My Inner Life with Asperger's | Alix Generous | TED Talks

譯者: Wink Wong 審譯者: Jack Ricardo

Today, I want to talk to you about dreams.

今日我想跟大家談談夢想

I have been a lucid dreamer my whole life,

我一直都發着清醒夢

and it's cooler than in the movies.

它比看電影 還要酷

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Beyond flying, breathing fire,

除了飛天 噴火㚈

and making hot men spontaneously appear ...

還可以讓性感的帥哥 自動走近眼前

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I can do things like read and write music.

我可以做很多事 例如閱讀和作曲

Fun fact is that I wrote my personal statement to college

最有趣的是我在夢中 寫了一篇自我介紹

in a dream.

用來申請入大學

And I did accepted. So, yeah.

後來我真的獲取錄了 所以很棒

I am a very visual thinker.

我擅長用視覺思考

I think in pictures, not words.

不用文字 而是用圖像思考

To me, words are more like instincts and language.

我覺得文字比較像本能和語言

There are many people like me;

有很多人像我一樣

Nikola Tesla, for example,

例如尼古拉特斯拉

who could visualize, design, test, and troubleshoot everything --

他所有發明 都來自腦中閃出的靈感

all of his inventions -- in his mind, accurately.

他準確地想像細節 再設計 測試 最後解決所有問題

Language is kind of exclusive to our species, anyway.

語言對於我們這類人來說比較高檔

I am a bit more primitive,

我比較有點粗鄙

like a beta version of Google Translate.

好像谷歌翻譯的試用版

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

My brain has the ability to hyper-focus on things that interest me.

我腦內有種能力 讓我非常專注有興趣的事物

For example, once I had an affair with calculus

例如一旦我愛上了微積分

that lasted longer than some celebrity marriages.

比那些名人的婚姻 更來得長久

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

There are some other unusual things about me.

我還有其他奇異的特徴

You may have noticed that I don't have much inflection

你會發現我談話時

in my voice.

聲音缺少抑揚頓挫

That's why people often confuse me with a GPS.

所以別人常常誤會我是一把GPS聲帶

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

This can make basic communication a challenge, unless you need directions.

除非你只需要問路 否則很難溝通

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Thank you.

多謝

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）

A few years ago, when I started doing presentations,

幾年前 我要發表演說

I went to get head shots done for the first time.

第一次拍頭部照片

The photographer told me to look flirty.

攝影師叫我扮成風情萬種

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I had no idea what she was talking about.

我不明白她説什麼

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

She said, "Do that thing, you know, with your eyes,

她説：妳向男性調情時

when you're flirting with guys."

妳知道怎樣表示眼神

"What thing?" I asked.

我問：怎樣什麼？

"You know, squint."

＂瞇瞇眼＂

And so I tried, really.

於是我試試看

It looked something like this.

就是這個樣子

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I looked like I was searching for Waldo.

我像搜尋威利（兒童繪本）的樣子

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

There's a reason for this,

其實這是有原因的

as there is a reason that Waldo is hiding.

威力躲在那裡 是有道理

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I have Asperger's,

我有阿氏保加症

a high-functioning form of autism

它是一種高功能自閉症

that impairs the basic social skills one is expected to display.

缺乏應有的社交能力

It's made life difficult in many ways,

於是在日常生活 遇上不少困難

and growing up, I struggled to fit in socially.

長大後 我吃力地適應社交生活

My friends would tell jokes, but I didn't understand them.

朋友說笑話時 我懵然不知

My personal heroes were George Carlin and Stephen Colbert --

我最崇拜喬治卡林和史提芬科拜爾

and they taught me humor.

他們敎曉我什麼是幽默

My personality switched from being shy and awkward

自己的性格由笨拙害羞

to being defiant and cursing out a storm.

變成大膽 常常口出狂言

Needless to say, I did not have many friends.

不用說 我交不到幾個朋友

I was also hypersensitive to texture.

我對質感非常敏感

The feel of water on my skin was like pins and needles,

當皮膚踫到水 就有如針刺的感覺

and so for years, I refused to shower.

所以多年來 我不肯洗澡

I can assure you that my hygiene routine is up to standards now, though.

但我可以保證 現在日常衞生已達標

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I had to do a lot to get here, and my parents --

我克服很多東西 才有今日 我父母⋯

things kind of got out of control when I was sexually assaulted by a peer,

那時有一個同事侵犯我 一切失控

and on top of everything, it made a difficult situation worse.

平時我已經夠多問題 這樣更加雪山加霜

And I had to travel 2,000 miles across the country to get treatment,

我要穿州過省 橫越二千公里求醫

but within days of them prescribing a new medication,

但數日內 醫生開了一種新藥給我

my life turned into an episode of the Walking Dead.

從此我走進了 如行屍電視劇的世界

I became paranoid, and began to hallucinate

患上了妄想症 開始幻想

that rotting corpses were coming towards me.

有一羣腐爛的死屍 向我迎面而來

My family finally rescued me,

最後家人救了我出來

but by that time, I had lost 19 pounds in those three weeks,

我在那𥚃渡過3個月 瘦了19磅

as well as developing severe anemia,

還有患了嚴重貧血

and was on the verge of suicide.

而且瀕臨自殺的邊緣

I transferred to a new treatment center that understood my aversions,

我轉到新的治療中心 他們知道

my trauma, and my social anxiety,

我的反感 創傷及患有社交恐懼症

and they knew how to treat it, and I got the help I finally needed.

懂得怎樣治療我 給我適當的照顧

And after 18 months of hard work,

經過18個月的努力

I went on to do incredible things.

我繼續做一些令人難以置信的事

One of the things with Asperger's is that oftentimes,

很多時 亞氏保加症患者

these people have a very complex inner life,

內心很複雜

and I know for myself, I have a very colorful personality,

我知道自己性格變化多端

rich ideas, and just a lot going on in my mind.

有很多想頭 在我腦袋不停在轉

But there's a gap between where that stands,

但有一條鴻溝在那𥚃阻隔著

and how I communicate it with the rest of the world.

我跟外面的世界表達自己的意念

And this can make basic communication a challenge.

這樣做成溝通的障礙

Not many places would hire me, due to my lack of social skills,

因為缺乏社交技巧 沒有太多人請我

which is why I applied to Waffle House.

這是我到窩夫專門店 見工的原因

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Waffle House is an exceptional 24-hour diner --

窩夫專門店是間頂級的24小時食店

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）

thank you --

多謝

where you can order your hash browns

你在那𥚃可以叫馬鈴薯煎餅

the many ways that someone would dispose of a human corpse ...

這是有人想棄屍的途徑

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Sliced, diced, peppered, chunked, topped, capped, and covered.

切片切粒 撒上糊椒粉 或切塊加蓋⋯

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

As social norms would have it,

由於易受社會束缚

you should only go to Waffle House at an ungodly hour in the night.

所以只在大家不方便的晚上 光顧這食店

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So one time, at 2 am, I was chatting with a waitress, and I asked her,

有一晚兩點 我跟女侍應閒聊 我問她：

"What's the most ridiculous thing that's happened to you on the job?"

妳工作時 遇到什麼最荒謬的事情？

And she told me that one time, a man walked in completely naked.

她告訴我有一次看見一個全棵的男人走進來

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I said, "Great! Sign me up for the graveyard shift!"

我說：好啊！請我做夜班吧！

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Needless to say, Waffle House did not hire me.

不用說 窩夫專門店並没有聘請我

So in terms of having Asperger's, it can be viewed as a disadvantage,

提到阿氏保加症 人們認為是一種缺陷

and sometimes it is a real pain in the butt,

有時真是有點惱人

but it's also the opposite.

但是也有相對的好處

It's a gift, and it allows me to think innovatively.

它給予我天賦 讓我創意無限

At 19, I won a research competition for my research on coral reefs,

我19歲就以珊瑚礁的硏究 奪得研究比賽

and I ended up speaking

最後更要發表演講

at the UN Convention of Biological Diversity,

到聯合國生物多樣性公約會議

presenting this research.

介紹這次研究

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）

Thank you.

多謝

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）

And at 22, I'm getting ready to graduate college,

我22歲快將大學畢業時

and I am a co-founder of a biotech company called AutismSees.

就是一間生物科技公司的共同創辦人 它名叫AutismSees

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）

Thank you.

多謝

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）

But consider what I had to do to get here:

但想到我經歷了什麼 才有今日：

25 therapists, 11 misdiagnoses, and years of pain and trauma.

我看過25個治療師 遭到11次誤診和受到多年的痛苦折磨

I spent a lot of time thinking if there's a better way,

我費煞思量 希望找到更好的方法

and I think there is: autism-assistive technology.

我想是有的 就是自閉症輔助科技

This technology could play an integral role

這類科技對幫助自閉光譜障礙人士

in helping people with autistic spectrum disorder,

起著不可缺少的作用

or ASD.

它簡稱叫做ASD

The app Podium, released by my company, AutismSees,

我的公司AutismSees 發放了Podiom 手機程式

has the ability to independently assess and help develop communication skills.

可以獨立評估和提升溝通技巧

In addition to this, it tracks eye contact through camera

而且它用相機 捕捉用者的眼神接觸

and simulates a public-speaking and job-interview experience.

也可以模擬公開演講 和見工的過程

And so maybe one day, Waffle House will hire me,

所以或許有一日 窩夫專門店會請我

after practicing on it some more.

待我再練習多一些

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And one of the great things is that I've used Podium

我採用Podium 其中最棒的地方

to help me prepare for today, and it's been a great help.

它幫我一個大忙 準備今天的演講

But it's more than that.

它還有很多好處

There's more that can be done.

還可以做到很多事情

For people with ASD --

關於患有ASD人士

it has been speculated that many innovative scientists,

人們都推測有很多有創意的科學家

researchers, artists, and engineers have it;

研究學者 藝術家和工程師都有ASD

like, for example, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, Isaac Newton, and Bill Gates

例如 埃美莉狄更生 珍奧斯汀 艾薩克牛頓和比爾蓋茨

are some examples.

都是這些例子

But the problem that's encountered

但問題是

is that these brilliant ideas often can't be shared

這些好主意常常不能一切分享

if there are communication roadblocks.

因為溝通遇到阻滯

And so, many people with autism are being overlooked every day,

每日有很多自閉症人士遭別人忽視

and they're being taken advantage of.

讓人佔了便宜

So my dream for people with autism is to change that,

所以我希望替這些人改善情況

to remove the roadblocks that prevent them from succeeding.

折除他們步向成功的障礙

One of the reasons I love lucid dreaming

我愛發清醒夢的原因

is because it allows me to be free,

就是它讓我感覺自由自在

without judgment of social and physical consequences.

不用理會社會的評價 和給身體帶來後果

When I'm flying over scenes that I create in my mind,

我的腦設計了場景 讓我在那裡飛翔

I am at peace.

那時我心境平靜

I am free from judgment,

不受別人的評頭品足

and so I can do whatever I want, you know?

想做什麼都可以

I'm making out with Brad Pitt, and Angelina is totally cool with it.

跟畢比特親熱 但安祖蓮娜毫不在意

(Laughter)

笑聲）

But the goal of autism-assistive technology is bigger than that,

這種科技還有更高的目標

and more important.

更加重要的使命

My goal is to shift people's perspective

我要改變人們對自閉症的想法

of autism and people with higher-functioning Asperger's

包括高效能阿氏保加症人士

because there is a lot they can do.

因為社會還可以多出幾分力

I mean, look at Temple Grandin, for example.

你看天寶葛蘭汀便是一個例子

And by doing so, we allow people to share their talents with this world

如果那樣的話 他們便可以發揮所長 貢獻社會

and move this world forward.

推動世界前進

In addition, we give them the courage to pursue their dreams

還有我們可以鼓勵他們追逐夢想

in the real world, in real time.

在這真實的時候 真實的世界

Thank you.

多謝

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）

Thank you.

多謝

(Applause)

（鼓掌聲）