How to manage your emotions

Translator: Sevara Pulatova Reviewer: Nazarbek Nazarov

You and your friend need to ace Friday’s exam to avoid summer classes,

Siz va o’rtog’ingiz juma kungi imtihonni yozgi darslarda qatnashmaslik uchun zo’r

and after a week of studying, you both feel confident that you pulled it off.

topshirishingiz kerak va bir hafta tayyor- garlikdan so’ng o’zingizda ishonch sezasiz

But when you get your grades back,

Ammo baholarni ko’rganingizda,

they’re much lower than the two of you expected.

ikkalangiz kutgandan ham ancha past bo’ladi.

You’re devastated.

Siz tushkunlikka

However, your friend doesn't seem too bothered,

tushasiz ammo do’stingiz uncha bezovta bo’lmaydi

and it's making you wonder why you can't shake this off like they can.

va bu nega ulardek qo’l siltay olmadim deb o’ylashga majbur qiladi.

But should you really be trying to look on the bright side?

Ammo siz buning yaxshi tomoniga qarashingiz kerak emasmi?

And is controlling our emotions even possible in the first place?

Va his-tuyg’ularingizni boshqarish birinchi o’rinda emasmi?

The answer to the last question is a definitive “yes.”

Oxirgi savolning javobi “ha”.

There are numerous strategies for regulating our emotions,

Tuyg’ularimizni nazorat qilish uchun turli strategiyalar bor,

and one framework to understand these techniques is called the Process Model.

bu texnikalarni tushunib olish Jarayon Modeli deyiladi.

Psychologists use this tool to identify where and how to intervene

Psixologlar, bu qurolni bizning qachon qanday tuyg’ularimiz jarayonning qayerida

in the process that forms our emotions.

hosil bo’lishini aniqlash uchun ishlatadilar.

That process has four steps:

Bu jarayon 4 ta qadamdan iborat:

first, we enter a situation, real or imagined,

birinchi, biz real yoki tasavvuriy olamda e’tiborimizni tortadigan

and that draws our attention.

bir holatga tushamiz.

Then we evaluate, or appraise, the situation

Keyin biz vaziyatni baholaymiz va maqsadlarimizga

and whether it helps or hinders our goals.

erishish uchun yordam beradimi yoki yo’q

Finally, this appraisal leads to a set of changes in how we feel, think, and behave,

Nihoyat, bu baholash bizning his qilishimizga, o’ylashimizga va o’zimizni

known as an emotional response.

tutishimizga ta’sir qiladi.

Each step of this process offers an opportunity to consciously intervene

Har bitta qadam bizga o’zimizni himoya qilishga va tuyg’ularimizni

and change our emotions,

o’zartirishga imkoniyat yaratadi

and the Process Model outlines what strategies we might try at each phase.

va Jarayon Modeli har bir fazada qanday texnika ishlatish kerakligini anglatadi.

To see this in action, let’s imagine you’ve been invited to the same party

Buni amalda ko’rish uchun, tasavvur qiling siz eng yoqtirmagan sobiq o’rtog’iz va

as your least-favorite ex and their new partner.

uning yangi o’rtog’i bilan bir xil bazmga taklif qilindingiz.

Your first strategy could be avoiding the situation altogether

Sizning birinchi strategiyangiz bu bu bazmni

by skipping the party.

o’tkazib yuborishdir.

But if you do attend, you could also try modifying the situation

Agar siz qatnashsangiz ham siz vaziyatni sobiq o’rtog’ingizga gapirmaslik

by choosing not to interact with your ex.

orqali yumshatishingiz mumkin.

If that’s proving difficult, you might want to shift your attention,

Agar bu ham qiyin bo’lsa siz diqqatingizni chalg’itish uchun

maybe by playing a game with your friends

o’rtoqlaringiz bilan raqs tushib

rather than focusing on your ex’s new partner.

unga ahamiyat bermasligingiz mumkin.

Another option would be to re-evaluate how you think about the situation.

Yana bitta usuli bu jarayonni qaytadan baholab ko’rishdir.

After seriously reappraising things,

Barcha narsani yaxshilab baholagandan

you might realize that you don’t care who your ex dates.

so’ng sobiq o’rtog’ingiz nima qilishi sizga qiziq bo’lmay qoladi.

If none of these strategies work,

Hech qaysi strategiya ish bermasa,

you can always try tempering your emotional response after the fact.

siz o’tganidan so’ng tuzatishga harakat qilishingiz mumkin.

But this can be tricky.

Ammo chalg’ituvchi

Many of the easiest ways to do this,

bo’lishi mumkin. Eng oson yo’li

like hiding your emotions or trying to change them with recreational drugs,

undan ham ko’p muddatga olib boruvchi yomon salbiy hissiyotlarga

generally lead to more negative feelings and health concerns in the long term.

his-tuyg’ularni yashirish yoki o’zgatirish orqali duchor bo’lish.

More sustainable strategies here include going for a long walk,

Yanada barqaror strategiyalar uzoq sayrga chiqish,

taking slow, deep breaths, or talking with someone in your support system.

asta,chuqur nafas olish yoki quvvatlovchi kishi bilan gaplashishdir.

While using all these strategies well takes practice,

Aytib o’tilgan barcha strategiyalar amaliyot so’rasa ham,

learning to notice your emotions

o’z hissiyotlarni sezishingiz,

and reflect on where they’re coming from is half the battle.

qayerdan kelayotganini aniqlash yarim yo’lda ekanligingizdur.

And once you’ve truly internalized that you can regulate your emotions,

Siz hissiyotlaringizni boshqarishni o’rganganingizdan so’ng

doing so becomes much easier.

bu ishlarni qilish ancha yengillashadi.

But should you use these techniques to constantly maintain a good mood?

Ammo siz har doim yaxshi kayfiyatda yurishingiz uchun texnika ishlatasizmi?

That answer depends on how you define what makes a mood “good.”

Bu sizning “yaxshi” kayfiyat qanday bo’lishini ta’riflashingizga bog’liq.

It's tempting to think we should always try to avoid sadness and frustration,

Biz har doim qo’rquv yoki hayronlikdan qochishga harakat qilishimiz,

but no emotion is inherently good or bad—

ammo ichimizda hech qanday tuyg’u bo’lmasa yaxshi yoki yomon-

they’re either helpful or unhelpful depending on the situation.

ularga vaziyatga qarab foydali yoki foydasiz bo’ladi.

For example, if a friend is telling you about the loss of a loved one,

Agar do’stingiz, sevganidan ayrilgani haqida gapirsa,

feeling and expressing sadness isn’t just appropriate,

xafa bo’lish nafaqat o’rinli

it can help you empathize and support them.

balki ularga kuch quvvat ham bo’ladi.

Conversely, while it’s unhealthy to regularly ignore your emotions,

Bunga zid ravishda, o’z hissiyotlaringizni doim mensimaslik nosog’lom bo’lishi,

forcing a smile to get through a one-time annoyance is perfectly reasonable.

kulish uchun majburlashingiz bu to’liq tushunarli.

We hear a lot of mixed messages about emotions.

Biz his-tuyg’ular haqida juda ko’p aralash xabarlar eshitamiz.

Some pressure us to stay upbeat

Ba’zilar optimist bo’lishga chorlasa,

while others tell us to simply take our emotions as they come.

qolganlar ular qanday bo’lsa o’shanday qabul qilish kerak deydi.

But in reality, each person has to find their own balance.

Ammo real hayotda, hamma o’zining muvozanatini topishi kerak.

So if the question is: “should you always try to be happy?”

Shunday ekan savol: “Siz har doim xursand bo’lishga harakat qilishingiz kerakmi?”

The answer is no.

Javobi yo’q.

Studies suggest that people fixated on happiness

O’rganishlar shuni ko’rsatadiki, doimiy xursand bo’lib yurish

often experience secondary negative emotions,

ikkilamchi salbiy his tuyg’ular masalan,

like guilt,

aybdorlik

or frustration over being upset,

yoki xafa bo’lishdan qo’rqish va o’zlarini xursand his

and disappointment that they don't feel happier.

qilmasalar xafa bo’lish kabilarni boshidan o’tkazadi.

This doesn't mean you should let sadness or anger take over.

Lekin xafagarchilik sizni boshqarishiga yo’l qo’yishiga

But strategies like reappraisal can help you re-evaluate

ruxsat berishingiz kerak degani emas.

your thoughts about a situation,

Ammo qayta baholash kabi strategiyalar

allowing you to accept that you feel sad

vaziyat haqida o’ylashga undaydi

and cultivate hope that things will get better.

va yaxshisi uchun umid qilishga chorlaydi.