Becky Blanton: The year I was homeless

翻译人员: Jun Li 校对人员: Chaoran Yu

I'm a writer and a journalist,

我是一个作家，一个新闻记者，

and I'm also an insanely curious person,

我也是一位具有强烈求知欲的人。

so in 22 years as a journalist,

所以在做新闻记者的22年里，

I've learned how to do a lot of new things.

我知道了很多新奇的事物。

And three years ago, one of the things I learned how to do

而三年前，我学会做的一件事就是

was to become invisible.

变成隐形人。

I became one of the working homeless.

我成了一个无家可归的工作者。

I quit my job as a newspaper editor

我辞掉了报纸编辑的工作

after my father died in February of that same year,

在我父亲那年二月去世之后

and decided to travel.

我决定去旅行

His death hit me pretty hard.

他的去世对我打击非常大。

And there were a lot of things that I wanted to feel and deal with while I was doing that.

当时这么做，是因为有很多我想去感知和处理的事。

I've camped my whole life. And I decided

旅游时我天天都在露营。并且决定

that living in a van for a year to do this

在休旅车里住一年

would be like one long camping trip.

就当作是一段长期野营旅行。

So I packed my cat, my Rottweiler

所以，我就带上我的猫，我的罗特威尔犬

and my camping gear into a 1975 Chevy van,

和露营的装备装载到1975产的雪佛莱旅游车上，

and drove off into the sunset,

开车去看日落

having fully failed to realize three critical things.

但当时完全没想过三件严重的事

One: that society equates

一：社会将住房

living in a permanent structure, even a shack,

即使是很小的房间，

with having value as a person.

和人的价值等同起来。

Two: I failed to realize how quickly

二：我没有意识到

the negative perceptions of other people

其他人的负面言语

can impact our reality, if we let it.

对我们本身的影响是多么严重，假如我们放任不管。

Three: I failed to realize

三：我没有意识到

that homelessness is an attitude,

无家可归是一种生活态度

not a lifestyle.

而不是一种生活方式。

At first, living in the van was great.

一开始，住在车里是很不错的。

I showered in campgrounds. I ate out regularly.

我在露天洗澡，正常的去外面吃东西。

And I had time to relax and to grieve.

而且有时间去抒发情感。

But then the anger and the depression about my father's death set in.

但是后来，因我父亲去世而带来的悲愤和痛沮开始加剧。

My freelance job ended. And I had to get a full-time job

我自由作家的工作结束了。我就需要去找一件全职工作

to pay the bills.

来支付我的账单。

What had been a really mild spring

从一个非常温和的春天

turned into a miserably hot summer.

变到一个极其炎热的夏天会怎样呢。

And it became impossible to park anywhere --

不管车停在哪都是难以忍受的

(Laughs)

（笑声）

-- without being very obvious

不用说也很明显

that I had a cat and a dog with me, and it was really hot.

我带着一只猫和一只狗，而且非常的热。

The cat came and went through an open window in the van.

猫从车窗来回的跑。

The doggy went into doggy day care.

狗跑到了狗狗护理中心。

And I sweated.

我则大汗淋漓。

Whenever I could, I used

不管什么时候，只要可以，我就会去用

employee showers in office buildings and truck stops.

在办公大楼和卡车车站里员工用的淋浴。

Or I washed up in public rest rooms.

或者在公共卫生间里洗洗。

Nighttime temperatures in the van rarely dropped below 80 degrees Fahrenheit,

在夜里车里的温度很少会降到华氏80度以下，

making it difficult or impossible to sleep.

这使我几乎无法入睡。

Food rotted in the heat.

食物在高温下腐坏。

Ice in my ice chest melted within hours,

冷藏柜里的冰几个小时就化完了，

and it was pretty miserable.

非常苦闷的时期。

I couldn't afford to find an apartment,

我没钱找公寓，

or couldn't afford an apartment that would allow me

或者找不到让我

to have the Rottweiler and the cat.

可以养狗和猫的地方。

And I refused to give them up,

我不想把它们抛弃。

so I stayed in the van.

所以我继续待在旅行车里。

And when the heat made me too sick

但炎热的天气使我饱受折磨

to walk the 50 feet to the public restroom

以至于在夜里走50英尺

outside my van at night,

到车外面的公共卫生间都懒的动。

I used a bucket and a trash bag as a toilet.

我用桶和垃圾袋当厕所。

When winter weather set in, the temperatures dropped

当冬天来临的时候，温度骤降

below freezing. And they stayed there.

到零度以下。然后就一直这么冷。

And I faced a whole new set of challenges.

我又遇到了一堆新问题，

I parked a different place every night

每晚我的车都停在不同的地方。

so I would avoid being noticed and hassled by the police.

这样才可以不让警察发现以至于和警察争吵。

I didn't always succeed.

当然，并不是每次都成功。

But I felt out of control of my life.

但是，我觉得我已无力掌控自己的生活了。

And I don't know when or how it happened,

我也不知道什么时候或者是如何发生的，

but the speed at which I went

我这么快就从一个

from being a talented writer and journalist

有才的写手，新闻从业者

to being a homeless woman, living in a van,

变成一个无家可归，住在车里的女人

took my breath away.

这简直是快的难以置信。

I hadn't changed. My I.Q. hadn't dropped.

我并没有变。我的智商没有降低。

My talent, my integrity, my values,

我的才能，我的正直，我的价值，

everything about me remained the same.

所有关于我的这些东西都还是一样。

But I had changed somehow.

但是从某种程度上，我还是改变了，

I spiraled deeper and deeper into a depression.

我越来越沮丧，像一个漩涡一样不断地往下沉。

And eventually someone referred me to a homeless health clinic.

后来有人介绍我去一个专为无家可归之人开的健康诊所。

And I went. I hadn't bathed in three days.

我去了。我有三天都没有洗澡了，

I was as smelly and as depressed as anyone in line.

我和其他那些排队的人一样沮丧，身上的味道也很难闻。

I just wasn't drunk or high.

我只是没有喝醉或者兴奋。

And when several of the homeless men realized that,

当一些无家可归的人意识到，

including a former university professor,

包括一个以前在大学任教的教授，

they said, "You aren't homeless. Why are you really here?"

他们说：“你不是无家可归，你真正在这里的原因是什么？”

Other homeless people didn't see me as homeless,

其他的无家可归的人不把我当作是无家可归的人看待。

but I did.

但是我自己是这么认为的。

Then the professor listened to my story and he said,

后来，教授听了我的故事后他说，

"You have a job. You have hope.

“你有工作，有希望。

The real homeless don't have hope."

真正无家可归的人并没有希望可言。”

A reaction to the medication the clinic gave me for my depression

诊所针对我沮丧开的药物的副作用

left me suicidal. And I remember thinking,

让我有点自杀的倾向。我还记得当时想，

"If I killed myself, no one would notice."

“如果我自杀了，可能没人会发现的”

A friend told me, shortly after that,

在那不久后，我的一个朋友就告诉我，

that she had heard that Tim Russert,

她听说提姆 路塞特，

a nationally renowned journalist,

一个全国知名的记者

had been talking about me on national T.V.

在全国播放的电视节目上谈论到了我。

An essay I'd written about my father,

一篇我写的关于我父亲的短文，

the year before he died, was in Tim's new book.

在他去世前一年写的，被收录到了提姆的新书里。

And he was doing the talk show circuit. And he was talking about my writing.

他那时在做巡回演讲，提到我的写作。

And when I realized that Tim Russert, former moderator of "Meet the Press,"

当我发现提姆 路塞特，前Meet the Press节目的调解员，

was talking about my writing,

在谈论我的写作。

while I was living in a van in a Wal-Mart parking lot,

而我却生活在停在沃尔玛停车场里的旅行车里面，

I started laughing.

我开始笑了，

You should too.

呵，你们也该笑笑。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I started laughing

我开始笑，

because it got to the point where,

因为这正是问题根结，

was I a writer, or was I a homeless woman?

我是一位作家呢，还是一位无家可归的女人？

So I went in the bookstore. And I found Tim's book.

于是我走进一家书店。找到提姆的书。

And I stood there. And I reread my essay.

我站在那，又重新读了一遍我写的短文。

And I cried.

我哭了。

Because I was a writer.

因为我是一位作家，

I was a writer.

是一位作家。

Shortly after that I moved back to Tennessee.

在那之后，我很快就搬回了田纳西。

I alternated between living in a van and couch surfing with friends.

有时住在车里，有时会去朋友家睡沙发。

And I started writing again.

我又重新开始写作了。

By the summer of the following year I was a working journalist.

在接踵而来的夏天里，我又成为了一名新闻记者。

I was winning awards. I was living in my own apartment.

我得了奖，住在我自己的公寓里。

I was no longer homeless.

我不再无家可归。

And I was no longer invisible.

我也不再被无视。

Thousands of people work full and part-time jobs,

无数的人在从事着全职和兼职的工作，

and live in their cars.

而且住在他们的车里。

But society continues to stigmatize and criminalize

但是社会还继续污蔑他们

living in your vehicle or on the streets.

并视住在交通工具里或者睡在街上为犯罪。

So the homeless, the working homeless, primarily remain invisible.

所以那些无家可归，有工作但是无家可归的人，大部分还是隐藏着的。

But if you ever meet one,

但是如果你见到了，

engage them, encourage them, and offer them hope.

雇用他们，鼓励他们，并给予他们希望。

The human spirit can overcome anything if it has hope.

只要有希望，人类的精神可以克服一切困难。

And I'm not here to be the poster girl for the homeless.

我并不是来这里为无家可归的人做宣传的。

I'm not here to encourage you to give money to the next panhandler you meet.

我不是来这里鼓励你们去施舍下一个你见到的乞丐。

But I am here to tell you that, based on my experience,

而我在这里是来告诉你们，根据我过去的经历，

people are not where they live,

人不是由他们所住的地方，

where they sleep,

睡得地方，

or what their life situation is at any given time.

或者他们在任何一个时间的生活状态所决定的。

Three years ago I was living in a van

三年前，我住在一个停在

in a Wal-Mart parking lot,

沃尔玛的停车场的汽车里。

and today I'm speaking at TED.

而今天我却在TED演讲。

Hope always, always finds a way. Thank you.

希望永远，永远，会指引前路。谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）