My Inner Life with Asperger's | Alix Generous | TED Talks

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Mile Živković

Today, I want to talk to you about dreams.

Danas vam želim govoriti o snovima.

I have been a lucid dreamer my whole life,

Ja sam čitav život bila lucidni sanjar

and it's cooler than in the movies.

i mnogo je bolje nego na filmovima.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Beyond flying, breathing fire,

Pored letenja, bljuvanja vatre

and making hot men spontaneously appear ...

i spontanog pojavljivanja zgodnih muškaraca...

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I can do things like read and write music.

mogu da radim stvari, poput čitanja i pisanja muzike.

Fun fact is that I wrote my personal statement to college

Zanimljiva činjenica je da sam napisala motivaciono pismo za fakultet

in a dream.

u snu.

And I did accepted. So, yeah.

I primljena sam. Bravo ja.

I am a very visual thinker.

Ja sam veoma vizuelan mislilac.

I think in pictures, not words.

Razmišljam u slikama, ne rečima.

To me, words are more like instincts and language.

Za mene su reči više poput instinkta i jezika.

There are many people like me;

Ima mnogo ljudi sličnih meni;

Nikola Tesla, for example,

Nikola Tesla, na primer,

who could visualize, design, test, and troubleshoot everything --

on je mogao da zamisli, osmisli, testira i rešava sve probleme -

all of his inventions -- in his mind, accurately.

sve svoje izume - u mislima, precizno.

Language is kind of exclusive to our species, anyway.

Jezik je ionako isključivo vezan za našu vrstu.

I am a bit more primitive,

Ja sam malčice primitivnija,

like a beta version of Google Translate.

poput beta verzije Guglovog prevodioca.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

My brain has the ability to hyper-focus on things that interest me.

Moj mozak ima sposobnost da se jako usredsredi na ono što me interesuje.

For example, once I had an affair with calculus

Na primer, jednom sam imala aferu sa proračunom

that lasted longer than some celebrity marriages.

koja je trajala duže nego neki brakovi slavnih.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

There are some other unusual things about me.

Postoje još neke neobične stvari u vezi sa mnom.

You may have noticed that I don't have much inflection

Možda ste primetili da u mom glasu nema mnogo modulacija.

in my voice.

That's why people often confuse me with a GPS.

Zato me ljudi često mešaju sa GPS-om.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

This can make basic communication a challenge, unless you need directions.

Zbog toga obični razgovor može da bude izazov, osim ako vam ne trebaju uputstva.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

A few years ago, when I started doing presentations,

Pre nekoliko godina, kada sam počela da držim prezentacije,

I went to get head shots done for the first time.

prvi put u životu su mi radili foto portrete.

The photographer told me to look flirty.

Fotografkinja mi je tražila da izgledam koketno.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I had no idea what she was talking about.

A ja nisam imala pojma o čemu je govrila.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

She said, "Do that thing, you know, with your eyes,

Rekla je: "Napravi onaj, znaš, onaj pogled,

when you're flirting with guys."

kada koketiraš s momcima."

"What thing?" I asked.

"Koji pogled", pitala sam.

"You know, squint."

"Znaš, pogled iskosa."

And so I tried, really.

Pa sam pokušala, stvarno.

It looked something like this.

Izgledalo je nekako ovako.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I looked like I was searching for Waldo.

Izgledalo je kao da tragam za Valdom.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

There's a reason for this,

Postoji razlog za to,

as there is a reason that Waldo is hiding.

kao što postoji i razlog zašto se Valdo skriva.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I have Asperger's,

Imam Aspergera,

a high-functioning form of autism

visoko funkcionalan oblik autizma,

that impairs the basic social skills one is expected to display.

koji podriva osnovne društvene veštine koje bi pojedinac trebalo da ispolji.

It's made life difficult in many ways,

To mi je otežalo život na razne načine

and growing up, I struggled to fit in socially.

i prilikom odrastanja sam se mučila sa uklapanjem.

My friends would tell jokes, but I didn't understand them.

Moji prijatelji bi pričali viceve, ali ja ih nisam razumela.

My personal heroes were George Carlin and Stephen Colbert --

Moji lični heroji su bili Džordž Karlin i Stiven Kolber -

and they taught me humor.

i od njih sam učila o humoru.

My personality switched from being shy and awkward

Moja ličnost se promenila, od stidljivka i čudaka

to being defiant and cursing out a storm.

do prznice i prizivača oluje.

Needless to say, I did not have many friends.

Suvišno je reći da nisam imala mnogo prijatelja.

I was also hypersensitive to texture.

Takođe sam bila hiperosetljiva na teksture.

The feel of water on my skin was like pins and needles,

Osećaj vode na mojoj koži je bio poput čioda i igala,

and so for years, I refused to shower.

pa sam godinama odbijala da se tuširam.

I can assure you that my hygiene routine is up to standards now, though.

Uveravam vas, pak, da je moja higijenska rutina sada u najboljem redu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I had to do a lot to get here, and my parents --

Morala sam, zajedno sa roditeljima, mnogo da se trudim da bih stigla dovde -

things kind of got out of control when I was sexually assaulted by a peer,

sve se nekako otrglo kontroli kada me je seksualno napastvovao drugar,

and on top of everything, it made a difficult situation worse.

i povrh svega, moje teško stanje je postalo još gore.

And I had to travel 2,000 miles across the country to get treatment,

I morala sam da pređem preko 3000 km duž države kako bih se izlečila,

but within days of them prescribing a new medication,

no nekoliko dana uzimanja novih propisanih lekova

my life turned into an episode of the Walking Dead.

je pretvorilo moj život u epizodu "Okružen mrtvima".

I became paranoid, and began to hallucinate

Postala sam paranoična i počela sam da haluciniram

that rotting corpses were coming towards me.

o istrulelim leševima kako mi se približavaju.

My family finally rescued me,

Porodica me je konačno spasila,

but by that time, I had lost 19 pounds in those three weeks,

ali do tad sam izgubila 8,5 kilograma za tri nedelje,

as well as developing severe anemia,

uz to sam dobila ozbiljnu anemiju

and was on the verge of suicide.

i bila sam na ivici samoubistva.

I transferred to a new treatment center that understood my aversions,

Prebacili su me u novi zdravstveni centar gde su razumeli moje averzije,

my trauma, and my social anxiety,

moju traumu i moj društveni nespokoj

and they knew how to treat it, and I got the help I finally needed.

i znali su kako da to leče i konačno sam dobila željenu pomoć.

And after 18 months of hard work,

I nakon 18 meseci vrednog rada,

I went on to do incredible things.

postigla sam neverovatne stvari.

One of the things with Asperger's is that oftentimes,

Jedna od stvari kod Aspergera je da ovi ljudi

these people have a very complex inner life,

često imaju izuzetno složene unutrašnje živote

and I know for myself, I have a very colorful personality,

i znam po sebi jer imam veoma šarenoliku ličnost,

rich ideas, and just a lot going on in my mind.

bogatstvo ideja, prosto mnogo toga se dešava u mom umu.

But there's a gap between where that stands,

Ali postoji jaz između svega toga

and how I communicate it with the rest of the world.

i kako ja to saopštavam ostatku sveta.

And this can make basic communication a challenge.

A zbog ovoga običan razgovor može da bude izazov.

Not many places would hire me, due to my lack of social skills,

Mnogi me ne bi zaposlili zbog toga što imam loše društvene veštine,

which is why I applied to Waffle House.

zato sam aplicirala u Kuću vafli.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Waffle House is an exceptional 24-hour diner --

Kuća vafli je izuzetan restoran koji non-stop radi -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

thank you --

hvala vam -

where you can order your hash browns

gde možete da poručite heš brauns

the many ways that someone would dispose of a human corpse ...

na onoliko načina na koliko bi se neko rešio ljudskog leša...

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Sliced, diced, peppered, chunked, topped, capped, and covered.

Narezan, iseckan, pobiberen, iskomadan, filovan, pohovan i preliven.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

As social norms would have it,

Kako društvene norme nalažu,

you should only go to Waffle House at an ungodly hour in the night.

jedino idete u Kuću vafli u kasne sate.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So one time, at 2 am, I was chatting with a waitress, and I asked her,

Pa sam jednom, u dva sata ujutru, ćaskala sa konobaricom i pitala sam je:

"What's the most ridiculous thing that's happened to you on the job?"

"Šta je najbizarnije što ti se desilo na poslu?"

And she told me that one time, a man walked in completely naked.

I rekla mi je da je jednom ušao čovek potpuno go.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I said, "Great! Sign me up for the graveyard shift!"

Rekla sam: "Sjajno! Upišite me u treću smenu!"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Needless to say, Waffle House did not hire me.

Suvišno je reći da me nisu primili u Kuću vafli.

So in terms of having Asperger's, it can be viewed as a disadvantage,

Pa život sa Aspergerom može da bude shvaćen kao hendikep

and sometimes it is a real pain in the butt,

i ponekad i jeste istinska nelagodnost,

but it's also the opposite.

ali je takođe i sve nasuprot tome.

It's a gift, and it allows me to think innovatively.

To je dar i pomaže mi da razmišljam inovativno.

At 19, I won a research competition for my research on coral reefs,

Sa 19 sam pobedila na takmičenju za svoje istraživanje o koralnim grebenima

and I ended up speaking

i zatekla sam se kao govornik

at the UN Convention of Biological Diversity,

na UN-ovoj konvenciji o biodiverzitetu,

presenting this research.

predstaviljajući ovo istraživanje.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

And at 22, I'm getting ready to graduate college,

A u 22. godini, spremam se da diplomiram na fakultetu

and I am a co-founder of a biotech company called AutismSees.

i suosnivač sam biotehničke firme pod nazivom AutismSees.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

But consider what I had to do to get here:

Ali razmotrite kroz šta sam morala da prođem da bih bila ovde:

25 therapists, 11 misdiagnoses, and years of pain and trauma.

25 terapeuta, 11 pogrešnih dijagnoza i godine bola i trauma.

I spent a lot of time thinking if there's a better way,

Provela sam mnogo vremena razmišljajući da li postoji bolji način

and I think there is: autism-assistive technology.

i mislim da postoji: tehnologija u službi autizma.

This technology could play an integral role

Ova tehnologija bi mogla da igra ključnu ulogu

in helping people with autistic spectrum disorder,

u pomaganju ljudima sa spektrom autističnih poremećaja

or ASD.

iliti SAP.

The app Podium, released by my company, AutismSees,

Aplikacija Podium, koju je objavila moja firma, AutismSees,

has the ability to independently assess and help develop communication skills.

može nezavisno da procenjuje i pomaže u razvoju veština komunikacije.

In addition to this, it tracks eye contact through camera

Uz sve to, kamerom prati kontakt očima

and simulates a public-speaking and job-interview experience.

i simulira obraćanje u javnosti i iskustvo razgovora za posao.

And so maybe one day, Waffle House will hire me,

Pa će me možda, jednog dana, Kuća vafli zaposliti,

after practicing on it some more.

nakon što se još malo izvežbam na aplikaciji.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And one of the great things is that I've used Podium

A sjajna stvar je što sam koristila Podium

to help me prepare for today, and it's been a great help.

kako bih se pripremila za današnji govor i bio je odlična pomoć.

But it's more than that.

Ali on je više od toga.

There's more that can be done.

Ima tu još mnogo da se učini.

For people with ASD --

Za ljude sa SAP-om -

it has been speculated that many innovative scientists,

pretpostavlja se da ga imaju mnogi inovativni naučnici,

researchers, artists, and engineers have it;

istraživači, umetnici i inženjeri;

like, for example, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, Isaac Newton, and Bill Gates

poput, na primer: Emili Dikinson, Džejn Ostin, Isaka Njutna i Bil Gejtsa.

are some examples.

To su samo neki primeri.

But the problem that's encountered

Ali problem na koji nailazimo

is that these brilliant ideas often can't be shared

je da ove briljantne ideje često ne mogu da se prenesu,

if there are communication roadblocks.

ako postoje prepreke u komunikaciji.

And so, many people with autism are being overlooked every day,

Pa tako mnoge ljude sa autizmom svakodnevno zapostavljamo

and they're being taken advantage of.

i iskorišćavamo.

So my dream for people with autism is to change that,

Pa je moj san za ljude s autizmom da se to promeni,

to remove the roadblocks that prevent them from succeeding.

da se uklone barijere koje ih sprečavaju da uspeju.

One of the reasons I love lucid dreaming

Jedan od razloga zašto volim lucidne snove

is because it allows me to be free,

je to što mi omogućavaju da budem slobodna,

without judgment of social and physical consequences.

bez društvene osude i fizičkih posledica.

When I'm flying over scenes that I create in my mind,

Kada prelećem predele koje stvaram u svom umu,

I am at peace.

ja sam spokojna.

I am free from judgment,

Oslobođena osuda

and so I can do whatever I want, you know?

i tako mogu da radim šta želim, znate?

I'm making out with Brad Pitt, and Angelina is totally cool with it.

Ljubim se s Bredom Pitom, a Anđelini to uopšte ne smeta.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But the goal of autism-assistive technology is bigger than that,

Ali cilj tehnologije u službi autizma je veći od toga

and more important.

i važniji.

My goal is to shift people's perspective

Moj cilj je da promenim to kako ljudi vide

of autism and people with higher-functioning Asperger's

autizam i ljude sa visoko funkcionalnim Aspergerom

because there is a lot they can do.

jer oni mogu toliko toga da postignu.

I mean, look at Temple Grandin, for example.

Mislim, pogledajte Templ Grandin, na primer.

And by doing so, we allow people to share their talents with this world

Na taj način omogućujemo ljudima da podele svoje talente sa svetom

and move this world forward.

i da pokreću ovaj svet napred.

In addition, we give them the courage to pursue their dreams

Uz to ih ohrabrujemo da slede svoje snove

in the real world, in real time.

u stvarnom svetu, u realnom vremenu.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)