I survived a terrorist attack. Here's what I learned | Gill Hicks

Translator: Doris Kos Reviewer: Nika Kotnik

I could never have imagined

Nikoli si nisem predstavljala,

that a 19-year-old suicide bomber

da me bo 19-letni samomorilski napadalec

would actually teach me a valuable lesson.

naučil življenjske lekcije.

But he did.

Pa me je.

He taught me to never presume anything

Naučil me je, da nikoli ne smeš domnevati česarkoli,

about anyone you don't know.

o komerkoli, ki ga ne poznaš.

On a Thursday morning in July 2005,

Na četrtkovo jutro, julija 2005,

the bomber and I, unknowingly,

sva se z napadalcem, nevede,

boarded the same train carriage at the same time,

istočasno vkrcala na isti vagon,

standing, apparently, just feet apart.

stala pa sva, očitno, samo nekaj korakov narazen.

I didn't see him.

Nisem ga videla.

Actually, I didn't see anyone.

V bistvu nisem videla nikogar.

You know not to look at anyone on the Tube,

Vsi vedo, da na podzemni nikogar ne gledaš,

but I guess he saw me.

a izgleda, da je on videl mene.

I guess he looked at all of us,

Zgleda, da je gledal nas vse,

as his hand hovered over the detonation switch.

ko je njegova roka lebdela nad bombnim sprožilcem.

I've often wondered: What was he thinking?

Pogosto sem se spraševala: "O čem je razmišljal?"

Especially in those final seconds.

Posebno v tistih zadnjih sekundah.

I know it wasn't personal.

Vem,da ni bilo osebno.

He didn't set out to kill or maim me, Gill Hicks.

Ni imel namena ubiti ali pohabiti mene, Gill Hicks.

I mean -- he didn't know me.

Mislim - sploh me ni poznal.

No.

Ne.

Instead, he gave me

Namesto tega, me je

an unwarranted and an unwanted label.

nepričakovano in nezaželeno označil.

I had become the enemy.

Postala sem sovražnik.

To him, I was the "other,"

Zanj sem bila "nekdo drug",

the "them," as opposed to "us."

"oni", namesto "mi".

The label "enemy" allowed him to dehumanize us.

Oznaka "sovražnik" mu je dovolila, da nas je razčlovečil.

It allowed him to push that button.

Omogočilo mu je, da je pritisnil na tisti gumb.

And he wasn't selective.

In ni izbiral.

Twenty-six precious lives were taken in my carriage alone,

26 dragocenih življenj je bilo vzetih, samo v mojem vagonu

and I was almost one of them.

in jaz sem skoraj bila ena izmed njih.

In the time it takes to draw a breath,

V času, ko narediš en vdih,

we were plunged into a darkness so immense

smo bili pahnjeni v tako močno temačnost,

that it was almost tangible;

da smo jo skoraj lahko oprijeli;

what I imagine wading through tar might be like.

tako kot si predstavljam, da bi bilo polzenje skozi katran.

We didn't know we were the enemy.

Nismo vedeli, da smo sovražniki.

We were just a bunch of commuters who, minutes earlier,

Bili smo le skupina potnikov, ki se je, minute pred tem,

had followed the Tube etiquette:

obnašala po pravilih na podzemni:

no direct eye contact,

nič očesnega stika,

no talking

nič govorjenja

and absolutely no conversation.

in absolutno nič pogovarjanja.

But in the lifting of the darkness,

Med dviganjem iz teme

we were reaching out.

pa smo poskušali vzpostaviti stik.

We were helping each other.

Drug drugemu smo pomagali.

We were calling out our names,

Klicali smo svoja imena,

a little bit like a roll call,

približno kot pri preverjanju prisotnosti,

waiting for responses.

čakajoč na odzive.

"I'm Gill. I'm here.

"Sem Gill. Tukaj sem.

I'm alive.

Živa sem.

OK."

OK."

"I'm Gill.

"Sem Gill.

Here.

Tukaj.

Alive.

Živa.

OK."

OK."

I didn't know Alison.

Alison nisem poznala.

But I listened for her check-ins every few minutes.

A sem njeno oglašanje poslušala vsakih nekaj minut.

I didn't know Richard.

Nisem poznala Richarda.

But it mattered to me that he survived.

A mi je bilo pomembno, da je preživel.

All I shared with them

Vse, kar sem delila z njimi,

was my first name.

je bilo moje ime.

They didn't know

Niso vedeli, da sem bila vodja oddelka v Svetu za oblikovanje.

that I was a head of a department at the Design Council.

And here is my beloved briefcase,

In to je moja preljuba torba,

also rescued from that morning.

prav tako rešena tistega jutra.

They didn't know that I published architecture and design journals,

Niso vedeli, da objavljam članke o arhitekturi in oblikovanju,

that I was a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts,

da sem bila član v Kraljevem društvu za umetnost,

that I wore black --

da sem se oblačila v črno -.

still do --

da se še vedno -

that I smoked cigarillos.

da kadim cigarilose.

I don't smoke cigarillos anymore.

Cigarilosov ne kadim več.

I drank gin and I watched TED Talks,

Pila sem gin in gledala TED govore,

of course, never dreaming that one day I would be standing,

seveda si nikoli nisem mislila, da bom nekega dne stala,

balancing on prosthetic legs,

iskala ravnotežje na protetičnih nogah,

giving a talk.

imela govor.

I was a young Australian woman doing extraordinary things in London.

Bila sem mlado, avstralsko dekle, ki je počela neverjetne stvari v Londonu.

And I wasn't ready for that all to end.

In nisem bila pripravljena, da bi se vse to končalo.

I was so determined to survive

Bila sem tako odločena, da preživim,

that I used my scarf to tie tourniquets around the tops of my legs,

da sem uporabila svoj šal kot kompresijsko obvezo okrog zgornjih delov svojih nog

and I just shut everything and everyone out,

in odmislila sem vse in vsakogar,

to focus, to listen to myself,

da sem se osredotočila, poslušala sebe,

to be guided by instinct alone.

da me je vodil samo moj občutek.

I lowered my breathing rate.

Upočasnila sem svoje dihanje.

I elevated my thighs.

Vzdignila sem si stegna.

I held myself upright

Postavila sem se pokončno

and I fought the urge to close my eyes.

in se borila z željo, da zaprem oči.

I held on for almost an hour,

Zdržala sem skoraj eno uro,

an hour to contemplate the whole of my life

eno uro, da sem razmislila o svojem življenju

up until this point.

vse do te točke.

Perhaps I should have done more.

Morda bi morala storiti več.

Perhaps I could have lived more, seen more.

Morda bi morala živeti več, videti več.

Maybe I should have gone running, dancing, taken up yoga.

Mogoče bi morala pričeti s tekom, plesom, jogo.

But my priority and my focus was always my work.

A moja prioriteta in fokus je bila vedno služba.

I lived to work.

Živela sem za službo.

Who I was on my business card

Kdo sem bila na svoji poslovni vizitki,

mattered to me.

mi je bilo pomembno.

But it didn't matter down in that tunnel.

A v tistem tunelu to ni bilo pomembno.

By the time I felt that first touch

Do trenutka, ko sem začutila prvi dotik

from one of my rescuers,

enega od mojih rešiteljev,

I was unable to speak,

nisem bila sposobna govoriti,

unable to say even a small word, like "Gill."

nisem bila zmožna izgovoriti niti kratke besede, kot je "Gill".

I surrendered my body to them.

Svoje telo sem predala njim.

I had done all I possibly could,

Naredila sem popolnoma vse, kar sem lahko,

and now I was in their hands.

sedaj pa sem bila v njihovih rokah.

I understood

Razumela sem,

just who and what humanity really is,

kdo in kaj človečnost dejansko je,

when I first saw the ID tag

ko sem prvič zagledala izkaznico,

that was given to me when I was admitted to hospital.

ki mi je bila dana, ko sem bila sprejeta v bolnišnico.

And it read:

Na njej je pisalo:

"One unknown estimated female."

"Ena neznana ocenjena ženska."

One unknown estimated female.

Ena neznana ocenjena ženska.

Those four words were my gift.

Te štiri besede so bile moje darilo.

What they told me very clearly

Jasno so mi povedali,

was that my life was saved,

da je bilo moje življenje rešeno

purely because I was a human being.

preprosto zato, ker sem človeško bitje.

Difference of any kind made no difference

Kakršnakoli razlika ni bila pomembna

to the extraordinary lengths that the rescuers were prepared to go

mojim rešiteljem, ki so bili pripravljeni storiti marsikaj,

to save my life,

da bi rešili moje življenje,

to save as many unknowns as they could,

da bi rešili čimveč neznanih, kot jih lahko,

and putting their own lives at risk.

medtem ko so na nitko postavljali svoja življenja.

To them, it didn't matter if I was rich or poor,

Njim ni bilo pomembno, če sem bogata ali revna,

the color of my skin,

barva moje kože,

whether I was male or female,

ali sem moški ali ženska,

my sexual orientation,

moja spolna usmerjenost,

who I voted for,

za koga glasujem,

whether I was educated,

če sem izobražena,

if I had a faith or no faith at all.

ali sem verna ali ne.

Nothing mattered

Nič ni bilo pomembno,

other than I was a precious human life.

razen to, da sem dragoceno človeško življenje.

I see myself as a living fact.

Sebe vidim kot živeče dejstvo.

I am proof

Sem dokaz,

that unconditional love and respect can not only save,

da brezpogojna ljubezen in spoštovanje lahko ne samo rešita,

but it can transform lives.

ampak transformirata življenja.

Here is a wonderful image of one of my rescuers, Andy, and I

Tu je čudovita slika enega mojih rešiteljev, Andyja, in mene,

taken just last year.

posneta lansko leto.

Ten years after the event,

Deset let po dogodku

and here we are, arm in arm.

in tukaj sva bila, z roko v roki.

Throughout all the chaos,

Skozi celoten kaos

my hand was held tightly.

je bila moja roka močno držana.

My face was stroked gently.

Moj obraz je bil nežno božan.

What did I feel?

Kaj sem čutila?

I felt loved.

Čutila sem se ljubljeno.

What's shielded me from hatred and wanting retribution,

Tisto, kar me je ščitilo pred sovraštvom in željo po povračilu,

what's given me the courage to say:

tisto, kar mi je dalo pogum, da rečem:

this ends with me

pri meni se to konča,

is love.

je ljubezen.

I was loved.

Bila sem ljubljena.

I believe the potential for widespread positive change

Verjamem, da je potencial za razširjene pozitivne spremembe,

is absolutely enormous

neverjetno ogromen,

because I know what we're capable of.

ker vem, česa smo sposobni.

I know the brilliance of humanity.

Poznam briljantnost človeštva.

So this leaves me with some pretty big things to ponder

Vse to pa me pusti z ogromnimi stvari za premlevanje

and some questions for us all to consider:

in določenimi vprašanji, ki bi jih morali premisliti mi vsi:

Is what unites us not far greater than what can ever divide?

ali ni tisto, kar nas združuje, precej večje kot tisto, kar nas ločuje?

Does it have to take a tragedy or a disaster

Se mora resnično zgoditi tragedija ali katastrofa,

for us to feel deeply connected as one species,

da se bomo počutili globoko povezani kot ena vrsta,

as human beings?

kot človeška bitja?

And when will we embrace the wisdom of our era

In kdaj bomo sprejeli modrost naše dobe,

to rise above mere tolerance

da se dvignemo nad zgolj toleranco

and move to an acceptance

in začnemo sprejemati

for all who are only a label until we know them?

vse, ki so samo oznaka, dokler jih ne spoznamo?

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(aplavz)