The mathematics of love | Hannah Fry

1,303,474 views ・ 2015-02-13

TED


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翻译人员: Zhiting Chen 校对人员: Geoff Chen
00:12
Today I want to talk to you about the mathematics of love.
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今天我想要和大家谈谈 关于爱情的数学。
我想大家都同意
00:17
Now, I think that we can all agree
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00:18
that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.
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数学家在寻找真爱上特别在行。
00:22
(Laughter)
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00:23
But it's not just because of our dashing personalities,
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但那并不只是因为我们 精力充沛的性格,
00:26
superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases.
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超凡的对话技巧, 和极好的笔盒。
也是因为我们真的 花了许多时间精力在数学上,
00:32
It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths
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00:35
of how to find the perfect partner.
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计算如何找到完美的伴侣。
00:38
Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled,
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现在,在此学科中我最爱的论文,名为
“为什么我没有女友” (笑声)
00:42
"Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" --
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00:43
(Laughter)
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00:45
Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love.
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Peter Backus 试着 计算他寻得真爱的机会。
00:49
Now, Peter's not a very greedy man.
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现在,Peter 不是一个非常贪心的人。
00:51
Of all of the available women in the UK,
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在英国所有适宜的女性对象中,
00:53
all Peter's looking for is somebody who lives near him,
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Peter 所看的, 就只是那个住在他附近的对象,
某个处于适宜的年龄阶段,
00:57
somebody in the right age range,
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00:58
somebody with a university degree,
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某个拥有大学文凭,
01:01
somebody he's likely to get on well with,
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某个他很有可能相处地不错的对象,
01:03
somebody who's likely to be attractive,
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某个有魅力的女子,
01:05
somebody who's likely to find him attractive.
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以及某个认为他也富有魅力的对象。
01:08
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
01:11
And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.
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结果他估计在全英国 大概有 26 位此类女性。
01:16
(Laughter)
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01:17
It's not looking very good, is it Peter?
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这看来很不妙,不是吗,Peter?
01:19
Now, just to put that into perspective,
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我们好好思考一下这件事,
01:21
that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates
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在无数聪明外星生命形式存在的情况下,
01:24
of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are.
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那是少于 400 倍数的估计呀。
01:28
And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance
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那也给了 Peter 一个
在某晚遇见一个特别的女子
01:33
of bumping into any one of these special ladies
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28 万 5 千之 1 的机会。
01:35
on a given night out.
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01:37
I'd like to think that's why mathematicians
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我宁愿想着那就是为什么数学家
01:39
don't really bother going on nights out anymore.
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不再怎么想晚上出去约会了。
重点是,我个人其实并不同意
01:43
The thing is that I personally don't subscribe
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这种悲观的看法。
01:45
to such a pessimistic view.
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01:47
Because I know, just as well as all of you do,
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因为我知道,如同你们所有所知道的,
01:49
that love doesn't really work like that.
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爱情并不是这样发生的。
01:52
Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable.
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人类的情感不是那样地秩序井然、 干净利落、逻辑清晰,以及容易预测。
01:57
But I also know that that doesn't mean
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但我也知道那并不意谓着
01:59
that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us,
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数学无法提供帮助,
02:02
because, love, as with most of life, is full of patterns
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因为爱情,如同生命中多数的事物一般, 充斥着许多规律,
02:06
and mathematics is, ultimately, all about the study of patterns.
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而数学,最终,就是那讲求规律的学说。
02:11
Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market,
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从预测天候,到 预测股票市场的开高走低,
02:15
to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities.
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到星球的运转,或都市的发展。
02:18
And if we're being honest, none of those things
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如果我们对自己诚实的话, 上述那些东西,没有一个是
02:20
are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either.
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井然有序以及容易预测的。
02:24
Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential
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因为我相信,数学的力量非常强大, 以至于它让我们得以以新方法
重新看待任何事物。
02:30
to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything.
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02:33
Even something as mysterious as love.
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就算是和爱情一般神秘的东西也是。
02:36
And so, to try to persuade you
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为了试着说服你们
02:38
of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is,
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数学的神妙用处,
02:43
I want to give you my top three mathematically verifiable tips for love.
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我想要给大家三个最重要的 在数学上可以验证的爱情秘诀。
02:50
(Laughter)
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好,首先最重要的秘技一:
02:52
OK, so Top Tip #1:
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如何赢得线上交友的机会。
02:54
How to win at online dating.
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02:58
So my favorite online dating website is OkCupid,
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我最爱的线上交友网站是 OkCupid (网站名:好吧,丘比特),
03:01
not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians.
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这并不仅仅因为这网站 是由一群数学家所架设的。
03:05
Now, because they're mathematicians,
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因为他们是数学家,
03:07
they have been collecting data
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他们已经搜集了
03:08
on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade.
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近乎这十年来所有 他们网站使用者的资料。
他们试着寻找
03:12
And they've been trying to search for patterns
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03:14
in the way that we talk about ourselves
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我们在线上
03:16
and the way that we interact with each other
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谈论自己的方式的模式,
以及我们和他人互动的模式。
03:18
on an online dating website.
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03:19
And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings.
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他们发现了一些重要的有趣结果。
03:22
But my particular favorite
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但我特别喜欢的结果之一是
03:24
is that it turns out that on an online dating website,
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在线上交友网站上
03:27
how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are,
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你的魅力程度并无法 预测你的受欢迎程度,
03:33
and actually, having people think that you're ugly
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事实上,让人们觉得你很丑
03:37
can work to your advantage.
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可以让你拥有优势。
03:39
(Laughter)
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03:40
Let me show you how this works.
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让我向各位展示这是怎么一回事。
03:42
In a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid,
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在 OkCupid 的一个志愿栏目中,
03:46
you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are
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你可以评价人们的魅力值,
03:49
on a scale between one and five.
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从 1 到 5 。
03:51
Now, if we compare this score, the average score,
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现在,如果我们比较这个分数, 平均分数,
03:54
to how many messages a selection of people receive,
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有多少人收到信息,
03:58
you can begin to get a sense
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你就可以开始理解
03:59
of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.
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在一个线上约会网站上 魅力指数与受欢迎程度有关。
这是 OkCupid 得到的图表。
04:04
This is the graph the OkCupid guys have come up with.
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04:07
And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true
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一件重要的值得注意的事是
04:10
that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get.
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并不是越有魅力的人, 收到的信息越多。
04:13
But the question arises then of what is it about people up here
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问题是,为什么上面的这些人
比下面这些人要受欢迎得多,
04:17
who are so much more popular than people down here,
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04:21
even though they have the same score of attractiveness?
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即便他们都有相同的魅力值?
04:24
And the reason why is that it's not just straightforward looks that are important.
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原因是,并不是直观的外貌是重要的。
04:28
So let me try to illustrate their findings with an example.
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让我来谈谈他们的发现, 以一个案例说明。
04:31
So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example,
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如果你拿 Portia de Rossi 为例,
04:35
everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman.
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每个人都同意 Portia de Rossi 是个非常美丽的女人,
04:39
Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either.
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没有人觉得她丑,但她也不是超模。
04:43
If you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker,
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如果你拿某个人,比如 Sarah Jessica Parker (译者注:欲望都市女主角)来和她比较
04:48
now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say,
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许多人,包括我自己,我应该会说,
Sarah Jessica Parker 魅力极为出众,
04:52
think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous
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04:56
and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures
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有可能是地表上
04:58
to have ever have walked on the face of the Earth.
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最美丽的物种之一。
05:01
But some other people, i.e., most of the Internet ...
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但许多其他人,比如,大多数的网友
05:06
(Laughter)
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似乎都认为她看起来像马。(笑声)
05:08
seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse.
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05:10
(Laughter)
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05:13
Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought
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如果你问人们他们觉得自己有多美,
05:17
Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were,
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Sarah Jessica Parker 或 Portia de Rossi
05:19
and you ask them to give them a score between one and five
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你要他们给自己打分,从 1 到 5,
05:22
I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score.
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我猜他们也会大约给一个 和大家都差不多的数字。
05:25
But the way that people would vote would be very different.
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但是人们投票的方式各自不同。
因此 Portia 的分数会聚集在 4 分左右,
05:28
So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the four
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因为所有人都同意,她非常美丽,
05:31
because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful,
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然而人们对 Sarah Jessica Parker 却有截然不同的意见。
05:33
whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion.
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她的分差悬殊很大。
05:36
There'd be a huge spread in her scores.
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05:38
And actually it's this spread that counts.
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然而,事实上,就是那分差别具意义,
05:40
It's this spread that makes you more popular
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那差异让你
05:42
on an online Internet dating website.
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在交友网站上受欢迎。
05:45
So what that means then
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所以那意味着
05:46
is that if some people think that you're attractive,
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如果有些人认为你别具魅力,
05:48
you're actually better off
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你最好有其他人认为
05:50
having some other people think that you're a massive minger.
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你很丑。
05:55
That's much better than everybody just thinking
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那远优于所有人认为
05:58
that you're the cute girl next door.
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你是邻家的可爱女孩。
当你们开始思考一下 这些寄送信息的人的话,
06:00
Now, I think this begins to make a bit more sense
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06:02
when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages.
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这开始变得合理些了。
06:05
So let's say that you think somebody's attractive,
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这么说吧,假设你认为那个人很美,
但你同时猜想其他人并不会 和你有同样的审美观。
06:08
but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested.
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那就意味着,你的竞争对手略少,
06:12
That means there's less competition for you
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06:14
and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch.
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这就给你增加了额外的动机 去与他/她认识。
与之相对的情况是 你认为某人很有吸引力,
06:17
Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive
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但你猜想所有其他的人 都认为那人很有吸引力,
06:20
but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive.
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06:23
Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest?
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嗯,让我们面对事实 为什么要自取其辱呢?
这就是最有趣的部分。
06:27
But here's where the really interesting part comes.
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因为当人们去选择他们 在交友网站上使用的照片时,
06:29
Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website,
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06:33
they often try to minimize the things
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他们总是试图最小化
06:35
that they think some people will find unattractive.
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其他人认为不吸引人之处的可能性。
06:39
The classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight
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最经典的例子是, 那些体重略重的人
06:43
deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,
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故意选择一个 剪裁非常不正的照片,
06:45
(Laughter)
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例如那些秃顶的男士,
06:47
or bald men, for example,
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06:48
deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats.
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故意去选择他们带着帽子的照片。
06:51
But actually this is the opposite of what you should do
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但你的行为是与你的目标相悖的,
06:54
if you want to be successful.
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如果你想要在网上交友成功。
06:55
You should really, instead,
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你真的应该,去选择 让你看起来与众不同的照片,
06:57
play up to whatever it is that makes you different,
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07:00
even if you think that some people will find it unattractive.
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即便你认为某些人会对此失去兴趣。
07:04
Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway,
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因为那些喜欢你的人 无论如何都会去喜欢你,
07:07
and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.
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而那些不重要的路人 只是渲染你的优势。
07:12
OK, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner.
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好了,最高秘诀 2 号: 如何选择完美的伴侣。
07:14
So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success
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让我们想象你的约会
07:17
on the dating scene.
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精彩成功。
07:19
But the question arises of how do you then convert that success
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但问题来了 你如何将那成功的约会
07:23
into longer-term happiness,
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转变成长期的快乐,尤其是,
07:26
and in particular, how do you decide when is the right time to settle down?
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你要如何选择 在哪个时刻安定下来?
07:31
Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in
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一般来说, 并不建议人们立刻
07:34
and marry the first person who comes along and shows you any interest at all.
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与第一个出现
对你表达好感的人结婚。
07:38
But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long
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但是,一般来说,如果你想要 最大化你未来数十年幸福婚姻的机会,
07:41
if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness.
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你也不愿等待太久。
07:44
As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it,
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我最喜欢的作家简·奥斯汀这样说,
07:47
"An unmarried woman of seven and twenty
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“一个未婚的 27 岁女子
07:50
can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."
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就别指望再能感受或激发爱情了。”
07:53
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
这太严重了,简。 你对爱了解多少呢?
07:56
Thanks a lot, Jane.
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07:57
What do you know about love?
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07:58
(Laughter)
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07:59
So the question is then,
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那么问题来了,
08:01
how do you know when is the right time to settle down,
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你怎么知道哪个时刻 是该要安定下来的时刻,
毕竟生命中你有很多可能的对象?
08:04
given all the people that you can date in your lifetime?
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幸好,我们可以运用一点儿数学
08:07
Thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use
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08:10
to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory.
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来帮助我们计算解决这个问题, 名叫 “最优停止理论”。
那么让我们来想象一下,
08:13
So let's imagine, then,
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你在 15 岁的时候开始交往,
08:15
that you start dating when you're 15
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08:17
and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35.
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理想状态下,你在 35 岁的时候会结婚。
08:21
And there's a number of people
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你的人生中
有很多潜在的约会对象,
08:23
that you could potentially date across your lifetime,
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08:25
and they'll be at varying levels of goodness.
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他们都有各自的优点。
08:27
Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married,
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规则是,你一旦跳进婚姻,
08:30
you can't look ahead to see what you could have had,
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你就不能继续前进寻找 你可能可以有的对象,
08:32
and equally, you can't go back and change your mind.
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你也不能回头来改变你的主意。
08:35
In my experience at least,
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我个人的经验看来,
08:37
I find that typically people don't much like being recalled
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一般人们不希望
08:39
years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.
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在被拒绝又过了多年后被找回来, 也许只有我这样想。
08:45
So the math says then that what you should do
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数学告诉我们
08:48
in the first 37 percent of your dating window,
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你应该拒绝认为会和 在你人生约会周期
08:51
you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.
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前 37% 时段出现的任何人 有严肃认真的婚姻关系。
08:55
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
08:57
And then, you should pick the next person that comes along
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接着,你要选择下一个人,
09:01
that is better than everybody that you've seen before.
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那个比你以前约会对象都好的人。
09:04
So here's the example.
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这里举个例子。
09:05
Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact,
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如果你这么做,从数学证明来看 可以认为,事实上
09:08
that this is the best possible way
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这可能是最好的选择
09:10
of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner.
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来最大化你找到完美伴侣的机会。
09:15
Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks.
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现在不幸的是,我必须告诉你 这个方法也是有风险的。
09:20
For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared
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比如,想象一下,假设你的完美伴侣
09:25
during your first 37 percent.
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出现在你约会历程的前 37%
09:28
Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.
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那就很不幸了, 你会拒绝他们。
09:30
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
如果你相信数学,
09:34
Now, if you're following the maths,
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恐怕你不会再找到
09:36
I'm afraid no one else comes along
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09:37
that's better than anyone you've seen before,
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比你以往见过更好的对象,
你就会持续拒绝每个人 然后孤独终老。
09:40
so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.
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09:44
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
09:46
Probably surrounded by cats ...
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可能会被猫咪包围 一点点啃食你的遗骸。
09:48
(Laughter)
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09:49
nibbling at your remains.
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09:51
OK, another risk is, let's imagine, instead,
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好,另一个风险是, 让我们想象,相反的,
09:55
that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent
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你约会历程前 37% 里第一个对象
09:58
are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people.
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极度愚蠢,无聊又很糟糕。
10:02
That's OK, because you're in your rejection phase,
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没事,因为你还在拒绝对象的阶段,
10:05
so that's fine, you can reject them.
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没问题, 你可以拒绝他们。
10:06
But then imagine the next person to come along
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但想象一下,下一个出现的人
10:10
is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible ...
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只是没那么无聊,愚蠢
10:13
(Laughter)
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10:14
than everybody that you've seen before.
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比你以前的对象都略好那么一点儿。
10:16
Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them ...
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如果你遵循数学, 恐怕你要和他们结婚
10:20
(Laughter)
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然后沉浸在一段, 实话说,次优的关系中。
10:21
and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal.
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10:24
Sorry about that.
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很抱歉。
10:25
But I do think that there's an opportunity here for Hallmark to cash in on
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但我认为,机会还是有的
贺曼公司迎合市场需求
10:29
and really cater for this market.
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10:30
A Valentine's Day card like this.
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出售这样的情人节贺卡。 (笑声)
10:32
(Laughter)
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“我亲爱的丈夫,你没有
10:33
"My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible
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10:36
than the first 37 percent of people I dated."
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我约会历程中前 37% 的男士 那么糟糕。”
10:38
(Laughter)
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这比一般的贺卡浪漫很多。
10:40
It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.
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10:43
(Laughter)
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10:45
OK, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate,
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这个数学方法不能保证 100% 的成功率,
10:49
but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better.
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但也没有更好的策略了。
10:53
And actually, in the wild, there are certain types of fish
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事实上,在动物界, 某个特定种类的鱼
遵循使用这样的策略。
10:56
which follow and employ this exact strategy.
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10:59
So they reject every possible suitor that turns up
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在交配期,它们拒绝
11:02
in the first 37 percent of the mating season,
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出现在前 37% 的每个求婚者,
11:05
and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window
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接着它们选择 37% 后出现的下一个
11:08
that's, I don't know, bigger and burlier
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比所见过的鱼
11:11
than all of the fish that they've seen before.
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体型更加庞大,更加结实的鱼。
11:13
I also think that subconsciously, humans, we do sort of do this anyway.
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我想作为人类 我们潜意识里也在做同样的选择。
11:18
We give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field,
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我们给自己更多时间寻找,
11:21
get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young.
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在我们年轻的时候 感受婚恋市场。
11:25
And then we only start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates
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我们只有在 20 岁年龄段的中后期
11:29
once we hit our mid-to-late 20s.
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才会很真寻找潜在的结婚对象。
11:31
I think this is conclusive proof, if ever it were needed,
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我想这证明了, 即使不确定是否需要,
每个人的大脑 都预配了点儿数学能力。
11:35
that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.
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11:39
OK, so that was Top Tip #2.
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好,上述就是最高秘诀 2 号。
11:41
Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce.
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现在,最高秘诀 3 号:如何避免离婚。
好的,让我们想象一下 你找到了你的完美对象
11:45
OK, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner
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你和他/她进入了一生的婚姻关系。
11:48
and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them.
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11:52
Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce,
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我假设每个人都不希望离婚,
11:56
apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?
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当然,也许除了 Piers Morgan 的太太?
12:00
(Laughter)
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12:02
But it's a sad fact of modern life
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可是,现代婚姻一个悲伤的事实
12:04
that one in two marriages in the States ends in divorce,
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就是美国离婚率高达 50%,
12:07
with the rest of the world not being far behind.
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世界其他国家也离这个数据不远。
12:11
Now, you can be forgiven, perhaps
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当然,你可以认为
12:13
for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup
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婚姻破裂的原因
12:17
are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation.
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不是数学运算理想的数据源。
一方面来说,很难了解到
12:21
For one thing, it's very hard to know
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你该去测量什么 或者是你该去量化什么。
12:23
what you should be measuring or what you should be quantifying.
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但这并没有阻止心理学家 John Gottman 做这样的研究。
12:26
But this didn't stop a psychologist, John Gottman, who did exactly that.
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12:32
Gottman observed hundreds of couples having a conversation
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Gottman 观察了数百对夫妇的对谈
12:37
and recorded, well, everything you can think of.
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尽可能录下来所有信息。
12:40
So he recorded what was said in the conversation,
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记录了对话的内容,
12:42
he recorded their skin conductivity,
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皮肤的传导性,
12:44
he recorded their facial expressions,
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面部表情,
12:46
their heart rates, their blood pressure,
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心跳,血压,
12:48
basically everything apart from whether or not the wife was actually always right,
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基本上除了“太太永远是对的” 以外的所有东西,
12:55
which incidentally she totally is.
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当然,太太永远是对的。
12:58
But what Gottman and his team found
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但是,Gottman 和他的团队发现
13:01
was that one of the most important predictors
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最能够准确预测
这对夫妻是否未来会离婚的
13:04
for whether or not a couple is going to get divorced
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是双方在对话过程中 积极还是消极。
13:06
was how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.
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13:11
Now, couples that were very low-risk
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那些离婚风险很低的夫妻
13:13
scored a lot more positive points on Gottman's scale than negative.
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在 Gottman 的测试中得到了 更多正面而不是负面的分数。
13:17
Whereas bad relationships,
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相反的,在糟糕的关系中,
13:20
by which I mean, probably going to get divorced,
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我是指那些可能离婚的夫妻,
他们发现自己沉浸在消极的漩涡中。
13:23
they found themselves getting into a spiral of negativity.
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13:27
Now just by using these very simple ideas,
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就用这些非常简单的方法,
13:29
Gottman and his group were able to predict
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Gottman 和他的团队能够准确预测
13:32
whether a given couple was going to get divorced
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一对夫妻是否会离婚,
13:35
with a 90 percent accuracy.
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准确率高达 90%
但是,直到他与 数学家 James Murray 联手,
13:38
But it wasn't until he teamed up with a mathematician, James Murray,
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13:41
that they really started to understand
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他们才真正找出
13:43
what causes these negativity spirals and how they occur.
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那些消极漩涡是 如何产生,为什么产生的。
13:47
And the results that they found,
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结果是他们发现
13:49
I think, are just incredibly impressively simple and interesting.
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我认为不可思议太令人惊叹 的简单而有趣。
13:53
So these equations predict how the wife or husband is going to respond
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这些算式,他们用来预测 妻子或是丈夫是如何去回应
13:58
in their next turn of the conversation,
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他们下一段对话,
他们的积极或消极程度是多少。
14:00
how positive or negative they're going to be.
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14:02
And these equations depend on
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这些算式,取决于
当他们独处时各自的情绪,
14:04
the mood of the person when they're on their own,
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14:06
the mood of the person when they're with their partner,
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当他们和伴侣在一起时候的情绪,
但最重要的是,
14:09
but most importantly, they depend on
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14:10
how much the husband and wife influence one another.
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取决于丈夫和妻子相互间的影响。
在这个阶段我认为最重要的是,
14:14
Now, I think it's important to point out at this stage,
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14:16
that these exact equations have also been shown
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这个一模一样的算式
同时也可以完美预测
14:20
to be perfectly able at describing
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14:22
what happens between two countries in an arms race.
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两个国家是否会开战。
(笑声)
14:27
(Laughter)
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14:30
So that an arguing couple spiraling into negativity
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因此一对沉浸于消极情绪
14:33
and teetering on the brink of divorce
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在离婚边缘摇摆的夫妻--
14:35
is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.
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实际在数学上等同于 即将开始一场核战争。
14:40
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
事实上,这个算式最重要的部分
14:43
But the really important term in this equation
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14:45
is the influence that people have on one another,
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是人们给对方带来的影响,
14:47
and in particular, something called "the negativity threshold."
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尤其是消极阈值。
消极阈值,
14:51
Now, the negativity threshold,
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14:52
you can think of as how annoying the husband can be
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你可以认为它指的是 丈夫讨厌到什么程度
14:57
before the wife starts to get really pissed off, and vice versa.
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就能惹到妻子真的暴怒, 或者是相反。
15:01
Now, I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding
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我一直认为美好的婚姻 是基于妥协和理解
15:06
and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves.
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并且给对方留足独处空间。
15:09
So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships
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我会想,最成功的关系是
15:12
were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold.
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当那里有非常高的消极阈值时
15:15
Where couples let things go
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夫妻共同选择不去理会这些问题。
15:17
and only brought things up if they really were a big deal.
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只有在非常严重的时候 才会严肃讨论。
15:20
But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team
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事实上,团队得出的 数学运算结果和后续研究成果显示
15:24
have shown the exact opposite is true.
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完全相反的结果。
15:27
The best couples, or the most successful couples,
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最完美的夫妻, 最成功的夫妻,
有着很低的消极阈值。
15:30
are the ones with a really low negativity threshold.
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15:33
These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed
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这些夫妻不会忽视矛盾
15:37
and allow each other some room to complain.
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给对方抱怨的空间。
15:40
These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship,
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这些夫妻持续努力 修复他们的关系,
15:45
that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage.
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他们对自己的婚姻 有着非常积极的预期。
15:48
Couples that don't let things go
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他们不会忽略矛盾
15:50
and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal.
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他们不会让一件件琐碎的小事 堆积成为巨大的问题。
15:56
Now of course, it takes a bit more than just a low negativity threshold
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当然,这不仅仅是 一个低消极阈值
16:01
and not compromising to have a successful relationship.
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和对成功关系毫不妥协的态度。
16:06
But I think that it's quite interesting
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但我认为,很有趣的是
16:08
to know that there is really mathematical evidence
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真的有数学证据
16:11
to say that you should never let the sun go down on your anger.
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来证明你永远不该长时间 积攒愤怒,太阳要下山了。 (译者注:这句话出自圣经)
16:14
So those are my top three tips
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上述就是我的三条最高秘诀,
16:16
of how maths can help you with love and relationships.
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有关数学如何让你有 更美好的爱情和关系。
16:19
But I hope, that aside from their use as tips,
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我希望,除了作为爱情秘诀,
16:21
they also give you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics.
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它们也展示了数学的力量。
16:25
Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing.
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对我来说,算式和符号 不仅仅是一样东西。
16:30
They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature
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它们表达出 自然令人赞叹的丰富性
16:35
and the startling simplicity
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以及简化
16:36
in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us,
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那些我们身边 扭曲,旋转,包围,进化的事物,
16:41
from how the world works to how we behave.
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从世界是如何运作的, 到人类行为举止。
16:44
So I hope that perhaps, for just a couple of you,
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我希望,也许你们中的一部分人
16:46
a little bit of insight into the mathematics of love
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能够了解一些 爱的数学运算,
能够让你爱数学稍微多一点。
16:49
can persuade you to have a little bit more love for mathematics.
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16:52
Thank you.
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谢谢。
16:53
(Applause)
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(鼓掌)
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