How to spot a liar | Pamela Meyer | TED

Translator: Nazarbek Nazarov

Okay, now I don't want to alarm anybody in this room,

Xo'sh, mening bu zaldagilarni qo'rqitish niyatim yo'q, lekin

but it's just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar.

e'tiboringizni shunga qaratmoqchimanki,

o'ng tomoningizdagi inson — yolg'onchi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Also, the person to your left is a liar.

Va chap tomoningizdagi inson ham.

Also the person sitting in your very seats is a liar.

Xattoki, siz o'tirgan o'rindiqda o'tirgan inson ham

We're all liars.

— yolg'onchi. Biz hammamiz yolg'onchimiz.

What I'm going to do today

Va men bugun sizlarga tadqiqotlar

is I'm going to show you what the research says about why we're all liars,

bizni nega aldashimiz haqida nima deyishini, qanday qilib

how you can become a liespotter

yolg'onni aniqlash ustasi bo'lishingiz

and why you might want to go the extra mile

va aslida yaxshisi oldinga intilib, yolg'onni aniqlashdan ko'ra

and go from liespotting to truth seeking,

haqiqatni qidirish ekanligi, va nihoyat, ishonch atmosferasini

and ultimately to trust building.

yaratish madaniyati haqda so'zlab beraman.

Now, speaking of trust,

Aytancha, ishonch haqida gapirsak.

ever since I wrote this book, "Liespotting,"

"Yolg'onni fosh etish" kitobini yozganimdan beri, hech kim

no one wants to meet me in person anymore, no, no, no, no, no.

men bilan yuzma-yuz uchrashgisi kelmaydi, yo'q, yo'q, yo'q...

They say, "It's okay, we'll email you."

Ular deyishadi: "Yaxshi, siz bilan e-mail orqali bog'lanamiz".

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

I can't even get a coffee date at Starbucks.

Men xattoki hech kimni Starbaksga qahva ichishga taklif qilolmayman.

My husband's like, "Honey, deception?

Xatto erim ham: "Azizam, qanday yolg'on?

Maybe you could have focused on cooking. How about French cooking?"

Balki kulinariya bilan qiziqarsan? Fransuz oshxonasi, masalan."

So before I get started, what I'm going to do

Boshlashdan oldin men sizlarga aniq

is I'm going to clarify my goal for you,

maqsadimni aytishim kerakki, men sizlarga "mushuk-sichqon"

which is not to teach a game of Gotcha.

o'yinini o'rgatish niyatim yo'q.

Liespotters aren't those nitpicky kids,

Yolg'onni biluvchilar — yosh bola emas,

those kids in the back of the room that are shouting, "Gotcha! Gotcha!

ular "tutdimmi, fosh etdimmi!" deb baqirishmaydi.

Your eyebrow twitched. You flared your nostril.

Qovog'ingiz uchadi, burningizni "ishirasiz".

I watch that TV show 'Lie To Me.' I know you're lying."

TVda "Meni alda" degan shou bor. Sevib tomosha qilaman.

No, liespotters are armed

Yolg'on biluvchilar yolg'onni aniqlash

with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception.

borasidagi kerakli bilimlar bilan qurollangan. Ular bu bilimni

They use it to get to the truth,

haqiqatni bilish uchun qo'llashadi.

and they do what mature leaders do everyday;

Ular xuddi tajribali boshliqlar qiladigan

they have difficult conversations with difficult people,

ishni qilishadi: murakkab insonlar bilan muzokaralar qilishadi.

sometimes during very difficult times.

Va ba'zida bu juda qiyin kechadi.

And they start up that path by accepting a core proposition,

Ular bu yo'lni asosiy ma'lumotni

qabul qilishdan boshlashadi, u esa

and that proposition is the following:

quyidagicha jaranglaydi:

Lying is a cooperative act.

Yolg'on — birgalikda bajariladigan harakat.

O'ylab ko'ring, o'z-o'zidan yolg'on hech qanday kuchga ega emas, deyarli bo'sh gap.

Think about it, a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance.

Its power emerges

Va u faqatgina unga kimdir ishonishga

when someone else agrees to believe the lie.

rozi bo'lgandagina kuchga ega bo'ladi.

So I know it may sound like tough love,

Bilaman, bu shafqatsizlik yaxshilikdan

but look, if at some point you got lied to,

degandek eshitiladi. Lekin o'ylab ko'ring, qaysidir vaziyatda sizni aldashlari

it's because you agreed to get lied to.

siz aldanishga rozi bo'lganingizdek gap.

Truth number one about lying: Lying's a cooperative act.

Yolg'on haqida birinchi haqiqat: "Yolg'on bu birgalikda harakat"

Now not all lies are harmful.

Va hamma yolg'on ham zararli emas.

Sometimes we're willing participants in deception

Ba'zida biz o'zimiz yolg'onda ishtirok etamiz,

for the sake of social dignity,

insoniy qadr-qimmatni his etish yoki saqlab qolish uchun.

maybe to keep a secret that should be kept secret, secret.

Ba'zan esa sir qolishi kerak bo'lgan narsani yashirish uchun.

We say, "Nice song."

Biz aytamiz: "Yaxshi qo'shiq".

"Honey, you don't look fat in that, no."

"Azizam, yo'q, bu seni semiz qilib ko'rsatayotgani yo'q".

Or we say, favorite of the digiratti,

Yoki biz internet-elitaga taqlid qilib:

"You know, I just fished that email out of my Spam folder.

"Bilasanmi, bu xabarni men hozirgina men spamda ko'rib qoldim.

So sorry."

Uzr so'rayman".

But there are times when we are unwilling participants in deception.

Ba'zida o'zlarimiz istamay,

And that can have dramatic costs for us.

yolg'onda ishtirok etamiz. Va bu bizga qimmatga tushishi mumkin.

Last year saw 997 billion dollars

O'tgan yili korporativ qalloblik natijasida birgina

in corporate fraud alone in the United States.

AQSHning o'zi 997 milliard dollar yo'qotdi.

That's an eyelash under a trillion dollars.

Bu deyarli butun boshli trillion dollar.

That's seven percent of revenues.

Bu davlat daromadining 7%i.

Deception can cost billions.

Yolg'on milliardlar turishi mumkin.

Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis.

"Enron", Meddof, ipoteka inqirozlarini eslang.

Or in the case of double agents and traitors,

Yoki Robert Hansen, Oldrich Eyms kabi ikkiyoqlama agent va

like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames,

sotqinlar bilan bog'liq voqealarni eslang.

lies can betray our country,

Yolg'on orqali vatanga xiyonat qilish ham

they can compromise our security, they can undermine democracy,

mumkin, u bizni xavfga qo'yishi, tinchimizni buzishi va bizni

they can cause the deaths of those that defend us.

himoyalayotgan barcha narsani yemirishi mumkin.

Deception is actually serious business.

Yolg'on aslida jiddiy biznes ko'rinishiga ega.

This con man, Henry Oberlander, he was such an effective con man,

Genri Oberlender ismli firibgar,

shunday usta yolg'onchi ediki,

British authorities say

Britaniya rasmiylari fikricha, u butun

he could have undermined the entire banking system of the Western world.

G'arb bank sistemasini buzib yuborishi mumkin edi. Va siz uni

And you can't find this guy on Google; you can't find him anywhere.

Google orqali topa olmaysiz, siz uni hech

qayerdan topa olmaysiz. Undan intervyu olinganida shunday degan:

He was interviewed once, and he said the following.

"Bilasizmi, menda faqat bitta qoida bor".

He said, "Look, I've got one rule."

Genrining fikricha bu qoida shunday: "Qarang, har kim sizga

And this was Henry's rule, he said,

"Look, everyone is willing to give you something.

nimadir berishga tayyor. Insonlar sizga

They're ready to give you something for whatever it is they're hungry for."

nima bo'lsayam berishga tayyor, o'zlari olishni xohlayotgan

narsa evaziga". Savolning mazmuni shunda.

And that's the crux of it.

If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know,

Agar siz aldanib qolishni xohlamasangiz,

tushunishingiz kerakki: siz aynan nimani

what is it that you're hungry for?

And we all kind of hate to admit it.

ko'proq xohlaysiz. Va bizga buni tan olish umuman yoqmaydi.

We wish we were better husbands, better wives,

Biz eng yaxshi erkak, eng yaxshi ayol bo'lishni xohlaymiz,

smarter, more powerful, taller, richer --

aqlliroq bo'lishni, kuchlroq bo'lishni,

baland bo'yli, boy bo'lishni —

the list goes on.

va bu ro'yxat cheksiz.

Lying is an attempt to bridge that gap,

Yolg'on — bu faqat shu probellarni

to connect our wishes and our fantasies

to'ldirishga, kim bo'lishni xohlashimiz

about who we wish we were, how we wish we could be,

bilan bog'liq xohish-istaklarimiz va fantaziyalarimizni

with what we're really like.

reallik bilan birlashtirishga urinish. Afsuski, biz

And boy are we willing to fill in those gaps in our lives with lies.

hayotimizdagi shunday probellarni yolg'on bilan to'ldirishga

On a given day, studies show that you may be lied to

tayyormiz. Bir kun davomida, tadqiqotlarga ko'ra, sizga

anywhere from 10 to 200 times.

10 dan 200 martagacha yolg'on gapirishadi.

Now granted, many of those are white lies.

Aniqlanishicha, ularning ko'p qismi "oq" yolg'on.

But in another study,

Boshqa tadqiqotlar ko'rsatadiki, notanish

it showed that strangers lied three times

insonlar suhbatning ilk 10 daqiqasida

within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other.

bir-biriga uch marta yolg'on gapirishgan.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Now when we first hear this data, we recoil.

Va hozir, biz bu haqda eshitayotib daxshatga tushamiz. Yolg'on

We can't believe how prevalent lying is.

buncha ko'p uchrashiga ishona olmaymiz.

We're essentially against lying.

Tabiatan biz yolg'on gapirishga qarshimiz.

But if you look more closely, the plot actually thickens.

Lekin e'tibor bersak,

hammasi yanada nozik. Notanishlarga

We lie more to strangers than we lie to coworkers.

biz hamkasblarimizga nisbatan ko'proq yolg'on gapiramiz.

Extroverts lie more than introverts.

Ekstravertlar introvertlarga qaraganda ko'proq aldashadi.

Men lie eight times more about themselves than they do other people.

Erkaklar o'zi haqda boshqalar haqda aldagandan

sakkiz marta ko'proq aldaydi.

Women lie more to protect other people.

Ayollar esa ko'proq kimnidir himoya qilish uchun aldaydi.

If you're an average married couple,

Agar siz o'rtahol oilaviy juftlik bo'lsangiz,

you're going to lie to your spouse in one out of every 10 interactions.

siz bir-biringizga 1/10 miqdorda

yolg'on gapirasizlar.

Now, you may think that's bad.

Siz bu yomon deb o'ylashingiz mumkin.

If you're unmarried, that number drops to three.

Agar xali turmush qurmagan bo'lsangizlar,

Lying's complex.

bu ko'rsatkich 3/10. Yolg'on — murakkab.

It's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives.

U bizning kundalik hayotimiz va ishimiz bilan uzviy bog'liq.

We're deeply ambivalent about the truth.

Bu borada biz qarama-qarshilikka duch

We parse it out on an as-needed basis,

kelamiz. Biz uni muhim bo'lgandagina

sometimes for very good reasons,

ishlatamiz. Ezgu amallar bahonasi bilan.

other times just because we don't understand the gaps in our lives.

Ba'zida esa hayotimizdagi probellarni anglamayotganda.

That's truth number two about lying.

Va bu yolg'on haqidagi ikkinchi haqiqat.

We're against lying,

Biz yolg'onga qarshimiz,

but we're covertly for it

lekin qalbimiz tub-tubida biz u tomondamiz,

in ways that our society has sanctioned for centuries and centuries and centuries.

azaldan beri shunday bo'lib kelmoqda,

va hozir ham.

It's as old as breathing.

Yolg'on dunyo kabi qadimiydir.

It's part of our culture, it's part of our history.

U bizning tariximiz va madaniyatimizning

Think Dante, Shakespeare, the Bible, News of the World.

bir qismiga aylangan. Dante, Shekspir, Bibliya va

dunyo yangiliklarini esalang.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Lying has evolutionary value to us as a species.

Yolg'on biz uchun tur sifatida evolyutsion

Researchers have long known that the more intelligent the species,

ahamiyatga ega. Olimlar allaqachon

bilishadiki, tur qanchalik aqlli bo'lsa,

the larger the neocortex,

u turning miyasi shunchalik rivojlangan

the more likely it is to be deceptive.

va yolg'onga shu darajada moyil bo'ladi.

Now you might remember Koko.

Kokoni eslang.

Does anybody remember Koko the gorilla who was taught sign language?

Kimdir Kokoni eslaydimi? Imo-ishoralarga o'rgatilgan gorillani.

Koko was taught to communicate via sign language.

Kokoni imo-ishoralar orqali muloqot qilishga o'rgatishadi.

Here's Koko with her kitten.

Bu yerda esa biz Kokoni mushukcha bilan

It's her cute little, fluffy pet kitten.

ko'ryapmiz. Bu uning kichkinagina, sevimli mushukchasi.

Koko once blamed her pet kitten for ripping a sink out of the wall.

Koko bir kuni o'zini aybini mushukchaga

to'nkaydi, devordan uzilgan rakovina uchun.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

We're hardwired to become leaders of the pack.

Tabiat bizga liderlik xususiyatini bergan.

It's starts really, really early.

Va bu juda juda erta boshlangan.

How early?

Qanchalik erta?

Well babies will fake a cry,

Go'dak ba'zida yolg'ondan yig'lay oladi,

pause, wait to see who's coming

kim kelayotganini bilish uchun bir to'xtab

and then go right back to crying.

oladi va yana yig'lashda davom etishadi.

One-year-olds learn concealment.

Bir yoshdagi bolalar haqiqatni yashirishni

(Laughter)

o'rganishadi. (Kulgu)

Two-year-olds bluff.

Ikki yoshli go'dak esa aldashga urinadi.

Five-year-olds lie outright.

Besh yoshli esa qiynalmay yolg'on gapiradi.

They manipulate via flattery.

Atrofdagilarni maqtov bilan manipulyatsiya

Nine-year-olds, masters of the cover-up.

qiladi, 9 yoshda esa niqoblanish ustalariga aylanishadi.

By the time you enter college,

Kollejga kiradigan yoshga yetib esa

you're going to lie to your mom in one out of every five interactions.

siz onangizga 1/5 holatda aldashga tayyorsiz.

By the time we enter this work world and we're breadwinners,

Katta bo'lib, o'zimizni ta'minlash uchun ish dunyosiga kirgach,

we enter a world that is just cluttered with Spam, fake digital friends,

biz spamlarga to'la, soxta internet-

o'rtoqlarga, ig'vochi matbuotga,

partisan media,

ayyor shaxsiy ma'lumot o'g'rilariga,

ingenious identity thieves,

dunyo darajasidagi moliyaviy piramida

world-class Ponzi schemers,

quruvchilariga to'la,

a deception epidemic --

va yolg'on epidemiyasiga duchor bo'lgan,

in short, what one author calls a post-truth society.

bir gap bilan aytganda, bitta muallif

ataganidek "post-haqiqat jamiyati"ga duch keladi.

It's been very confusing for a long time now.

Bu azaldan beri bizni tushkunlikka soladi,

va bu hozirgacha davom etmoqda.

What do you do?

Xo'sh, biz nima qilishimiz kerak?

Well, there are steps we can take to navigate our way through the morass.

Bu loyqa yo'l orqali o'zimizga yo'l qurish

oldini olishi kerak bo'lgan qadamlar bor.

Trained liespotters get to the truth 90 percent of the time.

Yolg'on sezuvchi insonlar haqiqatga 90% holatda yetib boradi.

The rest of us, we're only 54 percent accurate.

Boshqalari haqda aytadigan bo'lsak, ular 54% holatdagina aniq.

Why is it so easy to learn?

Nega buni o'rganish shunchalik oson?

There are good liars and bad liars.

Yaxshi va yomon yolg'onchilar bor. Asl yolg'onchilar bo'lmaydi.

There are no real original liars.

Hammamiz bir xil xatolar qilamiz va bir xil texnikaga egamiz.

We all make the same mistakes. We all use the same techniques.

Hozir men sizlarga

So what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you two patterns of deception.

yolg'onning ikkita belgisini ko'rsataman.

And then we're going to look at the hot spots

Keyin "issiq nuqtalarini" ko'rib chiqamiz, mustaqil ravishda

and see if we can find them ourselves.

ularni topa olamizmi. Va biz mana bu nutqdan dan boshlaymiz.

We're going to start with speech.

(Video) Bill Clinton: I want you to listen to me.

(Video) Bill Klinton: Men sizlar meni

I'm going to say this again.

tinglashingizni xohlayman. Men yana bir bor

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

aytaman. Menda u ayol, miss Levinski bilan

jinsiy aloqa bo'lmagan. Men hech qachon hech

I never told anybody to lie, not a single time, never.

kimni yolg'on gapirishga majburlamaganman,

biror marta ham, hech qachon.

And these allegations are false.

Va bu isibotsiz ayblovlar adolatsizdir. Va men ishga qaytishim

And I need to go back to work for the American people.

kerak, barcha amerikaliklar uchun.

Thank you.

Rahmat.

(Applause)

Pamela Meyer: Okay, what were the telltale signs?

Pamela Meyer: Yaxshi, qayerda yolg'on belgilari bor?

Well first we heard what's known as a non-contracted denial.

Birinchi navbatda biz mutlaqo inkorni eshitdik.

Studies show that people who are overdetermined in their denial

Tadqiqotlar ko'rsatadiki, inkor etish bilan band insonlar

will resort to formal rather than informal language.

norasmiyga qaraganda ko'proq rasmiy tilda gapirishadi.

We also heard distancing language: "that woman."

Biz shuningdek, uzoqlashish tiliga guvoh bo'ldik: "u ayol".

We know that liars will unconsciously distance themselves

Biz bilamizki, yolg'onchilar ongsiz holda

from their subject,

o'zlarini obyektdan ma'lum bir masofaga

using language as their tool.

olishadi, buni qurol sifatida ishlatishga urinib.

Now if Bill Clinton had said, "Well, to tell you the truth ..."

Agar Bill Klinton nutqini: "Xo'sh, to'g'risini aytganda..." yoki

or Richard Nixon's favorite, "In all candor ..."

Niksonning iborasi: "Butun samimiyat bilan"

he would have been a dead giveaway

deb boshlaganda, bu so'zlar aldov sezuvchi

for any liespotter that knows

har bir inson uchun rad etib bo'lmaydigan

that qualifying language, as it's called, qualifying language like that,

dalil bo'lgan bo'lar edi. Bu kabi kvalifikatsion til,

further discredits the subject.

yanada ko'proq shubha uyg'otadi.

Now if he had repeated the question in its entirety,

Agar u savolini takrorlaganida, to'liq holida,

or if he had peppered his account with a little too much detail --

yoki nutqini tafsilotlar bilan bo'yaganida, u bu ishni

and we're all really glad he didn't do that --

qilmaganidan xursandmizki, u o'zini

he would have further discredited himself.

yanada obro'sizlantirgan bo'lar edi.

Freud had it right.

Freyd haq edi. Freyd haqiqatdan ham

Freud said, look, there's much more to it than speech:

muhimroq gapni aytgan: "Birorta ham shunday jonzot yo'qki,

"No mortal can keep a secret.

sirlarni saqlay oladigan. Xattoki til gapirmasa ham, lablar

If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips."

qimirlamasa ham, barmoq uchlari gapiradi". Biz qanchalik

And we all do it no matter how powerful you are.

o'zimizni boshqara olishimizdan qat'iy nazar hammamizda shunday.

We all chatter with our fingertips.

Biz aslida barmoq uchlari bilan gapiramiz.

I'm going to show you Dominique Strauss-Kahn with Obama

Hozir men sizga Dominik Strauss-Kanni ko'rsataman, Barak Obama

who's chattering with his fingertips.

bilan, ularning barmoq uchlari bilan gaplashayotganini.

(Laughter)

(Kulgu)

Now this brings us to our next pattern, which is body language.

Xo'sh, bu bizni keyingi belgiga olib keladi,

u tana tili deyiladi. Bunga to'xtalsak,

With body language, here's what you've got to do.

mana siz uni qanday ishlatishingiz kerak. Kallangizdagi barcha

You've really got to just throw your assumptions out the door.

tahminlarni chiqarib tashlashingiz kerak bo'ladi. Ilm-fanga

Let the science temper your knowledge a little bit.

yuzlanib bilimlarimizni kuchaytirib olamiz.

Because we think liars fidget all the time.

Chunki bizning fikrimizcha, yolg'onchilar doim asabiylashadi.

Well guess what, they're known to freeze their upper bodies when they're lying.

Aslida ular aldaganda tashqi belgilarni muzlatishni bilishadi.

O'ylaymizki, ular ko'zga tik qaramaslikni afzal bilishadi.

We think liars won't look you in the eyes.

Well guess what, they look you in the eyes a little too much

Ular aldayotib ko'zingizga tik qarashadi,

odatdagidan ham uzoqroq, ishontirish uchun.

just to compensate for that myth.

We think warmth and smiles convey honesty, sincerity.

Biz o'ylaymizki, suhbatdoshning

samimiyligi va tabassumi

But a trained liespotter can spot a fake smile a mile away.

to'g'rilik va samimiyatni anglatadi deb.

Lekin yolg'on aniqlashga usta inson bir

Can you all spot the fake smile here?

mil' naridagi yolg'on tabassumni ko'ra oladi. Bu yerda soxta

You can consciously contract the muscles in your cheeks.

tabassumni aniqlay oladiganlar bormi?

Siz keragicha yanoq mushaklarini qisqartirishingiz mumkin.

But the real smile's in the eyes, the crow's feet of the eyes.

Lekin chin tabassum ko'zlarda va atrofidagi ajinlardan bilinadi.

They cannot be consciously contracted,

Undagi mushaklarni xohlagancha qisqartirib

especially if you overdid the Botox.

bo'lmaydi, ayniqsa sizda boteks bo'lsa.

Don't overdo the Botox; nobody will think you're honest.

Boteksga unchalik berilmang, aks holda sizga hech kim ishonmay

Now we're going to look at the hot spots.

qo'yadi. Endi esa issiq nuqtalarga o'tamiz.

Can you tell what's happening in a conversation?

Bu suhbatda nima bo'layotganini aytib bera

Can you start to find the hot spots

olasizmi? So'zlar va harakatlar bir-biri bilan to'g'ri

to see the discrepancies

kelmaydigan holatlarni qidirgan holda

between someone's words and someone's actions?

issiq nuqtalarni qidira olasizmi? Bilaman,

Now, I know it seems really obvious,

bu oddiy ko'rinadi, lekin siz yolg'onda

but when you're having a conversation with someone you suspect of deception,

shubha qilayotgan inson bilan o'zingiz

gaplashayotganingizda sizning u insonga munosabatingiz

attitude is by far the most overlooked but telling of indicators.

yolg'on-rost aniqlashini og'irlashtiradi.

An honest person is going to be cooperative.

Rostgo'y inson hamkorlik qiladi.

They're going to show they're on your side.

U siz tomoningizda ekanini ko'rsatishga

They're going to be enthusiastic.

harakat qiladi. Shijoatga to'la bo'ladi.

They're going to be willing and helpful to getting you to the truth.

Haqiqatni qidirishda yordam berishga

tayyorligini bildiradi. Muammoni yechishda aloqada bo'lishga,

They're going to be willing to brainstorm, name suspects,

shubhalari bilan ulashishga tayyor bo'ladi.

provide details.

They're going to say,

U deydi: "Qara, cheklarni ishchilar

"Hey, maybe it was those guys in payroll that forged those checks."

shtatidagi yigitlar sohtalashtirgan bo'lishi ham mumkin".

They're going to be infuriated if they sense they're wrongly accused

Undan sababsiz shubha qilinayotganini bilganda, jahli chiqadi,

throughout the entire course of the interview, not just in flashes;

butun intervyu davomida, har onda bir emas.

U butun intervyu davomida g'azabda bo'ladi. Va agar

they'll be infuriated throughout the entire course of the interview.

siz kimdandir pullarni soxtalashtirgan

And if you ask someone honest

insonlarni qanday jazolash haqda fikrini so'rasangiz,

what should happen to whomever did forge those checks,

rostgo'y inson katta ehtimol bilan,

an honest person is much more likely

eng qattiqqo'l jazoni aytadi, yengilidan ko'ra. Endi keling faraz qilaylik,

to recommend strict rather than lenient punishment.

Now let's say you're having that exact same conversation

yolg'onchi inson bilan aniq bir narsa

with someone deceptive.

haqida gaplashayapsiz. Bu inson yopilib

That person may be withdrawn,

qolishi mumkin, oyog'i ostiga qarashi,

look down, lower their voice,

pichirlab gapirishi, to'xtab qolishi,

pause, be kind of herky-jerky.

taktsiz bo'lishi mumkin. Yolg'onchidan

Ask a deceptive person to tell their story,

o'zining tarixini so'zlab berishni so'rang,

they're going to pepper it with way too much detail

va u hikoyasini keraksiz, aloqador bo'lmagan detallarga

in all kinds of irrelevant places.

to'ldirib tashlaydi. Undan tashqari, u hikoyasini aniq

And then they're going to tell their story in strict chronological order.

xronologik tartibda aytib beradi. Tajribali tergovchilar

And what a trained interrogator does

bir necha soatlab vaqt davomida shoshmasdan

is they come in and in very subtle ways over the course of several hours,

tafsilotlarga chuqur kirib borishadi.

Keyin esa tergov qilinuvchidan shu hikoyani

they will ask that person to tell that story backwards,

teskari tartibda aytib berishni so'rashadi. Va qanday

and then they'll watch them squirm,

asabiylashayotganining guvohi bo'lishadi,

and track which questions produce the highest volume of deceptive tells.

shu tarzda aynan qaysi savollar uni aldashga majbur qilganini

Why do they do that? Well, we all do the same thing.

bilib olishadi. Ular nega shunday qiladi? Menimcha hammamiz

We rehearse our words,

bir xilmiz. Biz nutqimizni mashq qilamiz

but we rarely rehearse our gestures.

lekin imo-ishoralarimizni deyarli mashq

We say "yes," we shake our heads "no."

qilmaymiz. Biz "xa" deymiz, lekin boshimiz

We tell very convincing stories, we slightly shrug our shoulders.

"yo'q" deb ishora qiladi. Biz juda ishonarli hikoylarni aytamiz

We commit terrible crimes,

va ozgina yelkamizni qisib qo'yamiz.

and we smile at the delight in getting away with it.

Biz og'ir jinoyat qilib qo'yamizda, keyin jilmayamiz, suvdan

Now, that smile is known in the trade as "duping delight."

quruq chiqishni o'ylab. Savdoda bunaqa tabassum "ahmoq qildim"

And we're going to see that in several videos moving forward,

deb nomlanadi. Hozir biz bu videoda shuning guvohi bo'lamiz.

but we're going to start -- for those of you who don't know him,

Boshladik, bu insonni bilmaydiganlar uchun

— AQSH prezidentligiga nomzod Jon Edvards, nikohsiz farzandning

this is presidential candidate John Edwards

who shocked America by fathering a child out of wedlock.

otasi bo'lib butun Amerikani hayron qoldirgan. Biz hozir uning

We're going to see him talk about getting a paternity test.

otalik genetik analizi o'tkazish haqidagi suhbatini kuzatamiz.

See now if you can spot him saying, "yes" while shaking his head "no,"

Kuzating, siz uni fosh eta olasizmi?

Xa deyayotib, u boshi bilan "yo'q" deyapti,

slightly shrugging his shoulders.

yelkalarini ozgina qisib qo'ygan holda.

(Video) John Edwards: I'd be happy to participate in one.

Jon Edvards: Men bunda qatnashishdan mamnun

I know that it's not possible that this child could be mine,

bo'lgan bo'lar edim. Men bilamanki, bu go'dak meniki bo'lishi

because of the timing of events.

mumkin emas, agar muddatini hisobga olsak.

So I know it's not possible.

Men aniq bilaman, buning iloji yo'q. Men bu

Happy to take a paternity test, and would love to see it happen.

testdan o'tishdan baxtiyor bo'lar edim va

uning natijasini ko'rib hursand bo'lardim.

Interviewer: Are you going to do that soon? Is there somebody --

Jurnalist: Va siz buni tez orada qilasizmi? Kimdir...

JE: Well, I'm only one side. I'm only one side of the test.

Jon Edvards: Bilasizmi, men bu testning bir tomoniman xolos.

But I'm happy to participate in one.

Lekin men bunda qatnashishdan hursand bo'lgan bo'lar edim.

Pamela: Agar siz bu yerda nima izlashni

PM: Okay, those head shakes are much easier to spot

bilsangiz, aynan bosh harakatlaridan bilish

once you know to look for them.

osonligini bilasiz. Vaqti-vaqti bilan

There are going to be times when someone makes one expression

insonning yuzi bir xil ifoda ko'rsatadi,

aslida boshqa ifodani niqoblagan va onda-sonda ko'ringan holda.

while masking another that just kind of leaks through in a flash.

Murderers are known to leak sadness.

Ma'lumki, qotillarni qayg'u fosh etadi.

Your new joint venture partner might shake your hand,

Yangi biznes-sherigingiz siz bilan qo'l

celebrate, go out to dinner with you and then leak an expression of anger.

tashlashi mumkin, siz bilan ovqatlanishi,

va birdan g'azab belgilarini sezib qolishi mumkin.

And we're not all going to become facial expression experts overnight here,

Biz bir kechada yuz ifodalari bo'yicha ekspert bo'lib qolmasmiz,

but there's one I can teach you that's very dangerous

lekin bir narsa borki, men sizga buni oson o'rgata olaman.

and it's easy to learn,

Bu nafrat ifodasi. Gap g'azab haqda ketganda,

and that's the expression of contempt.

Now with anger, you've got two people on an even playing field.

biz buni bir xil sharoyitda turgan ikkita insonning ishi deymiz.

It's still somewhat of a healthy relationship.

Bu sog'lom munosabatlarga o'xshaydi.

But when anger turns to contempt, you've been dismissed.

Lekin agar g'azab nafratga aylansa,

siz hisobdan o'chirilasiz.

It's associated with moral superiority.

Nafrat axloqiy ustunlik bilan bog'liqdir.

And for that reason, it's very, very hard to recover from.

Va shu sabab undan qutulish juda ham qiyin.

Here's what it looks like.

Mana u nimaga o'xshaydi.

It's marked by one lip corner pulled up and in.

Nafratda shunday lab burchaklari bo'ladi,

sal ko'tarilgan va orqaga tortilgan.

It's the only asymmetrical expression.

Bu assimetrik yuz ifodasi xolos. Agar nafrat mavjud bo'lsa va

And in the presence of contempt, whether or not deception follows --

uning ortida yolg'on yashiringan bo'lishiga

qaramay, odatda ular nafratli

and it doesn't always follow --

munosabatlarda yonma-yon kelmaydi,

look the other way, go the other direction,

belgilarni boshqa tomondan qidiring,

reconsider the deal,

bitimni ko'rib chiqing,

say, "No thank you. I'm not coming up for just one more nightcap. Thank you."

shunday deng: "Yo'q, rahmat. Menimcha shu joyida to'xtaymiz. Rahmat".

Science has surfaced many, many more indicators.

Fan tomonidan

juda ko'p indikatorlar aniqlangan.

We know, for example,

Masalan, biz bilamizki, aldayotgan insonda

we know liars will shift their blink rate,

ko'z ochib-yumish chastotasi o'zgaradi,

point their feet towards an exit.

oyoqlari esa chiqish tomonga qarab turadi.

They will take barrier objects

Ular turli metodlarni qo'llashadi,

and put them between themselves and the person that is interviewing them.

to'siq sifatida ularni o'zi va suhbatdoshi orasiga qo'yadi.

They'll alter their vocal tone,

Ular ovoz tonini o'zgartirishadi,

often making their vocal tone much lower.

odatda, uni sal tushirgan holda.

Now here's the deal.

Endi esa — eng muhimi.

These behaviors are just behaviors.

Bunday harakat — oddiy bir harakat xolos.

They're not proof of deception.

Uni yolg'onning isboti deyish mumkin emas.

They're red flags.

Bu qizil bayroqchalar. Hammamiz insonmiz.

We're human beings.

Kun davomida hammamiz yolg'on haqida xabar

We make deceptive flailing gestures all over the place all day long.

beruvchi turliv ishoralar qilamiz. Yakka holda ular ko'p narsa

They don't mean anything in and of themselves.

anglatmaydi. Lekin siz bunday belgilarning

But when you see clusters of them, that's your signal.

juda ko'pini bir vaqtda ko'rsangiz, bu sizga signal bo'lishi

Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions,

kerak. Kuzating, yaxshilab tinglang, qiyin savollar bering va

get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing,

oson o'rganish rejimini tark eting, qiziquvchanlik rejimiga

walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions,

o'ting, ko'proq savollar bering, shaxsiy qadr-qimmatingizni

have a little dignity, treat the person you're talking to with rapport.

saqlab qoling, suhbatdosh bilan o'zaro tushinishga erishing.

Don't try to be like those folks on "Law & Order" and those other TV shows

O'z o'ljasini tan olishga majburlaydigan "Qonun va tartib" kabi

TV-shoulardagilardek bo'lishga intilmang.

that pummel their subjects into submission.

Haddan ortiq agressiv bo'lmang, bu ishlamaydi.

Don't be too aggressive, it doesn't work.

Demak, biz yolg'onchi bilan qanday muloqot

Now, we've talked a little bit about how to talk to someone who's lying

qilish kerakligi va qanday uni fosh etish

and how to spot a lie.

mumkinligi haqda biroz gaplashib oldik.

And as I promised, we're now going to look at what the truth looks like.

Va'da qilganimdek, endi rost nimaga o'xshashini ko'rib chiqamiz.

But I'm going to show you two videos,

Sizga ikki videoni ko'rsatishni xohlayman,

two mothers -- one is lying, one is telling the truth.

biri rost, biri yolg'on gapirayotgan ikkita onani.

And these were surfaced by researcher David Matsumoto in California.

Bu roliklar Kaliforniyalik tadqiqotchi

Devid Matsumoto tomonidan o'rganilgan.

And I think they're an excellent example of what the truth looks like.

Va menimcha, ular haqiqat nimaga o'xshash

ekanligining yorqin misoli bo'la oladi.

This mother, Diane Downs,

Bu ona Dian Dauns, u o'z bolalarini

shot her kids at close range,

masofadan otib tashlagan, ularni

drove them to the hospital while they bled all over the car,

shifoxonaga olib borgan, ular mashinada

qonga botib yotgan bir paytda buni notanish

claimed a scraggy-haired stranger did it.

kal odam qildi deb ko'rsatma bergan.

And you'll see when you see the video,

Videoni ko'rib, bolalari uchun kuyinayotgan

she can't even pretend to be an agonizing mother.

onaga umuman o'xshamasligini tushunasiz.

What you want to look for here is an incredible discrepancy

Bunda siz topishingiz mumkin bo'lgan jihat,

u aytib berayotgan daxshatli voqealar bilan

between horrific events that she describes and her very, very cool demeanor.

uning sovuq, ehtiyotkor o'zini tutishi

o'rtasida aqlbovar qilmas nomuvofiqlikdir.

And if you look closely, you'll see duping delight throughout this video.

Butun video davomida "ahmoq qildim" ifodasini ko'rish mumkin.

(Video) Diane Downs: At night when I close my eyes,

Diana Dauns: Tunda ko'zimni yumganimda,

men mashinadan menga qo'lini uzatayotgan Kristini ko'raman,

I can see Christie reaching her hand out to me while I'm driving,

va uning og'zidan qon kelishda davom etayotgan bo'ladi.

and the blood just kept coming out of her mouth.

And that -- maybe it'll fade too with time --

Balki, vaqt o'tib bu o'tib ketar,

but I don't think so.

lekin men unday o'ylamayman.

That bothers me the most.

Mana meni nima ko'proq xavotirlantiradi.

PM: Now I'm going to show you a video

Pamela Meyer: Hozir esa men sizlarga

of an actual grieving mother, Erin Runnion,

haqiqiy ona qayg'usini, Erin Runnion,

confronting her daughter's murderer and torturer in court.

qizining qotiliga qarshi suddagi nutqini ko'rsataman.

Here you're going to see no false emotion,

Siz bunda soxta emotsiyalarni ko'rmaysiz,

just the authentic expression of a mother's agony.

faqat onaning chuqur qayg'usi.

(Video) Erin Runnion: I wrote this statement

Erin Runnion: Men bu arizani sen qizimni

on the third anniversary of the night you took my baby,

o'g'irlab ketganingdan uch kun o'tib yozdim

va sen uni qiynading,

and you hurt her,

and you crushed her,

sen uni yo'q qilding,

you terrified her until her heart stopped.

sen uni yuragi to'xtab qolgunicha qo'rqitding.

And she fought, and I know she fought you.

U kurashgan, men bilaman, u sen bilan kurashgan.

But I know she looked at you with those amazing brown eyes,

Men bilaman, u senga ajoyib jigarrang

ko'zlari bilan qaragan,

and you still wanted to kill her.

sen esa shundayam uni o'ldirishni xohlagansan.

And I don't understand it,

Va men buni tushunmayman,

and I never will.

hech qachon tushuna olmayman.

PM: Okay, there's no doubting the veracity of those emotions.

Pamela Meyer: Xo'sh, bu hissiyotlarning haqiqiy ekaniga hech qanday shubha yo'q.

Now the technology around what the truth looks like

Bugungi kunda haqiqatni aniqlovchi texnologiya

is progressing on, the science of it.

ilm-fan yutuqlari bilan borgan sari rivojlanmoqda.

We know, for example,

Masalan, bizga ma'lumki, hozirda

that we now have specialized eye trackers and infrared brain scans,

ko'z harakatlari trekeri va infraqizil miya skanerlari, rezonans

MRI's that can decode the signals that our bodies send out

magnitli tomograflar bor va ular biz aldashga urinayotganimizda

when we're trying to be deceptive.

bu haqda signallar beradi.

And these technologies are going to be marketed to all of us

Va bu texnologiyalar tez orada hammamizga taklif qilinadi,

as panaceas for deceit,

yolg'ondan qutilishning yo'li sifatida.

and they will prove incredibly useful some day.

Qachondir ular o'zining foydasini isbotlashadi. Lekin shunday

But you've got to ask yourself in the meantime:

vaqtda siz o'zingizdan so'rashingiz kerak:

Who do you want on your side of the meeting,

Kim bilan siz barrikadaning bir tarafida

someone who's trained in getting to the truth

bo'lishni xoxlardingiz, haqiqatni aniqlay oladigan inson bilanmi

or some guy who's going to drag a 400-pound electroencephalogram

yoki 200 kg elektroensefalografni joyidan

siljitishga intilayotgan inson bilanmi?

through the door?

Liespotters rely on human tools.

Yolg'onni ko'ra oluvchilar ko'proq insoniy emotsiyalar mavjudligiga qarashadi.

They know, as someone once said,

Bir paytlar kimdir ushbu gapni aytgan:

"Character's who you are in the dark."

"Xarakter bu sening qorong'ulikda kim

And what's kind of interesting is that today, we have so little darkness.

ekanligingdir". Va eng qizig'i shuki,

bugun shu qorong'ulik juda kam.

Our world is lit up 24 hours a day.

Bizning dunyoda sutkasiga 24 soat chiroqlar yoniq.

It's transparent with blogs and social networks

U shaffof,

ijtimoiy hayotni tanlagan butun

broadcasting the buzz of a whole new generation of people

yangi avlodning mish-mishlarini keng

that have made a choice to live their lives in public.

yoyadigan bloglar va ijtimoiy tarmoqlar hisobiga.

It's a much more noisy world.

Hozirgi dunyo ancha shovqinli.

So one challenge we have is to remember,

Shuning uchun ham bizning vazifamiz qiyin:

haddan tashqari ochiqlik —

oversharing, that's not honesty.

rostgo'ylik emasligini unutmaslik. Bizning daxshatli darajada

Our manic tweeting and texting can blind us

Twitterda muloqot qilishga va xabarlar

almashishga tashnaligimiz qadr-qimmatga

to the fact that the subtleties of human decency -- character integrity --

ega bo'lib kelgan insoniyat xulqining nozik jihatlari, xarakter

that's still what matters, that's always what's going to matter.

butunligi kabi faktorlarni soyada qoldirishi mumkin.

So in this much noisier world,

Shuning uchun hozirgidek shovqinli dunyoda

it might make sense for us

axloqiy me'yorlarimiz bilan bog'liq

to be just a little bit more explicit about our moral code.

bo'lgan jihatlarga yanada jiddiyroq

yondashish alohida o'rin tutadi.

When you combine the science of recognizing deception

Siz yolg'onni fosh etishni o'rganish bilan

with the art of looking, listening,

diqqat bilan eshitish va kuzatishni

you exempt yourself from collaborating in a lie.

birlashtirsangiz o'zingizni yolg'onlardan asragan bo'lasiz.

You start up that path of being just a little bit more explicit,

Atrofingizdagilarga: "Mening dunyoyim,

bizning dunyo rost dunyo bo'ladi.

because you signal to everyone around you,

Mening dunyoyimda rost hamma narsaga qodir

you say, "Hey, my world, our world, it's going to be an honest one.

va yolg'onni fosh etib, unga e'tibor bermaydilar"

deyotgandan holda,

My world is going to be one where truth is strengthened

siz ushbu katta aniqlikka qarab

and falsehood is recognized and marginalized."

yo'l boshlaysiz.

And when you do that,

Va siz buni uddalaganingizda

the ground around you starts to shift just a little bit.

atrofingizdagi dunyo asta-sekin o'zgarishni boshlaydi.

And that's the truth. Thank you.

Va bu chin haqiqat. Rahmat.

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)