Why we need to talk about depression | Kevin Breel

Translator: Alisa Xholi Reviewer: Aida Musai

For a long time in my life,

Per nje kohe te gjate ne jeten time,

I felt like I'd been living two different lives.

ndjeja sikur po jetoja dy jete te ndryshme.

There's the life that everyone sees,

Jeten qe shohin te gjithe,

and then there's the life that only I see.

dhe jeten qe vetem une e shoh.

And in the life that everyone sees,

Dhe ne jeten qe shohin te gjithe

who I am is a friend,

une jam nje mik,

a son, a brother,

nje djale, nje vella,

a stand-up comedian and a teenager.

nje komedian dhe nje adoleshent.

That's the life everyone sees.

Kjo eshte jeta qe shohin te gjithe.

If you were to ask my friends and family to describe me,

Nese do t'i kerkonit miqvee dhe familjes sime te me pershkruajne,

that's what they would tell you.

ata do te thonin kete liste.

And that's a huge part of me. That is who I am.

Dhe ajo eshte nje pjese e madhe imja. Ajo eshte cka une jam.

And if you were to ask me to describe myself,

Dhe nese do me pyesnit mua te pershkruaja veten time,

I'd probably say some of those same things.

me siguri mundesi do permendja disa nga ato gjera.

And I wouldn't be lying,

Dhe nuk do shtiresha,

but I wouldn't totally be telling you the truth, either,

por nuk do te isha duke thene te verteten e plote,

because the truth is,

sepse e verteta eshte,

that's just the life everyone else sees.

se ajo eshte thjesht jeta qe shohin te tjeret.

In the life that only I see, who I am,

Ne jeten qe e shoh vetem une, ai qe une jam,

who I really am,

ai qe jam vertete,

is someone who struggles intensely with depression.

eshte dikush qe lufton intensivisht depresionin.

I have for the last six years of my life,

E kam bere per gjashte vitet e fundit ne jeten time,

and I continue to every day.

dhe vazhdoj t'a bej cdo dite.

Now, for someone who has never experienced depression

Per dike qe nuk ka vuajtur kurre nga depresioni

or doesn't really know what that means,

ose qe nuk e di cfare eshte vertete,

that might surprise them to hear,

per te kjo mund te jete nje surprize,

because there's this pretty popular misconception

sepse ekziston nje ide e gabuar por popullore

that depression is just being sad

qe depresioni eshte kur ti je i merzitur

when something in your life goes wrong,

meqenese dicka po shkon keq ne jeten tende,

when you break up with your girlfriend,

kur ndahesh nga e dashura,

when you lose a loved one,

kur humbet nje person te dashur,

when you don't get the job you wanted.

kur nuk fiton punen qe doje.

But that's sadness. That's a natural thing.

Por kjo eshte thjesht merzitje. Eshte dicka natyrale.

That's a natural human emotion.

Eshte nje emocion natyral human.

Real depression isn't being sad

Depresioni i vertet nuk eshte te jesh i merzitur

when something in your life goes wrong.

kur dicka ne jeten tende shkon keq.

Real depression is being sad

Depresioni i vertete eshte te jesh i merzitur

when everything in your life is going right.

kur gjithcka ne jeten tende shkon mire.

That's real depression, and that's what I suffer from.

Ky eshte depresion i vertete, dhe nga kjo vuaj une.

And to be totally honest,

Dhe per te qene totalisht i sinqerte,

that's hard for me to stand up here and say.

eshte e veshtire per mua te qendroj ketu e ta them kete.

It's hard for me to talk about,

Eshte e veshtire per mua te diskutoj per kete,

and it seems to be hard for everyone to talk about,

dhe me sa duket te gjithe e kane te veshtire,

so much so that no one's talking about it.

aq te veshtire, saqe pothuajse askush nuk diskuton per te.

And no one's talking about depression, but we need to be,

Askush nuk flet per depresionin, por ne duhet medoemos te flasim,

because right now it's a massive problem.

sepse sot ai eshte nje problem masiv.

It's a massive problem.

Eshte problem masiv.

But we don't see it on social media, right?

Po ne nuk lexojme per te ne mediat sociale, apo jo?

We don't see it on Facebook. We don't see it on Twitter.

Nuk e shohim ne Facebook. Nuk e shohim ne Twitter.

We don't see it on the news, because it's not happy,

Nuk e shohim ne lajme sepse nuk eshte lajm i bukur,

it's not fun, it's not light.

nuk eshte argetues, nuk eshte i lehte.

And so because we don't see it, we don't see the severity of it.

Dhe duke qene se nuk e shohim, nuk dallojme se sa i rende eshte ai.

But the severity of it and the seriousness of it is this:

Por rendesia dhe serioziteti i tij shprehet keshtu:

every 30 seconds,

cdo 30 sekonda,

every 30 seconds, somewhere,

cdo 30 sekonda, diku,

someone in the world takes their own life

dikush i jep fund jetes

because of depression,

per shkak te depresionit,

and it might be two blocks away, it might be two countries away,

dhe mund te jete dy lagje me tej, mund te jete dy shtete me tej,

it might be two continents away, but it's happening,

dy kontinente larg, por kjo ndodh,

and it's happening every single day.

dhe po ndodh cdo dite.

And we have a tendency, as a society,

Dhe ne si shoqeri kemi prirjen,

to look at that and go, "So what?"

t'a degjojme kete dhe te themi, "E po pastaj?"

So what? We look at that, and we go, "That's your problem.

Po pastaj? E degjojme dhe themi, "Ky eshte problemi yt.

That's their problem."

Ky eshte problem i tyre."

We say we're sad and we say we're sorry,

Themi qe merzitemi dhe na vjen keq,

but we also say, "So what?"

por gjithashtu themi dhe, "Po pastaj?"

Well, two years ago it was my problem,

Mire pra, dy vite me pare ky ishte problemi im,

because I sat on the edge of my bed

sepse isha ulur ne anen e krevatit tim

where I'd sat a million times before

aty ku kisha qendruar me miliona here me pare

and I was suicidal.

dhe po mendoja vetevrasjen.

I was suicidal, and if you were to look at my life on the surface,

Po e mendoja, dhe po ta shihnit jeten time ne siperfaqe,

you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal.

nuk do shihnit nje djale qe ishte gati te vetevritej.

You'd see a kid who was the captain of his basketball team,

Do shihnit nje djale i cili ishte kapiten i skuadres se tij te basketbollit,

the drama and theater student of the year,

studenti i vitit ne lenden e drames dhe teatrit,

the English student of the year,

studenti i vitit i Anglishtes,

someone who was consistently on the honor roll

nje djale qe ishte vazhdimisht ne listen e nderit

and consistently at every party.

dhe qe merrte pjese ne cdo feste.

So you would say I wasn't depressed, you would say

Pra do thonit qe nuk isha ne depresion, do thonit

I wasn't suicidal, but you would be wrong.

qe nuk isha gati te vrisja veten, por do kishit gabuar.

You would be wrong. So I sat there that night

Do kishit gabuar. U ula aty ate nate

beside a bottle of pills with a pen and paper in my hand

ne krahe te nje shisheje me ilace, me nje leter dhe laps ne dore

and I thought about taking my own life

dhe mendova ti jap fund jetes sime

and I came this close to doing it.

dhe ju afrova kaq afer.

I came this close to doing it.

Iu afrova aq shume atij veprimi.

And I didn't, so that makes me one of the lucky ones,

Por nuk e bera, dhe kjo tregon se jam prej fatlumeve,

one of the people who gets to step out on the ledge

nje nga ata njerez qe arrin deri tek buza e humneres,

and look down but not jump,

sheh poshte por nuk hidhet,

one of the lucky ones who survives.

nje nga fatlumet qe mbijetojne.

Well, I survived, and that just leaves me with my story,

Une mbijetova, dhe tani me ngelet vec historia ime,

and my story is this:

dhe historia ime eshte kjo:

In four simple words, I suffer from depression.

Ne kater fjale te thjeshta, une vuaj nga depresioni.

I suffer from depression,

Vuaj nga depresioni,

and for a long time, I think,

supozoj prej nje kohe te gjate,

I was living two totally different lives,

jetoja dy jete totalisht te ndryshme,

where one person was always afraid of the other.

ku njeri person kishte frike tjetrin.

I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was,

Kisha frike se njerezit do shikonin tek une ate qe isha vertet,

that I wasn't the perfect, popular kid in high school everyone thought I was,

qe une nuk isha femija perfekt, i famshem ne gjimnaz, qe te gjithe mendonin se une isha,

that beneath my smile, there was struggle,

qe pas buzeqeshjes sime, kishte nje lufte,

and beneath my light, there was dark,

dhe pertej drites time, kishte erresire,

and beneath my big personality just hid even bigger pain.

dhe pertej personalitetit tim te forte fshihej nje dhimbje edhe me e forte.

See, some people might fear girls not liking them back.

Disa njerez kane frike se vajzat nuk do t'i pelqejne.

Some people might fear sharks. Some people might fear death.

Disa kane frike nga peshkaqenet. Disa nga vdekja.

But for me, for a large part of my life, I feared myself.

Por une, per nje kohe te gjate te jetes time, une kisha frike nga vetja.

I feared my truth, I feared my honesty, I feared my vulnerability,

Kisha frike nga e verteta ime, nga sinqeriteti im, nga dobesia ime,

and that fear made me feel

dhe ajo frike me beri te ndjehesha

like I was forced into a corner,

sikur isha i zene ne nje cep,

like I was forced into a corner and there was only one way out,

sikur isha i zene ne nje cep dhe rrugedalja ishte vetem nje,

and so I thought about that way every single day.

dhe keshtu mendoja cdo dite per te.

I thought about it every single day,

E mendoja ate cdo dite,

and if I'm being totally honest, standing here

dhe duke qene se sot, teksa qendroj para jush, po tregohem i totalisht i sinqerte,

I've thought about it again since, because that's the sickness,

ju them se e kam menduar ate perseri, sepse semundja eshte e tille,

that's the struggle, that's depression,

kjo eshte lufta, ky eshte depresioni,

and depression isn't chicken pox.

dhe depresioni nuk eshte si semundja e lise.

You don't beat it once and it's gone forever.

Nuk mund t'a luftosh nje here dhe te presesh qe te zhduket pergjithmone.

It's something you live with. It's something you live in.

Eshte dicka qe jeton me ty. Eshte dicka qe ti e jeton.

It's the roommate you can't kick out. It's the voice you can't ignore.

Eshte shoku i dhomes qe nuk mund ta perzesh. Eshte zeri qe ti nuk mund ta injorosh.

It's the feelings you can't seem to escape,

Eshte ndjesia se nuk mund te arratisesh,

the scariest part is that after a while,

pjesa me e frikshme eshte qe pas nje fare kohe,

you become numb to it. It becomes normal for you,

ti mpihesh. Ai behet normale per ty,

and what you really fear the most

dhe ajo cka te frikeson me shume

isn't the suffering inside of you.

nuk eshte vuajtja brenda teje.

It's the stigma inside of others,

Eshte njolla brenda te tjereve,

it's the shame, it's the embarrassment,

eshte turpi, eshte veshtiresia,

it's the disapproving look on a friend's face,

eshte shikimi mosmiratues ne fytyren e nje miku,

it's the whispers in the hallway that you're weak,

jane thashethemet ne korridor qe thone se ti je i dobet,

it's the comments that you're crazy.

jane komentet se ti je i cmendur.

That's what keeps you from getting help.

Pikerisht kjo te pengon per te kerkuar ndihme.

That's what makes you hold it in and hide it.

Te detyron ta mbash brenda dhe ta fshehesh.

It's the stigma. So you hold it in and you hide it,

Eshte njolla. Pra e mban brenda dhe e fsheh,

and you hold it in and you hide it,

e mban brenda dhe e fsheh,

and even though it's keeping you in bed every day

dhe, edhe pse te mban cdo dite ne krevat

and it's making your life feel empty no matter how much you try and fill it,

dhe e ben jeten tende boshe pavaresisht sa shume perpiqesh ta mbushesh,

you hide it, because the stigma in our society

ti e fsheh, sepse njolla qe i vendos shoqeria jone

around depression is very real.

depresionit eshte shume e vertete.

It's very real, and if you think that it isn't, ask yourself this:

Eshte shume e vertete, dhe nese mendoni qe nuk eshte, bejini vetes kete pyetje:

Would you rather make your next Facebook status

Ne statusin e ardhshem ne Facebook do te shkruanit me mire

say you're having a tough time getting out of bed

qe keni veshtiresi per tu cuar nga krevati

because you hurt your back

sepse ju dhemb shpina

or you're having a tough time getting out of bed every morning

apo qe keni veshtiresi per tu cuar nga krevati cdo mengjes

because you're depressed?

sepse jeni depresive?

That's the stigma, because unfortunately,

Kjo eshte njolla, sepse fatkeqesisht,

we live in a world where if you break your arm,

jetojme ne nje bote ku nese ti thyen krahun,

everyone runs over to sign your cast,

te gjithe vrapojne qe te firmosin ne allcine tende,

but if you tell people you're depressed, everyone runs the other way.

por nese i thua njerezve qe je depresiv, te gjithe vrapojne ne drejtimin tjeter.

That's the stigma.

Kjo eshte njolla.

We are so, so, so accepting of any body part breaking down

Jemi kaq shume te gatshem te pranojme cdo thyerje te trupit tone

other than our brains. And that's ignorance.

por jo te trurit tone. Dhe kjo eshte injorance.

That's pure ignorance, and that ignorance has created

Kjo eshte injorance e paster, dhe kjo injorance ka krijuar

a world that doesn't understand depression,

nje bote e cila nuk e kupton depresionin,

that doesn't understand mental health.

qe nuk e kupton shendetin mendor.

And that's ironic to me, because depression

Dhe kjo per mua eshte ironike, sepse depresioni

is one of the best documented problems we have in the world,

eshte nje nga problemet me te mire-dokumentuara qe ne kemi ne bote,

yet it's one of the least discussed.

por eshte nje prej atyre qe diskutohen me pak.

We just push it aside and put it in a corner

Ne thjesht e leme menjane dhe e vendosim ne nje cep

and pretend it's not there and hope it'll fix itself.

dhe pretendojme qe nuk eshte aty dhe se do rregullohet vete.

Well, it won't. It hasn't, and it's not going to,

Por nuk do rregullohet, nuk ka ndodhur dhe nuk do ndodhe,

because that's wishful thinking,

sepse kjo do te thote te shprehesh nje deshire,

and wishful thinking isn't a game plan, it's procrastination,

por te shprehesh nje deshire nuk do te thote te kesh nje plan loje, do te thote zvarritje,

and we can't procrastinate on something this important.

dhe nuk mund te zvarrisim dicka ka te rendesishme.

The first step in solving any problem

Hapi i pare ne zgjidhjen e nje problemi

is recognizing there is one.

eshte te kuptosh se ai ekziston.

Well, we haven't done that, so we can't really expect

Ne nuk e kemi bere kete, ndaj nuk mund te presim

to find an answer when we're still afraid of the question.

qe te gjejme nje pergjigje kur kemi ende frike nga pyetja.

And I don't know what the solution is.

Dhe une nuk e di zgjidhjen.

I wish I did, but I don't -- but I think,

Do deshiroja ta dija, por nuk e di... por mendoj,

I think it has to start here.

mendoj se duhet te nisi ketu.

It has to start with me, it has to start with you,

Duhet te nisi me mua, duhet te nisi me ju,

it has to start with the people who are suffering,

duhet te nisi me njerezit qe po vuajne,

the ones who are hidden in the shadows.

me ata qe fshihen neper hije.

We need to speak up and shatter the silence.

Duhet te ngreme zerin dhe te thyejme heshtjen.

We need to be the ones who are brave for what we believe in,

Duhet te jemi te guximshem per ate qe besojme,

because if there's one thing that I've come to realize,

sepse gjeja e pare qe une kam kuptuar,

if there's one thing that I see as the biggest problem,

problemi me i rendesishem qe duhet zgjidhur,

it's not in building a world

nuk eshte ndertimi i nje bote

where we eliminate the ignorance of others.

ku ne eliminojme injorancen e te tjereve.

It's in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves,

Eshte ndertimi i nje bote ku ne mesojme te pranojme veten,

where we're okay with who we are,

aty ku jemi ne rregull me ate cka jemi,

because when we get honest,

sepse kur ne tregohemi te sinqerte,

we see that we all struggle and we all suffer.

shohim se te gjithe luftojme dhe te gjithe vuajme.

Whether it's with this, whether it's with something else,

Qofte per kete problem, apo per dicka tjeter,

we all know what it is to hurt.

te gjithe e dime cdo te thote te vuash.

We all know what it is to have pain in our heart,

Te gjithe e dime cdo te thote te kesh dhimbje ne zemer,

and we all know how important it is to heal.

dhe te gjithe e dime sa e rendesishme eshte t'a sherojme ate.

But right now, depression is society's deep cut

Por momentalisht, depresioni eshte plaga e thelle e shoqerise

that we're content to put a Band-Aid over and pretend it's not there.

te ciles ne mjaftohemi duke i vendosur nje fasho dhe pretendojme se nuk eshte aty.

Well, it is there. It is there, and you know what? It's okay.

Por ajo eshte aty. Eshte aty, dhe e dini cfare? Nuk ka problem.

Depression is okay. If you're going through it, know that you're okay.

Depresioni eshte normal. Nese jeni duke e kaluar, duhet te dini se nuk ka problem.

And know that you're sick, you're not weak,

Dhe duhet te dini se jeni te semure, e jo te dobet,

and it's an issue, not an identity,

dhe eshte nje problem, por jo identitet,

because when you get past the fear and the ridicule

sepse kur te kaloni friken dhe talljet

and the judgment and the stigma of others,

dhe gjykimet apo turpin e te tjereve,

you can see depression for what it really is,

do ta shihni depresionin per ate cka eshte vertete,

and that's just a part of life,

dhe ajo eshte thjesht nje pjese e jetes,

just a part of life, and as much as I hate,

thjesht nje pjese e jetes, dhe sado te urrej,

as much as I hate some of the places,

sado te urrej disa nga vendet,

some of the parts of my life depression has dragged me down to,

disa nga momentet e jetes time qe depresioni me ka bere te jetoj,

in a lot of ways I'm grateful for it.

une i jam atij mirenjohes ne shume menyra .

Because yeah, it's put me in the valleys,

Sepse po, me ka vendosur neper lugina,

but only to show me there's peaks,

por vetem per te me treguar majat,

and yeah it's dragged me through the dark

dhe po me ka terhequr neper erresire

but only to remind me there is light.

por vetem per te me kujtuar se ka drite.

My pain, more than anything in 19 years on this planet,

Dhimbja ime, me shume se gjithcka tjeter ne keto 19 vitet e mia ne kete planet,

has given me perspective, and my hurt,

me ka dhene prespektive, dhe vuajtja ime,

my hurt has forced me to have hope,

vuajtja ime me ka detyruar te kem shprese,

have hope and to have faith, faith in myself,

te kem shprese dhe besim ne vetvete.

faith in others, faith that it can get better,

Besim tek te tjeret, besim qe mund te behet me mire,

that we can change this, that we can speak up

se ne mund ta ndryshojme kete, se ne mund ta ngreme zerin

and speak out and fight back against ignorance,

dhe te flasim dhe te luftojme kunder injorances,

fight back against intolerance,

te luftojme kundra mos-tolerances,

and more than anything,

dhe me shume se gjithcka,

learn to love ourselves,

te mesojme te duam veten tone,

learn to accept ourselves for who we are,

te mesojme te pranojme vetveten per ate cka jemi,

the people we are, not the people the world wants us to be.

njerezit qe jemi, jo njerezit qe bota do qe ne te jemi.

Because the world I believe in is one

Sepse bota ku une besoj eshte ajo

where embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark.

ku te perqafosh driten tende nuk do te thote te injorosh erresiren.

The world I believe in is one where we're measured

Bota ku une besoj eshte ajo ku ne vleresohemi

by our ability to overcome adversities, not avoid them.

nga aftesia per ti mundur fatkeqesite pa i shmangur ato.

The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye

Bota ku une besoj eshte ajo ku une mund te shoh dike ne sy

and say, "I'm going through hell,"

dhe ti them, "Po kaloj neper ferr,"

and they can look back at me and go, "Me too," and that's okay,

dhe ata te me shohin e te me thone, "Edhe une" dhe kjo eshte normale,

and it's okay because depression is okay. We're people.

dhe eshte ne rregull sepse depresioni eshte dicka normale. Ne jemi njerez.

We're people, and we struggle and we suffer

Jemi njerez, dhe luftojme e vuajme

and we bleed and we cry, and if you think that true strength

dhe na pikon gjaku dhe qajme, dhe nese mendoni se forca e vertete

means never showing any weakness, then I'm here

do te thote te mos tregosh kurre dobesi, atehere une jam ketu

to tell you you're wrong.

per t'ju thene se e keni gabim.

You're wrong, because it's the opposite.

E keni gabim, sepse e kunderta eshte e vertete.

We're people, and we have problems.

Jemi njerez dhe kemi probleme.

We're not perfect, and that's okay.

Nuk jemi perfekte, dhe kjo eshte normale.

So we need to stop the ignorance,

Pra na duhet ti japim fund injorances,

stop the intolerance, stop the stigma,

te ndalojme injorancen, te fshijme njollat,

and stop the silence, and we need to take away the taboos,

dhe ti japim fund heshtjes, dhe na duhet te zhbejme tabute,

take a look at the truth, and start talking,

ti hedhim nje sy te vertetes, dhe te nisim te flasim,

because the only way we're going to beat a problem

sepse e vetmja menyre per ta zgjidhur nje problem

that people are battling alone

qe njerezit po e luftojne vetem

is by standing strong together,

eshte duke qene te forte se bashku,

by standing strong together.

duke qene te forte se bashku.

And I believe that we can.

Dhe une mendoj se ne mundemi.

I believe that we can. Thank you guys so much.

Mendoj se mundemi. Ju falenderoj shume.

This is a dream come true. Thank you. (Applause)

Kjo eshte ne enderr qe u be realitet. Faleminderit. (Duartrokitje)

Thank you. (Applause)

Faleminderit. (Duartrokitje)