My Inner Life with Asperger's | Alix Generous | TED Talks

翻译人员: Jacky KA 校对人员: Twisted Meadows

Today, I want to talk to you about dreams.

今天，我想跟大家谈谈「梦」。

I have been a lucid dreamer my whole life,

我一生中都做着清醒的梦，

and it's cooler than in the movies.

它比电影还酷。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Beyond flying, breathing fire,

飞到远处，呼出火焰，

and making hot men spontaneously appear ...

安排暖男自然优雅地出现...

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I can do things like read and write music.

在梦里我能做很多事情， 比如阅读和创作音乐。

Fun fact is that I wrote my personal statement to college

有趣的是，我在梦里

给一个大学写过申请，

in a dream.

And I did accepted. So, yeah.

并且真的被接纳了。所以，是的。

I am a very visual thinker.

我是个非常视觉化的思考者。

I think in pictures, not words.

我以图片的形式思考，而非文字。

To me, words are more like instincts and language.

对我来说，文字更多是本能和语言。

There are many people like me;

有很多人是像我这样的：

Nikola Tesla, for example,

比如，尼古拉·特斯拉，

who could visualize, design, test, and troubleshoot everything --

他能形象化，设计，测试，以及修理每件东西——

all of his inventions -- in his mind, accurately.

所有他的发明—— 都在他的意识里，精确地进行。

Language is kind of exclusive to our species, anyway.

不管怎样，我们这类人 是比较排斥语言的。

I am a bit more primitive,

而我更原始一点，

like a beta version of Google Translate.

我就像谷歌翻译， 还是测试版。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

My brain has the ability to hyper-focus on things that interest me.

我的大脑会高度集中于感兴趣的事物，

For example, once I had an affair with calculus

比如，我曾经爱上微积分学，

that lasted longer than some celebrity marriages.

爱得比一些名人的婚姻还久一些。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

There are some other unusual things about me.

还有一些关于我的 不寻常的事情。

You may have noticed that I don't have much inflection

大家可能注意到了， 在我的声音里，

in my voice.

没有多少音调变化。

That's why people often confuse me with a GPS.

因此人们经常分不清 我和GPS导航的声音。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

This can make basic communication a challenge, unless you need directions.

这会对基本的交流带来挑战， 除非你只是想要导航语音。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

A few years ago, when I started doing presentations,

几年前，当我开始做公开演讲时，

I went to get head shots done for the first time.

我第一次去拍头像写真，

The photographer told me to look flirty.

摄影师让我表现得妩媚。

(Laughter)

(笑声)

And I had no idea what she was talking about.

然而我不知道她说的是什么。

(Laughter)

(笑声)

She said, "Do that thing, you know, with your eyes,

她说，“就那样，你懂的，用你的眼睛，

when you're flirting with guys."

像你在跟别人调情一样。”

"What thing?" I asked.

“什么样？”我问。

"You know, squint."

“比如…斜视。”

And so I tried, really.

然后我试了，真的。

It looked something like this.

看起来就像这样。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I looked like I was searching for Waldo.

我看起来就像在寻找沃尔多。 （译注：一本书《Where's Waldo?》）

(Laughter)

（笑声）

There's a reason for this,

这是有原因的，

as there is a reason that Waldo is hiding.

就如同沃尔多 藏起来也是有原因的。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I have Asperger's,

我有亚斯伯格症候群，

a high-functioning form of autism

一种高功能自闭症，

that impairs the basic social skills one is expected to display.

会削弱一个人本该具有的 基本社交能力。

It's made life difficult in many ways,

它使生活在很多方面变得困难，

and growing up, I struggled to fit in socially.

在成长的过程中， 我很难适应社交活动。

My friends would tell jokes, but I didn't understand them.

朋友们说笑时， 我却无法理解。

My personal heroes were George Carlin and Stephen Colbert --

我心中的英雄，是乔治·卡尔林 和史蒂芬·科尔伯特——

and they taught me humor.

他们教我幽默。

My personality switched from being shy and awkward

我的性格，从害羞与笨拙，

to being defiant and cursing out a storm.

变得叛逆，满是怨恨和诅咒。

Needless to say, I did not have many friends.

不用说，我没有多少朋友。

I was also hypersensitive to texture.

我对触觉也有过激反应。

The feel of water on my skin was like pins and needles,

皮肤碰到水的感觉 让我如坐针毡，

and so for years, I refused to shower.

所以在很多年里， 我都拒绝淋浴。

I can assure you that my hygiene routine is up to standards now, though.

不过我现在能向你们保证 我的日常卫生是合格的了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I had to do a lot to get here, and my parents --

我和我的父母，花了很大功夫 才让我变成现在这样。——

things kind of got out of control when I was sexually assaulted by a peer,

在某次我遭到性别歧视之后， 病情开始变得无法控制，

and on top of everything, it made a difficult situation worse.

原本就很困难的情况 被搞得更加糟糕。

And I had to travel 2,000 miles across the country to get treatment,

我不得不穿越2000英里的国土去接受治疗。

but within days of them prescribing a new medication,

但是吃了他们给我开的新药没几天，

my life turned into an episode of the Walking Dead.

我的生活就像是活在 《行尸走肉》的某一集里。

I became paranoid, and began to hallucinate

我变得偏执妄想， 并开始出现幻觉：

that rotting corpses were coming towards me.

腐烂的尸体们不断向我涌来。

My family finally rescued me,

我的家庭最终拯救了我，

but by that time, I had lost 19 pounds in those three weeks,

但在接受治疗的三周里， 我整整瘦了19磅，

as well as developing severe anemia,

患上了严重的贫血，

and was on the verge of suicide.

并且处于自杀的边缘。

I transferred to a new treatment center that understood my aversions,

我被转移到一个新的治疗中心， 那是一个真正能理解我的厌恶、

my trauma, and my social anxiety,

创伤、以及社交焦虑的地方，

and they knew how to treat it, and I got the help I finally needed.

并且他们知道怎么治疗。 我最终得到了所需的帮助。

And after 18 months of hard work,

在18个月的努力之后，

I went on to do incredible things.

我的生活得以继续， 可以去做美妙的事情。

One of the things with Asperger's is that oftentimes,

亚斯伯格症候群患者的一个特点是…

these people have a very complex inner life,

这些人往往有着 非常复杂的内心世界。

and I know for myself, I have a very colorful personality,

并且，我知道就我来说， 我有非常多彩的个性，

rich ideas, and just a lot going on in my mind.

丰富的想法，并且很多想法 正存在于我的意识当中。

But there's a gap between where that stands,

但有个障碍， 阻碍着我的意识与

and how I communicate it with the rest of the world.

世界的联系。

And this can make basic communication a challenge.

这就给基本的交流带来了挑战。

Not many places would hire me, due to my lack of social skills,

由于我的社交能力缺陷， 没有多少地方会雇佣我，

which is why I applied to Waffle House.

所以我去申请「华夫之家」的工作。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Waffle House is an exceptional 24-hour diner --

「华夫之家」是一家特别的24小时营业的餐厅--——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

thank you --

谢谢——

where you can order your hash browns

在那里你能吃到各种马铃薯饼，

the many ways that someone would dispose of a human corpse ...

它们展现了处理一具尸体的多种方式。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Sliced, diced, peppered, chunked, topped, capped, and covered.

切片，切丁，撒胡椒粉，切块， 削尖，封顶，以及覆盖。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

As social norms would have it,

因为有社会规范，

you should only go to Waffle House at an ungodly hour in the night.

你只有在夜里很晚的时候 才会去华夫之家。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So one time, at 2 am, I was chatting with a waitress, and I asked her,

所以一次在凌晨2点， 我与一个女服务员聊天，并问她，

"What's the most ridiculous thing that's happened to you on the job?"

“上班时遇到过最荒谬的事情是什么？”

And she told me that one time, a man walked in completely naked.

她告诉我，一次有一个男人光溜溜地走进来。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I said, "Great! Sign me up for the graveyard shift!"

我说，“真棒！雇我做夜班吧！”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Needless to say, Waffle House did not hire me.

不用说，「华夫之家」没有雇我。

So in terms of having Asperger's, it can be viewed as a disadvantage,

所以，关于亚斯伯格症候群， 它会被认为是不好的，

and sometimes it is a real pain in the butt,

并且有时它真的是令人极其讨厌的事，

but it's also the opposite.

但是也有相反的一面。

It's a gift, and it allows me to think innovatively.

它是一个礼物， 使我能创新地思考。

At 19, I won a research competition for my research on coral reefs,

19岁时，我的一项关于珊瑚礁的研究， 赢得了一个研究竞赛，

and I ended up speaking

并且最终得以在

at the UN Convention of Biological Diversity,

联合国的生物多样性大会上发表演讲，

presenting this research.

公布这项研究。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

And at 22, I'm getting ready to graduate college,

现在我22岁，正准备从大学毕业，

and I am a co-founder of a biotech company called AutismSees.

同时，我还是一家生物技术公司的联合创立人， 叫「AutismSees」。(「自闭症诊断」)

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

But consider what I had to do to get here:

但是请记住我走到今天这一步 曾作出过的努力：

25 therapists, 11 misdiagnoses, and years of pain and trauma.

25位治疗专家，11次误诊， 和多年的痛苦与创伤。

I spent a lot of time thinking if there's a better way,

我花了大量时间思考 是否有更好的办法。

and I think there is: autism-assistive technology.

我想是有的： 自闭症辅助技术。

This technology could play an integral role

这个技术能起绝对重要的作用，

in helping people with autistic spectrum disorder,

帮助泛自闭症障碍患者， （autistic spectrum disorder）

or ASD.

也就是ASD。

The app Podium, released by my company, AutismSees,

这个应用软件「Podium」, 是我的公司AutismSees发布的，

has the ability to independently assess and help develop communication skills.

能够独立地评定、 并帮助人们提高交流能力。

In addition to this, it tracks eye contact through camera

此外，通过摄像头能追踪眼神接触，

and simulates a public-speaking and job-interview experience.

并模拟公开演讲和工作面试的体验场景。

And so maybe one day, Waffle House will hire me,

也许有一天，「华夫之家」会雇佣我，

after practicing on it some more.

在我使用这个软件 再进行一些练习之后。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And one of the great things is that I've used Podium

有一件非常棒的事情是， 我使用「Podium」

to help me prepare for today, and it's been a great help.

准备了今天的演讲， 它真是帮上大忙了。

But it's more than that.

但是，还不止这样。

There's more that can be done.

它能做得更多。

For people with ASD --

为ASD患者——

it has been speculated that many innovative scientists,

据推测，许多创新科学家、

researchers, artists, and engineers have it;

研究员、艺术家和工程师都患有ASD。

like, for example, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, Isaac Newton, and Bill Gates

像是，比如，艾米丽·迪克森，简·奥斯汀， 伊萨克·牛顿，以及比尔.盖茨，

are some examples.

这都是有名的例子。

But the problem that's encountered

但是，问题是，

is that these brilliant ideas often can't be shared

优秀的想法经常不能被共享，

if there are communication roadblocks.

如果存在交流的障碍。

And so, many people with autism are being overlooked every day,

所以，如今许多有自闭症的人们正在被忽略，

and they're being taken advantage of.

并且一直被欺负。

So my dream for people with autism is to change that,

所以，我梦想为自闭症患者改变这个状况，

to remove the roadblocks that prevent them from succeeding.

除去阻挡他们成功的障碍。

One of the reasons I love lucid dreaming

我喜欢「清醒梦」的其中一个原因是，

is because it allows me to be free,

它会使我变得自由，

without judgment of social and physical consequences.

没有社会的评价和物理的后果。

When I'm flying over scenes that I create in my mind,

当飘荡在由意识创造的场景中时，

I am at peace.

我处于平和的状态。

I am free from judgment,

我不需要被评价，

and so I can do whatever I want, you know?

并且能做我想做的一切事情， 你知道吗？

I'm making out with Brad Pitt, and Angelina is totally cool with it.

我想象我和布拉德·皮特在一起， 而且安吉丽娜也完全不介意。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But the goal of autism-assistive technology is bigger than that,

但是自闭症辅助技术的目标比这更大，

and more important.

并且更重要。

My goal is to shift people's perspective

我的目标是改变人们对自闭症，

of autism and people with higher-functioning Asperger's

以及高功能亚斯伯格症候群患者的看法。

because there is a lot they can do.

因为，他们是能做很多事情的。

I mean, look at Temple Grandin, for example.

我的意思是，比如， 像坦普尔·葛兰汀那样。

And by doing so, we allow people to share their talents with this world

通过这样做，我们使他们能够与 这个世界分享他们的才能，

and move this world forward.

并推动这个世界前进。

In addition, we give them the courage to pursue their dreams

另外，我们给他们勇气来追逐自己的梦想，

in the real world, in real time.

——在真实的世界，真实的时刻里。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）