Why we need to talk about depression | Kevin Breel

翻译人员: Sophia Liu 校对人员: 胡 春嘉

For a long time in my life,

在我生命中非常长的一段时间内，

I felt like I'd been living two different lives.

我感觉我在过着两种不同的人生。

There's the life that everyone sees,

一个是每个人都看见的人生，

and then there's the life that only I see.

另一个是只有我能看见的人生。

And in the life that everyone sees,

在每个人都能看见的人生里，

who I am is a friend,

我的角色是一个朋友、

a son, a brother,

儿子、兄弟、

a stand-up comedian and a teenager.

喜剧演员和一名青少年。

That's the life everyone sees.

这是每个人都看到的人生。

If you were to ask my friends and family to describe me,

如果你要问我的朋友和家人来形容我，

that's what they would tell you.

这是他们会告诉你的。

And that's a huge part of me. That is who I am.

这是很大一部分的我 这是我在这社会上的角色

And if you were to ask me to describe myself,

如果你要我自己来形容我，

I'd probably say some of those same things.

我可能会说一些与上相同的东西。

And I wouldn't be lying,

我不会说谎，

but I wouldn't totally be telling you the truth, either,

但也不会完全会告诉你真相，

because the truth is,

因为事实是，

that's just the life everyone else sees.

这就是其他人看到的人生。

In the life that only I see, who I am,

另外一个人生只有我自己能看到 我是谁

who I really am,

我其实是

is someone who struggles intensely with depression.

一个与抑郁症激烈斗争的人。

I have for the last six years of my life,

在生命中的近六年来 我与抑郁症斗争

and I continue to every day.

也会在接下来的每一天内继续斗争。

Now, for someone who has never experienced depression

对于从未经历过抑郁的人

or doesn't really know what that means,

或不太知道这是什么意思的人，

that might surprise them to hear,

他们听到这些也许会感到诧异，

because there's this pretty popular misconception

因为在社会上有普遍的误解认为说

that depression is just being sad

抑郁症只是在当你生命中出了什么差错的时候

when something in your life goes wrong,

会难过，

when you break up with your girlfriend,

当你和你的女朋友分手

when you lose a loved one,

当你失去心爱的人，

when you don't get the job you wanted.

当你找不到理想的工作的时候。

But that's sadness. That's a natural thing.

但这只是悲伤。这是一件很自然的事情。

That's a natural human emotion.

这是自然的人类情感。

Real depression isn't being sad

真正的抑郁不是

when something in your life goes wrong.

当你生命中出了差错的时候悲伤。

Real depression is being sad

真正的抑郁是

when everything in your life is going right.

当你生活中的一切都好的时候悲伤。

That's real depression, and that's what I suffer from.

那才是真正的抑郁，而那才是我所遭受的。

And to be totally honest,

坦诚说，

that's hard for me to stand up here and say.

出现在这里并且把它公之于众是一件很难的事。

It's hard for me to talk about,

我很难去把它诉说，

and it seems to be hard for everyone to talk about,

这似乎也很难让每个人去谈这一点，

so much so that no one's talking about it.

以至于没有人去谈它。

And no one's talking about depression, but we need to be,

没有人会去谈抑郁， 但我们需要去谈论它

because right now it's a massive problem.

因为现在它一个很大的问题。

It's a massive problem.

这是一个巨大的问题。

But we don't see it on social media, right?

但我们并没有看到它出现在媒体上，对吗？

We don't see it on Facebook. We don't see it on Twitter.

我们没有在 Facebook 上看到它 我们也没有在 Twitter 上看到它。

We don't see it on the news, because it's not happy,

我们也没有在新闻上看到它，因为它不是快乐的，

it's not fun, it's not light.

是不有趣的，也不是光明的。

And so because we don't see it, we don't see the severity of it.

于是，正因为我们看不到它， 所以我们没有意识到它的严重性。

But the severity of it and the seriousness of it is this:

然而它的确很严重：

every 30 seconds,

每隔 30 秒钟，

every 30 seconds, somewhere,

每隔 30 秒，在某个地方，

someone in the world takes their own life

在这个世界上的某个人就在

because of depression,

因为抑郁而自杀，

and it might be two blocks away, it might be two countries away,

它有可能是在两个街区之外， 它也可能在两个国家之外，

it might be two continents away, but it's happening,

它可能是两个大洲之外， 但它正在发生，

and it's happening every single day.

而且每一天都在发生着。

And we have a tendency, as a society,

作为一个社会 我们有一种趋势，

to look at that and go, "So what?"

看着这种情况会说，"那又怎样?"

So what? We look at that, and we go, "That's your problem.

那又怎样？我们知道这个情况然后说， "这是你的问题。

That's their problem."

这是他们的问题。”

We say we're sad and we say we're sorry,

我们说我们很难过，我们说我们感到很抱歉，

but we also say, "So what?"

但我们还说，"那又怎样?"

Well, two years ago it was my problem,

好吧，两年前，它是我的问题，

because I sat on the edge of my bed

因为我坐在我的床边

where I'd sat a million times before

曾坐过千百万次的床边

and I was suicidal.

想着要自杀。

I was suicidal, and if you were to look at my life on the surface,

我有自杀倾向， 但如果你从表面上看我的生活，

you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal.

你不会看到一个自杀倾向的孩子。

You'd see a kid who was the captain of his basketball team,

你会看到一个篮球队队长、

the drama and theater student of the year,

今年戏剧班的学生、

the English student of the year,

今年学习英语的学生、

someone who was consistently on the honor roll

一个经常出现在荣誉榜上的

and consistently at every party.

和一个经常出现在任何派对上的人。

So you would say I wasn't depressed, you would say

所以你会说我不是抑郁，你会说

I wasn't suicidal, but you would be wrong.

我不是自杀，但你就错了。

You would be wrong. So I sat there that night

你就错了。所以我那天晚上坐在床上

beside a bottle of pills with a pen and paper in my hand

旁边是一瓶药，我手上拿着纸笔

and I thought about taking my own life

我想着要终结自己的生命

and I came this close to doing it.

我差一点点就做了

I came this close to doing it.

我差点就这样做了。

And I didn't, so that makes me one of the lucky ones,

然而我没有 所以我成为了幸运的一份子，

one of the people who gets to step out on the ledge

一个人从边缘中走下来的人

and look down but not jump,

我从我的人生大楼向下看但并没有跳下去，

one of the lucky ones who survives.

我是幸运活下来的人之一。

Well, I survived, and that just leaves me with my story,

嗯，我活下来了，那让我跟我的故事并存，

and my story is this:

我的故事是：

In four simple words, I suffer from depression.

简单的四个字，患抑郁症。

I suffer from depression,

我患上抑郁症，

and for a long time, I think,

在很长时间，我想，

I was living two totally different lives,

我在活着两个完全不同的人生，

where one person was always afraid of the other.

一个总是害怕别人的人。

I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was,

我害怕人们会看到我真实的样子，

that I wasn't the perfect, popular kid in high school everyone thought I was,

并不是一个每个人都认为我是的样子： 高中的风光小孩，我其实并不完美

that beneath my smile, there was struggle,

在我的微笑下面是斗争，

and beneath my light, there was dark,

在我的光明下面是黑暗，

and beneath my big personality just hid even bigger pain.

在我的人格下藏着更深层次的痛苦。

See, some people might fear girls not liking them back.

比如有些人害怕喜欢的女生不喜欢他。

Some people might fear sharks. Some people might fear death.

有些人可能害怕鲨鱼。 有些人可能会害怕死亡。

But for me, for a large part of my life, I feared myself.

但对我来说， 我生命中的很大一部分是害怕我自己。

I feared my truth, I feared my honesty, I feared my vulnerability,

我害怕真相，我害怕诚实，我害怕脆弱，

and that fear made me feel

这种恐惧让我感觉到

like I was forced into a corner,

就像我被被逼迫到一个角落里，

like I was forced into a corner and there was only one way out,

就像我被逼到角落里，只有一个出路，

and so I thought about that way every single day.

于是，我每一天都这样想。

I thought about it every single day,

我每一天都这样想，

and if I'm being totally honest, standing here

如果我完全诚实的站在这里

I've thought about it again since, because that's the sickness,

我告诉你我有再次想过，因为这就是疾病，

that's the struggle, that's depression,

这就是斗争，那是抑郁，

and depression isn't chicken pox.

抑郁症不是水痘。

You don't beat it once and it's gone forever.

你不是抗争一次过，它就永远离开了。

It's something you live with. It's something you live in.

它跟你相依为命。它是你生命里的东西。

It's the roommate you can't kick out. It's the voice you can't ignore.

它是你不能踢出去的室友。它是你不能忽视的杂音。

It's the feelings you can't seem to escape,

它是你不能逃脱的情感，

the scariest part is that after a while,

最可怕的是过了一段时间，

you become numb to it. It becomes normal for you,

你变得麻木。它对于你来说已经很正常了，

and what you really fear the most

你真正最害怕的

isn't the suffering inside of you.

不是你内心的痛苦。

It's the stigma inside of others,

这是在别人眼里的耻辱

it's the shame, it's the embarrassment,

它是耻辱，是尴尬，

it's the disapproving look on a friend's face,

它是朋友脸上不赞成的表情，

it's the whispers in the hallway that you're weak,

它是走廊的低语， 轻声说你太懦弱，

it's the comments that you're crazy.

它是你疯了的评语。

That's what keeps you from getting help.

这就是让你得不到帮助的原因。

That's what makes you hold it in and hide it.

这就是让你它控制它和隐藏它的原因。

It's the stigma. So you hold it in and you hide it,

因为这是一种耻辱。 所以你控制它和隐藏它，

and you hold it in and you hide it,

你控制它个隐藏它，

and even though it's keeping you in bed every day

即使它让你每一天待在床上

and it's making your life feel empty no matter how much you try and fill it,

它让你的人生感到空虚无论你怎样努力地去填补它，

you hide it, because the stigma in our society

你隐藏它，因为在我们的社会中

around depression is very real.

有关抑郁症的耻辱感是非常真实的。

It's very real, and if you think that it isn't, ask yourself this:

它很真实，如果你认为它不是，问问你自己：

Would you rather make your next Facebook status

你想让你的下一个 Facebook 状态是

say you're having a tough time getting out of bed

说你很难下床

because you hurt your back

因为你背有伤

or you're having a tough time getting out of bed every morning

还是你很难下床

because you're depressed?

是因为你抑郁？

That's the stigma, because unfortunately,

这是耻辱，因为不幸的是，

we live in a world where if you break your arm,

我们生活在一个如果你的胳膊伤了，

everyone runs over to sign your cast,

大家都跑过去要在你的石膏上签名，

but if you tell people you're depressed, everyone runs the other way.

但如果你告诉人们你抑郁， 每个人跑向了另外一边。

That's the stigma.

而这就是耻辱。

We are so, so, so accepting of any body part breaking down

我们是如此接受任何身体部位受损

other than our brains. And that's ignorance.

除了我们的大脑。 这是一种无知。

That's pure ignorance, and that ignorance has created

纯粹的无知，制造这种无知的是

a world that doesn't understand depression,

一个不了解抑郁症的世界

that doesn't understand mental health.

不懂心理健康的世界。

And that's ironic to me, because depression

对于我来说这很讽刺， 因为抑郁

is one of the best documented problems we have in the world,

是我们这世界上最有迹可循的问题之一

yet it's one of the least discussed.

然而它是最少被讨论的话题之一。

We just push it aside and put it in a corner

我们只是把它放到一边， 放到角落里

and pretend it's not there and hope it'll fix itself.

假装它不存在，并希望它就好了。

Well, it won't. It hasn't, and it's not going to,

它不会、它没有、也不即将要，

because that's wishful thinking,

因为那只是一厢情愿，

and wishful thinking isn't a game plan, it's procrastination,

一厢情愿不是一个游戏计划，它是拖沓，

and we can't procrastinate on something this important.

而我们不能拖延这么重要的事情。

The first step in solving any problem

解决任何问题的第一步

is recognizing there is one.

是认识到这一问题的存在。

Well, we haven't done that, so we can't really expect

我们还没能做到，所以我们不能期待

to find an answer when we're still afraid of the question.

当我们还在害怕问题的时候找到答案。

And I don't know what the solution is.

我不知道该解决方案是什么。

I wish I did, but I don't -- but I think,

我希望我知道，但我不知道 但我认为，

I think it has to start here.

我认为它已经在这里开始。

It has to start with me, it has to start with you,

它和我一同开始， 它与你一同开始，

it has to start with the people who are suffering,

它与遭受过的人们一同开始，

the ones who are hidden in the shadows.

那些被隐藏在阴影中的人们。

We need to speak up and shatter the silence.

我们需要说出来打破沉默。

We need to be the ones who are brave for what we believe in,

我们需要成为那些为我们相信的事情而勇敢的人，

because if there's one thing that I've come to realize,

因为如果有一件事是我认识到的，那就是，

if there's one thing that I see as the biggest problem,

如果有一件事是我知道是最要紧的问题，

it's not in building a world

它并不是创造一个

where we eliminate the ignorance of others.

我们消除他人的无知的世界。

It's in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves,

而是创造一个我们接受自己的世界，

where we're okay with who we are,

接受我们真实的自己，

because when we get honest,

因为当我们诚实面对的时候，

we see that we all struggle and we all suffer.

我们会看到我们所有的斗争和所有的苦难。

Whether it's with this, whether it's with something else,

无论是抑郁症，还是别的事情，

we all know what it is to hurt.

我们都知道什么是痛苦的。

We all know what it is to have pain in our heart,

我们都知道我们的心中有苦

and we all know how important it is to heal.

我们也知道去疗伤有多重要。

But right now, depression is society's deep cut

但是现在，抑郁症是社会的伤口

that we're content to put a Band-Aid over and pretend it's not there.

我们习惯于把创口贴贴上就假装它不存在。

Well, it is there. It is there, and you know what? It's okay.

而它是存在的。而且你知道么？它并没什么。

Depression is okay. If you're going through it, know that you're okay.

抑郁症没什么。因为如果你克服了它，你就知道你没事。

And know that you're sick, you're not weak,

知道虽然你病了，但你并不脆弱，

and it's an issue, not an identity,

它是一个问题，不是一个身份标签，

because when you get past the fear and the ridicule

因为当你经历过你过去的恐惧和嘲笑

and the judgment and the stigma of others,

别人对你的看法和耻辱，

you can see depression for what it really is,

你就可以看到抑郁症真实的身份，

and that's just a part of life,

它只是生活的一部分，

just a part of life, and as much as I hate,

只是生活的一部分，虽然我讨厌，

as much as I hate some of the places,

就像我讨厌的一些地方，

some of the parts of my life depression has dragged me down to,

我生活的某一部分已经被抑郁症拖垮，

in a lot of ways I'm grateful for it.

但在很多方面上我是非常感激的。

Because yeah, it's put me in the valleys,

因为它是让我经历低谷，

but only to show me there's peaks,

但只是为了向我证明有高峰，

and yeah it's dragged me through the dark

是的，它将我拉进了黑暗，

but only to remind me there is light.

但只是为了提醒我有光。

My pain, more than anything in 19 years on this planet,

我的痛苦，比我在生活的十九年的任何事都能

has given me perspective, and my hurt,

给我看待事情的角度，而我的伤口

my hurt has forced me to have hope,

让我有了希望

have hope and to have faith, faith in myself,

有希望，有信念，对我自己的信念

faith in others, faith that it can get better,

对其他人的新年，可以更好的信念，

that we can change this, that we can speak up

我们可以改变这一点，我们可以把它说出来

and speak out and fight back against ignorance,

说出来与对抗无知，

fight back against intolerance,

反击不容忍，

and more than anything,

还有一件比什么都重要的是，那就是，

learn to love ourselves,

学会爱自己，

learn to accept ourselves for who we are,

学会接受我们自己，

the people we are, not the people the world wants us to be.

我们不是别人想要我们成为的那个人。

Because the world I believe in is one

因为我相信在这个世界上

where embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark.

拥抱光明并不意味着忽略黑暗。

The world I believe in is one where we're measured

我相信的世界是一个我们被评判的标准是

by our ability to overcome adversities, not avoid them.

我们克服逆境的能力，不是逃避它们。

The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye

我相信的世界是一个我可以看着某一个人的眼睛

and say, "I'm going through hell,"

并说，"我正在过着地狱般的生活，"

and they can look back at me and go, "Me too," and that's okay,

他们可以也看着我跟我说，“我也是” 这是可以接受的，

and it's okay because depression is okay. We're people.

这没关系因为抑郁没什么。我们都是人。

We're people, and we struggle and we suffer

我们是人，我们斗争、我们遭受痛苦

and we bleed and we cry, and if you think that true strength

我们流血、我们哭， 如果你认为真正的力量

means never showing any weakness, then I'm here

代表从未有任何弱点，那么我在这里

to tell you you're wrong.

要告诉你你错了。

You're wrong, because it's the opposite.

你错了，因为它是相反的。

We're people, and we have problems.

我们是人，我们会有问题。

We're not perfect, and that's okay.

我们不是完美的，而这没什么。

So we need to stop the ignorance,

所以我们需要停止无知，

stop the intolerance, stop the stigma,

停止不容忍，停止蔑视，

and stop the silence, and we need to take away the taboos,

和停止沉默， 我们需要打破禁忌，

take a look at the truth, and start talking,

真视真相，并开始说话，

because the only way we're going to beat a problem

因为唯一处理

that people are battling alone

人们单独作战的问题

is by standing strong together,

就是坚强的站在一起，

by standing strong together.

坚强的站在一起。

And I believe that we can.

我相信我们可以。

I believe that we can. Thank you guys so much.

我相信我们可以。非常感谢。

This is a dream come true. Thank you. (Applause)

我的梦想成真了。谢谢。（掌声）

Thank you. (Applause)

谢谢。（掌声）