I survived a terrorist attack. Here's what I learned | Gill Hicks

譯者: 易帆 余 審譯者: Jia Li

I could never have imagined

我從未想過

that a 19-year-old suicide bomber

一個 19 歲的自殺式炸彈客

would actually teach me a valuable lesson.

可以讓我學到甚麼有價值的一課。

But he did.

但他做到了。

He taught me to never presume anything

他教會我，永遠不要對你不認識的人 有任何的預設立場。

about anyone you don't know.

On a Thursday morning in July 2005,

在 2005 年七月的一個星期二早上，

the bomber and I, unknowingly,

炸彈客跟我，不期而遇地，

boarded the same train carriage at the same time,

同時踏上了同一台火車車廂，

standing, apparently, just feet apart.

我們離彼此才幾步遠。

I didn't see him.

但我卻沒看到他。

Actually, I didn't see anyone.

老實說，我根本沒在看人。

You know not to look at anyone on the Tube,

大家都知道不要在車廂盯著別人看，

but I guess he saw me.

但我猜，他有看到我。

I guess he looked at all of us,

我猜，他是緊握著手中的引爆器 看著我們全部的人。

as his hand hovered over the detonation switch.

I've often wondered: What was he thinking?

我常在想：他當時是在想什麼？

Especially in those final seconds.

尤其是最後的那幾秒。

I know it wasn't personal.

我知道這無關私人恩怨。

He didn't set out to kill or maim me, Gill Hicks.

他不是預謀要殺掉我，或讓我重殘。

I mean -- he didn't know me.

我的意思是——他根本不認識 吉爾席克絲，我這個人，

No.

根本不認識。

Instead, he gave me

然而，他卻給我貼了個標籤，

an unwarranted and an unwanted label.

一個我不想要而且莫須有的標籤。

I had become the enemy.

我變成了「敵人」。

To him, I was the "other,"

對他而言，我是「外人」、

the "them," as opposed to "us."

「他們」，跟「我們」是對立的。

The label "enemy" allowed him to dehumanize us.

那個「敵人」的標籤， 剝奪掉了我們的人性。

It allowed him to push that button.

逼他按下了按鈕。

And he wasn't selective.

他沒有刻意挑選。

Twenty-six precious lives were taken in my carriage alone,

同車廂的 26 條生命 就這樣被帶走了，

and I was almost one of them.

我差點成為其中一個。

In the time it takes to draw a breath,

就在那瞬息，

we were plunged into a darkness so immense

我們被送進了一個

幾乎觸手就可及的無底深淵；

that it was almost tangible;

what I imagine wading through tar might be like.

我想像，奮力掙扎出柏油 大概就是這樣。

We didn't know we were the enemy.

我們不知道， 我們怎麼會被歸類成敵人。

We were just a bunch of commuters who, minutes earlier,

我們只是一群早起

遵守著車廂禮儀的上班族：

had followed the Tube etiquette:

no direct eye contact,

彼此沒有眼神交會、

no talking

沒有說話，

and absolutely no conversation.

更沒有交談。

But in the lifting of the darkness,

但當悲劇發生後，

we were reaching out.

我們伸出了雙手，

We were helping each other.

彼此幫忙協助。

We were calling out our names,

我們呼喊著我們的名字，

a little bit like a roll call,

有點像在點名，

waiting for responses.

並等待救援的回應。

"I'm Gill. I'm here.

「我是吉兒，我在這，

I'm alive.

我還活著......

OK."

好。」

"I'm Gill.

「我是吉兒，

Here.

我在這，

Alive.

活著......

OK."

好。」

I didn't know Alison.

我不認識艾利森。

But I listened for her check-ins every few minutes.

但我每隔幾分鐘都會聽到他的呼救。

I didn't know Richard.

我不認識理查。

But it mattered to me that he survived.

但他能活著對我意義重大。

All I shared with them

我能分享給他們的

was my first name.

就只有我的名字。

They didn't know

他們不知道

that I was a head of a department at the Design Council.

我就是英國設計協會 Design Council 的一個部門首長。

And here is my beloved briefcase,

這一個是我最愛的公事包，

also rescued from that morning.

那個早上，它救了我一命。

They didn't know that I published architecture and design journals,

他們不知道我有發行 建築與設計的雜誌，

that I was a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts,

我也是一位皇家文藝學會的成員，

that I wore black --

我喜歡穿黑色的——

still do --

現在仍是——

that I smoked cigarillos.

我抽小雪茄，

I don't smoke cigarillos anymore.

但現在不抽了。

I drank gin and I watched TED Talks,

我喝琴酒，我看 TED 的演講，

of course, never dreaming that one day I would be standing,

當然，從來沒有夢想過 會有這麼一天，

我會站在這個舞台上

balancing on prosthetic legs,

用義肢平衡著......

giving a talk.

演講。

I was a young Australian woman doing extraordinary things in London.

我是一位在倫敦 表現出眾的澳洲年輕女士。

And I wasn't ready for that all to end.

我還沒有準備好就這樣結束生命。

I was so determined to survive

我決意求生，

that I used my scarf to tie tourniquets around the tops of my legs,

我用頭巾做成止血帶包紮我的大腿，

and I just shut everything and everyone out,

並向每個人大聲求救，

to focus, to listen to myself,

專注、傾聽著

to be guided by instinct alone.

我自己的內心聲音。

I lowered my breathing rate.

我降低我的呼吸速度。

I elevated my thighs.

抬高我的大腿。

I held myself upright

讓自己腰背挺直

and I fought the urge to close my eyes.

對抗著我即將閉起來的眼睛。

I held on for almost an hour,

我大概堅持了一個小時，

an hour to contemplate the whole of my life

在那一個小時裡，

我回顧了我的這一生，想著……

up until this point.

Perhaps I should have done more.

也許我應該要做更多的事，

Perhaps I could have lived more, seen more.

也許我可以活得更久、看得更多。

Maybe I should have gone running, dancing, taken up yoga.

也許我應該要去跑跑步、 跳跳舞、做瑜珈。

But my priority and my focus was always my work.

但我最在意最關注的 卻都是我的工作。

I lived to work.

我為工作而活，

Who I was on my business card

名片上的我

mattered to me.

比我自己還重要。

But it didn't matter down in that tunnel.

但在那個隧道裡，我什麼都不是。

By the time I felt that first touch

當我第一時間

from one of my rescuers,

與救援人員接觸時，

I was unable to speak,

我說不出話來。

unable to say even a small word, like "Gill."

甚至自己的名字「吉兒」都喊不出來。

I surrendered my body to them.

我把我的身體託付給他們。

I had done all I possibly could,

我已經竭盡所能的存活下來，

and now I was in their hands.

接下來就只能靠他們了。

I understood

我這時才明白，

just who and what humanity really is,

人性的真正意義。

when I first saw the ID tag

就在我被送進醫院， 第一次看到我的識別卡的時候。

that was given to me when I was admitted to hospital.

And it read:

上面是這麼寫的：

"One unknown estimated female."

「身份不明，估計是女性」

One unknown estimated female.

身份不明，估計的女性。

Those four words were my gift.

這行字是我的禮物。

What they told me very clearly

它清楚地告訴了我，

was that my life was saved,

我被救活了，

purely because I was a human being.

只因為我是個人類。

Difference of any kind made no difference

任何的差異不再是距離，

to the extraordinary lengths that the rescuers were prepared to go

不管有多大的差異，

救援人員都隨時待命， 準備把我救活。

to save my life,

to save as many unknowns as they could,

他們把自己的生命至於生死之外， 竭盡所能地救活每一個人。

and putting their own lives at risk.

To them, it didn't matter if I was rich or poor,

對他們而言， 不管我多有錢或多貧窮、

the color of my skin,

不管我的膚色、

whether I was male or female,

不管我是男是女、

my sexual orientation,

我的性別傾向、

who I voted for,

我投票給誰、

whether I was educated,

我在哪受教育、

if I had a faith or no faith at all.

不管我有沒有宗教信仰，

Nothing mattered

一切都不重要了，

other than I was a precious human life.

只因我是一個珍貴的人命。

I see myself as a living fact.

我把自己當作一個活生生的例子，

I am proof

我可以證明

that unconditional love and respect can not only save,

無條件的愛與尊重不僅可以救人，

but it can transform lives.

還可以改變一個人的命運。

Here is a wonderful image of one of my rescuers, Andy, and I

這裡有一張很棒的照片， 我的救命恩人安迪和我，

taken just last year.

去年拍的照。

Ten years after the event,

事發後的十年，

and here we are, arm in arm.

我們肩並肩地走在一起。

Throughout all the chaos,

經歷了這場紛亂，

my hand was held tightly.

我的手握的更緊了。

My face was stroked gently.

我的臉滿溢著慈祥。

What did I feel?

我感受到甚麼？

I felt loved.

我感受到被愛。

What's shielded me from hatred and wanting retribution,

而讓我卸下仇恨與復仇的怨念

what's given me the courage to say:

並給我勇氣站出來說：

this ends with me

「到我這裡就結束吧！」的是……

is love.

愛，

I was loved.

我是被愛的。

I believe the potential for widespread positive change

我相信正向能量改變的潛力

is absolutely enormous

是無窮大的，

because I know what we're capable of.

因為我了解人類的能力，

I know the brilliance of humanity.

我了解人性的智慧。

So this leaves me with some pretty big things to ponder

這讓我想起一些很重要的事情，

and some questions for us all to consider:

讓大家一起來省思：

Is what unites us not far greater than what can ever divide?

難道使我們團結的東西 不比讓我們分化的更為重要？

Does it have to take a tragedy or a disaster

一定非得要等悲劇或災害的發生，

for us to feel deeply connected as one species,

才能讓我們深深感受到 彼此連結為一體，

as human beings?

都是人類嗎？

And when will we embrace the wisdom of our era

我們何時才能擁抱 我們這一世代的智慧，

to rise above mere tolerance

超越所謂的寬容，

and move to an acceptance

而願意接受所有的人，

for all who are only a label until we know them?

知道我們不只是一個標籤？

Thank you.

感謝各位！

(Applause)

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