Tracy Chevalier: Finding the story inside the painting

Translator: Thu-Huong Ha Reviewer: Youna Jung

譯者: Regina Chu 審譯者: Paoli Lee

I'm going to tell you about an affliction I suffer from.

讓我告訴各位一件我很苦惱的事

And I have a funny feeling that quite a few of you

而且直覺告訴我，這裡不少人

suffer from it as well.

跟我一樣有這種苦惱

When I'm walking around an art gallery,

當我在畫廊看畫的時候

rooms and rooms full of paintings,

走過一間又一間滿是畫作的房間

after about 15 or 20 minutes,

看了15到20分鐘後

I realize I'm not thinking about the paintings.

我領悟到我其實沒有在看畫

I'm not connecting to them.

我對這些畫一點感覺也沒有

Instead, I'm thinking about that cup of coffee

我腦袋裡想著的其實是咖啡

I desperately need to wake me up.

我亟需讓自己清醒

I'm suffering from gallery fatigue.

我的苦惱就是畫廊困倦症

How many of you out there suffer from --

這裡有多少人也有這種苦惱？

yes. Ha ha, ha ha!

是吧！哈哈哈哈！

Now, sometimes you might last longer

那麼，有時候大概可以撐

than 20 minutes, or even shorter,

超過20分鐘，有時甚至撐不了那麼久

but I think we all suffer from it. And do you have

但我想我們都有著這種苦惱

the accompanying guilt?

那你會伴隨著愧疚的感覺嗎？

For me, I look at the paintings on the wall

對我來說，當我看著牆上的畫作

and I think, somebody has decided to put them there,

我想，某個人決定要把這些畫掛在牆上

thinks they're good enough to be on that wall,

想著，這些畫是値得掛出來的

but I don't always see it.

但我不見得看得懂好在哪裡

In fact, most of the time I don't see it.

事實上，絕大部分時間我都看不懂

And I leave feeling actually unhappy.

所以我離開畫廊時很不開心

I feel guilty and unhappy with myself,

我自覺內疚，不快樂

rather than thinking there's something wrong with the painting,

我認為我看不懂是因為我有問題

I think there's something wrong with me.

而不是這些畫有問題

And that's not a good experience, to leave a gallery like that.

所以像這樣離開畫廊的經驗很差

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

The thing is, I think we should give ourselves a break.

我認為我們應該對自己好一點

If you think about going into a restaurant,

你想，如果你去了一家餐廳

when you look at the menu, are you expected to order

當你看菜單的時候，你會想去點

every single thing on the menu?

菜單上的每一道菜嗎？

No! You select.

不會！你會選菜

If you go into a department store to buy a shirt,

如果你去百貨公司買襯衫

are you going to try on every single shirt

你會試穿店裡的每一件襯衫嗎？

and want every single shirt?

而且每一件都買嗎？

Of course not, you can be selective. It's expected.

當然不會！你有所選擇，本應如此

How come, then, it's not so expected

那爲什麼不行在

to be selective when we go to an art gallery?

畫廊裡選擇性地看畫呢？

Why are we supposed to have a connection with every single painting?

憑什麼我們對每一幅畫都要有感覺？

Well I'm trying to take a different approach.

所以我試著用不同的方法

And there's two things I do:

我做兩件事

When I go into a gallery, first of all, I go quite fast,

我去畫廊的時候 我很快地先把畫廊走一遍

and I look at everything, and I pinpoint the ones

把所有的畫都瀏覽一下 然後我選出幾幅

that make me slow down for some reason or other.

因為某些因素讓我想慢慢看的畫

I don't even know why they make me slow down, but something

我甚至不知道為什麼這些畫吸引我佇足

pulls me like a magnet

但是他們像磁鐵般吸住我的目光

and then I ignore all the others, and I just go to that painting.

然後我不再回顧其他的畫 就直接走去那幅我想看的

So it's the first thing I do is, I do my own curation.

所以這是我先做的事 自己當博物館館長

I choose a painting. It might just be one painting in 50.

我先選一幅畫，可能是50選一

And then the second thing I do is I stand in front of that painting,

然後第二件事是我站在那幅畫前

and I tell myself a story about it.

自己編一個有關這畫的故事

Why a story? Well, I think that we are wired,

為什麼是一個故事？嗯，我想這是天生的

our DNA tells us to tell stories.

我們的DNA告訴我們要講故事

We tell stories all the time about everything,

我們總是拿各式題材說故事

and I think we do it because the world is kind of a crazy, chaotic place,

我認為我們之所以這麼做 是因為這是個瘋狂混亂的世界

and sometimes stories, we're trying to make sense of the world a little bit,

有時候我們用故事來讓這個世界更合理一點

trying to bring some order to it.

試著在混亂中找秩序

Why not apply that to our looking at paintings?

為什麼不在看畫時如法炮製呢？

So I now have this sort of restaurant menu

所以現在我就像在餐廳裡選菜一般

visiting of art galleries.

選畫廊裡的畫

There are three paintings I'm going to show you now

接下來我要展示三幅畫

that are paintings that made me stop in my tracks

這些畫讓我駐足良久

and want to tell stories about them.

想對人訴說他們的故事

The first one needs little introduction --

第一幅需要解釋一下它的背景

"Girl with a Pearl Earring" by Johannes Vermeer,

揚‧維梅爾的「戴珍珠耳環的女孩」

17th-century Dutch painter.

他是十七世紀的荷蘭畫家

This is the most glorious painting.

這是最棒的一幅

I first saw it when I was 19,

我第一次看到這幅畫是十九歲

and I immediately went out and got a poster of it,

後來我馬上就去買了一張它的海報

and in fact I still have that poster. 30 years later it's hanging in my house.

其實我仍保留著那張海報 30年後我還把它掛在家裡

It's accompanied me everywhere I've gone,

我搬到哪裡都要帶著它

I never tire of looking at her.

總是百看不厭

What made me stop in my tracks about her to begin with

一開始讓我在畫廊佇足欣賞這幅畫的理由

was just the gorgeous colors he uses

只是因為他用了好漂亮的顏色

and the light falling on her face.

還有那映照在她臉上的光影

But I think what's kept me still coming back

但是我想會讓我年復一年的回來看這幅畫

year after year is another thing, and that is

一定有另外的原因

the look on her face, the conflicted look on her face.

那就是她臉上的表情，充滿矛盾的表情

I can't tell if she's happy or sad,

我不知道她是快樂還是悲傷

and I change my mind all the time.

我每次看都有不同的結論

So that keeps me coming back.

所以這讓我一直回來看這幅畫

One day, 16 years after I had this poster on my wall,

在我買了那張海報16年後的某一天

I lay in bed and looked at her,

我躺在床上看著她

and I suddenly thought, I wonder what

我突然想著，到底

the painter did to her to make her look like that.

畫家對她做了什麼 使她有那樣的表情

And it was the first time I'd ever thought that

這是我第一次思考到

the expression on her face is actually reflecting

她臉上的表情其實反映了

how she feels about him.

她對畫家的感情

Always before I'd thought of it as a portrait of a girl.

在那之前，我僅僅把它視為一幅女孩的肖像

Now I began to think of it as a portrait of a relationship.

現在我開始認為它在描繪一段關係

And I thought, well, what is that relationship?

然後我就想，喔，那這是段什麼樣的關係？

So I went to find out. I did some research and discovered,

所以我就開始找答案，我發現

we have no idea who she is.

我們對她一無所知

In fact, we don't know who any of the models

事實上，我們對維梅爾畫作裡的模特兒

in any of Vermeer's paintings are,

都一無所知

and we know very little about Vermeer himself.

我們對維梅爾本身的瞭解也不多

Which made me go, "Yippee!"

這讓我大呼，「妙極了！」

I can do whatever I want, I can come up with whatever story I want to.

我可以盡情發揮編造出各式各樣的故事

So here's how I came up with the story.

所以以下就是我編的故事

First of all, I thought,

首先我認為

I've got to get her into the house.

我要想辦法讓她進到房子裡面

How does Vermeer know her?

維梅爾是如何認識她的呢？

Well, there've been suggestions that

嗯，有人是這麼說的：

she is his 12-year-old daughter.

她是他12歲的女兒

The daughter at the time was 12 when he painted the painting.

他的女兒在他畫這幅畫時的確是12歲

And I thought, no, it's a very intimate look,

然後我想，不對，這個表情的確很親密

but it's not a look a daughter gives her father.

卻不是女兒看父親的那種親密

For one thing, in Dutch painting of the time,

有件事情該提一下，在當時荷蘭的畫風是

if a woman's mouth was open, it was indicating sexual availability.

如果女模特兒的嘴巴張開，表示性引誘

It would have been inappropriate for Vermeer

對維梅爾而言， 把女兒畫成那樣

to paint his daughter like that.

的確很不妥當

So it's not his daughter, but it's somebody

所以這不是他的女兒，而是一個

close to him, physically close to him.

與他關係很親近，肉體關係很近的人

Well, who else would be in the house?

還有誰可能在他的宅邸內呢？

A servant, a lovely servant.

僕人，一個漂亮的僕人

So, she's in the house.

所以，她在房子裡

How do we get her into the studio?

那要如何讓她進到畫室裡呢？

We don't know very much about Vermeer,

我們對維梅爾真的瞭解不多

but the little bits that we do know, one thing we know

但就我們所知的那一點點，有一件事我們的確知道

is that he married a Catholic woman, they lived with her mother

就是他與一位天主教女士結婚，他們與岳母同住在

in a house where he had his own room

一間有他專屬的房間的屋子裡

where he -- his studio. He also had 11 children.

有他自己的畫室。他還有11個小孩

It would have been a chaotic, noisy household.

這個房子大概很亂很吵吧

And if you've seen Vermeer's paintings before,

如果你看過維梅爾的畫

you know that they're incredibly calm and quiet.

你會發現這些畫表現出不可思議的恬靜安詳

How does a painter paint such calm, quiet paintings with 11 kids around?

一個畫家如何在有11個小孩圍繞的情況下 畫出如此恬靜安詳的畫？

Well, he compartmentalizes his life.

他把他的生活分成好幾部分

He gets to his studio, and he says, "Nobody comes in here.

他到了畫室，他會說：「沒有人可以進來這裡。」

Not the wife, not the kids. Okay, the maid can come in and clean."

「太太不能，小孩也不能，好吧！女僕可以進來打掃。」

She's in the studio. He's got her in the studio, they're together.

女僕進到了畫室，他把她引進了畫室，他們在一起

And he decides to paint her.

然後他決定畫一張她的肖樣

He has her wear very plain clothes.

他讓她穿上非常普通的衣服。

Now, all of the women, or most of the women in Vermeer's other paintings

所有維梅爾畫裡的女人，或者是大部分的女人

wore velvet, silk, fur, very sumptuous materials.

都穿著以非常昂貴的絨、絲、毛皮材質所做的衣服

This is very plain; the only thing that isn't plain

而這件衣服非常普通，整張畫裡唯一上得了台面的

is her pearl earring.

是她的珍珠耳環

Now, if she's a servant, there is no way she could afford

如果她是女僕，她不可能買得起

a pair of pearl earrings.

這樣一對珍珠耳環

So those are not her pearl earrings. Whose are they?

所以這對耳環不是她的，那是誰的？

We happen to know, there's a list of Catharina, the wife's clothes.

剛好我們知道他太太凱薩琳娜的衣服清單中

Amongst them a yellow coat with white fur,

有一件帶有白色皮毛的黃大衣

a yellow and black bodice,

一件黃黑兩色的緊身馬甲

and you see these clothes on lots of other paintings,

你在他其他的畫作裡都看得到這些衣服

different women in the paintings, Vermeer's paintings.

維梅爾的畫作裡不同的女人穿著這些衣服

So clearly, her clothes were lent to various different women.

所以很顯然，她的衣服借給不同的女人穿

It's not such a leap of faith to take

所以如果說這女孩拿了他太太的耳環來戴

that that pearl earring actually belongs to his wife.

也不是太不可思議的解釋吧

So we've got all the elements for our story.

所以我們把故事的重要元素都湊齊了

She's in the studio with him for a long time.

她與他在畫室裡獨處很長一段時間

These paintings took a long time to make.

這些畫要花很久時間來完成

They would have spent the time alone, all that time.

他們可能經常獨處很長一段時間

She's wearing his wife's pearl earring.

她戴著他太太的珍珠耳環

She's gorgeous. She obviously loves him. She's conflicted.

她很迷人，她顯然愛著他，但她也很矛盾

And does the wife know? Maybe not.

他太太知道嗎？大概不知道吧

And if she doesn't, well --

如果她不知道，嗯......

that's the story.

故事就這麼寫下去了

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

The next painting I'm going to talk about

下一幅畫我要談一談

is called "Boy Building a House of Cards" by Chardin.

夏丹的「堆卡片的男孩」

He's an 18th-century French painter best known for his still lifes,

他是18世紀法國畫家，以靜物畫出名

but he did occasionally paint people.

不過他偶爾也會畫人像

And in fact, he painted four versions of this painting,

事實上，這幅畫他畫了四個版本

different boys building houses of cards, all concentrated.

不同版本裡的男孩都很專心地堆疊著

I like this version the best, because some of the boys

我最喜歡這個版本，因為其他版本的男孩

are older and some are younger, and to me, this one,

不是太老就是太年輕。對我而言，這個

like Goldilocks's porridge, is just right.

就像金髮小女孩的麥片粥（英語繪本童話）一樣，剛剛好

He's not quite a child, and he's not quite a man.

他不太像是個小孩，卻又還不能算是個大人

He's absolutely balanced between innocence and experience,

他的樣子恰好展現出純真與老成間的平衡

and that made me stop in my tracks in front of this painting.

這讓我佇足在這幅畫前觀賞

And I looked at his face. It's like a Vermeer painting a bit.

我看著他的臉，有點像維梅爾的畫

The light comes in from the left, his face is bathed

他的臉沈浸在從左邊照過來的光線中

in this glowing light. It's right in the center of the painting,

他就在這幅畫的中央

and you look at it, and I found that when I was looking at it,

而且你看，我發現當我看著他

I was standing there going,

我居然站在那裡說著

"Look at me. Please look at me."

看我！請看看我！

And he didn't look at me. He was still looking at his cards,

但他沒有看我，他還是看著他的卡片

and that's one of the seductive elements of this painting is,

這就是這幅畫的誘人的要素之一

he's so focused on what he's doing that he doesn't look at us.

他是如此專心在手上的工作以致於看都不看我們一眼

And that is, to me, the sign of a masterpiece,

這對我而言，是一幅畫的傑作的象徵

of a painting when there's a lack of resolution.

尤其是當我們對這幅畫缺乏解答的時候

He's never going to look at me.

他永遠都不會看我一眼

So I was thinking of a story where,

所以我構思了一個故事

if I'm in this position, who could be there looking at him?

如果我是那個小男孩，誰會在那裡看我？

Not the painter, I don't want to think about the painter.

不是這位畫家，我不想去想這位畫家

I'm thinking of an older version of himself.

我想的是這個男孩的大人版

He's a man, a servant, an older servant looking at this younger servant,

一個成年僕人，一個凝視著年輕一點的僕人的老一點的僕人

saying, "Look at me. I want to warn you about

說著：「看看我。我要警告你

what you're about to go through. Please look at me."

你將要經歷的人生。 請看看我。」

And he never does.

但他並沒有因為這樣就看著他

And that lack of resolution, the lack of resolution in "Girl with a Pearl Earring" --

這種無解的感覺，就像「戴珍珠的女孩」那種無解的感覺

we don't know if she's happy or sad.

我們不知道她是喜還是悲

I've written an entire novel about her,

即使我已針對她寫了一整本小說

and I still don't know if she's happy or sad.

我仍然不知道她是喜還是悲

Again and again, back to the painting,

我一次又一次地回去看這幅畫

looking for the answer, looking for the story to fill in that gap.

想找出答案，想找個故事來解釋這個缺口

And we may make a story, and it satisfies us momentarily,

我們當然可以編個故事來暫時滿足自己

but not really, and we come back again and again.

但卻沒有達到我們想要的效果，所以我們一次又一次地回來看

The last painting I'm going to talk about

我要談的最後一幅畫

is called "Anonymous" by anonymous. (Laughter)

叫做「無名氏 」，畫家也是「無名氏 」（笑聲）

This is a Tudor portrait bought by the National Portrait Gallery.

這幅都鐸時代的畫由英國國家肖像美術館買下

They thought it was a man named Sir Thomas Overbury,

他們原本以為這是詩人托馬斯·奧弗伯理爵士

and then they discovered that it wasn't him,

但是後來他們發現原來不是他

and they have no idea who it is.

而且他們也不知道這到底是誰

Now, in the National Portrait Gallery,

所以，在國家肖像美術館裡

if you don't know the biography of the painting,

如果你不知道一幅畫的背景

it's kind of useless to you.

對你而言這畫沒什麼用處

They can't hang it on the wall, because they don't know who he is.

這幅畫不能掛出來展覽，因為他們不知道他是誰

So unfortunately, this orphan spends most of his time in storage,

所以很不幸地這幅「孤兒」畫 大部分時間都跟其他一樣為數不少的

along with quite a number of other orphans,

「孤兒」畫一樣存放在儲藏室裡

some of them some beautiful paintings.

其中有些畫真的很漂亮

This painting made me stop in my tracks for three reasons:

這幅畫讓我停下來看的原因有三個

One is the disconnection between his mouth

第一是他嘴與眼的表情不一致

that's smiling and his eyes that are wistful.

他的嘴在微笑，但他的眼卻顯出哀愁

He's not happy, and why isn't he happy?

他並不快樂，而他為什麼不快樂？

The second thing that really attracted me

第二個很吸引我的原因

were his bright red cheeks.

是他亮紅色的雙頰

He is blushing. He's blushing for his portrait being made!

他臉紅了。他因為被畫而臉紅

This must be a guy who blushes all the time.

這個傢伙一定常常臉紅

What is he thinking about that's making him blush?

他到底想到什麼使他臉紅呢？

The third thing that made me stop in my tracks

第三個讓我停下腳步的原因

is his absolutely gorgeous doublet.

是他那件非常華麗的上衣

Silk, gray, those beautiful buttons.

絲綢，灰色，還有那些美麗的鈕扣

And you know what it makes me think of,

你知道這些讓我想到什麼嗎？

is it's sort of snug and puffy; it's like a duvet spread over a bed.

它看起來又貼又蓬，好像床上鋪的羽絨被

I kept thinking of beds and red cheeks,

我老是想到床和紅臉頰

and of course I kept thinking of sex when I looked at him,

當然，當我看著他我也總是聯想到性

and I thought, is that what he's thinking about?

而且我在想，他是不是也在想這個？

And I thought, if I'm going to make a story,

然後我想，如果我要根據他寫個故事

what's the last thing I'm going to put in there?

我最後要寫的是什麼？

Well, what would a Tudor gentleman be preoccupied with?

喔，都鐸時代的男性都在想什麼？

And I thought, well, Henry VIII, okay.

我想到亨利八世

He'd be preoccupied with his inheritance, with his heir.

他也許每天都在想誰能繼承他的位子

Who is going to inherit his name and his fortune?

誰將繼承他的名號及財富

You put all those together, and you've got your story

你如果把這些都放在一起，你的故事就可以

to fill in that gap that makes you keep coming back.

填補讓你一直反覆回來看畫的那些缺口

Now, here's the story.

那麼這就是我想到的故事

It's short.

很短

"Rosy"

「小紅玫」

I am still wearing the white brocade doublet Caroline gave me.

我仍然穿著卡洛琳送我的白色絲綢上衣

It has a plain high collar, detachable sleeves

它是件有著可拆式袖子的普通高領上衣

and intricate buttons of twisted silk thread,

還有著以絲線纏扭出的精緻鈕扣

set close together so that the fit is snug.

縫得很密，所以很貼身

The doublet makes me think of a coverlet on the vast bed.

這件緊身上衣使我想起床上的床罩

Perhaps that was the intention.

或許這就是她的意圖吧

I first wore it at an elaborate dinner her parents held in our honor.

我第一次穿它是在她父母為我們舉辦的豪華晚宴上

I knew even before I stood up to speak

我知道在我站起來發言之前

that my cheeks were inflamed.

我的雙頰紅得像火

I have always flushed easily, from physical exertion,

我總是很容易臉紅，不論是因為體力消耗

from wine, from high emotion.

喝酒，還是情緒激動

As a boy, I was teased by my sisters and by schoolboys,

就因為我是個男孩，所以我的姊妹及男生同學都嘲笑我

but not by George.

但是喬治卻沒有

Only George could call me Rosy.

只有喬治能叫我小紅玫

I would not allow anyone else.

我不讓別人這樣叫我

He managed to make the word tender.

他的叫法讓這個字聽起來很柔和

When I made the announcement, George did not

當我宣佈訂婚的消息時，喬治並沒有臉紅

turn rosy, but went pale as my doublet.

相反的，卻蒼白的像我的上衣

He should not have been surprised.

他不應該驚訝的

It has been a common assumption

大家都覺得很理所當然

that I would one day marry his cousin.

有一天我會娶他的表妹

But it is difficult to hear the words aloud.

但聽到正式宣佈這消息卻依然很難接受

I know, I could barely utter them.

我瞭解，我也很難啟齒

Afterwards, I found George on the terrace overlooking the kitchen garden.

之後我在能俯視廚房菜園的陽台上找到了喬治

Despite drinking steadily all afternoon, he was still pale.

儘管喝了一下午的酒，他看起來仍然蒼白

We stood together and watched the maids cut lettuces.

我們站在一起看著女僕切萵苣菜

"What do you think of my doublet?" I asked.

我問：「你喜歡我的緊身上衣嗎？」

He glanced at me. "That collar looks to be strangling you."

他瞧了我一眼說：「這個領子會掐死你。」

"We will still see each other," I insisted.

我很堅定地說：「我們還是可以見面的。」

"We can still hunt and play cards and attend court.

「我們還是可以一起打獵、玩牌、去宮廷。

Nothing need change."

一切如舊。」

George did not speak.

喬治沒有說什麼

"I am 23 years old. It is time for me to marry

「我已經23歲了，是該結婚了，

and produce an heir. It is expected of me."

也該生個子嗣繼承家業，這是大家的期望。」

George drained another glass of claret and turned to me.

喬治喝乾了另一杯紅酒，轉身面對我

"Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, James.

「恭喜你要結婚了，詹姆士。

I'm sure you'll be content together."

我深信你倆會很幸福。」

He never used my nickname again.

從此他不再叫我的小名

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Thank you.

謝謝大家

(Applause)

（掌聲）