Becky Blanton: The year I was homeless

Translator: Amantia Gjikondi Reviewer: Liridon Shala

I'm a writer and a journalist,

Une jam nje shkrimtare dhe gazetare,

and I'm also an insanely curious person,

por jam gjithashtu nje person kurioz i cmendur,

so in 22 years as a journalist,

keshtu qe ne 22 vitet e mia si gazetare,

I've learned how to do a lot of new things.

kam mesuar sesi te bej nje sere gjerash.

And three years ago, one of the things I learned how to do

Dhe para tre viteve, nje nga gjerat qe mesova sesi ta bej

was to become invisible.

eshte te kthehesha e padukshme.

I became one of the working homeless.

Une u ktheva ne nje nga punetoret e pastrehe.

I quit my job as a newspaper editor

Une lashe punen time si redaktore gazete

after my father died in February of that same year,

pas vdekjes se tim ati ne shkurtin e te njejtit vit,

and decided to travel.

dhe vendosa te udhetoj.

His death hit me pretty hard.

Vdekja e tij me preku shume.

And there were a lot of things that I wanted to feel and deal with while I was doing that.

Dhe kishte shume gjera qe une doja te ndjeja dhe te merresha nderkohe qe une po e beja kete.

I've camped my whole life. And I decided

Une kam ngritur kampe gjate gjithe jetes time. Ndaj une vendosa

that living in a van for a year to do this

qe te jetoja ne nje furgon per nje vit

would be like one long camping trip.

do te ishte si nje udhetim i gjate kampimi.

So I packed my cat, my Rottweiler

Keshtu qe paketova macen time, Rottweilerin tim

and my camping gear into a 1975 Chevy van,

dhe veshjen time te kampingut ne nje furgon Chevy te 1975,

and drove off into the sunset,

dhe e drejtova drejt muzgut,

having fully failed to realize three critical things.

duke deshtuar plotesisht ne realizimin e tri gjerave kritike.

One: that society equates

Se pari: barazine shoqerore e

living in a permanent structure, even a shack,

te jetuarit ne nje strukture te perhershme, madje edhe ne nje kasolle,

with having value as a person.

dhe me te paturit vlera si person.

Two: I failed to realize how quickly

Se dyti: Une deshtova ne realizimin sesa shpejte

the negative perceptions of other people

perceptimi negativ i personave te tjere

can impact our reality, if we let it.

mund te kete ndikim ne realitetin tone, nese ne e lejojme kete.

Three: I failed to realize

Se treti: Une deshtova ne realizimin

that homelessness is an attitude,

se te qenit i pastrehe eshte nje qendrim,

not a lifestyle.

dhe jo nje menyre jetese.

At first, living in the van was great.

Ne fillim, te jetuarit ne furgon ishte shume mire.

I showered in campgrounds. I ate out regularly.

Une lahesha ne vendim e kampingut. Une haja rregullisht.

And I had time to relax and to grieve.

Dhe une kisha kohe per te pushuar dhe per tu brengosur.

But then the anger and the depression about my father's death set in.

Por kur zemerimi dhe depresioni per vdekjen e babait tim u largua.

My freelance job ended. And I had to get a full-time job

Puna ime e pavarur mori fund. Dhe une duhej te filloja nje pune me kohe te plote

to pay the bills.

per te paguar faturat.

What had been a really mild spring

Ajo cfare kishte qene nje pranvere e bute

turned into a miserably hot summer.

u shnderrua ne nje vere te nxehte te mjere.

And it became impossible to park anywhere --

Dhe ishte e pamundur qe te parkoje kudo --

(Laughs)

(Qeshje)

-- without being very obvious

-- pa qene shume e dukshme

that I had a cat and a dog with me, and it was really hot.

dhe une kisha nje qen dhe nje mace me vete, dhe ishte me te vertete shume nxehte.

The cat came and went through an open window in the van.

Macja erdhi dhe shkoi neper nje dritare te hapur te furgonit.

The doggy went into doggy day care.

Qeni shkoi ne kujdesin e qenve.

And I sweated.

Dhe une djersita.

Whenever I could, I used

Kudo qe te mundesha, une perdorja

employee showers in office buildings and truck stops.

dushin e punonjesve ne ndertesat e zyrave dhe ne ndalesat e kamioneve.

Or I washed up in public rest rooms.

Ose lahesha ne banjot publike.

Nighttime temperatures in the van rarely dropped below 80 degrees Fahrenheit,

Temperaturat ne furgon gjate nates rralle uleshin nen 80 grade Fahrenheit,

making it difficult or impossible to sleep.

duke e bere te veshtire ose te pamundur per te fjetur.

Food rotted in the heat.

Ushqimi prishej ne nxehtesi

Ice in my ice chest melted within hours,

akulli ne kraharorin tim te akullt shkrihej brenda oreve,

and it was pretty miserable.

dhe kjo ishte shume e mjerueshme.

I couldn't afford to find an apartment,

Une smund ta perballoje per te gjetur nje apartament,

or couldn't afford an apartment that would allow me

ose smund te perballoja nje apartament qe mund te me lejonte mua

to have the Rottweiler and the cat.

qe te kisha Rottweilerin dhe macen.

And I refused to give them up,

Dhe une refuzova qe ti lija ato,

so I stayed in the van.

keshtu qe qendrova ne furgon.

And when the heat made me too sick

Dhe kur nxehtesia me semuri mua shume

to walk the 50 feet to the public restroom

saqe eca 50 metra jashte furgonit tim per te shkuar ne banjot publike

outside my van at night,

gjate nates.

I used a bucket and a trash bag as a toilet.

Une perdorja nje kove dhe nje qese plehrash si banjo.

When winter weather set in, the temperatures dropped

Kur dimri erdhi, temperaturat u ulen

below freezing. And they stayed there.

nen zero. Dhe ato qendruan aty.

And I faced a whole new set of challenges.

Dhe une u perballa me nje sere sfidash te reja.

I parked a different place every night

Une parkoja ne vende te ndryshme cdo nate

so I would avoid being noticed and hassled by the police.

ne menyre qe te shmangesha pa u vene re dhe pa bere debat me policet.

I didn't always succeed.

Por jo gjithnje kish sukses.

But I felt out of control of my life.

Por une ndihesha sikur isha jashte kontrollit te jetes time.

And I don't know when or how it happened,

Dhe une nuk e di se kur ose sesi ndodhi,

but the speed at which I went

por shpejtesia me te cilen kalova

from being a talented writer and journalist

nga nje shkrimtare dhe gazetare e talentuar

to being a homeless woman, living in a van,

ne nje grua te pastrehe, duke jetuar ne furgon,

took my breath away.

me mori frymen.

I hadn't changed. My I.Q. hadn't dropped.

Une nuk kisha ndryshuar. Koeficinti i inteligjencen time nuk kishte rene.

My talent, my integrity, my values,

Talenti im, integriteti im, vlerat e mia,

everything about me remained the same.

cdo gje rreth meje mbeti e njejte.

But I had changed somehow.

Por une nje nje fare menyre kam ndryshuar.

I spiraled deeper and deeper into a depression.

Une kalova thelle e me thelle ne depresion.

And eventually someone referred me to a homeless health clinic.

Dhe dikush me drejtoi mua ne nje klinike shendeti per te pastrehet.

And I went. I hadn't bathed in three days.

Dhe une shkova. Une kisha tre dite qe nuk isha lare.

I was as smelly and as depressed as anyone in line.

Une mbaja ere dhe isha me e depresionuar se asnje tjeter ne rradhe.

I just wasn't drunk or high.

Une vetem nuk isha e dehur ose e pire.

And when several of the homeless men realized that,

Dhe kur qindra burra te pastrehe arriten ta kuptonin,

including a former university professor,

duke perfshire edhe nje ish proferor universiteti

they said, "You aren't homeless. Why are you really here?"

thane, "Ti nuk je nje e pastrehe. Pse ndodhesh ti ketu?"

Other homeless people didn't see me as homeless,

Te pastrehet e tjere nuk me shihnin mua si nje te pastrehe,

but I did.

por une po.

Then the professor listened to my story and he said,

Me pas profesori degjoi historine time dhe tha,

"You have a job. You have hope.

"Ti ke nje pune. Ti ke shprese.

The real homeless don't have hope."

Te pastrehet e vertete nuk kane shprese."

A reaction to the medication the clinic gave me for my depression

Reagimi ndaj ilaceve qe klinika me dha mua per depresionin

left me suicidal. And I remember thinking,

me conte mua ne vetvrasje. Dhe une mbaj mend qe mendoja,

"If I killed myself, no one would notice."

"Nese une vras veten, asnje nuk do ta ve re."

A friend told me, shortly after that,

Nje mikja ime, pak pas kesaj me tha qe,

that she had heard that Tim Russert,

kish degjuar qe Tim Russert,

a nationally renowned journalist,

nje gazetar i njohur ne shkalle kombetare,

had been talking about me on national T.V.

kish qene duke folur rreth meje ne TV kombetare.

An essay I'd written about my father,

Nje ese qe une kisha shkruar per babain tim,

the year before he died, was in Tim's new book.

vitin para se ai te vdiste, ndodhej ne librin e ri te Tim.

And he was doing the talk show circuit. And he was talking about my writing.

Dhe ai ishte duke paraqitur librin e tij. Dhe ai ishte duke folur rreth shkrimit tim.

And when I realized that Tim Russert, former moderator of "Meet the Press,"

Dhe kur kuptova qe Tim Russert, ish moderatori i "Meet the Press,"

was talking about my writing,

ishte duke folur rreth shkrimit tim,

while I was living in a van in a Wal-Mart parking lot,

kur une isha duke jetuar ne furgon ne parkingun e Wal - Mart,

I started laughing.

une fillova te qesh.

You should too.

Ju duhet gjithashtu te qeshni.

(Laughter)

(Qeshje)

I started laughing

Une fillova te qesh

because it got to the point where,

sepse arrita ne piken per te kuptuar,

was I a writer, or was I a homeless woman?

nese une isha nje shkrimtare apo isha nje grua e pastrehe?

So I went in the bookstore. And I found Tim's book.

Keshtu qe une shkova ne librari. Dhe gjeta librin e Timit.

And I stood there. And I reread my essay.

Dhe qendrova atje. Dhe rilexova esene time.

And I cried.

Dhe fillova te qaj.

Because I was a writer.

Sepse une isha nje shkrimtare.

I was a writer.

Une isha nje shkrimtare.

Shortly after that I moved back to Tennessee.

Pak pas kesaj une u riktheva ne Tennessee.

I alternated between living in a van and couch surfing with friends.

Une u alternova midis te jetuarit ne furgon dhe qendrimit ne divan me miqte.

And I started writing again.

Dhe fillova te rishkruaj.

By the summer of the following year I was a working journalist.

Deri ne veren e vitit te ardhshem une isha nje gazetare.

I was winning awards. I was living in my own apartment.

Une isha duke fituar cmime. Une isha duke jetuar ne apartamentin tim.

I was no longer homeless.

Une nuk isha me nje e pastrehe.

And I was no longer invisible.

Dhe nuk isha me nje e padukshme.

Thousands of people work full and part-time jobs,

Mijera njerez punojne me kohe te plote ose te pjesshme,

and live in their cars.

dhe jetojne ne makinat e tyre.

But society continues to stigmatize and criminalize

Por shoqeria vazhdon ta stigmatizoje dhe kriminalizoje

living in your vehicle or on the streets.

te jetuarin ne makinen tende ose ne rruge.

So the homeless, the working homeless, primarily remain invisible.

Keshtu qe te pastrehet, punonjesit e pastrehe, mbeten te padukshem.

But if you ever meet one,

Por nese ndonjehere do te takoni ndonjerin prej tyre,

engage them, encourage them, and offer them hope.

aktivizojini ato, kurajohini ato dhe jepini atyre shprese.

The human spirit can overcome anything if it has hope.

Shpirti i njeriut mund te kaloje cdo gje nese ju jep atyre shprese.

And I'm not here to be the poster girl for the homeless.

Dhe une nuk jam ketu per te qene vajza model e te pastreheve.

I'm not here to encourage you to give money to the next panhandler you meet.

Nuk jam ketu per t'ju kurajuar per te dhene para te pastrehit te pare qe takoni.

But I am here to tell you that, based on my experience,

Por jam ketu per t'ju thene qe, bazuar ne eksperiencen time

people are not where they live,

njerezit nuk jane ato ku ato jetojne,

where they sleep,

ku ato flene,

or what their life situation is at any given time.

ose ku gjendja e tyre jetesore eshte ne cfaredo kohe.

Three years ago I was living in a van

Tre vjet me pare une isha duke jetuar ne nje furgon

in a Wal-Mart parking lot,

ne parkingn e Wal-Mart,

and today I'm speaking at TED.

dhe sot une jam duke folur tek TED.

Hope always, always finds a way. Thank you.

Shpresoni gjithmone, gjithmone gjen nje menyre. Ju faleminderit.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)