olasizmi?”

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

And he looked up, he's like, "No."

U menga qarab “Yo’q.”

"Why?"

“Nega?” dedi

And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."

Men esa “Yo’qmi? Kechirasiz.” dedim. So'ng esa

Then I turned around, and I just ran.

orqamga o’girilib, qochib qoldim.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I felt so embarrassed.

Juda xijolat tortdim.

But because I filmed myself --

O’zimni videoga olgandim,

so that night I was watching myself getting rejected,

o’sha kecha o’zimni rad javobi olganimni ko’rayotgandim.

I just saw how scared I was.

O’zimni qanchalik qo’rquvga tushganimni

I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense."

ko'rdim. Men xuddi “The 6th Sense” filmidagi boladek

I saw dead people.

edim. Men arvohlarni ko’rdim.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

But then I saw this guy.

Keyin o’sha kishini ko’rdim.

You know, he wasn't that menacing.

Bilasizmi, u unchalik qo’rqinchli emasdi

He was a chubby, loveable guy,

U to’lachadan kelgan, yoqimtoy yigit edi.

and he even asked me, "Why?"

va u hatto mendan “Nega?” deb so’radi.

In fact, he invited me to explain myself.

Rostdan ham, u buni tushuntirib berishimni so’radi.

And I could've said many things.

Ko’p narsalar aytishim mumkin edi.

I could've explained, I could've negotiated.

Tushuntirib berishim mumkin edi. U bilan kelishib

I didn't do any of that.

olishim mumkin edi. Bularning

All I did was run.

birortasini qilmadim. Qo’limdan

I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life.

kelgani yugurish bo'ldi. Bu xuddi hayotimning mikrodunyosiga

Every time I felt the slightest rejection,

o’xshashini his qildim. Har gal rad etilishimni his

I would just run as fast as I could.

qildimmi, oyog’imni qo’limga olib yuguraman.

And you know what?

Bilasizmi nima?

The next day, no matter what happens,

Keyingi safar nima bo’lishidan qat’iy

I'm not going to run.

nazar, hech qayerga ketmayman.

I'll stay engaged.

Vaziyatni qo’lga olaman.

Day Two: Request a "burger refill."

2-kun: “Burger to’ldirish” imkonini so’rash

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

It's when I went to a burger joint,

Burger oshxonasiga borib, tushlikni yeb oldim

I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said,

va kassir oldiga borib, shunday dedim:

"Hi, can I get a burger refill?"

Salom, burger to’ldirib berasizmi?

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"

U chalkashib ketdi. “Burger to’ldirish nima degani?”

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger."

Shunday dedim “Xo’sh, bu xuddi ichimlik to’ldirib berishga o’xshaydi, lekin

And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."

o’rniga burger” U: “Uzr, bizda burger to’ldirishning

(Laughter)

imkoni yo’q” dedi. (Kulgu)

So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed.

Ana shunda rad javobini oldim. Ketib qolsam bo’lardi, biroq bunday qilmadim.

I said, "Well, I love your burgers,

Shunday dedim, “Burgerlaring menga yoqadi,

I love your joint,

oshxonangiz ham chakkimas,

and if you guys do a burger refill,

burger to’ldirish imkoniyatini berganlaringda

I will love you guys more."

sizlarni yanada yaxshi

(Laughter)

ko'rardim. (Kulgu)

And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it,

U esa “Mayli, menejerimga buni aytaman, ehtimol

and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today."

bunday imkoniyat berilar, ammo bugun qila olmaymiz” dedi.

Then I left.

Keyin ketdim.

And by the way,

Ha aytgancha, menimcha ular hech qachon

I don't think they've ever done burger refill.

burger to’ldirish imkoniyatini joriy etmagan.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I think they're still there.

Menimcha, ular hali ham

But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time

ishlamoqda. Biroq, ilk marotaba men his etgan hayot-mamot tuyg’usi

was no longer there,

endi yo’q,

just because I stayed engaged --

negaki vaziyatni o’z qo’limga oldim,

because I didn't run.

chunki ketib qolmadim.

I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things.

O’zimga “Ajoyib, men allaqachon buni o’rganyapman.

Great."

Zo’r” dedim. So'ng 3-kun:

And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts.

Olimpiya donutlariga ega bo’lish.

This is where my life was turned upside down.

Ana shunda hayotim butunlay o’zgarib ketdi.

I went to a Krispy Kreme.

Krispi Kremega bordim.

It's a doughnut shop

U Qo’shma Shtatlarning

in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States.

janubi-sharqiy qismida joylashgan donutlar do’koni edi.

I'm sure they have some here, too.

Ular bu yerda ham borligiga ishonchim

And I went in,

komil. Ichkariga kirib:

I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols?

“Olimpiya simvollariga o’xshash donut tayyorlab bera olasizmi?

Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... "

Oddiy qilib aytganda, 5 ta donutni birlashtirasiz…” dedim.

I mean there's no way they could say yes, right?

Ularning bunga rozi bo’lmaydi, to’g’rimi?

The doughnut maker took me so seriously.

Donut tayyorlovchi meni o’ta jiddiy qabul qildi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

So she put out paper,

U qo’liga qog’oz olib,

started jotting down the colors and the rings,

uning ranglari va halqalarini yoza boshladi.

and is like, "How can I make this?"

“Buni qanday tayyorlashim mumkin?” dedi.

And then 15 minutes later,

15 daqiqadan so’ng esa,

she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings.

u qo’lida Olimpiya halqalariga o’xshash quti bilan chiqdi.

And I was so touched.

Juda hayajonda edim.

I just couldn't believe it.

Bunga ishona olmasdim.

And that video got over five million views on Youtube.

Men o’sha kun olgan video esa Youtubeda besh million kuzatuvchiga ega bo’ldi.

The world couldn't believe that either.

Dunyo ham bunga ishona olmayotgan edi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

You know, because of that I was in newspapers,

Shu sababdan men gazetalar, tok-shoular, barchasining

in talk shows, in everything.

mavzusiga aylandim.

And I became famous.

Shu tariqa mashhur bo’ldim.

A lot of people started writing emails to me

Ko’plab insonlar email orqali: “Qilayotgan

and saying, "What you're doing is awesome."

ishlaringiz hayratlanarli” deb yoza boshlashdi.

But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me.

Biroq bilasizmi, shon-shuhrat va mashhurlik menga hech narsa bermadi.

What I really wanted to do was learn,

Mening chin istagim o’zimni o’rganish

and to change myself.

va o’zgartirish edi.

So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection

Shu tariqa men 100 kunlik rad etilishni

into this playground --

o’yin maydoniga, tadqiqot

into this research project.

loyihasiga aylantirdim. Nima o'rgana olishim

I wanted to see what I could learn.

mumkinligini ko’rmoqchi edim.

And then I learned a lot of things.

Natijada ko’p narsalar o'rgandim.

I discovered so many secrets.

Ko’plab sirlardan boxabar bo'ldim.

For example, I found if I just don't run,

Misol uchun, shunga amin bo’ldimki, agar men chekinmasam,

if I got rejected,

rad javobini olsm, "yo'q"ni

I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes,"

“ha” ga aylantira olishim mumkin.

and the magic word is, "why."

Sehrli so’z esa, “nega?”

So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand,

Bir kuni qo’limda gul bilan bir notanish kishining uyiga bordim, eshikni

knocked on the door and said,

taqillatib, shunday dedim:

"Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"

shu gulni sizning tomorqangizda eksam bo’ladimi?

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

And he said, "No."

U esa “Yo’q” dedi. Eshikni yopishidan

But before he could leave I said,

oldin unga shunday dedim

"Hey, can I know why?"

“Negaligini bilsam bo’ladimi?

And he said, "Well, I have this dog

U “Tomorqaga ekkan hamma narsani

that would dig up anything I put in the backyard.

payhon qilib yuboradigan itim bor.” dedi. Gulingiz

I don't want to waste your flower.

isrof bo’lishini xohlamayman.

If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie.

Gul ekmoqchi bo’lsangiz, ko’chani kesib o’tib Konniga ayting.

She loves flowers."

U gullarni yoqtiradi.

So that's what I did.

Xuddi shunday qildim.

I went across and knocked on Connie's door.

Ko’chani kesib o’tib, Konnining eshigini

And she was so happy to see me.

qoqdim. U meni ko’rib quvonib ketdi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

And then half an hour later,

Va yarim soatdan so’ng

there was this flower in Connie's backyard.

Konnining tomorqasida shu gul paydo bo’ldi.

I'm sure it looks better now.

Hozir uning yaxshiroqligiga

(Laughter)

ishonchim komil. (Kulgu)

But had I left after the initial rejection,

Biroq, ilk rad etilishdayoq ortga chekinganimda

I would've thought,

U kishi menga ishonmadi,

well, it's because the guy didn't trust me,

negaki men ahmoqman,

it's because I was crazy,

tuzuk kiyinmaganligim,

because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good.

yaxshi ko’rinishda bo’lmaganim uchun deb o’ylardim.

It was none of those.

Bular sababli emas. Sababi

It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted.

men taklif etgan narsa uning istagi bilan mos kelmagan-

And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral,

-ligida edi. U menga ishonch bildirib, kelishuv

using a sales term.

qoidalariga asosan yo'l ko'rsatdi.

I converted a referral.

Men yo’nalishni o’zgartirdim.

Then one day --

Kunlardan bir kun

and I also learned that I can actually say certain things

so’zlarim bilan ha javobini olish imkoniyatini

and maximize my chance to get a yes.

oshirish mumkinligini bilib oldim.

So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks,

Misol uchun bir kuni Starbucksga bordim

and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"

va menejerdan “Starbucks mezboni bo’lsam maylimi? deb so'radim.

He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"

U shunday ohangda “Starbaks mezboni, u nima degani?

I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters?

“Wallmart mezbonlarini bilasizmi?” dedim.

You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store,

Bilasizmi, ular do’konga kirishingizdan oldin sizga salom beradi va

and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically?

aslida hech narsa o’g’irlamasligingizga ishonch

I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers."

hosil qilishadi? Starbucks xaridorlariga Wallmart ruhini ulashaman.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually --

Xo’sh, bu yaxshi fikrligiga ishonchim komil emas.

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing.

Aslida, bu yaxshimasligini aniq bilaman.

And he was like, "Oh" --

U esa qarab, “Ha”

yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric --

Uning ismi Erik,

and he was like, "I'm not sure."

“Bilmasam.” dedi. U meni shu

This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."

tariqa tinglayotgan edi. “Bilmasam.”

Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"

Undan “Bu g’alatimi?”deb so’radim.

He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."

U esa “Bu judayam g’alati.” dedi.

But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed.

Biroq shuni aytishi bilan uning munosabati butunlay o’zgardi.

It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor.

Aftidan, u barcha shubhalarini chetga surib qo’ydi.

And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,

U “Mezbon bo’lishingiz mumkin, lekin

just don't get too weird."

o’ta g’alati tuyulmasin”

(Laughter)

dedi. (Kulgu)

So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter.

Keyin 1 soat davomida Starbucksga mezbonlik qildim.

I said "hi" to every customer that walked in,

Tashrif buyurgan har bir xaridorga

and gave them holiday cheers.

salom berib, dam olish kuni zavqini ulashdim.

By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is,

Ha aytgancha, sizning qaysi kasbga yo’nalganligingizni

don't be a greeter.

bilmayman, mezbonlik

(Laughter)

qilmang. (Kulgu)

It was really boring.

Bu o’ta zerikarli edi.

But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"

Bu qo’limdan kelishini angladim, chunki men “Bu g’alatimi?” deb so’radim.

I mentioned the doubt that he was having.

Men undagi shubhani tilga oldim.

And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird.

“Bu g’alatimi?” deb so’rashim g’alati kishi emasligimni anglatadi.

That means I was actually thinking just like him,

Bu aslida xuddi unga o’xshab fikrlayotganimni, bunga

seeing this as a weird thing.

g’alati narsa sifatida qarayotganimni anglatadi.

And again, and again,

Qayta-qayta shunga amin

I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have

bo'ldimki, savol so’rashdan oldin odamlarda mavjud bo’lishi mumkin

before I ask the question,

bo'lgan shubhani aytganimda, ularning

I gained their trust.

ishonchini qozondim.

People were more likely to say yes to me.

Menga ha deb javobini berish ehtimolli

And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ...

oshdi. So’rash orqali hayotimdagi orzularga erishishim mumkinligiga

by asking.

amin bo’ldim..

You know, I came from four generations of teachers,

Mening to’rt avlodim o’qituvchilik qilgan,

and my grandma has always told me,

buvim menga doim shunday der edilar,

"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,

“Jia, seni qo’lingdan hamma narsa keladi,

but it'd be great if you became a teacher."

lekin o’qituvchi bo’lsang zo’r bo’lardi”

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't.

Biroq men tadbirkor bo’lishni istagandim,

But it has always been my dream to actually teach something.

o'qituvchi bo'lmadim. Lekin ta’lim berish bir umrlik orzuyim edi.

So I said, "What if I just ask

“Kollejda dars berishni

and teach a college class?"

so’rab ko’rsamchi?” dedim. O'sha paytlar

I lived in Austin at the time,

Ostinda yashardim. Shu sabab

so I went to University of Texas at Austin

Ostindagi Texas Universitetiga borib

and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?"

professor eshigini qoqdim, “Talabalaringizga dars o’tsam bo’ladimi?”

I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times.

deb so'radim. 1-2 urinishda hech narsaga erishmadim.

But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it --

Chekinmay, davom ettirdim.

and on the third try the professor was very impressed.

Va uchinchi urinishimda professorni lol qoldirdim.

He was like, "No one has done this before."

U “Hali hech kim bunday qilmagan” dedi.

And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson.

Slaydlarim va darslarim bilan tayyorlanib kelar edim.

He said, "Wow, I can use this.

U “Qoyil, bularni ishlata olaman. Ikki oydan

Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum."

so’ng kelsangizchi? Sizni o’quv dasturimga joylashtiraman.” dedi.

And two months later I was teaching a class.

Va ikki oydan so’ng, men o’qita boshladim.

This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture.

Bu men. Ehtimol, meni ko’ra olmaysiz. Yomon surat.

You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know?

Bilasizmi, ba’zida yorug’lik sizni rad etadi?

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

But wow --

Lekin...

when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying,

Darsni tugatib, u yerdan ko’zimda yosh bilan chiqdim.

because I thought

Chunki, bor yog’i so'rash

I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking.

orqali hayotdagi orzularimga erishish mumkinligi haqida o’yladim.

I used to think I have to accomplish all these things --

Men har doim bularning barchasini bajarishim kerak,

have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach --

ya’ni eng zo’r tadbirkor bo’lishim yoki o’qitish uchun PhD olishim kerak deb

but no, I just asked,

o'ylardim. Yo’q, men shunchaki

and I could teach.

so'radim va o’qita oldim.

And in that picture, which you can't see,

Sizga yaxshi ko’rinmayotgan ushbu rasmda

I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Lyuter King iqtibosini keltirgandim.

Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world,

Nega deysizmi? Chunki o’z tadqiqotimda shunga amin bo’ldimki, dunyoni o'zgartira

who change the way we live and the way we think,

oladigan, yashash tarzimiz va fikrlash tarzimizni

are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections.

o’zgartiruvchi insonlar ilk va qattiq tanqidga uchragan insonlar bo’lishgan.

People like Martin Luther King, Jr.,

Martin Lyuter King,

like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,

Mahatma Gandi, Nelson Mandela kabi insonlar

or even Jesus Christ.

va hatto Iso Masih ham.

These people did not let rejection define them.

Bu insonlar ularning aslida qanday insonligini rad javobi aniqlashiga

They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves.

qo'yib bermadi. Rad etilishdan so‘ng unga bildirgan munosabati ularning aslida

And they embraced rejection.

kimligini aniqlashga qo'yib berdi

And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection,

Ular rad etilishga iliq qarashgan. Rad etilishdan saboq olish uchun

and in my case,

bu insonlar kabi bo'lish

rejection was my curse,

shart emas va mening vaziyatimda rad javobi

was my boogeyman.

menga tekkan la'nat,

It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it.

mening qo’rquvim edi. U meni butun umr ta’qib etdi, men esa undan qochayotgandim.

Then I started embracing it.

So’ng men u bilan kelishishni boshlab

I turned that into the biggest gift in my life.

uni hayotimdagi eng katta tuhfaga aylantirdim.

I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities.

Rad etilish qanday qilib imkoniyatga ayla- nishi mumkinligi haqda o’rgata boshladim.

I use my blog, I use my talk,

Insonlarga rad etilish qo’rquvini yengish

I use the book I just published,

uchun yordam berishda blogimdan, nutq va

and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.

yaqinda chop etilgan kitobdan, hatto bu uchun hozirda yaratayotgan texnologiyamdan

When you get rejected in life,

foydalanaman. Hayotda rad etilganda,

when you are facing the next obstacle

keyingi safar qiyinchilik yoki

or next failure,

mag’lubiyatga uchraganingizda, uning

consider the possibilities.

imkoniyatlari haqida o’ylab ko’ring.

Don't run.

Chekinmang. Agar u bilan

If you just embrace them,

iliqlik o’rnatsangiz,

they might become your gifts as well.

u sizning ham tuhfangizga aylanishi mumkin.

Thank you.

Rahmat.

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)