Tracy Chevalier: Finding the story inside the painting

264,566 views ・ 2012-07-25

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Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
Translator: Thu-Huong Ha Reviewer: Youna Jung
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Prevodilac: Biljana Zlatanovic Lektor: Tatjana Jevdjic
00:15
I'm going to tell you about an affliction I suffer from.
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Ispričaću vam o bolesti od koje patim.
00:19
And I have a funny feeling that quite a few of you
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I imam neki čudan osećaj da dosta vas
00:22
suffer from it as well.
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takođe pati od nje.
00:24
When I'm walking around an art gallery,
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Kada se šetam kroz umetničku galeriju,
00:26
rooms and rooms full of paintings,
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prostorije i prostorije pune slika,
00:28
after about 15 or 20 minutes,
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nakon 15 ili 20 minuta,
00:33
I realize I'm not thinking about the paintings.
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shvatam da ne razmišljam o slikama,
00:34
I'm not connecting to them.
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ne povezujem se sa njima.
00:36
Instead, I'm thinking about that cup of coffee
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Umesto toga, razmišljam o šolji kafe,
00:39
I desperately need to wake me up.
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očajnički mi treba, da me razbudi.
00:42
I'm suffering from gallery fatigue.
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Patim od galerijskog umora.
00:45
How many of you out there suffer from --
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Koliko vas boluje od --
00:47
yes. Ha ha, ha ha!
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da. Aha, aha!
00:49
Now, sometimes you might last longer
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Dakle, nekada možete izdržati duže
00:51
than 20 minutes, or even shorter,
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od 20 minuta, ili čak kraće,
00:53
but I think we all suffer from it. And do you have
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ali smatram da svi mi bolujemo od toga. I da li osećate
00:56
the accompanying guilt?
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propratnu krivicu?
00:58
For me, I look at the paintings on the wall
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Gledam slike na zidu
01:01
and I think, somebody has decided to put them there,
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i mislim, neko je odlučio da ih stavi tu,
01:04
thinks they're good enough to be on that wall,
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dovoljno su dobre da budu na zidu,
01:06
but I don't always see it.
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ali to ne vidim uvek.
01:08
In fact, most of the time I don't see it.
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Zapravo većinom to ne vidim.
01:10
And I leave feeling actually unhappy.
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I odem osećajući se nesrećno.
01:14
I feel guilty and unhappy with myself,
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Pre ću se osećati krivom i nezadovoljnom sobom,
01:17
rather than thinking there's something wrong with the painting,
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nego što ću misliti da nešto nije u redu sa samom slikom.
01:19
I think there's something wrong with me.
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Mislim da nešto nije u redu sa mnom.
01:21
And that's not a good experience, to leave a gallery like that.
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Nije dobro iskustvo tako napustiti galeriju.
01:24
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:25
The thing is, I think we should give ourselves a break.
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Stvar je u tome da treba sebi da damo oduška.
01:27
If you think about going into a restaurant,
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Ako razmišljate o odlasku u restoran,
01:30
when you look at the menu, are you expected to order
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kada pogledate u jelovnik, da li se od vas očekuje da naručite
01:34
every single thing on the menu?
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apsolutno sve što je u jelovniku?
01:36
No! You select.
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Ne! Vi birate.
01:38
If you go into a department store to buy a shirt,
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Ako odete u prodavnicu odeće da kupite košulju,
01:41
are you going to try on every single shirt
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da li ćete probati sve košulje
01:44
and want every single shirt?
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i poželeti apsolutno svaku košulju?
01:45
Of course not, you can be selective. It's expected.
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Naravno da ne, možete biti selektivni. To se od vas očekuje.
01:49
How come, then, it's not so expected
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Zašto se ne očekuje od nas
01:52
to be selective when we go to an art gallery?
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da budemo selektivni kada odemo u umetničku galeriju?
01:54
Why are we supposed to have a connection with every single painting?
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Zašto treba da se povežemo sa apsolutno svakom slikom?
01:58
Well I'm trying to take a different approach.
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Pa ja pokušavam da ovome pristupim na drugačiji način.
02:00
And there's two things I do:
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I radim dve stvari.
02:02
When I go into a gallery, first of all, I go quite fast,
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Kada uđem u galeriju, najpre, pređem sve poprilično brzo,
02:07
and I look at everything, and I pinpoint the ones
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pogledam sve i izdvojim one
02:11
that make me slow down for some reason or other.
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koje me nateraju da usporim iz ovog ili onog razloga.
02:14
I don't even know why they make me slow down, but something
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Čak ni ne znam zašto me nateraju da usporim, ali me nešto
02:17
pulls me like a magnet
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privuče kao magnet
02:19
and then I ignore all the others, and I just go to that painting.
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i onda ignorišem sve druge i jednostavno odem do te slike.
02:22
So it's the first thing I do is, I do my own curation.
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Tako da je prva stvar koju uradim, zapravo moj sopstveni stručni izbor.
02:24
I choose a painting. It might just be one painting in 50.
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Odaberem sliku, može to biti samo jedna od 50 slika.
02:28
And then the second thing I do is I stand in front of that painting,
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Sledeće je, stanem ispred te slike
02:31
and I tell myself a story about it.
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i ispričam sebi priču o njoj.
02:34
Why a story? Well, I think that we are wired,
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Zašto priču? Pa, smatram da smo stvoreni za to,
02:38
our DNA tells us to tell stories.
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naš DNK nam govori da pričamo priče.
02:42
We tell stories all the time about everything,
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Stalno pričamo priče o svemu,
02:44
and I think we do it because the world is kind of a crazy, chaotic place,
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mislim da to radimo jer je svet na neki način ludo i haotično mesto
02:49
and sometimes stories, we're trying to make sense of the world a little bit,
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i nekada pričama pokušavamo pomalo da pronađemo smisao sveta,
02:53
trying to bring some order to it.
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pokušavajući da ga uredimo.
02:55
Why not apply that to our looking at paintings?
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Zašto ne bismo to primenili na naše gledanje slika?
02:59
So I now have this sort of restaurant menu
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Sada posećujem umetničke galerije
03:03
visiting of art galleries.
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na način na koji gledam jelovnik u restoranu.
03:06
There are three paintings I'm going to show you now
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Pokazaću vam sada tri slike,
03:10
that are paintings that made me stop in my tracks
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koje su me naterale da se zaustavim
03:13
and want to tell stories about them.
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i poželim da ispričam priče o njima.
03:15
The first one needs little introduction --
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Prvoj nije potreban uvod --
03:19
"Girl with a Pearl Earring" by Johannes Vermeer,
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"Devojka sa bisernom minđušom'' Johana Vermera,
03:22
17th-century Dutch painter.
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holandski slikar iz 17. veka.
03:24
This is the most glorious painting.
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Ovo je najdivnija slika.
03:26
I first saw it when I was 19,
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Prvi put sam je videla kada sam imala 19 godina,
03:29
and I immediately went out and got a poster of it,
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odmah sam izašla i kupila poster te slike,
03:31
and in fact I still have that poster. 30 years later it's hanging in my house.
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zapravo još uvek imam taj poster. Nakon 30 godina i dalje mi visi u kući.
03:35
It's accompanied me everywhere I've gone,
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Pratila me je gde god da sam išla.
03:38
I never tire of looking at her.
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Nikad se ne umorim od gledanja u nju.
03:40
What made me stop in my tracks about her to begin with
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Ono što me je nateralo da se zaustavim ispred nje, bile su
03:44
was just the gorgeous colors he uses
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prelepe boje koje koristi
03:47
and the light falling on her face.
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i svetlost koja joj pada na lice.
03:49
But I think what's kept me still coming back
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Ali mislim da ono što me još uvek tera da joj se vraćam
03:52
year after year is another thing, and that is
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iz godine u godinu, je nešto drugo, a to je izraz
03:55
the look on her face, the conflicted look on her face.
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njenog lica, protivurečan izraz njenog lica.
03:58
I can't tell if she's happy or sad,
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Ne mogu da ocenim da li je srećna ili tužna
04:01
and I change my mind all the time.
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i stalno menjam mišljenje.
04:04
So that keeps me coming back.
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Zbog toga joj se stalno vraćam.
04:07
One day, 16 years after I had this poster on my wall,
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Jednog dana, 16 godina nakon što sam držala ovaj poster na zidu,
04:11
I lay in bed and looked at her,
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legla sam u krevet i pogledala sam je,
04:14
and I suddenly thought, I wonder what
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odjednom sam pomislila, pitam se šta joj je
04:17
the painter did to her to make her look like that.
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slikar uradio da bi ona tako izgledala.
04:20
And it was the first time I'd ever thought that
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Prvi put sam pomislila
04:23
the expression on her face is actually reflecting
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da izraz na njenom licu zapravo prikazuje
04:26
how she feels about him.
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šta ona oseća prema njemu.
04:28
Always before I'd thought of it as a portrait of a girl.
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Uvek sam pre toga gledala na sliku kao na portret devojke.
04:32
Now I began to think of it as a portrait of a relationship.
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Tada sam počela da gledam na nju kao na portret jedne veze.
04:36
And I thought, well, what is that relationship?
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I pomislila sam, dobro, kakav je taj odnos?
04:39
So I went to find out. I did some research and discovered,
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Pa sam rešila da saznam. Malo sam istraživala i otkrila sam
04:42
we have no idea who she is.
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da nemamo predstavu o tome ko je ona.
04:45
In fact, we don't know who any of the models
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Zapravo, ne znamo ko su modeli
04:47
in any of Vermeer's paintings are,
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na bilo kojoj od Vermerovih slika
04:49
and we know very little about Vermeer himself.
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i znamo veoma malo o samom Vermeru.
04:51
Which made me go, "Yippee!"
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To me je nateralo da viknem ,,Jeeeee'!'
04:54
I can do whatever I want, I can come up with whatever story I want to.
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Mogu da uradim šta god poželim, mogu da izmislim bilo kakvu priču.
04:59
So here's how I came up with the story.
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Evo kako sam došla na ideju ove priče.
05:02
First of all, I thought,
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Najpre sam pomislila
05:03
I've got to get her into the house.
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da moram da je postavim u kuću.
05:05
How does Vermeer know her?
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Kako je Vermer poznaje?
05:08
Well, there've been suggestions that
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Pa, pretpostavljalo se
05:10
she is his 12-year-old daughter.
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da je ona njegova dvanaestogodišnja ćerka.
05:14
The daughter at the time was 12 when he painted the painting.
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U vreme kada je naslikao sliku, ćerka je imala 12 godina.
05:16
And I thought, no, it's a very intimate look,
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Pomislila sam, ne, radi se o veoma intimnom pogledu,
05:19
but it's not a look a daughter gives her father.
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ali to nije pogled kojim ćerka gleda oca.
05:21
For one thing, in Dutch painting of the time,
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Jedno je sigurno, u holandskom slikarstvu tog doba,
05:23
if a woman's mouth was open, it was indicating sexual availability.
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otvorena usta žene, ukazivala su na seksualnu dostupnost.
05:26
It would have been inappropriate for Vermeer
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Bilo bi neprikladno za Vermera
05:28
to paint his daughter like that.
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da tako naslika svoju ćerku.
05:30
So it's not his daughter, but it's somebody
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Tako da se ne radi o njegovoj ćerki, već je to neko
05:32
close to him, physically close to him.
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ko mu je blizak, fizički blizak.
05:34
Well, who else would be in the house?
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Pa, ko bi još mogao da bude u kući?
05:37
A servant, a lovely servant.
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Služavka, ljupka služavka.
05:40
So, she's in the house.
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Dakle, ona je u kući.
05:42
How do we get her into the studio?
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Kako da ona bude u ateljeu?
05:44
We don't know very much about Vermeer,
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Ne znamo mnogo o Vermeru,
05:46
but the little bits that we do know, one thing we know
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ali ono malo što znamo, jednu stvar koju znamo
05:49
is that he married a Catholic woman, they lived with her mother
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je da se oženio katolkinjom, živeli su sa njenom majkom
05:52
in a house where he had his own room
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u kući u kojoj je imao svoju sobu,
05:54
where he -- his studio. He also had 11 children.
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svoj atelje. Takođe je imao 11 dece.
05:58
It would have been a chaotic, noisy household.
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Mora da je to bilo haotično, bučno domaćinstvo.
06:01
And if you've seen Vermeer's paintings before,
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Ako ste videli ranije Vermerove slike,
06:04
you know that they're incredibly calm and quiet.
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znate da su one neverovatno mirne i tihe.
06:08
How does a painter paint such calm, quiet paintings with 11 kids around?
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Kako slikar slika tako mirne, tihe slike sa 11 dece oko sebe?
06:12
Well, he compartmentalizes his life.
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Pa, on deli svoj život.
06:14
He gets to his studio, and he says, "Nobody comes in here.
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Dođe do svog ateljea i kaže: ,,Da niko nije ušao ovde.
06:18
Not the wife, not the kids. Okay, the maid can come in and clean."
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Ni žena, ni deca. Dobro, služavka može da uđe i počisti."
06:23
She's in the studio. He's got her in the studio, they're together.
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Ona je u ateljeu. Ima je u ateljeu, zajedno su.
06:30
And he decides to paint her.
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I odlučuje da je naslika.
06:32
He has her wear very plain clothes.
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Kaže joj da obuče nešto vrlo jednostavno.
06:34
Now, all of the women, or most of the women in Vermeer's other paintings
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Ali, sve žene ili barem većina žena, na drugim Vermerovim slikama,
06:37
wore velvet, silk, fur, very sumptuous materials.
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nosile su somot, svilu, krzno, vrlo raskošne materijale.
06:43
This is very plain; the only thing that isn't plain
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Ovo je vrlo skromno, jedina stvar koja nije skromna
06:46
is her pearl earring.
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je njena biserna minđuša.
06:48
Now, if she's a servant, there is no way she could afford
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Ako je služavka, nema šanse da je mogla da priušti
06:51
a pair of pearl earrings.
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par bisernih minđuša.
06:54
So those are not her pearl earrings. Whose are they?
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Dakle, to nisu njene biserne minđuše. Čije li su?
06:57
We happen to know, there's a list of Catharina, the wife's clothes.
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Mi sasvim slučajno znamo da postoji lista Katarinine, ženine odeća.
07:02
Amongst them a yellow coat with white fur,
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U njoj je žuti kaput sa belim krznom,
07:05
a yellow and black bodice,
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žuti i crni ženski pojas,
07:07
and you see these clothes on lots of other paintings,
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ova odeća se može videti na mnogim drugim slikama,
07:11
different women in the paintings, Vermeer's paintings.
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na različitim ženama na Vermerovim slikama.
07:14
So clearly, her clothes were lent to various different women.
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Očigledno je da su njenu odeću pozajmljivali mnogim, raznim ženama.
07:18
It's not such a leap of faith to take
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Nije velika zabluda pomisliti
07:21
that that pearl earring actually belongs to his wife.
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da ta biserna minđuša pripada zapravo njegovoj ženi.
07:25
So we've got all the elements for our story.
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Dakle, imamo sve delove za našu priču.
07:28
She's in the studio with him for a long time.
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Ona je dugo sa njim u ateljeu.
07:30
These paintings took a long time to make.
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Trebalo je mnogo vremena da se naprave ove slike.
07:32
They would have spent the time alone, all that time.
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Oni bi sve to vreme provodili sami.
07:35
She's wearing his wife's pearl earring.
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Ona nosi bisernu minđušu njegove žene.
07:37
She's gorgeous. She obviously loves him. She's conflicted.
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Prelepa je. Očigledno ga voli. Razapeta je.
07:40
And does the wife know? Maybe not.
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A da li žena zna? Možda ne zna.
07:43
And if she doesn't, well --
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I ako ne zna, pa --
07:46
that's the story.
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to je priča.
07:48
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:50
The next painting I'm going to talk about
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Sledeća slika o kojoj ću govoriti
07:53
is called "Boy Building a House of Cards" by Chardin.
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je Šardenova ,,Dečak koji gradi kulu od karata''.
07:56
He's an 18th-century French painter best known for his still lifes,
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On je francuski slikar iz 18.veka, najpoznatiji po svojoj mrtvoj prirodi,
08:00
but he did occasionally paint people.
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ali je povremeno slikao i ljude.
08:03
And in fact, he painted four versions of this painting,
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Zapravo je naslikao četiri verzije ove slike,
08:07
different boys building houses of cards, all concentrated.
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različiti dečaci koji grade kule od karata, potpuno koncentrisani.
08:11
I like this version the best, because some of the boys
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Ova verzija mi se najviše dopada, jer su neki od dečaka
08:14
are older and some are younger, and to me, this one,
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stariji dok su drugi mlađi i za mene je ova,
08:18
like Goldilocks's porridge, is just right.
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kao Zlatokosina kaša, baš onakva kakva treba da bude.
08:21
He's not quite a child, and he's not quite a man.
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On nije sasvim dete, ali nije u potpunosti ni čovek.
08:25
He's absolutely balanced between innocence and experience,
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On je u potpunosti izbalansiran između nevinosti i iskustva
08:29
and that made me stop in my tracks in front of this painting.
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i to me je zaustavilo ispred ove slike.
08:34
And I looked at his face. It's like a Vermeer painting a bit.
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Pogledala sam ga u lice. Pomalo podseća na Vermerovu sliku.
08:38
The light comes in from the left, his face is bathed
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Svetlost dolazi sa leve strane, lice mu je okupano
08:40
in this glowing light. It's right in the center of the painting,
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u ovom sjajnom svetlu. Tačno je u centru slike,
08:42
and you look at it, and I found that when I was looking at it,
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morate da je pogledate. Tada sam shvatila da, dok sam je posmatrala,
08:45
I was standing there going,
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stajala sam ispred nje i ponavljala:
08:47
"Look at me. Please look at me."
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,,Pogledaj me, molim te, pogledaj me.''
08:50
And he didn't look at me. He was still looking at his cards,
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Nije me pogledao. Još uvek je gledao u svoje karte
08:52
and that's one of the seductive elements of this painting is,
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i jedan od zavodljivih elemenata ove slike
08:55
he's so focused on what he's doing that he doesn't look at us.
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je u tome, on je toliko fokusiran na to što radi, da nas ne gleda.
09:00
And that is, to me, the sign of a masterpiece,
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To je po mom mišljenju znak remek dela,
09:04
of a painting when there's a lack of resolution.
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kada na slici postoji nedostatak rešenja.
09:08
He's never going to look at me.
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Nikada me neće pogledati.
09:09
So I was thinking of a story where,
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Razmišljala sam o priči u kojoj,
09:11
if I'm in this position, who could be there looking at him?
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da sam ja na njegovom mestu, ko bi mogao da bude tamo i da ga gleda?
09:14
Not the painter, I don't want to think about the painter.
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Nije slikar, ne želim da mislim na slikara.
09:16
I'm thinking of an older version of himself.
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Razmišljam da je mogla da bude njegova starija verzija.
09:19
He's a man, a servant, an older servant looking at this younger servant,
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On je čovek, sluga, stariji sluga koji gleda ovog mlađeg slugu,
09:25
saying, "Look at me. I want to warn you about
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koji mu govori: ,,Pogledaj me. Hoću da te upozorim
09:27
what you're about to go through. Please look at me."
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na ono što ćeš upravo da proživiš. Molim te, pogledaj me.''
09:30
And he never does.
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I on nikada ne pogleda.
09:31
And that lack of resolution, the lack of resolution in "Girl with a Pearl Earring" --
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I taj nedostatak rešenja, nedostatak rešenja na slici ,,Devojka sa bisernom minđušom'' --
09:35
we don't know if she's happy or sad.
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ne znamo da li je srećna ili tužna.
09:37
I've written an entire novel about her,
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Napisala sam čitav roman o njoj,
09:39
and I still don't know if she's happy or sad.
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i dalje ne znam da li je srećna ili tužna.
09:41
Again and again, back to the painting,
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Iznova sam tražila odgovor vraćajući se slici
09:43
looking for the answer, looking for the story to fill in that gap.
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i tražila sam odgovor, tražeći priču da popuni tu prazninu.
09:47
And we may make a story, and it satisfies us momentarily,
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Možemo da izmislimo priču i ona nas zadovolji na trenutak,
09:51
but not really, and we come back again and again.
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ali ne zaista, vraćamo joj se iznova.
09:57
The last painting I'm going to talk about
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Poslednja slika o kojoj ću govoriti
09:59
is called "Anonymous" by anonymous. (Laughter)
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je slika anonimnog slikara, "Anonimni". (Smeh)
10:04
This is a Tudor portrait bought by the National Portrait Gallery.
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Ovo je portret Tjudora koji je Nacionalna galerija portreta otkupila.
10:07
They thought it was a man named Sir Thomas Overbury,
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Oni su mislili da je to čovek po imenu Sir Tomas Overberi
10:10
and then they discovered that it wasn't him,
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i onda su otkrili da to nije bio on
10:12
and they have no idea who it is.
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i da ne znaju ko je.
10:14
Now, in the National Portrait Gallery,
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U Nacionalnoj galeriji portreta,
10:16
if you don't know the biography of the painting,
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ako se ne zna biografija slike,
10:18
it's kind of useless to you.
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nekako nam je slika beskorisna.
10:19
They can't hang it on the wall, because they don't know who he is.
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Ne mogu da je okače na zid, jer ne znaju o kome je reč.
10:22
So unfortunately, this orphan spends most of his time in storage,
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Tako da, na žalost, ovo siroče provodi većinu svog vremena u skladištu,
10:27
along with quite a number of other orphans,
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zajedno sa velikim brojem druge siročadi,
10:29
some of them some beautiful paintings.
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neke od njih su zaista prelepe slike.
10:31
This painting made me stop in my tracks for three reasons:
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Ova slika me je naterala da se zaustavim ispred nje iz tri razloga.
10:36
One is the disconnection between his mouth
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Jedan od razloga je nepovezanost između njegovih usta
10:39
that's smiling and his eyes that are wistful.
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koja se smeše i njegovih tužnih očiju.
10:42
He's not happy, and why isn't he happy?
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Nije srećan? A zašto nije srećan?
10:45
The second thing that really attracted me
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Druga stvar koja me je zaista privukla
10:49
were his bright red cheeks.
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bili su njegovi svetli, crveni obrazi.
10:50
He is blushing. He's blushing for his portrait being made!
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On crveni. Crveni, dok mu se portret pravi!
10:54
This must be a guy who blushes all the time.
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Mora da je on tip koji stalno crveni.
10:57
What is he thinking about that's making him blush?
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O čemu razmišlja što ga tera da crveni?
10:59
The third thing that made me stop in my tracks
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Treća stvar koja me je naterala da se zaustavim ispred slike
11:03
is his absolutely gorgeous doublet.
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je njegov prelepi dublet.
11:06
Silk, gray, those beautiful buttons.
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Svilen, siv, ti prelepi dugmići.
11:09
And you know what it makes me think of,
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Znate na šta me podseća?
11:11
is it's sort of snug and puffy; it's like a duvet spread over a bed.
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Nekako je ugodan i pufnast, podseća na perjani jorgan raširen preko kreveta.
11:16
I kept thinking of beds and red cheeks,
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Uporno sam razmišljala o krevetima i rumenim obrazima
11:18
and of course I kept thinking of sex when I looked at him,
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i naravno da sam uporno mislila na seks kada bih ga pogledala
11:21
and I thought, is that what he's thinking about?
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i pomislila sam, da li on o tome razmišlja?
11:24
And I thought, if I'm going to make a story,
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Pomislila sam da, ako ću da smislim priču,
11:26
what's the last thing I'm going to put in there?
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šta je poslednja stvar koju bih stavila u nju?
11:28
Well, what would a Tudor gentleman be preoccupied with?
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Pa, čime bi tjudorski džentlmen bio okupiran?
11:32
And I thought, well, Henry VIII, okay.
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Pomislila sam, Henrik VIII, dobro.
11:34
He'd be preoccupied with his inheritance, with his heir.
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Bio bi okupiran svojim nasledstvom, svojim naslednikom.
11:38
Who is going to inherit his name and his fortune?
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Ko će naslediti njegovo ime i bogatstvo?
11:41
You put all those together, and you've got your story
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Stavite sve to zajedno i imate priču
11:45
to fill in that gap that makes you keep coming back.
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da popuni onu prazninu koja vas stalno tera da se vraćate slici.
11:49
Now, here's the story.
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Evo priče.
11:53
It's short.
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Kratka je.
11:56
"Rosy"
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,,Rumenko''
11:59
I am still wearing the white brocade doublet Caroline gave me.
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Još uvek nosim beli brokatni dublet, koji mi je Karolin dala.
12:03
It has a plain high collar, detachable sleeves
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Ima jednostavan, visoki okovratnik, rukave koji se skidaju
12:07
and intricate buttons of twisted silk thread,
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i komplikovane dugmiće od upredenih niti svile,
12:11
set close together so that the fit is snug.
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koji su postavljeni jedni uz druge, taman se uklapa.
12:14
The doublet makes me think of a coverlet on the vast bed.
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Dublet me podseća na prekrivač na velikom krevetu.
12:17
Perhaps that was the intention.
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Možda je to i bila namera.
12:21
I first wore it at an elaborate dinner her parents held in our honor.
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Prvi put sam ga nosio na svečanoj večeri, koju su njeni roditelji organizovali u našu čast.
12:26
I knew even before I stood up to speak
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Znao sam, čak i pre nego što sam ustao da održim govor,
12:28
that my cheeks were inflamed.
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da su mi obrazi goreli.
12:30
I have always flushed easily, from physical exertion,
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Oduvek sam lako crveneo, od fizičkog napora,
12:34
from wine, from high emotion.
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od vina, od uzvišenih emocija.
12:36
As a boy, I was teased by my sisters and by schoolboys,
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Moje sestre i dečaci iz škole su me zadirkivali zbog toga,
12:41
but not by George.
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ali Džordž nikada.
12:43
Only George could call me Rosy.
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Samo je Džordž mogao da me zove Rumenko.
12:46
I would not allow anyone else.
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Nikome drugome to nisam dozvoljavao.
12:48
He managed to make the word tender.
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Uspevao je da ulepša reč.
12:53
When I made the announcement, George did not
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Kada sam objavio vest, Džordž nije
12:55
turn rosy, but went pale as my doublet.
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porumeneo, već je pobledeo kao moj dublet.
12:58
He should not have been surprised.
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Nije trebalo da bude iznenađen.
13:00
It has been a common assumption
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Bila je najnormalnija pretpostavka
13:02
that I would one day marry his cousin.
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da ću jednog dana oženiti njegovu rođaku.
13:06
But it is difficult to hear the words aloud.
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Ali teško je naglas čuti te reči.
13:08
I know, I could barely utter them.
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Znam, jedva sam ih izgovorio.
13:12
Afterwards, I found George on the terrace overlooking the kitchen garden.
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Nakon toga, našao sam Džordža na terasi kako gleda u vrt.
13:16
Despite drinking steadily all afternoon, he was still pale.
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Uprkos pijenju celog poslepodneva, još uvek je bio bled.
13:21
We stood together and watched the maids cut lettuces.
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Stajali smo zajedno i posmatrali služavke kako seku salatu.
13:26
"What do you think of my doublet?" I asked.
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,,Šta misliš o mom dubletu?'', pitao sam ga.
13:28
He glanced at me. "That collar looks to be strangling you."
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Ovlaš me je pogledao: ,,Izgleda da te taj okovratnik davi.''
13:33
"We will still see each other," I insisted.
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,,I dalje ćemo se viđati'', insistirao sam.
13:35
"We can still hunt and play cards and attend court.
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"I dalje možemo da lovimo, igramo karte, idemo na dvor.
13:39
Nothing need change."
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Ništa ne mora da se promeni.''
13:40
George did not speak.
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Džordž nije govorio.
13:44
"I am 23 years old. It is time for me to marry
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,,Imam 23 godine. Vreme mi je da se oženim
13:47
and produce an heir. It is expected of me."
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i da dobijem naslednika. To se od mene očekuje.''
13:52
George drained another glass of claret and turned to me.
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Džordž je ispio još jednu čašu vina i okrenuo se ka meni.
13:55
"Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, James.
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"Čestitam na skorom venčanju Džejms.
13:59
I'm sure you'll be content together."
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Siguran sam da ćete biti zadovoljni zajedno.''
14:04
He never used my nickname again.
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Nikada više nije upotrebio moj nadimak.
14:07
Thank you.
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Hvala.
14:09
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
14:13
Thank you.
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Hvala.
14:14
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
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