How to manage your emotions

Prevodilac: Milena Radovanović Lektor: Milenka Okuka

You and your friend need to ace Friday’s exam to avoid summer classes,

Vi i vaš prijatelj treba da pokidate test u petak da biste izbegli letnje časove,

and after a week of studying, you both feel confident that you pulled it off.

i nakon nedelju dana učenja, oboje se osećate samouverenim da ste uspeli.

But when you get your grades back,

Ali kada dobijete ocene nazad,

they’re much lower than the two of you expected.

mnogo su niže nego što ste oboje očekivali.

You’re devastated.

Osećate se poraženim.

However, your friend doesn't seem too bothered,

Ipak, vaš drug ne izgleda kao da ga to muči

and it's making you wonder why you can't shake this off like they can.

i zbog toga se pitaš zašto ne možeš da prebrodiš ovo kao on.

But should you really be trying to look on the bright side?

Ali, da li stvarno treba da gledaš ovo s vedrije strane?

And is controlling our emotions even possible in the first place?

I da li je kontrolisanje naših emocija uopšte moguće na prvom mestu?

The answer to the last question is a definitive “yes.”

Odgovor na poslednje pitanje je definitivno “da”.

There are numerous strategies for regulating our emotions,

Postoji veliki broj strategija za regulisanje naših emocija,

and one framework to understand these techniques is called the Process Model.

a jedan od okvira za razumevanje ovih tehnika je procesni model.

Psychologists use this tool to identify where and how to intervene

Psiholozi koriste tu alatku da identifikuju gde i kako da intervenišu

in the process that forms our emotions.

u procesu koji stvara naše emocije.

That process has four steps:

Taj proces ima četiri koraka:

first, we enter a situation, real or imagined,

prvi, ulazimo u situaciju, stvarnu ili izmišljenu,

and that draws our attention.

a koja privlači našu pažnju.

Then we evaluate, or appraise, the situation

Onda ocenjujemo i procenjujemo situaciju da bismo videli

and whether it helps or hinders our goals.

da li pomaže ili ometa naše ciljeve.

Finally, this appraisal leads to a set of changes in how we feel, think, and behave,

Konačno, ova procena vodi ka promenama u tome kako se osećamo, mislimo i ponašamo,

known as an emotional response.

što je poznatije kao emocionalni odgovor.

Each step of this process offers an opportunity to consciously intervene

Svaki korak u ovom procesu nudi priliku da svesno intervenišemo

and change our emotions,

i promenimo naše emocije,

and the Process Model outlines what strategies we might try at each phase.

a procesni model skicira strategije koje bismo mogli koristiti u svakoj fazi.

To see this in action, let’s imagine you’ve been invited to the same party

Da bismo videli ovo na primeru, hajde da zamislimo da ste pozvani na istu žurku

as your least-favorite ex and their new partner.

kao i vaš neomiljeni bivši i njegov ili njen novi partner.

Your first strategy could be avoiding the situation altogether

Vaša prva strategija bi mogla biti izbegavanje cele situacije

by skipping the party.

time što ćete preskočiti zabavu.

But if you do attend, you could also try modifying the situation

Ali ako se pojavite, možete takođe probati da izmenite situaciju

by choosing not to interact with your ex.

tako što ćete izabrati da ne interagujete sa bivšim.

If that’s proving difficult, you might want to shift your attention,

Ako se to pokaže teškim, možda biste mogli da preusmerite pažnju

maybe by playing a game with your friends

igranjem društvenih igrica sa prijateljima

rather than focusing on your ex’s new partner.

radije nego da mislite na tog novog partnera.

Another option would be to re-evaluate how you think about the situation.

Druga opcija bi bila reevaluacija vašeg razmišljanja o situaciji.

After seriously reappraising things,

Posle ozbiljnog procenjivanja stvari,

you might realize that you don’t care who your ex dates.

možda shvatite da vas ne zanima s kim izlazi vaš bivši.

If none of these strategies work,

Ako ništa od ovog ne upali,

you can always try tempering your emotional response after the fact.

uvek možete pokušati da ublažite vašu emocionalnu reakciju naknadno.

But this can be tricky.

Međutim, ovo može biti varljivo.

Many of the easiest ways to do this,

Mnogi od lakiših načina da uradite ovo,

like hiding your emotions or trying to change them with recreational drugs,

kao što su sakrivanje emocija ili pokušaj njihove promene rekreativnim drogama,

generally lead to more negative feelings and health concerns in the long term.

generalno vode ka negativnijim osećajima i zdravstvenim brigama u dužem periodu.

More sustainable strategies here include going for a long walk,

Održivije strategije ovde uključuju odlazak u dugu šetnju,

taking slow, deep breaths, or talking with someone in your support system.

duboke i spore uzdahe ili pričanje sa nekim iz vašeg sistema podrške.

While using all these strategies well takes practice,

Dok je za upotrebu ovih strategija potrebna vežba,

learning to notice your emotions

naučiti da primetite vaše emocije

and reflect on where they’re coming from is half the battle.

i da razmislite o tome odakle dolaze pola je bitke.

And once you’ve truly internalized that you can regulate your emotions,

A jednom kada ste zaista ovladali regulacijom vaših emocija,

doing so becomes much easier.

svaki sledeći put će da vam bude lakše.

But should you use these techniques to constantly maintain a good mood?

Ali da li bi trebalo koristiti ove tehnike da stalno zadržimo dobro raspoloženje?

That answer depends on how you define what makes a mood “good.”

Taj odgovor zavisi od toga kako definišete šta čini raspoloženje “dobrim”.

It's tempting to think we should always try to avoid sadness and frustration,

Primamljivo je misliti da uvek treba da izbegavamo tugu i frustraciju,

but no emotion is inherently good or bad—

ali nijedna emocija nije sama po sebi dobra ili loša,

they’re either helpful or unhelpful depending on the situation.

one ili pomažu ili ne, zavisno od situacije.

For example, if a friend is telling you about the loss of a loved one,

Na primer, ako vam prijatelj priča o gubitku voljene osobe,

feeling and expressing sadness isn’t just appropriate,

osećaj i izražavanje tuge nisu samo prikladni,

it can help you empathize and support them.

već i pomažu da osetite empatiju i podržite prijatelja.

Conversely, while it’s unhealthy to regularly ignore your emotions,

Obrnuto, dok je nezdravo da stalno ignorišete vaše emocije,

forcing a smile to get through a one-time annoyance is perfectly reasonable.

osmehivanje na silu zbog kratkotrajne neprijatnosti je sasvim razumno.

We hear a lot of mixed messages about emotions.

Čujemo puno pomešanih signala o emocijama.

Some pressure us to stay upbeat

Neki nas pritiskaju da budemo optimistični,

while others tell us to simply take our emotions as they come.

dok nam drugi govore da prosto pihvatimo emocije kao takve.

But in reality, each person has to find their own balance.

Ali zapravo, svaka osoba mora da pronađe svoju ravnotežu.

So if the question is: “should you always try to be happy?”

Dakle, ako je pitanje: da li uvek treba da se trudite da budete srećni?

The answer is no.

Odgovor je ne.

Studies suggest that people fixated on happiness

Studije kažu da ljudi koji su fiksirani na sreću

often experience secondary negative emotions,

često iskuse sekundarne negativne emocije,

like guilt,

kao što je krivica,

or frustration over being upset,

ili frustracija zbog uznemirenosti

and disappointment that they don't feel happier.

i razočaranje što se ne osećaju srećnijima.

This doesn't mean you should let sadness or anger take over.

Ovo ne znači da treba da pustite tugu ili bes da preovladaju.

But strategies like reappraisal can help you re-evaluate

Preispitivanje kao strategija može da pomogne u ponovnom ocenjivanju

your thoughts about a situation,

vaših misli o situaciji,

allowing you to accept that you feel sad

i da vam dozvoli da prihvatite tugu

and cultivate hope that things will get better.

i da negujete nadu da će biti bolje.