My Inner Life with Asperger's | Alix Generous | TED Talks

Prevoditelj: Anja Kolobarić Recezent: Ivan Stamenković

Today, I want to talk to you about dreams.

Danas vam želim govoriti o snovima.

I have been a lucid dreamer my whole life,

Lucidno sanjam cijeli svoj život

and it's cooler than in the movies.

i štosnije je nego u filmovima.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Beyond flying, breathing fire,

Osim letenja, riganja vatre

and making hot men spontaneously appear ...

i spontanih pojavljivanja dobrih frajera...

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I can do things like read and write music.

mogu čitati i skladati.

Fun fact is that I wrote my personal statement to college

Jedna zanimljivost: napisala sam osobnu izjavu za faks

in a dream.

sanjajući.

And I did accepted. So, yeah.

I primili su me. Tako da,

I am a very visual thinker.

pravi sam vizualni tip.

I think in pictures, not words.

Razmišljam u slikama, a ne riječima.

To me, words are more like instincts and language.

Za mene su riječi više poput instinkta i jezika.

There are many people like me;

Ima još ljudi poput mene;

Nikola Tesla, for example,

npr. Nikola Tesla

who could visualize, design, test, and troubleshoot everything --

mogao je zamišljati, dizajnirati, testirati i rješavati probleme

all of his inventions -- in his mind, accurately.

svih svojih izuma u svom umu, i to točno.

Language is kind of exclusive to our species, anyway.

Jezik je ionako ograničen samo na našu vrstu.

I am a bit more primitive,

Ja sam malo primitivnija,

like a beta version of Google Translate.

nešto kao beta-verzija Google prevoditelja.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

My brain has the ability to hyper-focus on things that interest me.

Moj mozak ima sposobnost hiperfokusa na stvari koje me zanimaju.

For example, once I had an affair with calculus

Npr. jednom sam imala aferu s infinitezimalnim računom

that lasted longer than some celebrity marriages.

koja je trajala duže od nekih brakova slavnih osoba.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

There are some other unusual things about me.

Neobična sam.

You may have noticed that I don't have much inflection

Možda ste primijetili da nemam previše infleksije

in my voice.

u glasu.

That's why people often confuse me with a GPS.

Zato me ljudi znaju pomiješati s GPS-om.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

This can make basic communication a challenge, unless you need directions.

Zbog toga osnovna komunikacija zna biti teška, osim ako trebate upute.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

A few years ago, when I started doing presentations,

Kad sam prije nekoliko godina počela raditi prezentacije,

I went to get head shots done for the first time.

otišla sam po prvi put izraditi portret.

The photographer told me to look flirty.

Fotografkinja mi je rekla da izgledam koketno.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And I had no idea what she was talking about.

Nisam imala pojma o čemu priča.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

She said, "Do that thing, you know, with your eyes,

Rekla je: "Napravi ono, znaš ono, ono s očima

when you're flirting with guys."

kao kad očijukaš s frajerima."

"What thing?" I asked.

"Što to?" - upitah.

"You know, squint."

"Ma znaš, škilji."

And so I tried, really.

I pokušala sam, zaista jesam.

It looked something like this.

To je izgledalo ovako nekako.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I looked like I was searching for Waldo.

Izgledala sam kao da tražim Walda.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

There's a reason for this,

Za to postoji razlog,

as there is a reason that Waldo is hiding.

baš kao što postoji razlog zašto se Waldo skriva.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I have Asperger's,

Imam Aspergerov sindrom,

a high-functioning form of autism

visokofunkcionalni oblik autizma

that impairs the basic social skills one is expected to display.

koji onemogućuje pokazivanje osnovnih društvenih vještina.

It's made life difficult in many ways,

Moj je život otežao na mnoge načine

and growing up, I struggled to fit in socially.

i kako sam odrastala, imala sam problema s uklapanjem u društvo.

My friends would tell jokes, but I didn't understand them.

Moji bi prijatelji zbijali šale, a ja ih nisam razumjela.

My personal heroes were George Carlin and Stephen Colbert --

Osobni junaci bili su mi George Carlin i Stephen Colbert

and they taught me humor.

i oni su me naučili humoru.

My personality switched from being shy and awkward

Osobnost mi se promijenila od sramežljive i neprilagođene

to being defiant and cursing out a storm.

do prkosne i sklone psovanju kao kočijaš.

Needless to say, I did not have many friends.

Naravno, nisam imala puno prijatelja.

I was also hypersensitive to texture.

Bila sam i preosjetljiva na teksturu.

The feel of water on my skin was like pins and needles,

Voda na koži djelovala je poput igala

and so for years, I refused to shower.

i tako sam godinama izbjegavala tuš.

I can assure you that my hygiene routine is up to standards now, though.

Uvjeravam vas da je sada moja osobna higijena zadovoljavajuća.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I had to do a lot to get here, and my parents --

Da dođem do toga, trebali smo se jako potruditi i ja i moji roditelji.

things kind of got out of control when I was sexually assaulted by a peer,

Stvari su malo izmakle kontroli kad me je vršnjak seksualno napastvovao,

and on top of everything, it made a difficult situation worse.

što je već dovoljno tešku situaciju učinilo još težom.

And I had to travel 2,000 miles across the country to get treatment,

Morala sam prijeći 3000 km radi terapije,

but within days of them prescribing a new medication,

ali tek nekoliko dana nakon što su me stavili na novi lijek,

my life turned into an episode of the Walking Dead.

život mi se pretvorio u epizodu "Živih mrtvaca".

I became paranoid, and began to hallucinate

Postala sam paranoična i počela sam halucinirati

that rotting corpses were coming towards me.

da trupla u raspadu idu prema meni.

My family finally rescued me,

Obitelj me na kraju spasila,

but by that time, I had lost 19 pounds in those three weeks,

ali u ta tri tjedna već sam izgubila 7 kg,

as well as developing severe anemia,

a i oboljela sam od teške anemije

and was on the verge of suicide.

te sam bila nadomak samoubojstva.

I transferred to a new treatment center that understood my aversions,

Premjestila sam se u novi terapijski centar koji je shvaćao moje averzije,

my trauma, and my social anxiety,

moje traume i društvenu anksioznost.

and they knew how to treat it, and I got the help I finally needed.

Znali su je liječiti i konačno sam dobila potrebnu pomoć.

And after 18 months of hard work,

Nakon 18 mjeseci napornog rada,

I went on to do incredible things.

počela sam se baviti nevjerojatnim stvarima.

One of the things with Asperger's is that oftentimes,

Ljudi s Aspergerovim sindromom

these people have a very complex inner life,

često imaju kompleksne unutrašnje živote,

and I know for myself, I have a very colorful personality,

znam po sebi - imam jako šaroliku osobnost,

rich ideas, and just a lot going on in my mind.

bogate ideje i puno se toga događa u mojoj glavi.

But there's a gap between where that stands,

Postoji nesrazmjer između toga

and how I communicate it with the rest of the world.

i načina na koji komuniciramo sa svijetom,

And this can make basic communication a challenge.

što može otežati osnovnu komunikaciju.

Not many places would hire me, due to my lack of social skills,

Na malo bi me radnih mjesta primili zbog manjka socijalnih vještina.

which is why I applied to Waffle House.

Zato sam se prijavila za posao u "Waffle House".

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Waffle House is an exceptional 24-hour diner --

Super je to restoran koji radi 24 sata na dan.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

thank you --

Hvala vam.

where you can order your hash browns

Tu možete naručiti pržene krumpiriće

the many ways that someone would dispose of a human corpse ...

na sve načine na koje biste se mogli i riješiti trupla.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Sliced, diced, peppered, chunked, topped, capped, and covered.

Nasjeckane, popaprene, iskomadane prelivene, prekrivene, pokrivene.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

As social norms would have it,

Društvene norme nalažu da se

you should only go to Waffle House at an ungodly hour in the night.

u Waffle House ide samo u sitne sate.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So one time, at 2 am, I was chatting with a waitress, and I asked her,

Jednom sam u dva ujutro čavrljala s konobaricom i upitala je:

"What's the most ridiculous thing that's happened to you on the job?"

"Što je najčudnija stvar koja ti se dogodila na poslu?"

And she told me that one time, a man walked in completely naked.

Rekla mi je da joj je jednom čovjek u restoran ušao potpuno gol.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I said, "Great! Sign me up for the graveyard shift!"

Rekoh: "Odlično, piši me za treću smjenu!"

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Needless to say, Waffle House did not hire me.

Ne moram ni reći da me Waffle House nije zaposlio.

So in terms of having Asperger's, it can be viewed as a disadvantage,

Život s Aspergerovim sindromom može izgledati kao nepogoda.

and sometimes it is a real pain in the butt,

Nekada je to uistinu gnjavaža,

but it's also the opposite.

ali je i čista suprotnost tome.

It's a gift, and it allows me to think innovatively.

To je dar koji mi omogućava da razmišljam inovativno.

At 19, I won a research competition for my research on coral reefs,

S 19 g. pobijedila sam na istraživačkom natjecanju projektom o koraljnim grebenima

and I ended up speaking

i na kraju sam držala govor

at the UN Convention of Biological Diversity,

na UN-ovoj konvenciji bioloških raznolikosti

presenting this research.

gdje sam predstavila svoje istraživanje.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

And at 22, I'm getting ready to graduate college,

S 22 godine pripremam se diplomirati

and I am a co-founder of a biotech company called AutismSees.

i suosnivačica sam biotehnološke tvrtke "AutismSees".

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

But consider what I had to do to get here:

Razmislite o tome što sam sve trebala proći da dođem do toga:

25 therapists, 11 misdiagnoses, and years of pain and trauma.

25 terapeuta, 11 pogrešnih dijagnoza i godine boli i trauma.

I spent a lot of time thinking if there's a better way,

Dugo sam razmišljala o tome postoji li bolji način

and I think there is: autism-assistive technology.

i mislim da postoji: tehnologija za pomoć autistima.

This technology could play an integral role

Ta bi tehnologija mogla igrati ključnu ulogu

in helping people with autistic spectrum disorder,

u pomaganju ljudima s autističnog spektra,

or ASD.

odnosno s ASD-a.

The app Podium, released by my company, AutismSees,

Podium, aplikaciju koju je osmislila moja tvrtka AutismSees,

has the ability to independently assess and help develop communication skills.

može neovisno procijeniti komunikacijske vještine i pomoći u njihovu razvoju

In addition to this, it tracks eye contact through camera

te prati kontakt očima preko kamere

and simulates a public-speaking and job-interview experience.

i simulira okolnosti javnog govorenja i razgovora za posao.

And so maybe one day, Waffle House will hire me,

Možda me Waffle House jednog dana zaposli

after practicing on it some more.

nakon što se još malo izvježbam.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And one of the great things is that I've used Podium

Koristila sam Podium

to help me prepare for today, and it's been a great help.

kako bih se pripremila za danas i bio mi je od velike pomoći.

But it's more than that.

Ali to nije sve!

There's more that can be done.

Puno se toga još može učiniti.

For people with ASD --

Za nas s autističnog spektra --

it has been speculated that many innovative scientists,

pretpostavlja se da su ga mnogi inovativni znanstvenici,

researchers, artists, and engineers have it;

istraživači, umjetnici i inženjeri imali;

like, for example, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, Isaac Newton, and Bill Gates

npr. Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, Isaac Newton i Bill Gates

are some examples.

tek su neki od primjera.

But the problem that's encountered

No, problem s kojim se suočavamo

is that these brilliant ideas often can't be shared

jest taj da se ove briljantne ideje često ne mogu podijeliti s drugima

if there are communication roadblocks.

ako postoje zapreke u komunikaciji.

And so, many people with autism are being overlooked every day,

Na taj način osobe s autizmom u svakodnevnom životu bivaju zanemarene

and they're being taken advantage of.

i iskorištavane.

So my dream for people with autism is to change that,

Ja sanjam o tome da ću to promijeniti za ljude s autizmom,

to remove the roadblocks that prevent them from succeeding.

da ću ukloniti zapreke koje im stoje na putu do uspjeha.

One of the reasons I love lucid dreaming

Jedan od razloga zašto volim lucidno sanjanje

is because it allows me to be free,

jest taj što mi omogućava da budem slobodna,

without judgment of social and physical consequences.

bez društvenih i fizičkih posljedica.

When I'm flying over scenes that I create in my mind,

Kad letim pejzažima koje stvorim u vlastitom umu,

I am at peace.

mirna sam.

I am free from judgment,

Nitko me ne osuđuje

and so I can do whatever I want, you know?

i mogu raditi što god hoću, znate?

I'm making out with Brad Pitt, and Angelina is totally cool with it.

Drpam se s Bradom PIttom i Angelina nema ništa protiv.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But the goal of autism-assistive technology is bigger than that,

No, cilj tehnologije za pomoć autistima ipak je nešto viši

and more important.

i važniji.

My goal is to shift people's perspective

Moj je cilj ljudima promijeniti pogled

of autism and people with higher-functioning Asperger's

na autizam i ljude s visokofunkcionalnim Aspergerom

because there is a lot they can do.

jer puno toga mogu napraviti.

I mean, look at Temple Grandin, for example.

Npr. pogledajte samo Temple Grandin.

And by doing so, we allow people to share their talents with this world

Na taj način omogućavamo ljudima da dijele svoje talente sa svijetom

and move this world forward.

i da ga pomognu razviti.

In addition, we give them the courage to pursue their dreams

Osim toga, dajemo im hrabrost da slijede svoje snove.

in the real world, in real time.

U stvarnom svijetu, u stvarnom vremenu.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)