The mathematics of love | Hannah Fry

Translator: Matej Divjak Reviewer: Nika Kotnik

Today I want to talk to you about the mathematics of love.

Danes bi vam rada govorila o matematiki ljubezni.

Mislim, da se lahko vsi strinjamo,

Now, I think that we can all agree

that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.

da matematiki slovijo po tem, da so odlični v iskanju ljubezni.

(Laughter)

But it's not just because of our dashing personalities,

A ne le zaradi naših sijajnih osebnosti,

superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases.

superiornih pogovornih spretnosti in odličnih peresnic za svinčnike.

Ampak tudi zato, ker smo dejansko naredili ogromno dela glede matematike,

It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths

of how to find the perfect partner.

kako najti popolnega partnerja.

Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled,

V mojem najljubšem članku o tej temi, ki nosi naslov:

"Zakaj nimam punce" - (smeh) -

"Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" --

(Laughter)

Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love.

Peter Backus poskuša oceniti svoje možnosti, da najde ljubezen.

Now, Peter's not a very greedy man.

A Peter ni zelo pohlepen.

Of all of the available women in the UK,

Med vsemi možnimi ženskami v Združenem kraljestvu

all Peter's looking for is somebody who lives near him,

Peter išče le takšno, ki živi blizu njega,

ki je v pravem starostnem razponu,

somebody in the right age range,

somebody with a university degree,

ki ima univerzitetno diplomo,

somebody he's likely to get on well with,

s katero se bo verjetno lepo ujel,

somebody who's likely to be attractive,

ki je verjetno privlačna,

somebody who's likely to find him attractive.

ki se ji bo on verjetno zdel privlačen.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.

Oceni, da je v celotnem Združenem kraljestvu 26 takšnih žensk.

(Laughter)

It's not looking very good, is it Peter?

To pa ni preveč obetavno, kaj Peter?

Now, just to put that into perspective,

Če to postavimo v perspektivo,

that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates

je to približno 400-krat manj, kot so najboljše ocene,

of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are.

koliko inteligentnih izvenzemeljskih oblik življenja obstaja.

And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance

Petru pa da tudi možnost 1 proti 285.000,

of bumping into any one of these special ladies

da se bo zaletel v eno od teh posebnih dam

on a given night out.

v določeni noči, ko gre ven.

I'd like to think that's why mathematicians

Mislim, da je to razlog, zakaj se matematiki

don't really bother going on nights out anymore.

v resnici več ne trudijo, da bi hodili ven.

A v bistvu se jaz osebno

The thing is that I personally don't subscribe

ne strinjam s tako pesimističnim pogledom.

to such a pessimistic view.

Because I know, just as well as all of you do,

Ker vem, tako dobro, kot vsi vi,

that love doesn't really work like that.

da ljubezen v resnici ne deluje tako.

Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable.

Človeško čustvo ni lepo urejeno in razumsko in enostavno predvidljivo.

But I also know that that doesn't mean

Hkrati pa vem, da to ne pomeni,

that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us,

da matematika nima ničesar, kar bi nam lahko ponudila,

because, love, as with most of life, is full of patterns

ker je ljubezen, kot večina življenja, polna vzorcev

and mathematics is, ultimately, all about the study of patterns.

in matematika je konec koncev proučevanje vzorcev.

Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market,

Od vzorcev napovedovanja vremena do nihanj na trgu vrednostnih papirjev,

to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities.

gibanja planetov ali rasti mest.

And if we're being honest, none of those things

In če smo pošteni, nič od tega

are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either.

prav tako ni ravno lepo urejeno in enostavno predvidljivo.

Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential

Ker verjamem, da je matematika tako močna, da ima potencial,

da nam ponudi nov pogled na skoraj vse.

to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything.

Even something as mysterious as love.

Tudi na nekaj tako skrivnostnega kot je ljubezen.

And so, to try to persuade you

Da bi vas torej prepričala,

of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is,

kako popolnoma osupljiva, odlična in pomembna je matematika,

I want to give you my top three mathematically verifiable tips for love.

vam želim dati tri najboljše matematično preverljive nasvete za ljubezen.

(Laughter)

Prav, torej najboljši nasvet št. 1:

OK, so Top Tip #1:

Kako zmagati v spletnih zmenkarijah.

How to win at online dating.

So my favorite online dating website is OkCupid,

Moja najljubša spletna stran za zmenkarije je OkCupid,

not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians.

med drugim zato, ker jo je ustvarila skupina matematikov.

Now, because they're mathematicians,

Ker so matematiki,

they have been collecting data

so zbirali podatke

on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade.

o vseh, ki uporabljajo njihovo stran, skoraj desetletje.

Poskušali so iskati vzorce

And they've been trying to search for patterns

in the way that we talk about ourselves

v tem, kako govorimo o sebi

and the way that we interact with each other

in v tem, kako medsebojno komuniciramo

on an online dating website.

na spletni strani za zmenkarije.

And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings.

Tako so prišli do nekaterih resnično zanimivih odkritij.

But my particular favorite

A moje najljubše je to,

is that it turns out that on an online dating website,

da se izkaže, da na spletni strani za zmenkarije,

how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are,

to, kako privlačen si, ne odloča o tvoji priljubljenosti,

and actually, having people think that you're ugly

in pravzaprav vam mišljenje ljudi, da ste grdi,

can work to your advantage.

lahko celo pomaga.

(Laughter)

Let me show you how this works.

Naj vam pokažem, kako to deluje.

In a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid,

V k sreči prostovoljnem delu strani OkCupid

you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are

lahko ocenjujete, kako privlačni se vam zdijo ljudje,

on a scale between one and five.

na lestvici od 1 do 5.

Now, if we compare this score, the average score,

Če primerjate to oceno, povprečno oceno,

to how many messages a selection of people receive,

s številom sporočil, ki jih izbrani ljudje dobijo,

you can begin to get a sense

lahko pričnete dobivati občutek,

of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.

kako je privlačnost povezana s priljubljenostjo na strani za zmenkarije.

To je grafikon, ki so ga dobili fantje z OkCupida.

This is the graph the OkCupid guys have come up with.

And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true

Pomembno je, da opazimo, da ne drži popolnoma,

that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get.

da bolj kot ste privlačni, več sporočil dobite.

But the question arises then of what is it about people up here

Vendar se potem postavi vprašanje, kaj je takšnega na ljudeh tu zgoraj,

ki so toliko bolj priljubljeni od ljudi tu spodaj,

who are so much more popular than people down here,

even though they have the same score of attractiveness?

čeprav imajo enako oceno privlačnosti?

And the reason why is that it's not just straightforward looks that are important.

Razlog je v tem, da ni pomemben samo videz sam po sebi.

So let me try to illustrate their findings with an example.

Naj vam njihova odkritja prikažem skozi primer.

So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example,

Če na primer vzamete nekoga, kot je Portia de Rossi,

everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman.

se vsi strinjajo, da je Portia de Rossi zelo lepa ženska.

Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either.

Nikomur se ne zdi grda, a tudi supermodel ni.

If you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker,

Če primerjate Portio de Rossi z nekom, kot je Sarah Jessica Parker,

now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say,

mnogi, tudi jaz, moram reči,

menijo, da je Sarah Jessica Parker resnično čudovita

think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous

and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures

in verjetno ena od najlepših bitij,

to have ever have walked on the face of the Earth.

ki so kadarkoli hodile po Zemlji.

But some other people, i.e., most of the Internet ...

Nekateri drugi, na primer večina interneta,

(Laughter)

pa so zgleda mnenja, da izgleda kot konj. (smeh)

seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse.

(Laughter)

Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought

Mislim, da če bi vprašali ljudi, kako privlačni se jim zdita

Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were,

Sarah Jessica Parker ali Portia de Rossi

and you ask them to give them a score between one and five

in naj ju ocenijo od 1 do 5,

I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score.

domnevam, da bi v povprečju imeli približno enako oceno.

But the way that people would vote would be very different.

Vendar bi bil način, na katerega bi glasovali, zelo različen.

So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the four

Ocene za Portio bi bile zgoščene okoli 4,

ker se vsi strinjajo, da je zelo lepa,

because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful,

medtem ko so za Sarah Jessico Parker mnenja zelo deljena.

whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion.

Njene ocene bi bile zelo razpršene.

There'd be a huge spread in her scores.

And actually it's this spread that counts.

A pravzaprav ravno ta razpršenost šteje.

It's this spread that makes you more popular

Ta razpršenost te naredi bolj priljubljenega

on an online Internet dating website.

na spletni strani za zmenkarije.

So what that means then

To torej pomeni,

is that if some people think that you're attractive,

da če nekateri ljudje menijo, da ste privlačni,

you're actually better off

je za vas bolje,

having some other people think that you're a massive minger.

če nekateri drugi menijo, da ste grdi kot smrt.

That's much better than everybody just thinking

To je veliko bolje, kot da vsi mislijo,

that you're the cute girl next door.

da ste luštna punca iz soseske.

Mislim, da to dobi več smisla,

Now, I think this begins to make a bit more sense

when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages.

ko razmišljate kot ljudje, ki pošiljajo ta sporočila.

So let's say that you think somebody's attractive,

Recimo, da se vam nekdo zdi privlačen,

vendar sumite, da drugi ne bodo nujno tako zainteresirani.

but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested.

To pomeni, da imate manj konkurence

That means there's less competition for you

and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch.

in to je dodatna vzpodbuda, da vzpostavite stik.

Primerjajte to s tem, da se vam nekdo zdi privlačen,

Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive

vendar sumite, da se bo vsem zdel privlačen.

but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive.

Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest?

Če smo pošteni, zakaj bi se trudili, da se ponižate?

Tu pa pride resnično zanimiv del.

But here's where the really interesting part comes.

Ko ljudje izbirajo slike, ki jih uporabijo na spletni strani za zmenkarije,

Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website,

they often try to minimize the things

pogosto poskušajo zmanjšati stvari,

that they think some people will find unattractive.

za katere mislijo, da bi se komu zdele neprivlačne.

The classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight

Klasičen primer je, ko ljudje, ki so morda nekoliko pretežki,

deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,

namenoma izberejo zelo obrezano sliko,

(Laughter)

ali pa plešasti moški, na primer,

or bald men, for example,

deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats.

namenoma izberejo slike, na katerih nosijo klobuke.

But actually this is the opposite of what you should do

A v resnici je to nasprotno od tega, kar bi morali početi,

if you want to be successful.

če želite biti uspešni.

You should really, instead,

Namesto tega bi resnično morali poudariti, karkoli je tisto, kar vas dela drugačnega,

play up to whatever it is that makes you different,

even if you think that some people will find it unattractive.

četudi se vam zdi, da se boste nekaterim zdeli neprivlačni.

Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway,

Ker ljudem, ki ste jim všeč, boste vseeno všeč,

and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.

nepomembne zgube, ki jim niste všeč, pa vam bodo samo koristile.

OK, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner.

Prav, najboljši nasvet št. 2: Kako izbrati popolnega partnerja.

So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success

Predstavljajmo si, da ste izjemno uspešni

on the dating scene.

na sceni zmenkarij.

But the question arises of how do you then convert that success

A pojavi se vprašanje, kako pretvoriti ta uspeh

into longer-term happiness,

v dolgoročno srečo in še posebej,

and in particular, how do you decide when is the right time to settle down?

kako se odločiti, kdaj je pravi čas za ustalitev.

Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in

Na splošno ni priporočljivo, da kar zagrabite

and marry the first person who comes along and shows you any interest at all.

in se poročite s prvo osebo, ki pride mimo

in pokaže nekaj zanimanja.

But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long

A prav tako v resnici ne želite čakati predolgo,

if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness.

če želite povečati svoje možnosti za dolgoročno srečo.

As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it,

Kot pravi moja najljubša avtorica, Jane Austen,

"An unmarried woman of seven and twenty

"Neporočena ženska pri sedemindvajsetih

can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."

ne more več upati, da bo še kdaj čutila ali vzbudila naklonjenost."

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Res hvala, Jane. Kaj pa ti veš o ljubezni?

Thanks a lot, Jane.

What do you know about love?

(Laughter)

So the question is then,

Vprašanje je torej,

how do you know when is the right time to settle down,

kako veste, kdaj je pravi čas, da se ustalite,

če upoštevate vse, s katerimi lahko v življenju greste ven?

given all the people that you can date in your lifetime?

K sreči lahko uporabimo precej slasten del matematike,

Thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use

to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory.

da nam pomaga in se imenuje teorija optimalnega ustavljanja.

So let's imagine, then,

Predstavljajmo si,

da začnete hoditi na zmenke, ko ste stari 15

that you start dating when you're 15

and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35.

in v idealnem primeru si želite biti poročeni pri 35-ih.

And there's a number of people

Obstaja množica ljudi,

s katerimi bi v svojem življenju lahko hodili

that you could potentially date across your lifetime,

and they'll be at varying levels of goodness.

in bi bili na različnih stopnjah dobrote.

Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married,

Pravila so takšna, da ko enkrat zagrabite in se poročite,

you can't look ahead to see what you could have had,

ne morete gledati naprej, da bi videli, kar bi lahko imeli,

and equally, you can't go back and change your mind.

in enako, ne morete nazaj, da bi si premislili.

In my experience at least,

Vsaj po mojih izkušnjah

I find that typically people don't much like being recalled

sem ugotovila, da ljudje običajno ne marajo, da jih poiščete

years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.

leta po tem, ko ste namesto njih izbrali nekoga drugega, ali pa sem to samo jaz.

So the math says then that what you should do

Matematika pravi, da kar morate narediti, je,

in the first 37 percent of your dating window,

da v prvih 37 % svojega okna za zmenke

you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.

vse zavrnete kot neresne potenciale za poroko.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

And then, you should pick the next person that comes along

Potem pa bi morali izbrati naslednjo osebo, ki pride mimo

that is better than everybody that you've seen before.

in je boljša od vseh, ki ste jih videli do takrat.

So here's the example.

Tu je primer.

Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact,

Če to naredite, se lahko dejansko matematično dokaže,

that this is the best possible way

da je to najboljši možni način

of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner.

za povečanje vaših možnosti za najdbo popolnega partnerja.

Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks.

Žal vam moram povedati, da ta metoda prinaša tudi določena tveganja.

For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared

Na primer, predstavljajte si, da se je vaš popolni partner pojavil

during your first 37 percent.

med prvimi 37 odstotki.

Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.

Žal bi jih morali zavrniti.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Če sledite matematiki,

Now, if you're following the maths,

se bojim, da nihče ne pride mimo,

I'm afraid no one else comes along

that's better than anyone you've seen before,

ki bi bil boljši kot vsi, ki ste jih videli pred tem,

so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.

zato morate še naprej vse zavračati in umreti sami.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Probably surrounded by cats ...

Verjetno obkroženi z mačkami, ki grizljajo vaše ostanke.

(Laughter)

nibbling at your remains.

OK, another risk is, let's imagine, instead,

Prav, drugo tveganje je, če si namesto tega predstavljate,

that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent

da so prvi ljudje, s katerimi ste šli na zmenek v prvih 37 %,

are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people.

tako neverjetno pusti, dolgočasni, grozni ljudje.

That's OK, because you're in your rejection phase,

To je sicer v redu, ker ste v fazi zavračanja,

so that's fine, you can reject them.

tako da je to ok, lahko jih zavrnete.

But then imagine the next person to come along

Ampak potem si predstavljajte, da je naslednja oseba, ki pride mimo,

is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible ...

le neznatno manj dolgočasna, pusta in grozna,

(Laughter)

than everybody that you've seen before.

kot vsi, ki ste jih videli do takrat.

Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them ...

Če sledite matematiki, se bojim, da se morate poročiti z njo

(Laughter)

in končati v razmerju, ki je, odkrito, neoptimalna.

and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal.

Sorry about that.

Se opravičujem.

But I do think that there's an opportunity here for Hallmark to cash in on

Vendar mislim, da je tu priložnost

za Hallmark, da to unovči in resnično zadovolji ta trg.

and really cater for this market.

A Valentine's Day card like this.

Kartica za Valentinovo kot je ta. (smeh)

(Laughter)

"Moj dragi mož, si neznatno manj grozen,

"My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible

than the first 37 percent of people I dated."

kot prvih 37 odstotkov ljudi, s katerimi sem bila na zmenku."

(Laughter)

V bistvu je bolj romantično, kot mi običajno uspeva.

It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.

(Laughter)

OK, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate,

Ta metoda vam torej ne daje 100 odstotne stopnje uspeha,

but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better.

vendar ni druge možne strategije, ki bi lahko bila boljša.

And actually, in the wild, there are certain types of fish

Pravzaprav so v divjini določene vrste

which follow and employ this exact strategy.

rib, ki sledijo in uporabljajo prav to strategijo.

So they reject every possible suitor that turns up

Tako zavrnejo vsakega možnega snubca, ki se pojavi

in the first 37 percent of the mating season,

v prvih 37 odstotkih sezone parjenja,

and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window

potem pa izberejo prvo naslednjo ribo, ki pride mimo po tem oknu,

that's, I don't know, bigger and burlier

ki je, ne vem, večja in postavnejša,

than all of the fish that they've seen before.

kot vse ribe, ki so jih videle do takrat.

I also think that subconsciously, humans, we do sort of do this anyway.

Prav tako mislim, da podzavestno ljudje na nek način to tako ali tako počnemo.

We give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field,

Nekaj časa si damo, da raziščemo teren,

get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young.

dobimo občutek za tržišče ali karkoli, ko smo mladi.

And then we only start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates

Resno začnemo gledati za potencialnimi kandidati za poroko,

once we hit our mid-to-late 20s.

ko pridemo v srednja do pozna dvajseta.

I think this is conclusive proof, if ever it were needed,

Mislim, da je to prepričljiv dokaz, če je sploh bil potreben,

da so vsakogaršnji možgani narejeni tako, da so vsaj malo matematični.

that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.

OK, so that was Top Tip #2.

Prav, to je bil najboljši nasvet št. 2.

Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce.

Zdaj pa najboljši nasvet št. 3: Kako se izogniti ločitvi.

Prav, zamislimo si torej, da ste si izbrali popolnega partnerja

OK, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner

in se ustaljujete v doživljenjsko razmerje z njim.

and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them.

Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce,

Rada si mislim, da bi se vsak rad izognil ločitvi,

apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?

razen, ne vem, Piers Morganove žene, mogoče?

(Laughter)

But it's a sad fact of modern life

A žalostno dejstvo sodobnega življenja je,

that one in two marriages in the States ends in divorce,

da se vsak drug zakon v Združenih državah konča z razvezo,

with the rest of the world not being far behind.

ostali svet pa ne zaostaja veliko.

Now, you can be forgiven, perhaps

Morda se vam lahko oprosti,

for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup

da mislite, da prepiri, ki se pojavijo pred razdorom zakona

are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation.

niso idealni kandidat za matematično preiskavo.

Kot prvo je zelo težko vedeti,

For one thing, it's very hard to know

kaj bi naj meril, ali kaj bi naj preštel.

what you should be measuring or what you should be quantifying.

A to ni ustavilo psihologa Johna Gottmana, ki je naredil natančno to.

But this didn't stop a psychologist, John Gottman, who did exactly that.

Gottman observed hundreds of couples having a conversation

Gottman je opazoval stotine parov, ki so se pogovarjali

and recorded, well, everything you can think of.

in posnel, torej, vse, kar si lahko zamislite.

So he recorded what was said in the conversation,

Tako je posnel vse, kar je bilo izrečeno v pogovoru,

he recorded their skin conductivity,

posnel je prevodnost njune kože,

he recorded their facial expressions,

posnel je njuno obrazno mimiko,

their heart rates, their blood pressure,

njun srčni utrip, njun krvni tlak,

basically everything apart from whether or not the wife was actually always right,

v bistvu vse, razen tega, ali ima žena vedno vse prav ali ne,

which incidentally she totally is.

kar, mimogrede, seveda ima.

But what Gottman and his team found

A Gottman je s svojo ekipo odkril,

was that one of the most important predictors

da je en od najpomembnejših napovedovalcev,

ali se bo par razšel ali ne,

for whether or not a couple is going to get divorced

bilo to, kako pozitiven ali negativen je bil v pogovoru vsak od partnerjev.

was how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.

Now, couples that were very low-risk

Pari z zelo nizkim tveganjem

scored a lot more positive points on Gottman's scale than negative.

so dobili veliko več pozitivnih točk na Gottmanovi lestvici kot negativnih.

Whereas bad relationships,

Medtem ko so se slaba razmerja,

by which I mean, probably going to get divorced,

s čimer mislim, da se bosta verjetno ločila,

znašla v spirali negativnosti.

they found themselves getting into a spiral of negativity.

Now just by using these very simple ideas,

Samo z uporabo teh preprostih idej

Gottman and his group were able to predict

je Gottman s svojo ekipo uspel predvideti,

whether a given couple was going to get divorced

ali se bo določen par ločil

with a 90 percent accuracy.

z 90-odstotno natančnostjo.

Vendar so šele takrat, ko se je združil z matematikom Jamesom Murrayjem,

But it wasn't until he teamed up with a mathematician, James Murray,

that they really started to understand

resnično začeli razumeti,

what causes these negativity spirals and how they occur.

kaj povzroča te spirale negativnosti in kako se pojavijo.

And the results that they found,

Rezultati, ki so jih odkrili,

I think, are just incredibly impressively simple and interesting.

so po mojem mnenju neverjetno in impresivno preprosti in zanimivi.

So these equations predict how the wife or husband is going to respond

Ti enačbi predvidita odziv žene ali moža,

in their next turn of the conversation,

ko bo na vrsti v pogovoru,

kako bosta pozitivna ali negativna.

how positive or negative they're going to be.

And these equations depend on

Ti enačbi sta odvisni od

razpoloženja osebe, ko je sama,

the mood of the person when they're on their own,

the mood of the person when they're with their partner,

razpoloženja osebe, ko je s svojim partnerjem,

a najpomembneje, odvisni sta od tega,

but most importantly, they depend on

how much the husband and wife influence one another.

kako močno mož in žena vplivata drug na drugega.

Mislim, da je pomembno, da na tej točki poudarim,

Now, I think it's important to point out at this stage,

that these exact equations have also been shown

da se je izkazalo, da sta ti isti enačbi

bili popolnoma sposobni opisati,

to be perfectly able at describing

what happens between two countries in an arms race.

kaj se zgodi med dvema državama v tekmi oboroževanja.

(smeh)

(Laughter)

So that an arguing couple spiraling into negativity

To - prepirajoč par v spirali negativnosti

and teetering on the brink of divorce

in visenje na robu prepada ločitve -

is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.

je pravzaprav matematično enakovredno začetku jedrske vojne.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

A resnično pomemben termin v tej enačbi

But the really important term in this equation

is the influence that people have on one another,

je vpliv, ki ga imajo ljudje drug na drugega,

and in particular, something called "the negativity threshold."

in še posebej, nekaj, čemur se reče prag negativnosti.

Prag negativnosti

Now, the negativity threshold,

you can think of as how annoying the husband can be

si lahko predstavljate kot, kako siten je lahko mož,

before the wife starts to get really pissed off, and vice versa.

preden žena resnično postane besna in obratno.

Now, I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding

Vedno sem mislila, da dobri zakoni temeljijo na kompromisu in razumevanju

and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves.

in dopuščanju, da ima oseba prostor, da je, kar je.

So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships

Tako bi si mislila, da so morda najuspešnejša razmerja

were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold.

tista, ki imajo zelo visok prag negativnosti.

Where couples let things go

Kjer pari pustijo, da gredo stvari mimo,

and only brought things up if they really were a big deal.

in jih privlečejo na dan samo, če so resnično velika stvar.

But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team

V resnici pa so matematika in kasnejša odkritja ekipe

have shown the exact opposite is true.

pokazala ravno nasprotno.

The best couples, or the most successful couples,

Najboljši pari, ali najuspešnejši pari

so tisti, ki imajo zelo nizek prag negativnosti.

are the ones with a really low negativity threshold.

These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed

To so pari, ki ničemur ne dovolijo, da gre mimo neopaženo

and allow each other some room to complain.

in si vzajemno dopuščajo nekaj prostora za pritoževanje.

These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship,

To so pari, ki se nenehno trudijo popraviti svoje razmerje,

that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage.

ki imajo veliko bolj pozitivno sliko o svojem zakonu.

Couples that don't let things go

Pari, ki ne pustijo, da gredo stvari mimo

and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal.

in pari, ki ne pustijo, da bi nepomembne stvari postale resnično velika stvar.

Now of course, it takes a bit more than just a low negativity threshold

Seveda je potrebno nekaj več, kot le nizek prag negativnosti

and not compromising to have a successful relationship.

in nesklepanje kompromisov, da bi imeli uspešno razmerje.

But I think that it's quite interesting

Ampak mislim, da je zelo zanimivo

to know that there is really mathematical evidence

vedeti, da obstaja matematični dokaz,

to say that you should never let the sun go down on your anger.

ki pravi, da nikoli ne smemo pustiti, da bi sonce zašlo nad našo jezo.

So those are my top three tips

To so torej moji trije nasveti,

of how maths can help you with love and relationships.

kako vam lahko matematika pomaga pri ljubezni in odnosih.

But I hope, that aside from their use as tips,

A upam, da vam bodo poleg tega, da so nasveti,

they also give you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics.

dali tudi nekaj uvida v moč matematike.

Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing.

Zame namreč enačbe in simboli niso samo stvar.

They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature

So glas, ki govori o neverjetnem bogastvu narave

and the startling simplicity

in vznemirljivi preprostosti

in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us,

v vzorcih, ki se zvijajo in obračajo in raztezajo in razvijajo vse okoli nas,

from how the world works to how we behave.

od tega, kako deluje svet, do tega, kako se obnašamo.

So I hope that perhaps, for just a couple of you,

Zato upam, da vas mogoče vsaj nekaj od vas

a little bit of insight into the mathematics of love

malo uvida v matematiko ljubezni

lahko prepriča, da boste imeli malo več ljubezni do matematike.

can persuade you to have a little bit more love for mathematics.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(aplavz)