Why we need to talk about depression | Kevin Breel

Prevodilac: Mia Petkovic Lektor: Mile Živković

For a long time in my life,

Tokom dugog perioda mog života

I felt like I'd been living two different lives.

osećao sam se kao da živim dva različita života.

There's the life that everyone sees,

Jedan koji svi ostali vide,

and then there's the life that only I see.

i jedan koji vidim samo ja.

And in the life that everyone sees,

I u životu koji ostali vide,

who I am is a friend,

ja sam prijatelj,

a son, a brother,

sin, brat,

a stand-up comedian and a teenager.

stendap komičar i tinejdžer.

That's the life everyone sees.

To je život koji svi vide.

If you were to ask my friends and family to describe me,

Ako biste pitali moje prijatelje i porodicu da me opišu,

that's what they would tell you.

to bi vam rekli.

And that's a huge part of me. That is who I am.

I to je ogroman deo mene. To je ko sam ja.

And if you were to ask me to describe myself,

Ako biste me pitali da opišem sebe,

I'd probably say some of those same things.

verovatno bih vam rekao isto to.

And I wouldn't be lying,

I ne bih slagao,

but I wouldn't totally be telling you the truth, either,

ali ne bih ni potpuno govorio istinu.

because the truth is,

Zato što je istina

that's just the life everyone else sees.

da je to samo život koji svi ostali vide.

In the life that only I see, who I am,

U životu koji vidim samo ja, ko sam ja,

who I really am,

ko sam stvarno ja,

is someone who struggles intensely with depression.

je neko ko se intenzivno bori sa depresijom.

I have for the last six years of my life,

Tokom proteklih šest godina mog života

and I continue to every day.

do današnjeg dana.

Now, for someone who has never experienced depression

Za one koji nikada nisu iskusili depresiju

or doesn't really know what that means,

ili ni ne znaju šta to znači,

that might surprise them to hear,

to bi moglo da bude iznenađujuće,

because there's this pretty popular misconception

jer postoji veoma popularno pogrešno shvatanje

that depression is just being sad

da je depresija isto što i biti tužan

when something in your life goes wrong,

kada vam se desi nešto loše u životu,

when you break up with your girlfriend,

kada raskinete sa devojkom,

when you lose a loved one,

kada izgubite voljenu osobu,

when you don't get the job you wanted.

kada ne dobijete posao koji ste želeli.

But that's sadness. That's a natural thing.

Ali to je tuga. To je prirodna stvar.

That's a natural human emotion.

To je prirodno ljudsko osećanje.

Real depression isn't being sad

Prava depresija nije tugovanje

when something in your life goes wrong.

kada nešto u vašem životu krene naopako.

Real depression is being sad

Prava depresija je tugovanje

when everything in your life is going right.

kada se sve u vašem životu odvija kako treba.

That's real depression, and that's what I suffer from.

To je prava depresija, i ja patim od nje.

And to be totally honest,

I da budem potpuno iskren,

that's hard for me to stand up here and say.

teško mi je da stanem ovde i to kažem.

It's hard for me to talk about,

Teško mi je da pričam o tome,

and it seems to be hard for everyone to talk about,

i izgleda da je svima teško da pričaju o tome,

so much so that no one's talking about it.

toliko da niko to ne čini.

And no one's talking about depression, but we need to be,

I niko ne priča o depresiji, ali bismo morali

because right now it's a massive problem.

jer je trenutno ogroman problem.

It's a massive problem.

To je ogroman problem.

But we don't see it on social media, right?

Ali ne vidimo ga na socijalnim mrežama, zar ne?

We don't see it on Facebook. We don't see it on Twitter.

Ne vidimo ga na Fejsbuku. Ne vidimo ga na Tviteru.

We don't see it on the news, because it's not happy,

Ne vidimo ga u vestima, jer nije lep,

it's not fun, it's not light.

And so because we don't see it, we don't see the severity of it.

nije srećan, nije zabavan.

I zbog toga što ga ne vidimo, ne uočavamo njegovu ozbiljnost.

But the severity of it and the seriousness of it is this:

Ali njegova ozbiljnost leži u ovome:

every 30 seconds,

svakih 30 sekundi,

every 30 seconds, somewhere,

svakih 30 sekundi, negde,

someone in the world takes their own life

neko na svetu oduzme sebi život

because of depression,

zbog depresije,

and it might be two blocks away, it might be two countries away,

i neka je to dva bloka odavde, dve zemlje odavde,

it might be two continents away, but it's happening,

dva kontinenta odavde, ali se ipak dešava,

and it's happening every single day.

i dešava se svakog dana.

And we have a tendency, as a society,

Mi kao društvo imamo običaj

to look at that and go, "So what?"

da se osvrnemo na to i kažemo: "Pa šta?"

So what? We look at that, and we go, "That's your problem.

Pa šta? Posmatramo ga i kažemo: "To je tvoj problem.

That's their problem."

To je njihov problem."

We say we're sad and we say we're sorry,

Kažemo da smo tužni i da nam je žao,

but we also say, "So what?"

ali takođe kažemo i: "Pa šta?"

Well, two years ago it was my problem,

Pre dve godine to je bio moj problem,

because I sat on the edge of my bed

jer sam sedeo na ivici svog kreveta,

where I'd sat a million times before

na istom mestu gde sam sedeo milion puta pre toga,

and I was suicidal.

i želeo sam da se ubijem.

I was suicidal, and if you were to look at my life on the surface,

Želeo sam da se ubijem, i ako biste posmatrali moj život spolja,

you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal.

ne biste videli dete koje je to želelo.

You'd see a kid who was the captain of his basketball team,

Videli biste dete koje je kapiten košarkaškog tima,

the drama and theater student of the year,

pozorišnog glumca godine,

the English student of the year,

najboljeg učenika iz engleskog,

someone who was consistently on the honor roll

nekoga ko je stalno bio nagrađivan

and consistently at every party.

i bio prisutan na svim žurkama.

So you would say I wasn't depressed, you would say

Rekli biste da nisam depresivan,

I wasn't suicidal, but you would be wrong.

da nisam suicidan i ne biste bili u pravu.

You would be wrong. So I sat there that night

Pogrešili biste. Sedeo sam tako te noći

beside a bottle of pills with a pen and paper in my hand

pored bočice pilula, sa olovkom i papirom u ruci

and I thought about taking my own life

razmišljajući da oduzmem sebi život

and I came this close to doing it.

i bio sam tako blizu.

I came this close to doing it.

Bio sam toliko blizu da to učinim.

And I didn't, so that makes me one of the lucky ones,

Ali nisam, što me čini jednim od srećnika,

one of the people who gets to step out on the ledge

jednim od onih koji dođu do ivice provalije,

and look down but not jump,

pogledaju dole i ne skoče,

one of the lucky ones who survives.

jednim od srećnika koji prežive.

Well, I survived, and that just leaves me with my story,

Preživeo sam i ostao sa svojom pričom,

and my story is this:

pričom koja ide ovako:

In four simple words, I suffer from depression.

U četiri proste reči - ja bolujem od depresije.

I suffer from depression,

Ja bolujem od depresije,

and for a long time, I think,

i tokom dugog perioda sam, verujem,

I was living two totally different lives,

živeo dva potpuno različita života,

where one person was always afraid of the other.

gde se jedna osoba uvek plašila druge.

I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was,

Plašio sam se da će ljudi otkriti kakav sam zaista,

that I wasn't the perfect, popular kid in high school everyone thought I was,

da nisam savršeno, popularno dete u srednjoj školi, kao što su svi mislili,

that beneath my smile, there was struggle,

ispod mog osmeha krila se borba,

and beneath my light, there was dark,

ispod svetla, krila se tama,

and beneath my big personality just hid even bigger pain.

ispod mog velikog karaktera, krio se još veći bol.

See, some people might fear girls not liking them back.

Vidite, neki ljudi se plaše da se neće dopasti devojkama.

Some people might fear sharks. Some people might fear death.

Neki ljudi se plaše ajkula. Neki smrti.

But for me, for a large part of my life, I feared myself.

A ja sam se veliku većinu svog života plašio sebe.

I feared my truth, I feared my honesty, I feared my vulnerability,

Plašio sam se svoje istine, svog poštenja, svoje ranjivosti,

and that fear made me feel

i taj strah je činio da se osećam

like I was forced into a corner,

kao da sam sateran u ćošak,

like I was forced into a corner and there was only one way out,

kao da sam sateran u ćošak i imam samo jedan izlaz

and so I thought about that way every single day.

o kome sam razmišljao svakog dana.

I thought about it every single day,

Mislio sam o tome svakog mogućeg dana

and if I'm being totally honest, standing here

i da budem potpuno iskren, stojeći ovde

I've thought about it again since, because that's the sickness,

pomislio sam na to još jednom, jer to je bolest,

that's the struggle, that's depression,

to je borba, to je depresija,

and depression isn't chicken pox.

a depresija nisu boginje.

You don't beat it once and it's gone forever.

Ne preležite je jednom i za sva vremena.

It's something you live with. It's something you live in.

To je nešto sa čime se živi. U čemu se živi.

It's the roommate you can't kick out. It's the voice you can't ignore.

To je cimer koga ne možete da isterate. To je glas koji ne možete da ignorišete.

It's the feelings you can't seem to escape,

To su osećanja od kojih ne možete da pobegnete,

the scariest part is that after a while,

gde je najstrašniji deo da posle nekog vremena,

you become numb to it. It becomes normal for you,

oguglate na to.

To vam postaje normalno, i ono čega se zaista najviše plašite

and what you really fear the most

isn't the suffering inside of you.

nije patnja u vama.

It's the stigma inside of others,

To je beleg od strane drugih,

it's the shame, it's the embarrassment,

to je sramota, stid,

it's the disapproving look on a friend's face,

pogled neodobravanja na licu prijatelja,

it's the whispers in the hallway that you're weak,

šapati iza leđa dok prolazite, da ste slabi,

it's the comments that you're crazy.

komentari da ste ludi.

That's what keeps you from getting help.

To je ono što vas sprečava da zatražite pomoć.

That's what makes you hold it in and hide it.

To vas tera da je čuvate i krijete.

It's the stigma. So you hold it in and you hide it,

To je stigma.

I tako je čuvate i krijete, i čuvate i krijete,

and you hold it in and you hide it,

and even though it's keeping you in bed every day

i iako vas drži prikovanim za krevet svakog dana,

and it's making your life feel empty no matter how much you try and fill it,

i čini da se osećate kao da vam je život prazan, bez obzira koliko se trudite,

you hide it, because the stigma in our society

krijete je, jer je osuda u našem društvu

around depression is very real.

sveopšte prisutna.

It's very real, and if you think that it isn't, ask yourself this:

Jako stvarna, i ukoliko mislite da nije, zapitajte se sledeće:

Would you rather make your next Facebook status

Da li biste radije postavili svoj sledeći Fejsbuk status

say you're having a tough time getting out of bed

da imate problem da ustanete iz kreveta

because you hurt your back

zato što ste povredili leđa

or you're having a tough time getting out of bed every morning

ili vam je teško da svakog jutra ustanete iz kreveta

because you're depressed?

jer ste u depresiji?

That's the stigma, because unfortunately,

To je stigma, jer nažalost

we live in a world where if you break your arm,

živimo u svetu u kom ako slomite ruku,

everyone runs over to sign your cast,

svako će doći da vam se potpiše na gips,

but if you tell people you're depressed, everyone runs the other way.

ali ako kažete ljudima da ste depresivni, svi beže od vas.

That's the stigma.

To je stigma.

We are so, so, so accepting of any body part breaking down

Mi toliko prihvatamo sve bolesti našeg tela

other than our brains. And that's ignorance.

osim bolesti mozga.

A to je neznanje.

That's pure ignorance, and that ignorance has created

To je čisto neznanje, i to neznanje je stvorilo

a world that doesn't understand depression,

svet koji ne razume depresiju,

that doesn't understand mental health.

koji ne razume mentalno zdravlje.

And that's ironic to me, because depression

To je ironično po mom mišljenju, zato što je depresija

is one of the best documented problems we have in the world,

jedan od najbolje dokumentovanih problema na svetu,

yet it's one of the least discussed.

a ipak jedan od najmanje diskutovanih.

We just push it aside and put it in a corner

Mi je samo guramo pod tepih

and pretend it's not there and hope it'll fix itself.

i pretvaramo se da ne postoji nadajući se da će se srediti sama od sebe.

Well, it won't. It hasn't, and it's not going to,

E pa, neće.

Nije, niti će, jer je to pusta želja,

because that's wishful thinking,

and wishful thinking isn't a game plan, it's procrastination,

a pusta želja nije plan, to je odlaganje,

and we can't procrastinate on something this important.

i ne možemo više odlagati tako bitne stvari.

The first step in solving any problem

Prvi korak u rešavanju bilo kog problema

is recognizing there is one.

je priznavanje da problem postoji.

Well, we haven't done that, so we can't really expect

Mi to nismo uradili i ne možemo da očekujemo

to find an answer when we're still afraid of the question.

da ćemo naći rešenje, ako se još uvek plašimo da postavimo pitanje.

And I don't know what the solution is.

Ja ne znam koje je rešenje.

I wish I did, but I don't -- but I think,

Želeo bih da znam, ali ne znam.

I think it has to start here.

Ali smatram da mora da počne odavde.

It has to start with me, it has to start with you,

Mora da počne od mene, od vas,

it has to start with the people who are suffering,

od ljudi koji pate,

the ones who are hidden in the shadows.

onih koji su skriveni u senci.

We need to speak up and shatter the silence.

Moramo da progovorimo i razbijemo tišinu.

We need to be the ones who are brave for what we believe in,

Moramo da budemo hrabri zbog onoga u šta verujemo,

because if there's one thing that I've come to realize,

jer ako sam nešto shvatio,

if there's one thing that I see as the biggest problem,

ako postoji jedna stvar koju vidim kao najveći problem,

it's not in building a world

to nije građenje sveta

where we eliminate the ignorance of others.

gde eliminišemo neznanje drugih.

It's in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves,

Trebalo bi graditi svet gde se učimo prihvatanju sebe,

where we're okay with who we are,

gde smo zadovoljni sa onim što smo

because when we get honest,

jer kada se otvorimo

we see that we all struggle and we all suffer.

vidimo da se svi borimo i svi patimo.

Whether it's with this, whether it's with something else,

Da li zbog ovoga ili zbog onoga,

we all know what it is to hurt.

svi znamo kako je kad tugujemo.

We all know what it is to have pain in our heart,

Svi znamo kako je imati bol u našim srcima,

and we all know how important it is to heal.

i koliko je neophodno da zaceli.

But right now, depression is society's deep cut

Ali trenutno, depresija je duboka rana društva

that we're content to put a Band-Aid over and pretend it's not there.

preko koje ćemo staviti flaster i pretvarati se da ne postoji.

Well, it is there. It is there, and you know what? It's okay.

E pa, tu je. Tu je i znate šta? To je okej.

Depression is okay. If you're going through it, know that you're okay.

Depresija je okej. Ako prolazite kroz nju, znajte da ste okej.

And know that you're sick, you're not weak,

Znajte da ste bolesni, a ne slabi,

and it's an issue, not an identity,

da je problem, a ne identitet,

because when you get past the fear and the ridicule

zato što kada prevaziđete strah od ismevanja

and the judgment and the stigma of others,

i osuđivanja i obeležavanja od strane drugih,

you can see depression for what it really is,

videćete šta ona zapravo jeste,

and that's just a part of life,

deo života, samo deo života.

just a part of life, and as much as I hate,

I ma koliko mrzeo,

as much as I hate some of the places,

zaista mrzeo neka mesta,

some of the parts of my life depression has dragged me down to,

neke delove života u koje me je depresija povukla,

in a lot of ways I'm grateful for it.

na mnogo načina sam zahvalan zbog nje.

Because yeah, it's put me in the valleys,

Jer da, bacala me je u doline,

but only to show me there's peaks,

ali samo da bi mi pokazala vrhove,

and yeah it's dragged me through the dark

vukla me je kroz mrak,

but only to remind me there is light.

da bi me podsetila da postoji svetlost.

My pain, more than anything in 19 years on this planet,

Moj bol, više nego bilo šta drugo za 19 godina na ovoj planeti,

has given me perspective, and my hurt,

mi je dao perspektivu, i moj bol,

my hurt has forced me to have hope,

moj bol me je naterao da imam nadu,

have hope and to have faith, faith in myself,

da imam nadu, veru, veru u sebe,

faith in others, faith that it can get better,

veru u druge, veru da će biti bolje,

that we can change this, that we can speak up

da možemo da promenimo ovo, da progovorimo

and speak out and fight back against ignorance,

jasno i glasno i borimo se protiv neznanja,

fight back against intolerance,

protiv netolerancije,

and more than anything,

i pre svega

learn to love ourselves,

naučimo da volimo sebe,

learn to accept ourselves for who we are,

prihvatimo sebe kakvim smo,

the people we are, not the people the world wants us to be.

kakvi smo, ne kakvima bi svet želeo da budemo.

Because the world I believe in is one

Zato što je svet u koji verujem onaj

where embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark.

gde prihvatanje svetlosti ne znači ignorisanje mraka.

The world I believe in is one where we're measured

Svet u koji verujem je onaj u kome se merimo

by our ability to overcome adversities, not avoid them.

po našoj sposobnosti da prevaziđemo nevolje, ne da ih izbegavamo.

The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye

Svet u koji verujem je onaj gde mogu da pogledam bilo koga u oči

and say, "I'm going through hell,"

i kažem: "Prolazim kroz pakao",

and they can look back at me and go, "Me too," and that's okay,

i oni me pogledaju i kažu: "I ja", i to je okej, jer je depresija okej.

and it's okay because depression is okay. We're people.

Mi smo ljudi.

We're people, and we struggle and we suffer

Mi smo ljudi i borimo se i patimo

and we bleed and we cry, and if you think that true strength

i krvarimo i plačemo, i ako mislite da je prava snaga

means never showing any weakness, then I'm here

nikad ne pokazivati svoje slabosti,

to tell you you're wrong.

tu sam da vam kažem da grešite.

You're wrong, because it's the opposite.

Grešite, jer je sasvim suprotno.

We're people, and we have problems.

Mi smo ljudska bića i imamo probleme.

We're not perfect, and that's okay.

Nismo savršeni i to je okej.

So we need to stop the ignorance,

Moramo da zaustavimo neznanje,

stop the intolerance, stop the stigma,

netoleranciju, obeležavanje,

and stop the silence, and we need to take away the taboos,

tišinu, prekinemo tabue,

take a look at the truth, and start talking,

pogledamo istini u oči i počnemo da pričamo

because the only way we're going to beat a problem

jer jedini način da pobedimo problem

that people are battling alone

sa kojim se ljudi bore sami

is by standing strong together,

je da se ujedinimo

by standing strong together.

i stanemo jedni uz druge.

And I believe that we can.

Ja verujem da mi to možemo.

I believe that we can. Thank you guys so much.

Verujem da možemo. Hvala vam mnogo.

This is a dream come true. Thank you. (Applause)

Ovo je ostvarenje sna. Hvala. (Aplauz)

Thank you. (Applause)

Hvala. (Aplauz)