The mathematics of love | Hannah Fry

Prevodilac: Mile Živković Lektor: Ivana Korom

Today I want to talk to you about the mathematics of love.

Danas želim da vam pričam o matematici ljubavi.

Mislim da svi možemo da se složimo da su matematičari

Now, I think that we can all agree

that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.

čuveni po tome da sjajno pronalaze ljubav.

(Laughter)

But it's not just because of our dashing personalities,

Ali to nije samo zbog naših očaravajućih ličnosti,

superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases.

vrhunskih veština razgovora i odličnih pernica za olovke.

To je i zbog toga zato što smo zapravo uložili mnogo truda u proračunavanje

It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths

of how to find the perfect partner.

načina za pronalaženje savršenog partnera.

Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled,

U mom omiljenom radu na ovu temu, koji se zove

"Zašto nemam devojku" - (Smeh) -

"Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" --

(Laughter)

Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love.

Piter Bakus pokušava da oceni svoje šanse da pronađe ljubav.

Now, Peter's not a very greedy man.

Piter nije pohlepan čovek.

Of all of the available women in the UK,

Od svih slobodnih žena u Ujedinjenom kraljevstvu,

all Peter's looking for is somebody who lives near him,

Piter samo traži nekoga ko živi blizu njega,

nekoga ko je podesnog starosnog doba,

somebody in the right age range,

somebody with a university degree,

nekoga sa fakultetskom diplomom,

somebody he's likely to get on well with,

nekoga s kime bi se verovatno dobro slagao,

somebody who's likely to be attractive,

nekoga ko je verovatno privlačan

somebody who's likely to find him attractive.

i nekoga ko bi verovatno njega smatrao privlačnim.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.

Došao je do procene od 26 žena u celom Ujedinjenom kraljevstvu.

(Laughter)

It's not looking very good, is it Peter?

Piteru, ne izgleda baš dobro, zar ne?

Now, just to put that into perspective,

Da stavimo to u kontekst,

that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates

to je oko 400 puta manje od procena

of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are.

broja inteligentnih oblika života u svemiru.

And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance

To Piteru takođe daje šansu od 1 u 285 000

of bumping into any one of these special ladies

da naleti na jednu od ovih posebnih dama

on a given night out.

bilo koje veče.

I'd like to think that's why mathematicians

Mislim da se matematičari baš zbog toga

don't really bother going on nights out anymore.

više naročito ni ne trude da izlaze.

Stvar je u tome da ja lično

The thing is that I personally don't subscribe

nisam tako pesimističnog stava.

to such a pessimistic view.

Because I know, just as well as all of you do,

Zato što ja znam, baš kao i svi vi,

that love doesn't really work like that.

da ljubav zapravo ne funkcioniše tako.

Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable.

Ljudske emocije nisu uredno složene i racionalne i lako predvidive.

But I also know that that doesn't mean

Ali takođe znam da to ne znači

that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us,

da matematika nema nešto da nam ponudi,

because, love, as with most of life, is full of patterns

zato što je ljubav, kao i većina stvari u životu, prepuna šablona,

and mathematics is, ultimately, all about the study of patterns.

a matematika se suštinski bavi proučavanjem šablona.

Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market,

Šabloni za sve od predviđanja vremena do variranja vrednosti na berzi,

to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities.

preko kretanja planeta do rasta gradova.

And if we're being honest, none of those things

Ako ćemo biti iskreni, ništa od toga

are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either.

takođe nije uredno složeno i lako predvidivo.

Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential

Verujem da je matematika toliko moćna da ima potencijal

da nam ponudi novi način gledanja skoro na sve.

to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything.

Even something as mysterious as love.

Čak i nešto tako misteriozno poput ljubavi.

And so, to try to persuade you

Da bih pokušala da vas ubedim u to

of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is,

kako je matematika neverovatna, odlična i bitna,

I want to give you my top three mathematically verifiable tips for love.

želim da vam dam moja najbolja tri matematički dokaziva saveta za ljubav.

(Laughter)

U redu, Savet broj 1:

OK, so Top Tip #1:

kako biti uspešan u sastancima preko interneta.

How to win at online dating.

So my favorite online dating website is OkCupid,

Moj omiljeni sajt za upoznavanje preko interneta je OkCupid,

not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians.

dobrim delom zbog toga što ga je osnovala grupa matematičara.

Now, because they're mathematicians,

Pošto su matematičari,

they have been collecting data

skupljali su podatke

on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade.

o svakom ko koristi njihov sajt, skoro deceniju.

Pokušali su da nađu šablone u tome

And they've been trying to search for patterns

in the way that we talk about ourselves

kako pričamo o sebi

and the way that we interact with each other

i u načinu na koji međusobno komuniciramo

on an online dating website.

na internet sajtu za upoznavanje.

And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings.

Došli su do nekih veoma zanimljivih rezultata.

But my particular favorite

Ali moj omiljeni je taj

is that it turns out that on an online dating website,

da se ispostavlja da na internet sajtu za upoznavanje

how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are,

to koliko ste privlačni ne povlači to koliko ste popularni,

and actually, having people think that you're ugly

i zapravo kada ljudi misle da ste ružni,

can work to your advantage.

to može da vam ide u prilog.

(Laughter)

Let me show you how this works.

Hajde da vam pokažem kako ovo funkcioniše.

In a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid,

U delu OkCupid-a koji je srećom dobrovoljan,

you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are

možete oceniti koliko mislite da je neko privlačan,

on a scale between one and five.

na skali od jedan do pet.

Now, if we compare this score, the average score,

Ako uporedite ovaj, prosečan rezultat,

to how many messages a selection of people receive,

sa time koliko poruka dobije određeni broj ljudi,

you can begin to get a sense

možete otprilike da shvatite kako je

of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.

povezana privlačnost sa popularnošću na internet sajtu za upoznavanje.

Ovo je grafikon do koga su došli ljudi iz OkCupid-a.

This is the graph the OkCupid guys have come up with.

And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true

Bitno je primetiti da nije potpuno tačno

that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get.

da dobijate više poruka, što ste privlačniji.

But the question arises then of what is it about people up here

Ali onda dolazi do pitanja šta je to sa ovim ljudima

koji su toliko popularniji od ovih ljudi dole,

who are so much more popular than people down here,

even though they have the same score of attractiveness?

iako imaju isti rezultat na skali privlačnosti?

And the reason why is that it's not just straightforward looks that are important.

Razlog leži u tome što nije bitan izgled sam po sebi.

So let me try to illustrate their findings with an example.

Dozvolite da pokušam da prikažem njihove rezultate kroz primer.

So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example,

Recimo, ako uzmete nekog poput Porše de Rosi,

everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman.

svi se slažu da je Porša de Rosi prelepa žena.

Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either.

Niko ne misli da je ružna, ali nije ni supermodel.

If you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker,

Ako uporedite Poršu de Rosi s nekim poput Sare Džesike Parker,

now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say,

dosta ljudi bi reklo, uključujući i mene,

da je Sara Džesika Parker veoma zanosna

think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous

and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures

i verovatno jedno od najlepših stvorenja

to have ever have walked on the face of the Earth.

koja su ikada hodala Zemljom.

But some other people, i.e., most of the Internet ...

Ali neki drugi ljudi, npr. većina interneta,

(Laughter)

izgleda da misle da ona izgleda pomalo kao konj. (Smeh)

seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse.

(Laughter)

Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought

Mislim da kada biste ljude pitali koliko misle da su atraktivne

Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were,

Sara Džesika Parker ili Porša de Rosi,

and you ask them to give them a score between one and five

i zapitate ih da im daju rezultat na skali od jedan do pet,

I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score.

mislim da bi se došlo do toga da je prosečan rezultat manje-više isti.

But the way that people would vote would be very different.

Ali način na koji bi ljudi glasali bio bi potpuno drugačiji.

So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the four

Poršini rezultati bili bi grupisani oko broja četiri

jer se svi slažu da je prelepa,

because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful,

dok su kod Sare Džesike Parker mišljenja potpuno podeljena.

whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion.

Kod njenih rezultata bilo bi velikih podela.

There'd be a huge spread in her scores.

And actually it's this spread that counts.

Ove podele su zapravo ono što se računa.

It's this spread that makes you more popular

Ove podele su ono što vas čini popularnijim

on an online Internet dating website.

na internet sajtu za upoznavanje.

So what that means then

To onda znači

is that if some people think that you're attractive,

da ako neki ljudi misle da ste privlačni,

you're actually better off

bolje je ukoliko

having some other people think that you're a massive minger.

neki drugi ljudi misle da ste potpuni grob.

That's much better than everybody just thinking

To je puno bolje od toga da svi misle

that you're the cute girl next door.

da ste simpatična devojka iz komšiluka.

Mislim da ovo počinje da ima malo više smisla

Now, I think this begins to make a bit more sense

when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages.

kada mislite o ljudima koji šalju ove poruke.

So let's say that you think somebody's attractive,

Recimo da mislite da je neko privlačan,

ali sumnjate da drugi ljudi neće nužno biti toliko zainteresovani.

but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested.

Ovo znači da za vas ima manje konkurencije,

That means there's less competition for you

and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch.

i to je dodatni podsticaj za vas da kontaktirate tu osobu.

Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive

Uporedite to sa nekim za koga mislite da je privlačan

ali sumnjate i da će svi ostali pomisliti da je ta osoba privlačna.

but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive.

Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest?

Iskreno, zašto uopšte da se trudite da biste se ponizili?

Ovde sledi veoma zanimljiv deo svega.

But here's where the really interesting part comes.

Kada ljudi biraju slike koje koriste na internet sajtu za upoznavanje,

Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website,

they often try to minimize the things

često pokušavaju da umanje stvari

that they think some people will find unattractive.

za koje misle da će neki ljudi smatrati neprivlačnim.

The classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight

Klasičan primer su ljudi koji možda imaju mali višak kilograma

deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,

i namerno biraju prilično isečenu sliku,

(Laughter)

ili na primer ćelavi muškarci,

or bald men, for example,

deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats.

koji namerno biraju slike gde nose šešir.

But actually this is the opposite of what you should do

Ovo je zapravo suprotno od onoga što treba da radite

ukoliko želite da budete uspešni.

if you want to be successful.

You should really, instead,

Umesto toga treba da iznesete to što mislite da vas čini drugačijim,

play up to whatever it is that makes you different,

even if you think that some people will find it unattractive.

čak i ako mislite da će neki ljudi to smatrati neprivlačnim.

Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway,

Jer ćete se svejedno svideti ljudima kojima biste se inače svideli,

and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.

a nebitni gubitnici kojima nećete, pa, oni vam samo idu u korist.

OK, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner.

U redu, Savet 2: kako odabrati savršenog partnera.

So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success

Zamislimo da ste na sceni za upoznavanje

on the dating scene.

neverovatno uspešni.

But the question arises of how do you then convert that success

Ali javlja se pitanje toga kako preobratiti taj uspeh

into longer-term happiness,

u dugotrajnu sreću, a naročito

and in particular, how do you decide when is the right time to settle down?

kako odlučiti kada je pravo vreme da se skrasite?

Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in

Uopšteno govoreći, nije preporučljivo da se zaletite

and marry the first person who comes along and shows you any interest at all.

i venčate se prvom osobom koja naiđe

i pokaže neko interesovanje.

But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long

Ali isto tako, ne želite da čekate predugo

if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness.

ukoliko želite da uvećate svoje šanse za dugotrajnu sreću.

As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it,

Kako to kaže moja omiljena spisateljica, Džejn Ostin:

"An unmarried woman of seven and twenty

"Neudata žena od dvadeset sedam godina

can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."

ne može se nadati da će ikad ponovo osetiti ili pobuditi naklonost".

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Mnogo ti hvala, Džejn. A šta pa ti znaš o ljubavi?

Thanks a lot, Jane.

What do you know about love?

(Laughter)

So the question is then,

Pitanje je onda sledeće,

how do you know when is the right time to settle down,

kako znate kada je pravo vreme da se skrasite

ako uzmete u obzir sve ljude s kojima u životu možete izaći?

given all the people that you can date in your lifetime?

Srećom, u matematici postoji nešto sjajno što možemo iskoristiti

Thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use

da nam pomogne, i naziva se teorijom optimalnog zaustavljanja.

to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory.

Hajde da onda zamislimo

So let's imagine, then,

da počnete da izlazite sa 15 godina

that you start dating when you're 15

and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35.

i u najboljem slučaju, želite da se venčate do svoje 35. godine.

And there's a number of people

Postoji određeni broj ljudi

sa kojima biste potencijalno mogli da izađete u toku života,

that you could potentially date across your lifetime,

and they'll be at varying levels of goodness.

i oni variraju na skali dobrote.

Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married,

Pravila su takva da jednom kada povučete potez i venčate se,

you can't look ahead to see what you could have had,

ne možete da gledate unapred ka tome šta ste mogli da imate

and equally, you can't go back and change your mind.

i isto tako ne možete da se vratite i da se predomislite.

In my experience at least,

Makar iz mog iskustva,

I find that typically people don't much like being recalled

otkrila sam da ljudi obično ne vole da ih se setite

years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.

godinama nakon što umesto njih odaberete nekog drugog, možda sam to samo ja.

So the math says then that what you should do

Matematika vam kaže šta onda treba da uradite -

in the first 37 percent of your dating window,

u prvih 37% svojih šansi za izlaske,

you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.

jednostavno treba sve da odbijete zbog nedostatka potencijala za brak.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And then, you should pick the next person that comes along

Onda bi trebalo da odaberete sledeću osobu koja naiđe,

that is better than everybody that you've seen before.

a koja je bolja od svakoga koga ste do tada videli.

So here's the example.

Evo primera.

Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact,

Ako uradite ovo, zapravo se može matematički dokazati

that this is the best possible way

da je ovo najbolji mogući način

of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner.

da uvećate svoje šanse za pronalazak savršenog partnera.

Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks.

Nažalost, moram da vam kažem da ovaj metod ima svoje rizike.

For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared

Na primer, zamislite da vaš savršeni partner dođe

during your first 37 percent.

tokom vaših prvih 37 procenata.

Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.

Nažalost, moraćete ga odbiti.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Ako pratite matematiku,

Now, if you're following the maths,

bojim se da neće doći niko drugi

I'm afraid no one else comes along

that's better than anyone you've seen before,

ko je bolji od svih koje ste videli pre toga,

tako da morate da nastavite sa odbijanjem dok ne umrete sami.

so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Probably surrounded by cats ...

Verovatno okruženi mačkama koje grickaju vaše ostatke.

(Laughter)

nibbling at your remains.

OK, another risk is, let's imagine, instead,

U redu, drugi rizik - zamislite umesto ovoga

that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent

da su prvi ljudi sa kojima ste izašli u vaših prvih 37% procenata

are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people.

prosto neverovatno dosadni, bezlični, užasni ljudi.

That's OK, because you're in your rejection phase,

To je u redu, jer ste u fazi odbijanja,

so that's fine, you can reject them.

tako da je to okej, možete ih odbiti.

But then imagine the next person to come along

Ali onda zamislite da je sledeća osoba koja naiđe

is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible ...

samo neznatno manje dosadna, bezlična i užasna

(Laughter)

than everybody that you've seen before.

od svih koje ste do tada videli.

Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them ...

Ako pratite matematiku, bojim se da se morate venčati tom osobom

(Laughter)

i završiti u vezi koja je iskreno nezadovoljavajuća.

and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal.

Sorry about that.

Izvinite.

But I do think that there's an opportunity here for Hallmark to cash in on

Ali zaista mislim da ovde postoji prilika

da Holmark unovči ovo i zaista se prilagodi ovom tržištu.

and really cater for this market.

A Valentine's Day card like this.

Čestitka za Dan zaljubljenih poput ove. (Smeh)

(Laughter)

"Moj dragi mužu, samo si neznatno manje užasan od prvih 37% ljudi

"My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible

than the first 37 percent of people I dated."

sa kojima sam izašla."

(Laughter)

Ispalo je romantičnije nego što to obično uspevam.

It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.

(Laughter)

OK, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate,

U redu, ovaj metod vam ne daje stopu uspeha od 100%,

but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better.

ali ne postoji nijedna druga strategija koja ima bolji rezultat.

And actually, in the wild, there are certain types of fish

Zapravo, u prirodi postoje određene vrste ribe

which follow and employ this exact strategy.

koje prate i koriste baš ovu strategiju.

So they reject every possible suitor that turns up

One odbijaju svakog mogućeg udvarača koji se pojavi

in the first 37 percent of the mating season,

u prvih 37% procenata sezone parenja,

and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window

i onda odaberu prvu narednu ribu koja se pojavi nakon tog perioda,

that's, I don't know, bigger and burlier

koja je, ne znam, veća i muževnija

than all of the fish that they've seen before.

od svih riba koje su do tada videle.

I also think that subconsciously, humans, we do sort of do this anyway.

Mislim da i mi ljudi ovo radimo podsvesno, na neki način.

We give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field,

Sebi dajemo malo vremena da istražimo igru,

get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young.

steknemo osećaj za tržište ili slično, kada smo mladi.

And then we only start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates

Počnemo ozbiljno da gledamo potencijalne kandidate za brak

once we hit our mid-to-late 20s.

tek kada uđemo u srednje i kasne dvadesete.

I think this is conclusive proof, if ever it were needed,

Mislim da je ovo krajnji dokaz, ako je ikad bio potreban,

da su svačiji mozgovi predodređeni da budu makar malo matematički.

that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.

OK, so that was Top Tip #2.

U redu, to je bio Savet broj dva.

Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce.

Savet broj tri: kako izbeći razvod.

U redu, zamislimo da ste odabrali svog savršenog partnera

OK, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner

i navikavate se na doživotnu vezu sa tom osobom.

and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them.

Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce,

Želela bih da mislim da bi svako voleo da izbegne razvod,

apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?

osim možda supruge Pirsa Morgana.

(Laughter)

But it's a sad fact of modern life

Ali tužna činjenica modernog života je to

that one in two marriages in the States ends in divorce,

da se 1 u 2 braka u SAD završi razvodom,

with the rest of the world not being far behind.

dok ostatak sveta nije daleko od toga.

Now, you can be forgiven, perhaps

Možda vam se može oprostiti

for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup

što mislite da svađe koje prethode rastavi braka

are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation.

nisu idealne za matematičku istragu.

Prvo, veoma je teško znati

For one thing, it's very hard to know

šta treba da merite ili šta treba da brojite.

what you should be measuring or what you should be quantifying.

Ali ovo nije zaustavilo psihologa Džona Gotmana, koji je uradio upravo to.

But this didn't stop a psychologist, John Gottman, who did exactly that.

Gottman observed hundreds of couples having a conversation

Gotman je posmatrao stotine parova u toku razgovora

i snimao u principu sve čega biste mogli da se setite.

and recorded, well, everything you can think of.

So he recorded what was said in the conversation,

Snimao je šta je rečeno u razgovoru,

he recorded their skin conductivity,

snimao je provodljivost njihove kože,

he recorded their facial expressions,

njihove izraze lica,

their heart rates, their blood pressure,

otkucaje srca, krvni pritisak,

basically everything apart from whether or not the wife was actually always right,

zapravo sve osim toga da li je supruga uvek bila u pravu ili ne,

which incidentally she totally is.

a sasvim slučajno ona to jeste.

But what Gottman and his team found

Ali Gotman i njegov tim su zapravo pronašli

was that one of the most important predictors

jedan od najbitnijih prediktora

toga da li će se par razvesti ili ne -

for whether or not a couple is going to get divorced

koliko je svaki partner pozitivan ili negativan u razgovoru.

was how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.

Now, couples that were very low-risk

Parovi sa niskom stopom rizika

scored a lot more positive points on Gottman's scale than negative.

imali su puno više pozitivnih nego negativnih poena na Gotmanovoj skali.

Whereas bad relationships,

Sa druge strane, u lošim vezama,

by which I mean, probably going to get divorced,

mislim na one gde će se par verovatno razvesti,

zatekli su se u spirali negativnosti.

they found themselves getting into a spiral of negativity.

Now just by using these very simple ideas,

Koristeći samo ove jednostavne ideje,

Gottman and his group were able to predict

Gotman je sa svojom grupom mogao da predvidi

whether a given couple was going to get divorced

da li će se određeni par razvesti ili ne

with a 90 percent accuracy.

sa preciznošću od 90%.

Ali sve dok se nije udružio sa matematičarom Džejmsom Marejem,

But it wasn't until he teamed up with a mathematician, James Murray,

that they really started to understand

nije razumeo

what causes these negativity spirals and how they occur.

šta je uzrok ovih spirala negativnosti i kako se one dešavaju.

And the results that they found,

Rezultati do kojih su došli

I think, are just incredibly impressively simple and interesting.

po mom mišljenju, neverovatno su prosti i zanimljivi.

So these equations predict how the wife or husband is going to respond

Ove jednačine predviđaju kako će muž ili supruga reagovati

in their next turn of the conversation,

kada je njihov red u razgovoru,

koliko pozitivni ili negativni će biti.

how positive or negative they're going to be.

And these equations depend on

Ove jednačine zavise od raspoloženja osobe

the mood of the person when they're on their own,

kada je ona sama, od raspoloženja osobe

the mood of the person when they're with their partner,

kada je ona sa svojim partnerom,

ali najbitnije je da zavise od toga

but most importantly, they depend on

how much the husband and wife influence one another.

koliko muž ili supruga utiču jedno na drugo.

Mislim da je u ovom trenutku bitno istaći

Now, I think it's important to point out at this stage,

that these exact equations have also been shown

da je dokazano da upravo ove jednačine

mogu savršeno da opišu

to be perfectly able at describing

what happens between two countries in an arms race.

šta se dešava između dve zemlje u toku trke za naoružavanje.

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

So that an arguing couple spiraling into negativity

Tako da je to - ljudi u zavadi koji srljaju u negativnost

and teetering on the brink of divorce

i vise na ivici razvoda -

is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.

to je matematički jednako početku nuklearnog rata.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Ali termin koji je zaista bitan u ovoj jednačini

But the really important term in this equation

is the influence that people have on one another,

je uticaj koji ljudi imaju jedni na druge,

and in particular, something called "the negativity threshold."

a naročito nešto što se naziva granicom negativnosti.

O granici negativnosti možete razmišljati

Now, the negativity threshold,

you can think of as how annoying the husband can be

kao o tome koliko iritantan muž može da bude

before the wife starts to get really pissed off, and vice versa.

pre nego što žena zaista počne da ludi, i obrnuto.

Now, I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding

Uvek sam mislila da su osnove dobrog braka kompromis i razumevanje

and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves.

i dozvoljavanje osobi da ima prostora da bude ono što jeste.

So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships

Mislila sam i da bi najuspešnije veze onda bile one

were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold.

gde je granica negativnosti veoma visoka.

Where couples let things go

Tamo gde parovi prepuštaju

and only brought things up if they really were a big deal.

i iznose stvari samo ako su zapravo velike.

But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team

Ali zapravo, matematika i otkrića tima

have shown the exact opposite is true.

pokazali su da je istina upravo suprotna.

The best couples, or the most successful couples,

Najbolji parovi, ili najuspešniji parovi

su oni kod kojih je granica negativnosti veoma niska.

are the ones with a really low negativity threshold.

These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed

Ovo su parovi kod kojih ništa ne prolazi neprimećeno

and allow each other some room to complain.

i gde jedni drugima daju prostora za prigovaranje.

These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship,

Ovo su parovi koji se stalno trude da poprave svoju vezu,

that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage.

koji imaju mnogo pozitivniju sliku o svom braku.

Couples that don't let things go

Parovi koji ne zaboravljaju stvari

and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal.

i parovi koji ne dopuštaju da trivijalne stvari postanu velike.

Now of course, it takes a bit more than just a low negativity threshold

Naravno, potrebno je više od niske granice negativnosti same po sebi

and not compromising to have a successful relationship.

i nepravljenja kompromisa da biste imali uspešnu vezu.

But I think that it's quite interesting

Ali mislim da je prično zanimljivo

to know that there is really mathematical evidence

znati da zaista postoje matematički dokazi

to say that you should never let the sun go down on your anger.

koji kažu da nikada zaista ne bi trebalo da potpuno obuzdate svoj bes.

So those are my top three tips

To su moja tri saveta

of how maths can help you with love and relationships.

za to kako matematika može da vam pomogne s ljubavlju i vezama.

But I hope, that aside from their use as tips,

Ali nadam se da će vam osim kao saveta

they also give you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics.

koristiti i kao uvid u moć matematike.

Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing.

Za mene, jednačine i simboli nisu samo stvar.

They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature

Oni su glas koji govori o neverovatnom bogatstvu prirode

and the startling simplicity

i zapanjujućoj jednostavnosti

in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us,

šablona koji se uvijaju i izvrću i razvijaju svuda oko nas,

from how the world works to how we behave.

od toga kako svet funkcioniše do toga kako se ponašamo.

So I hope that perhaps, for just a couple of you,

Nadam se da će makar za nekoliko vas,

a little bit of insight into the mathematics of love

uvid u matematiku ljubavi

pomoći da vas ubedi da matematici pružite malo više ljubavi.

can persuade you to have a little bit more love for mathematics.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)