How to manage your emotions

Translator: Laura Nogueiras Gómez Reviewer: Mario Cal

You and your friend need to ace Friday’s exam to avoid summer classes,

Ti e o teu amigo tedes que aprobar este exame para ter o verán libre.

and after a week of studying, you both feel confident that you pulled it off.

Logo de estudar toda a semana, estades seguros de que está aprobado.

But when you get your grades back,

Pero cando vos dan as notas,

they’re much lower than the two of you expected.

son moito máis baixas do que esperabades.

You’re devastated.

Vaia disgusto.

However, your friend doesn't seem too bothered,

Pola contra, ó teu amigo non parece importarlle moito.

and it's making you wonder why you can't shake this off like they can.

Por que será que a ti non che dá igual coma a el?

But should you really be trying to look on the bright side?

Deberías estar intentando verlle o lado positivo?

And is controlling our emotions even possible in the first place?

É posible sequera controlar as nosas emocións?

The answer to the last question is a definitive “yes.”

A resposta á última pregunta é un «si» rotundo.

There are numerous strategies for regulating our emotions,

Hai moitas estratexias para regularmos as emocións

and one framework to understand these techniques is called the Process Model.

e unha das bases para entendelas é o modelo procesual.

Psychologists use this tool to identify where and how to intervene

En psicoloxía, úsase esta técnica para identificar onde e como intervir

in the process that forms our emotions.

no proceso de formación de emocións.

That process has four steps:

Hai catro pasos:

first, we enter a situation, real or imagined,

primeiro, chegamos a unha situación, real ou imaxinada,

and that draws our attention.

que chama a nosa atención.

Then we evaluate, or appraise, the situation

Avaliamos e valoramos esta situación,

and whether it helps or hinders our goals.

e decidimos se nos axuda ou se nos prexudica.

Finally, this appraisal leads to a set of changes in how we feel, think, and behave,

Esta avaliación cambia como nos sentimos, pensamos e nos comportamos.

known as an emotional response.

Isto é a resposta emocional.

Each step of this process offers an opportunity to consciously intervene

Cada paso deste proceso ofrece a oportunidade de intervir

and change our emotions,

e cambiar as nosas emocións

and the Process Model outlines what strategies we might try at each phase.

e o modelo procesual recolle as estratexias que podemos usar.

To see this in action, let’s imagine you’ve been invited to the same party

Por exemplo, imaxina que te convidan a unha festa

as your least-favorite ex and their new partner.

onde tamén está o teu ex e a súa nova parella.

Your first strategy could be avoiding the situation altogether

A túa primeira estratexia podería ser evitar a situación

by skipping the party.

e non ir á festa.

But if you do attend, you could also try modifying the situation

Pero se acabas indo, tamén poderías cambiar a situación

by choosing not to interact with your ex.

se non interactúas co teu ex.

If that’s proving difficult, you might want to shift your attention,

Se non dás, cambia o foco da túa atención

maybe by playing a game with your friends

e céntrate nos teus amigos

rather than focusing on your ex’s new partner.

no canto de pensar na parella do teu ex.

Another option would be to re-evaluate how you think about the situation.

Outra opción sería redefinir a maneira de abordar a situación.

After seriously reappraising things,

Logo de pensalo seriamente,

you might realize that you don’t care who your ex dates.

poderías darte conta de que dá igual con quen estea o teu ex.

If none of these strategies work,

Se nada funciona,

you can always try tempering your emotional response after the fact.

sempre poderías regular a túa resposta emocional a posteriori.

But this can be tricky.

Que fácil non é.

Many of the easiest ways to do this,

As maneiras máis doadas de facelo,

like hiding your emotions or trying to change them with recreational drugs,

coma agochar as túas emocións ou cambialas con drogas,

generally lead to more negative feelings and health concerns in the long term.

adoitan provocar máis emocións negativas e problemas de saúde a longo prazo.

More sustainable strategies here include going for a long walk,

Hai estratexias máis sostibles, coma ir de paseo,

taking slow, deep breaths, or talking with someone in your support system.

técnicas de respiración ou falar con alguén achegado.

While using all these strategies well takes practice,

É necesario practicar para dominar estas estratexias,

learning to notice your emotions

mais recoñecer as túas emocións

and reflect on where they’re coming from is half the battle.

e saber de onde veñen é a metade do camiño.

And once you’ve truly internalized that you can regulate your emotions,

E unha vez internalizas a regulación das túas emocións,

doing so becomes much easier.

é moito máis doado facelo.

But should you use these techniques to constantly maintain a good mood?

Pero, deberías usar estas técnicas para estar sempre de bo humor?

That answer depends on how you define what makes a mood “good.”

Iso depende do que entendas por estar de «bo» humor.

It's tempting to think we should always try to avoid sadness and frustration,

É tentador pensar que deberiamos evitar a tristeza e a frustración,

but no emotion is inherently good or bad—

pero as emocións non son boas nin malas.

they’re either helpful or unhelpful depending on the situation.

Poden axudar ou non segundo a situación.

For example, if a friend is telling you about the loss of a loved one,

Por exemplo, se un amigo fala da perda dun ser querido,

feeling and expressing sadness isn’t just appropriate,

sentir e expresar tristeza é apropiado

it can help you empathize and support them.

e pode axudarte a empatizar con el.

Conversely, while it’s unhealthy to regularly ignore your emotions,

Pola contra, aínda que non é saudable evitar as túas emocións,

forcing a smile to get through a one-time annoyance is perfectly reasonable.

é totalmente normal finxir un sorriso de cando en vez.

We hear a lot of mixed messages about emotions.

Hai moita información contraditoria sobre as emocións.

Some pressure us to stay upbeat

Hai quen nos forza a estar alegres,

while others tell us to simply take our emotions as they come.

mentres que outros suxiren deixar fluír as emocións.

But in reality, each person has to find their own balance.

A verdade é que cada persoa debe atopar o seu equilibrio.

So if the question is: “should you always try to be happy?”

Se a pregunta é: «deberías intentar ser sempre feliz?»

The answer is no.

A resposta é non.

Studies suggest that people fixated on happiness

Hai estudos que suxiren que a xente obsesionada coa felicidade

often experience secondary negative emotions,

adoita sentir emocións secundarias negativas

like guilt,

coma culpabilidade,

or frustration over being upset,

frustración por anoxarse,

and disappointment that they don't feel happier.

e decepción, por non estar máis felices.

This doesn't mean you should let sadness or anger take over.

O que non significa que teñas que sentir só tristura ou enfado.

But strategies like reappraisal can help you re-evaluate

As estratexias de avaliación poden axudarte a aclarar

your thoughts about a situation,

o que pensas sobre unha situación,

allowing you to accept that you feel sad

a aceptar a tristeza que poidas sentir

and cultivate hope that things will get better.

e a alcanzar a esperanza de que todo vai mellorar.