Roberto D'Angelo + Francesca Fedeli: In our baby's illness, a life lesson

122,238 views ใƒป 2013-07-24

TED


ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

ืžืชืจื’ื: Shlomo Adam ืžื‘ืงืจ: Ido Dekkers
00:13
Francesca Fedeli: Ciao.
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ืคืจื ืฆ'ืกืงื” ืคื“ืœื™: ืฆ'ืื•.
00:15
So he's Mario. He's our son.
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ื–ื”ื• ืžืจื™ื•. ื”ื•ื ื”ื‘ืŸ ืฉืœื ื•.
00:18
He was born two and a half years ago,
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ื”ื•ื ื ื•ืœื“ ืœืคื ื™ ืฉื ืชื™ื™ื ื•ื—ืฆื™,
00:21
and I had a pretty tough pregnancy
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ื•ื”ื™ื” ืœื™ ื”ืจื™ื•ืŸ ืงืฉื” ืœืžื“ื™
00:25
because I had to stay still in a bed for, like, eight months.
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ื›ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื—ื™ื™ื‘ืช ืœื”ื™ืฉืืจ ื‘ืžื™ื˜ื” ื‘ืœื™ ืชื–ื•ื–ื” ื‘ืžืฉืš ื›-8 ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื.
00:29
But in the end everything seemed to be under control.
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ืกื•ืฃ ื ืจืื” ืฉื”ื›ืœ ื‘ืฉืœื™ื˜ื”.
00:32
So he got the right weight at birth.
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ื”ื•ื ื ื•ืœื“ ื‘ืžืฉืงืœ ื”ื ื›ื•ืŸ.
00:35
He got the right Apgar index.
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ื”ื•ื ืงื™ื‘ืœ ืืช ืฆื™ื•ืŸ ืืคื’ืืจ ื”ื ื›ื•ืŸ.
00:37
So we were pretty reassured by this.
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ื•ืœื›ืŸ ื”ื™ื™ื ื• ื“ื™ ืจื’ื•ืขื™ื.
00:40
But at the end, 10 days later after he was born,
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ, 10 ื™ืžื™ื ืื—ืจื™ ืฉื”ื•ื ื ื•ืœื“,
00:47
we discovered that he had a stroke.
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ื’ื™ืœื™ื ื• ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื• ืฉื‘ืฅ ืžื•ื—ื™.
00:49
As you might know,
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ื›ืคื™ ืฉืืชื ืื•ืœื™ ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื,
00:51
a stroke is a brain injury.
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ืฉื‘ืฅ ื”ื•ื ืคื’ื™ืขื” ืžื•ื—ื™ืช.
00:54
A perinatal stroke could be something
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ืฉื‘ืฅ ืคืจื”-ืœื™ื“ืชื™ ื”ื•ื ืžืฉื”ื•
00:56
that can happen during the nine months of pregnancy
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ืฉืขืœื•ืœ ืœืงืจื•ืช ื‘ืžื”ืœืš ืชืฉืขืช ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ ื”ื”ืจื™ื•ืŸ
01:00
or just suddenly after the birth,
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ืื• ืœืคืชืข, ืื—ืจื™ ื”ืœื™ื“ื”,
01:03
and in his case, as you can see,
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ื•ื‘ืžืงืจื” ืฉืœื•, ื›ืคื™ ืฉืืชื ืจื•ืื™ื,
01:06
the right part of his brain has gone.
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ื”ื—ืœืง ื”ื™ืžื ื™ ื‘ืžื•ื—ื• ืื™ื ื ื•.
01:10
So the effect that this stroke could have on Mario's body
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ื›ืš ืฉื”ืฉืคืขืช ื”ืฉื‘ืฅ ื”ื–ื” ืขืœ ื’ื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ืžืจื™ื• ืขืœื•ืœื” ืœื”ื™ื•ืช
01:15
could be the fact that he couldn't be able to control
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ืฉื”ื•ื ืœื ื™ื•ื›ืœ ืœืฉืœื•ื˜
01:19
the left side of his body.
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ื‘ืฆื“ ืฉืžืืœ ืฉืœ ื’ื•ืคื•.
01:21
Just imagine, if you have a computer and a printer
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ืชืืจื• ืœืขืฆืžื›ื ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื›ื ืžื—ืฉื‘ ืขื ืžื“ืคืกืช
01:25
and you want to transmit, to input to print out a document,
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ื•ืืชื ืจื•ืฆื™ื ืœืฉืœื•ื— ื”ื“ืคืกื” ืฉืœ ืžืกืžืš,
01:29
but the printer doesn't have the right drives,
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ืื‘ืœ ืœืžื“ืคืกืช ืื™ืŸ ืžื ื”ืœื™ ื”ืชืงื ื™ื ืžืชืื™ืžื™ื,
01:33
so the same is for Mario.
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ื›ืš ื–ื” ืขื ืžืจื™ื•.
01:36
It's just like, he would like to move his left side
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ื”ื•ื ืขืฉื•ื™ ืœืจืฆื•ืช ืœื”ื–ื™ื– ืืช ืฆื“ ืฉืžืืœ
01:39
of his body, but he's not able to transmit the right input
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ืฉืœ ื’ื•ืคื•, ืื‘ืœ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืฉื’ืจ ืืช ื”ื”ื•ืจืื•ืช ื”ืžืชืื™ืžื•ืช
01:43
to move his left arm and left leg.
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื ื™ืข ืืช ื™ื“ ืฉืžืืœ ื•ืืช ืจื’ืœ ืฉืžืืœ.
01:48
So life had to change.
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ืื– ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ื”ื™ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœื”ืฉืชื ื•ืช.
01:50
We needed to change our schedule.
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ื”ื™ื” ืขืœื™ื ื• ืœืฉื ื•ืช ืืช ืกื“ืจ ื”ื™ื•ื ืฉืœื ื•.
01:52
We needed to change the impact that this birth had
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ืœื”ืฉืชื ื•ืช ืœืคื™ ื”ื”ืฉืคืขื” ืฉื”ื™ืชื” ืœืœื™ื“ื” ื”ื–ื•
01:58
on our life.
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ืขืœ ื—ื™ื™ื ื•.
02:00
Roberto D'Angelo: As you may imagine,
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ืจื•ื‘ืจื˜ื• ื“'ืื ื’'ืœื•: ื›ืคื™ ืฉืืชื ื•ื“ืื™ ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื,
02:02
unfortunately, we were not ready.
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ืœืžืจื‘ื” ื”ืฆืขืจ, ืœื ื”ื™ื™ื ื• ืžื•ื›ื ื™ื.
02:05
Nobody taught us how to deal with such kinds of disabilities,
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ืื™ืฉ ืœื ืœื™ืžื“ ืื•ืชื ื• ืื™ืš ืœื”ืชืžื•ื“ื“ ืขื ืžื•ื’ื‘ืœื•ืช ื›ื–ื•,
02:09
and as many questions as possible started
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ื•ื›ืœ ื”ืฉืืœื•ืช ื”ืืคืฉืจื™ื•ืช
02:11
to come to our minds.
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ื”ื—ืœื• ืœืขืœื•ืช ื‘ื“ืขืชื ื•.
02:13
And that has been really a tough time.
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ื•ื–ื• ื”ื™ืชื” ื‘ืืžืช ืชืงื•ืคื” ืงืฉื”.
02:16
Questions, some basics, like, you know,
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ืฉืืœื•ืช, ื—ืœืงืŸ ื‘ืกื™ืกื™ื•ืช, ื›ื’ื•ืŸ,
02:18
why did this happen to us?
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ืžื“ื•ืข ื–ื” ืงืจื” ืœื ื•?
02:20
And what went wrong?
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ืžื” ื”ืฉืชื‘ืฉ?
02:22
Some more tough, like, really,
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ื•ื—ืœืงืŸ ืงืฉื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ, ื›ืžื•,
02:25
what will be the impact on Mario's life?
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ืžื” ืชื”ื™ื” ื”ื”ืฉืคืขื” ืขืœ ื—ื™ื™ื• ืฉืœ ืžืจื™ื•?
02:27
I mean, at the end, will he be able to work?
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ื›ืœื•ืžืจ, ื”ืื ื”ื•ื ื™ื•ื›ืœ ืœืขื‘ื•ื“?
ื”ืื ื”ื•ื ื™ื”ื™ื” ื ื•ืจืžืœื™?
02:29
Will he be able to be normal?
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02:30
And, you know, as a parent, especially for the first time,
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ื•ื›ื”ื•ืจื™ื, ื‘ืžื™ื•ื—ื“ ืขื ื”ื™ืœื“ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ,
02:33
why is he not going to be better than us?
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ืžื“ื•ืข ื”ื•ื ืœื ื™ื”ื™ื” ื˜ื•ื‘ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžืื™ืชื ื•?
02:37
And this, indeed, really is tough to say,
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ื•ื–ื”, ื‘ืืžืช, ื“ื‘ืจ ืฉืงืฉื” ืžืื“ ืœื•ืžืจ,
02:40
but a few months later, we realized that
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ืื‘ืœ ืื—ืจื™ ื›ืžื” ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื ื”ื‘ื ื•
02:43
we were really feeling like a failure.
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ืฉืื ื• ืžืžืฉ ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื™ื ืฉื ื›ืฉืœื ื•.
02:46
I mean, the only real product of our life,
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ืฉื”ืชื•ืฆืจ ื”ืืžื™ืชื™ ื”ื™ื—ื™ื“ ืฉืœ ื—ื™ื™ื ื•,
02:49
at the end, was a failure.
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ื”ื•ื ื‘ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืชื—ืชื•ื ื” ื›ืฉืœื•ืŸ.
02:51
And you know, it was not a failure for ourselves in itself,
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ื•ื–ื” ืœื ื”ื™ื” ืจืง ื›ืฉืœื•ืŸ ืฉืœื ื•,
02:57
but it was a failure that will impact his full life.
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ืืœื ื›ืฉืœื•ืŸ ืฉื™ืฉืคื™ืข ืขืœ ื›ืœ ื—ื™ื™ื•.
03:02
Honestly, we went down.
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ื‘ื›ื ื•ืช, ื”ืชืžื•ื˜ื˜ื ื•.
03:03
I mean we went really down, but at the end,
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ืžืžืฉ ื”ืชืžื•ื˜ื˜ื ื•, ืื‘ืœ ื‘ืกื•ืฃ,
03:07
we started to look at him,
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ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืœื”ื‘ื™ื˜ ื‘ื•,
03:09
and we said, we have to react.
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ื•ืืžืจื ื• ืฉืื ื• ื—ื™ื™ื‘ื™ื ืœื”ื’ื™ื‘.
03:11
So immediately, as Francesca said, we changed our life.
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ืื– ืžื™ื“, ื›ืžื• ืฉืคืจื 'ืฆืกืงื” ืืžืจื”, ืฉื™ื ื™ื ื• ืืช ื—ื™ื™ื ื•.
03:14
We started physiotherapy, we started the rehabilitation,
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ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืคื™ื–ื™ื•ืชืจืคื™ื”, ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืืช ื”ืฉื™ืงื•ื,
03:17
and one of the paths that we were following
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ื•ืื—ื“ ื”ื›ื™ื•ื•ื ื™ื ืฉืœื ื•,
03:19
in terms of rehabilitation is the mirror neurons pilot.
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ืžื‘ื—ื™ื ืช ื”ืฉื™ืงื•ื ื”ื™ื” ื”ืžื™ื–ื ื”ื ืกื™ื•ื ื™ ืฉืœ ื ื•ื™ืจื•ื ื™ ื”ืžืจืื”.
03:22
Basically, we spent months doing this with Mario.
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ืขืงืจื•ื ื™ืช, ื”ืงื“ืฉื ื• ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ื”ื–ื• ืขื ืžืจื™ื•.
03:26
You have an object, and we showed him
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ื™ืฉื ื• ืขืฆื, ื•ืื ื• ื”ืจืื™ื ื• ืœื•
03:29
how to grab the object.
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ืื™ืš ืœืœืคื•ืช ืืช ื”ืขืฆื ื”ื–ื”.
03:31
Now, the theory of mirror neurons simply says
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ืชื™ืื•ืจื™ื™ืช ื ื•ื™ืจื•ื ื™ ื”ืžืจืื” ืื•ืžืจืช ื‘ืคืฉื˜ื•ืช
03:34
that in your brains, exactly now, as you watch me doing this,
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ืฉื‘ืžื•ื— ืฉืœื›ื, ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ื›ืฉืืชื ืจื•ืื™ื ืื•ืชื™ ืขื•ืฉื” ืืช ื–ื”,
03:38
you are activating exactly the same neurons
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ืืชื ืžืคืขื™ืœื™ื ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ืืช ืื•ืชื ื ื•ื™ืจื•ื ื™ื
03:40
as if you do the actions.
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ื›ืื™ืœื• ืืชื ื‘ืขืฆืžื›ื ืขื•ืฉื™ื ืืช ื”ืคืขื•ืœื•ืช.
03:44
It looks like this is the leading edge in terms of rehabilitation.
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ื–ื” ื ืจืื” ื›ืš. ื–ืืช ื”ืžื™ืœื” ื”ืื—ืจื•ื ื” ื‘ืชื—ื•ื ื”ืฉื™ืงื•ื.
03:48
But one day we found that Mario
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ืื‘ืœ ื™ื•ื ืื—ื“ ื’ื™ืœื™ื ื• ืฉืžืจื™ื•
03:51
was not looking at our hand.
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ืœื ืžืกืชื›ืœ ืขื“ ื”ื™ื“ ืฉืœื ื•.
03:55
He was looking at us.
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ื”ื•ื ืžืกืชื›ืœ ื‘ื ื•.
03:57
We were his mirror.
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ืื ื• ื”ื™ื™ื ื• ื”ืžืจืื” ืฉืœื•.
04:00
And the problem, as you might feel,
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ื•ื”ื‘ืขื™ื” ื”ื™ื, ื›ืคื™ ืฉืื•ืœื™ ื”ื‘ื ืชื,
04:02
is that we were down, we were depressed,
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ืฉื”ื™ื™ื ื• ืขืฆื•ื‘ื™ื ื•ืžื“ื•ื›ืื™ื,
04:04
we were looking at him as a problem,
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ื”ืกืชื›ืœื ื• ืขืœื™ื• ื›ืžื• ืขืœ ื‘ืขื™ื”,
04:06
not as a son, not from a positive perspective.
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ืœื ื›ืžื• ื‘ืŸ, ืœื ืžื ืงื•ื“ืช-ืžื‘ื˜ ื—ื™ื•ื‘ื™ืช.
04:11
And that day really changed our perspective.
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ื•ืื•ืชื• ื™ื•ื ืฉื™ื ื” ื‘ืขืฆื ืืช ื ืงื•ื“ืช ื”ืžื‘ื˜ ืฉืœื ื•.
04:14
We realized that we had to become
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ื”ื‘ื ื• ืฉืขืœื™ื ื• ืœื”ืคื•ืš
04:18
a better mirror for Mario.
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ืœืžืจืื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœืžืขืŸ ืžืจื™ื•.
04:20
We restarted from our strengths,
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ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืžื—ื“ืฉ, ืžื”ื ืงื•ื“ื•ืช ื”ื—ื–ืงื•ืช ืฉืœื ื•.
04:22
and at the same time we restarted from his strengths.
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ื•ื‘ื›ืš ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืžื—ื“ืฉ ืžื”ื ืงื•ื“ื•ืช ื”ื—ื–ืงื•ืช ืฉืœื•.
04:26
We stopped looking at him as a problem,
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ื”ืคืกืงื ื• ืœืจืื•ืช ื‘ื• ื‘ืขื™ื”,
04:29
and we started to look at him as an opportunity to improve.
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ื•ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืœืจืื•ืช ื‘ื• ื”ื–ื“ืžื ื•ืช ืœืฉื™ืคื•ืจ.
04:33
And really, this was the change,
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ื•ืื›ืŸ, ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื”ืฉื™ื ื•ื™,
04:36
and from our side, we said,
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ืžืฆื™ื“ื ื•, ืืžืจื ื•:
04:39
"What are our strengths that we really can bring to Mario?"
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"ืžื”ืŸ ื”ื—ื•ื–ืงื•ืช ืฉืื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ื‘ื™ื ืœืžืจื™ื•?"
04:42
And we started from our passions.
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ื•ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืžื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉืื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื.
04:43
I mean, at the end, my wife and myself
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ื›ื™ ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ, ืืฉืชื™ ื•ืื ื™
04:45
are quite different,
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ืฉื•ื ื™ื ืžืื“,
ืื‘ืœ ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ื”ืจื‘ื” ื‘ืžืฉื•ืชืฃ.
04:47
but we have many things in common.
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04:49
We love to travel, we love music,
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ืฉื ื™ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืœื˜ื™ื™ืœ, ืฉื ื™ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืžื•ืกื™ืงื”,
04:51
we love to be in places like this,
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ืฉื ื™ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืžืงื•ืžื•ืช ื›ืžื• ื–ื”,
04:53
and we started to bring Mario with us
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ื•ื”ืชื—ืœื ื• ืœื”ื‘ื™ื ืื™ืชื ื• ืืช ืžืจื™ื•
04:55
just to show to him the best things that we can show to him.
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ืคืฉื•ื˜ ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืจืื•ืช ืœื• ืืช ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ื›ื™ ื˜ื•ื‘ื™ื ืฉืื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ืจืื•ืช ืœื•.
04:59
This short video is from last week.
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ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ื”ืงืฆืจ ื”ื–ื” ื”ื•ื ืžื”ืฉื‘ื•ืข ืฉืขื‘ืจ.
05:05
I am not saying --
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ืื ื™ ืœื ืื•ืžืจ--
05:06
(Applause) โ€”
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[ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื]
05:08
I am not saying it's a miracle. That's not the message,
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ืื ื™ ืœื ืื•ืžืจ ืฉื–ื” ื ืก. ืœื ื–ื”ื• ื”ืžืกืจ,
05:11
because we are just at the beginning of the path.
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ื›ื™ ืื ื• ืจืง ื‘ืชื—ื™ืœืช ื”ื“ืจืš.
05:13
But we want to share what was the key learning,
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ืจืฆื•ื ื ื• ืœืฉืชืฃ ืืชื›ื ื‘ืœืงื— ื”ืžืจื›ื–ื™,
05:17
the key learning that Mario drove to us,
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ื”ืœืงื— ื”ืžืจื›ื–ื™ ืฉืžืจื™ื• ื’ืจื ืœื ื• ืœื”ื›ื™ืจ ื‘ื•,
05:19
and it is to consider what you have as a gift
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืœืจืื•ืช ื‘ืžื” ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื›ื ืžืชื ื”
05:22
and not only what you miss,
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ื•ืœื ืจืง ื”ื—ืžืฆื”,
05:26
and to consider what you miss just as an opportunity.
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ื•ืœืจืื•ืช ื‘ืžื” ืฉืžื—ืžื™ืฆื™ื ืคืฉื•ื˜ ื”ื–ื“ืžื ื•ืช.
05:30
And this is the message that we want to share with you.
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ื•ื–ื” ื”ืžืกืจ ืฉื‘ืจืฆื•ื ื ื• ืœื—ืœื•ืง ืขื™ืžื›ื.
05:33
This is why we are here.
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ื–ื• ื”ืกื™ื‘ื” ืฉื‘ืื ื• ืœื›ืืŸ.
05:37
Mario!
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ืžืจื™ื•!
05:39
And this is why --
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ื•ื–ื• ื”ืกื™ื‘ื”--
05:40
(Applause) โ€”
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[ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื]
05:45
And this is why
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ื•ื–ื• ื”ืกื™ื‘ื”
05:50
we decided to share the best mirror in the world with him.
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ืฉื”ื—ืœื˜ื ื• ืœื—ืœื•ืง ืขื™ืžื• ืืช ื”ืžืจืื” ื”ื›ื™ ื˜ื•ื‘ื” ื‘ืขื•ืœื.
05:56
And we thank you so much, all of you.
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ื•ืื ื• ืžื•ื“ื™ื ื›ืœ-ื›ืš ืœื›ื•ืœื›ื.
05:59
FF: Thank you. RD: Thank you. Bye.
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ืค"ืค: ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”. ืจ"ื“: ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”. ื‘ื™ื™.
06:01
(Applause)
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[ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื]
06:05
FF: Thank you. (Applause)
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ืค"ืค: ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”. [ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื]
ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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