Tan Le: My immigration story

Translator: Eva Rosell Reviewer: Fran Ontanaya

How can I speak in 10 minutes

Com puc parlar en només 10 minuts

about the bonds of women over three generations,

sobre els vincles de les dones durant tres generacions,

about how the astonishing strength of those bonds

sobre com la sorprenent força d'aquests vincles

took hold in the life of a four-year-old girl

es va apoderar de la vida

d'una nena de quatre anys

huddled with her young sister, her mother and her grandmother

al costat de la seva germana petita

la seva mare i la seva àvia

durant cinc dies i cinc nits

for five days and nights in a small boat in the China Sea

dins un petit vaixell al Mar de la Xina

fa més de 30 anys,

more than 30 years ago.

Bonds that took hold in the life of that small girl

uns vincles que es van apoderar d'aquesta nena

i mai la van deixar anar;

and never let go --

that small girl now living in San Francisco

aquesta nena que ara viu a Sant Francisco

i els esta parlant avui?

and speaking to you today.

Aquesta no és una història acabada.

This is not a finished story.

It is a jigsaw puzzle still being put together.

És un trencaclosques a mig fer.

Deixeu-me parlar sobre les seves peces.

Let me tell you about some of the pieces.

Imagineu-vos la primera peça:

Imagine the first piece: a man burning his life's work.

un home veient cremar la feina de tota una vida.

He is a poet, a playwright,

És poeta i dramaturg,

un home la vida del qual

a man whose whole life

had been balanced on the single hope of his country's unity and freedom.

s'havia recolzat en l'esperança única

de la unitat i la llibertat al seu país.

Imagine him as the communists enter Saigon --

Imagineu-vos-el quan els comunistes van entrar a Saigon,

confronting the fact that his life had been a complete waste.

afrontant el fet

que la seva vida havia estat una pèrdua de temps.

Words, for so long his friends, now mocked him.

Les paraules, amigues durant tant temps, ara es reien d'ell.

Es va refugiar en el silenci.

He retreated into silence.

He died broken by history.

Va morir atordit per la història.

He is my grandfather.

Parlo del meu avi.

Mai el vaig conèixer.

I never knew him in real life.

Però les nostres vides són més que memòries.

But our lives are much more than our memories.

My grandmother never let me forget his life.

La meva àvia mai va deixar que oblidés la seva història.

My duty was not to allow it to have been in vain,

La meva tasca era no permetre que allò hagués passat en va,

i la meva lliçó era aprendre

and my lesson was to learn that, yes, history tried to crush us,

que sí, la història va intentar aixafar-nos,

but we endured.

però vam resistir.

La següent peça del trencaclosques

The next piece of the jigsaw is of a boat in the early dawn

és un vaixell de matinada

slipping silently out to sea.

lliscant silenciosament mar endins.

Mai, la meva mare, tenia 18 anys

My mother, Mai, was 18 when her father died --

quan el seu pare va morir;

already in an arranged marriage,

amb un matrimoni concertat,

already with two small girls.

quan ja tenia dues nenes petites.

For her, life had distilled itself into one task:

Per a ella, la vida s'havia reduït a una sola tasca:

la fugida de la seva família

the escape of her family and a new life in Australia.

i una nova vida a Australia.

It was inconceivable to her that she would not succeed.

Per a ella era inconcebible

no aconseguir-ho.

So after a four-year saga that defies fiction,

I després d'una saga de 4 anys que desafia la ficció,

a boat slipped out to sea disguised as a fishing vessel.

un vaixell va lliscar mar endins

disfressat d'embarcació de pesca.

All the adults knew the risks.

Tots els adults coneixien els riscs.

The greatest fear was of pirates, rape and death.

El temor més gran eren els pirates,

la violació i la mort.

Com la majoria d'adults de la barca,

Like most adults on the boat,

la meva mare portava un pot petit de verí.

my mother carried a small bottle of poison.

If we were captured, first my sister and I,

Si ens capturaven, jo i la meva germana primer,

i després ella i la meva àvia en beurien.

then she and my grandmother would drink.

My first memories are from the boat --

Els meus primers records són del vaixell:

la marxa continua del motor,

the steady beat of the engine,

la proa submergint-se a cada onada,

the bow dipping into each wave,

l'horitzó buit i immens.

the vast and empty horizon.

No recordo els pirates que van venir alguns cops,

I don't remember the pirates who came many times,

but were bluffed by the bravado of the men on our boat,

però que van ser enganyats amb valentia

pels homes que hi havia al vaixell,

or the engine dying and failing to start for six hours.

o el motor fallant

i deixant de funcionar durant 6 hores.

But I do remember the lights on the oil rig off the Malaysian coast

Però recordo els llums de la plataforma petrolífera

prop de la costa de Malasia

i l'home jove qui va sofrir un col·lapse i va morir,

and the young man who collapsed and died,

the journey's end too much for him,

acabar el viatge era massa per ell;

i la primera poma que vaig tastar,

and the first apple I tasted, given to me by the men on the rig.

me la va donar un home de la plataforma.

No apple has ever tasted the same.

Cap poma ha tornat a tenir el mateix gust.

Després de tres mesos en un camp de refugiats,

After three months in a refugee camp, we landed in Melbourne.

vam desembarcar a Melbourne.

La següent peça del trencaclosques

And the next piece of the jigsaw is about four women

és sobre quatre dones al llarg de tres generacions

across three generations shaping a new life together.

construint una nova vida juntes.

Ens vam instal·lar a Footscray,

We settled in Footscray,

un suburbi de classe obrera

a working-class suburb whose demographic is layers of immigrants.

amb una població formada d'immigrants.

Unlike the settled middle-class suburbs, whose existence I was oblivious of,

A diferència dels suburbis de classe mitjana,

dels quals en desconeixia l'existència,

a Footscray no hi havia sentit del dret.

there was no sense of entitlement in Footscray.

Les olors provinents de les botigues eren d'arreu del món.

The smells from shop doors were from the rest of the world.

Els fragments d'anglès entretallat

And the snippets of halting English

eren intercanviats entre unes persones

were exchanged between people who had one thing in common:

que tenien una cosa en comú:

They were starting again.

estaven començant de nou.

My mother worked on farms,

La meva mare va treballar a granges,

then on a car assembly line,

després en una cadena de muntatge de cotxes,

working six days, double shifts.

treballant sis dies a doble torn.

D'alguna manera va trobar temps per a estudiar anglès,

Somehow, she found time to study English

and gain IT qualifications.

i obtenir un títol d'informàtica.

Érem pobres.

We were poor.

Tots els diners estaven assignats

All the dollars were allocated

i les classes extra d'anglès i matemàtiques

and extra tuition in English and mathematics was budgeted for

es financiaven

regardless of what missed out,

sense importar de què prescindíem,

which was usually new clothes;

que normalment era roba nova;

sempre era de segona mà.

they were always secondhand.

Dos parells de mitjons per a l'escola,

Two pairs of stockings for school,

each to hide the holes in the other.

un per a tapar els forats de l'altre.

Un uniforme escolar llarg fins als turmells,

A school uniform down to the ankles, because it had to last for six years.

perquè havia de durar sis anys.

Hi havia cants estranys però dolorosos

And there were rare but searing chants of "slit-eye"

sobre els "ulls esquinçats"

i els grafits habituals:

and the occasional graffiti:

"Asian, go home."

"Asiàtics, torneu a casa".

Go home to where?

Tornar a casa, on?

Alguna cosa es va encendre dins meu.

Something stiffened inside me.

There was a gathering of resolve and a quiet voice saying,

Era una acumulació de propòsits

i una veu suau que deia: "Ho superaré".

"I will bypass you."

La meva mare, la meva germana i jo

My mother, my sister and I slept in the same bed.

dormíem al mateix llit.

My mother was exhausted each night,

Cada nit, la meva mare estava esgotada,

però ens explicàvem com ens havia anat el dia

but we told one another about our day

i escoltàvem els moviments

and listened to the movements of my grandmother around the house.

de la meva àvia per casa.

La meva mare tenia malsons

My mother suffered from nightmares, all about the boat.

tots del vaixell.

And my job was to stay awake until her nightmares came

La meva feina era estar desperta fins que arribaven els malsons

so I could wake her.

per així poder despertar-la.

Va obrir una botiga d'ordinadors

She opened a computer store,

i després va estudiar per ser esteticista

then studied to be a beautician and opened another business.

i va obrir un altre negoci.

And the women came with their stories

Les dones venien amb les seves històries

about men who could not make the transition,

sobre homes incapaços d'evolucionar,

enfadats i inflexibles,

angry and inflexible,

and troubled children caught between two worlds.

i nens amb problemes atrapats entre dos móns.

Es van cercar subvencions i patrocinadors.

Grants and sponsors were sought.

Centers were established.

Es van crear centres.

Vivia en dos móns paral·lels.

I lived in parallel worlds.

En un, era la típica estudiant asiàtica,

In one, I was the classic Asian student,

relentless in the demands that I made on myself.

implacable en allò que em proposava a mi mateixa.

In the other, I was enmeshed in lives that were precarious,

En l'altre, estava involucrada en vides precàries,

tragically scarred by violence, drug abuse and isolation.

marcades tràgicament per la violència,

les drogues i la marginació.

But so many over the years were helped.

Però molts vam rebre ajuda al llarg dels anys.

I gràcies a això, quan estava cursant l'últim any de dret,

And for that work, when I was a final-year law student,

I was chosen as the Young Australian of the Year.

vaig ser nombrada australiana jove de l'any.

And I was catapulted from one piece of the jigsaw to another,

I vaig saltar

d'una peça del trencaclosques a una altra,

and their edges didn't fit.

i els seus marges no encaixaven.

Tan Le, resident anònima de Footscray,

Tan Le, anonymous Footscray resident,

era llavors Tan Le, refugiada i activista social,

was now Tan Le, refugee and social activist,

invited to speak in venues she had never heard of

convidada a parlar en reunions de les que no havia sentit a parlar mai

i a cases l'existència de les quals

and into homes whose existence she could never have imagined.

no s'havia imaginat mai.

No coneixia els protocols.

I didn't know the protocols.

No sabia com utilitzar la coberteria.

I didn't know how to use the cutlery.

No sabia parlar de vins.

I didn't know how to talk about wine.

I didn't know how to talk about anything.

No sabia parlar de res.

I wanted to retreat to the routines and comfort

Volia retrocedir a la rutina i el comfort

of life in an unsung suburb --

de la vida en un suburbi desconegut:

a grandmother, a mother and two daughters

una àvia, una mare i dues filles

ending each day as they had for almost 20 years,

finalitzant el dia tal com havien fet durant gairebé 20 anys,

explicant-se com els havia anat el dia

telling one another the story of their day

i adormint-se

and falling asleep, the three of us still in the same bed.

les tres encara al mateix llit.

Vaig dir a la meva mare que no podia fer-ho.

I told my mother I couldn't do it.

She reminded me that I was now the same age she had been

Em va recordar que llavors jo tenia la mateixa edat que ella

quan vam pujar en aquell vaixell.

when we boarded the boat.

"No" had never been an option.

El "no" mai havia estat una opció.

"Simplement fes-ho", va dir,

"Just do it," she said,

"and don't be what you're not."

"i no siguis el que no ets".

So I spoke out on youth unemployment and education

Així que vaig parlar sobre l'educació i la desocupació dels joves

and the neglect of the marginalized and disenfranchised.

i la desatenció dels marginats i aquelles persones privades de drets.

I com més parlava amb franquesa,

And the more candidly I spoke, the more I was asked to speak.

més em demanaven per parlar.

Vaig conèixer gent de diferents professions i condicions socials,

I met people from all walks of life,

so many of them doing the thing they loved,

molts d'ells fent allò que estimaven,

vivint a la frontera del possible.

living on the frontiers of possibility.

And even though I finished my degree,

I tot i que vaig acabar els estudis,

I realized I could not settle into a career in law.

em vaig adonar que no em podia endinsar en una carrera de dret.

There had to be another piece of the jigsaw.

Havia d'haver-hi una altra peça del trencaclosques.

I al mateix temps vaig adonar-me

And I realized, at the same time,

that it is OK to be an outsider,

que està bé ser un desconegut,

un recent arribat,

a recent arrival,

new on the scene --

nou a l'escenari;

and not just OK,

i no només està bé,

but something to be thankful for,

sinó que cal agrair-ho,

perhaps a gift from the boat.

potser un regal del vaixell.

Because being an insider can so easily mean collapsing the horizons,

Perquè estar a dins

fàcilment pot significar col·lapsar els horitzons,

fàcilment pot significar

can so easily mean accepting the presumptions of your province.

acceptar les assumpcions de la teva província.

He trepitjat prou fora del meu espai de comfort

I have stepped outside my comfort zone enough now

to know that, yes, the world does fall apart,

per saber que, sí, el món cau a trossos,

però no de la manera que temem.

but not in the way that you fear.

Possibilities that would not have been allowed

Possibilitats que no haurien estat permeses

es fomentaven arravadatament.

were outrageously encouraged.

Allà hi havia una energia,

There was an energy there,

an implacable optimism,

un optimisme implacable,

a strange mixture of humility and daring.

una barreja estranya d'humilitat i atreviment.

Així que vaig fer cas de la meva intuïció.

So I followed my hunches.

Vaig reunir amb mi un equip petit de persones

I gathered around me a small team of people

for whom the label "It can't be done" was an irresistible challenge.

per a qui l'etiqueta "no es pot fer"

era un repte irresistible.

For a year, we were penniless.

No vam tenir diners durant un any.

At the end of each day, I made a huge pot of soup

Al final de cada dia, cuinava una olla de sopa enorme

i la compartíem.

which we all shared.

Treballàvem fins tard a la nit,

We worked well into each night.

Most of our ideas were crazy,

La majoria de les nostres idees eren bogeries,

but a few were brilliant,

però algunes eren brillants,

and we broke through.

i ens vam obrir pas.

I made the decision to move to the US after only one trip.

Vaig decidir traslladar-me als Estats Units

després d'un sol viatge.

My hunches again.

Altre cop la meva intuïció.

Three months later, I had relocated, and the adventure has continued.

Tres mesos després m'havia traslladat,

i l'aventura ha continuat.

Abans d'acabar, però,

Before I close, though, let me tell you about my grandmother.

deixeu que us parli de la meva àvia.

Va ser criada en una època

She grew up at a time when Confucianism was the social norm

en què el confucianisme era la norma social

and the local mandarin was the person who mattered.

i l'única persona important era el mandarí local.

La vida no havia canviat durant segles.

Life hadn't changed for centuries.

El seu pare va morir poc després del seu naixement.

Her father died soon after she was born.

Her mother raised her alone.

La seva mare la va criar tota sola.

At 17, she became the second wife of a mandarin whose mother beat her.

Als 17 anys es va casar per segon cop

amb un mandarí la mare del qual la pegava.

With no support from her husband,

Sense cap suport del seu marit,

va despertar el furor portant-lo a judici

she caused a sensation by taking him to court

and prosecuting her own case,

i portant el cas ella sola,

and a far greater sensation when she won.

i un furor encara més gran quan va el guanyar.

(Laughter)

(Riures)

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)

Resulta que que el "no es pot fer" era erroni.

"It can't be done" was shown to be wrong.

I was taking a shower in a hotel room in Sydney

Era en una habitació d'hotel a Sydney dutxant-me

the moment she died,

quan va morir

600 miles away, in Melbourne.

a 700 quilòmetres de Melbourne.

Vaig mirar a través del vidre de la dutxa

I looked through the shower screen and saw her standing on the other side.

i la vaig veure de peu a l'altra banda.

I knew she had come to say goodbye.

Sabia que havia vingut a dir-me adéu.

La meva mare va trucar minuts després.

My mother phoned minutes later.

Uns dies més tard,

A few days later,

we went to a Buddhist temple in Footscray and sat around her casket.

vam anar a un temple budista de Footscray

i vam seure al voltant del taüt.

Li vam explicar històries

We told her stories and assured her that we were still with her.

i vam assegurar-li que encara érem amb ella.

At midnight, the monk came and told us he had to close the casket.

A mitjanit va arribar el monjo

i ens va dir que havia de tancar el taüt.

My mother asked us to feel her hand.

La meva mare va demanar-li que li toqués la mà.

She asked the monk,

Va preguntar al monjo,

"Why is it that her hand is so warm and the rest of her is so cold?"

"Com és que la seva mà és tan calenta

i la resta del cos tan fred?"

"Because you have been holding it since this morning," he said.

"Perquè la hi heu agafat des d'aquest matí", va respondre.

"You have not let it go."

"No l'heu deixada anar."

If there is a sinew in our family, it runs through the women.

Si hi ha una connexió en la nostra família,

és la que passa per les dones.

A partir de qui érem i com la vida ens havia transformat,

Given who we were and how life had shaped us,

ara podem veure

we can now see that the men that might have come into our lives

que els homes a les nostres vides

would have thwarted us.

ens haguessin fet fracassar.

Defeat would have come too easily.

La derrota hagués estat massa fàcil.

Now I would like to have my own children, and I wonder about the boat.

Ara m'agradaria tenir els meus propis fills,

i penso en el vaixell.

Qui podria mai desitjar això?

Who could ever wish it on their own?

Encara tinc por al privilegi,

Yet I am afraid of privilege,

de la comoditat,

of ease,

of entitlement.

del dret.

Can I give them a bow in their lives, dipping bravely into each wave,

Puc posar una proa a la seva vida,

que es submergeix a cada onada,

the unperturbed and steady beat of the engine,

la marxa continua i immutable del motor,

l'immens horitzó

the vast horizon that guarantees nothing?

que no garanteixen res?

No ho sé.

I don't know.

Però si pogués fer-ho

But if I could give it

and still see them safely through,

i conservar la seva seguretat,

ho faria.

I would.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)

Trevor Neilson: La mare de la Tan també és aquí avui

Trevor Neilson: And also, Tan's mother is here today,

a la quarta o cinquena fila.

in the fourth or fifth row.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)