Suheir Hammad: Poems of war, peace, women, power

Prevodilac: Sandra Gojic Lektor: Ivana Korom

"What I Will"

"What I Will"

I will not dance to your war drum.

Neću plesati uz vaš ratnički ritam.

I will not lend my soul nor my bones to your war drum.

Neću dati svoju dušu niti kosti vašem ratničkom bubnju.

I will not dance to that beating.

Neću plesati uz taj ritam.

I know that beat.

Znam ga.

It is lifeless.

Beživotan je.

I know intimately that skin you are hitting.

Dobro poznajem kožu koju udarate.

It was alive once,

Jednom je bila živa,

hunted, stolen,

lovljena, ukradena,

stretched.

razvučena.

I will not dance to your drummed-up war.

Neću plesati za vaš rat pod zvucima doboša.

I will not pop, spin, break for you.

Neću pevati, igrati, repovati za vas.

I will not hate for you

Neću mrzeti za vas

or even hate you.

pa ni vas.

I will not kill for you.

Neću ubijati za vas.

Especially I will not die for you.

Naročito neću umreti za vas.

I will not mourn the dead with murder nor suicide.

Neću oplakivati mrtve ubistvom ili samoubistvom.

I will not side with you or dance to bombs

Neću biti uz vas ili plesati uz bombe

because everyone is dancing.

zato što to svi rade.

Everyone can be wrong.

Svako može pogrešiti.

Life is a right, not collateral or casual.

Život je pravo, ne šteta ili žrtva.

I will not forget where I come from.

Neću zaboraviti odakle dolazim.

I will craft my own drum.

Izradiću sopstveni bubanj.

Gather my beloved near,

Okupiti svoje bližnje,

and our chanting will be dancing.

naše pevanje će biti ples.

Our humming will be drumming.

Naše pevušenje biće muziciranje.

I will not be played.

Nećete me izigrati.

I will not lend my name nor my rhythm to your beat.

Neću pozajmiti svoje ime niti ritam vašem.

I will dance and resist and dance and persist and dance.

Plesaću i odupreću se i plesati i istrajati i plesati.

This heartbeat is louder than death.

Ovaj otkucaj srca je glasniji od smrti.

Your war drum ain't louder

Vaš ratni bubanj nije glasniji

than this breath. Haaa.

od ovog daha. Haaa.

What's up TED people? Let me hear you make some noise.

Šta ima TED ljudi? Da vas čujem malo.

(Applause)

(aplauz)

A bunch of pacifists.

Gomila pacifista.

Confused, aspiring pacifists.

Zbunjenih, željnih pacifista.

I understand.

Razumem.

I've been wrong a lot lately.

Mnogo sam grešila u poslednje vreme.

Like a lot.

Baš mnogo.

So I couldn't figure out

Pa sam teško odlučila

what to read today.

šta da vam čitam danas.

I mean, I've been saying I've been prepping.

Mislim, govorila sam kako se pripremam.

What that means is prepping my outfit,

To znači da sam pripremala šta ću obući,

(Laughter)

(smeh)

prepping options,

pripremala opcije,

trying to figure out what I'm coming behind

pokušavala da shvatim posle čega dolazim

and going in front of.

i ispred čega dolazim.

Poetry does that.

Poezija vam to radi.

It preps you. It aims you.

Priprema vas. Usmerava.

So I am going to read a poem

Pročitaću pesmu

that was chosen just now.

koju sam upravo sada odabrala.

But I'm going to need you

Ali moraćete da sedite

to just sit for like 10 minutes

nekih desetak minuta

and hold a woman who is not here.

i mislite na ženu koja nije ovde.

Hold her now

Zamislite da

with you.

je ovde.

You don't need to say her name out loud, you can just hold her.

Ne morate reći njeno ime, samo mislite na nju.

Are you holding her?

Uspevate?

This is "Break Clustered."

Ovo je "Break Clustered."

All holy history banned.

Sva sveta istorija zabranjena.

Unwritten books predicted the future, projected the past.

Nepisane knjige predviđaše budućnost, projektovaše prošlost.

But my head unwraps

Ali ja shvatam

around what appears limitless,

ono što se čini bezgraničnim,

man's creative violence.

čovekovo kreativno nasilje.

Whose son shall it be?

Čiji sin je sledeći?

Which male child will perish a new day?

Koje muško dete će uništiti novi dan?

Our boys' deaths galvanize.

Smrti naših dečaka podstiču.

We cherish corpses.

Uzdižemo leševe.

We mourn women, complicated.

Tugujemo za ženama, složeno.

Bitches get beat daily.

Žene tuku svakodnevno.

Profits made, prophets ignored.

Proroke napravili, proroke ignorisali.

War and tooth, enameled salted lemon childhoods.

Rat i zubna gleđ, slano kiselo detinjstvo.

All colors run, none of us solid.

Svih smo boja, niko od nas ispunjen.

Don't look for shadow behind me. I carry it within.

Ne traži senku iza mene. Nosim je u sebi.

I live cycles of light and darkness.

Živim u smenama svetlosti i tame.

Rhythm is half silence.

Ritam je pola tišine.

I see now, I never was one and not the other.

Sada shvatam, nikada nisam bila jedno bez drugog.

Sickness, health, tender violence.

Bolest, zdravlje, blago nasilje.

I think now I never was pure.

Nikada nisam bila čista, sada znam.

Before form I was storm,

Pre oblika, bila sam oluja,

blind, ign'ant -- still am.

slepa, neuka - još uvek sam.

Human contracted itself blind, malignant.

Ljudsko biće zaslepljeno, otrovno.

I never was pure.

Nikad nisam bila čista.

Girl spoiled before ripened.

Devojka pokvarena pre nego je sazrela.

Language can't math me.

Jezik me ne može sabrati.

I experience exponentially.

Doživljavam eksponencijalno.

Everything is everything.

Sve je sve.

One woman loses 15, maybe 20, members of her family.

Žena izgubi 15, možda 20 članova svoje porodice.

One woman loses six.

Jedna žena izgubi šest.

One woman loses her head.

Jedna žena gubi svoju glavu.

One woman searches rubble. One woman feeds on trash.

Jedna žena traži po ruševinama. Druga jede smeće.

One woman shoots her face. One woman shoots her husband.

Jedna žena puca sebi u glavu. Druga ubija svog muža.

One woman straps herself.

Jedna žena se vezuje.

One woman gives birth to a baby.

Jedna žena rađa dete.

One woman gives birth to borders.

Jedna žena rađa granice.

One woman no longer believes love will ever find her.

Jedna ne veruje da će je ljubav ikada više pronaći.

One woman never did.

Jedna žena nikad nije.

Where do refugee hearts go?

Gde odlaze srca izbeglica?

Broken, dissed,

Slomljena, odbačena,

placed where they're not from, don't want to be missed.

smeštena gde ne pripadaju, ne žele da nedostaju.

Faced with absence.

Suočena sa odsustvom.

We mourn each one

Žalimo jedni za drugima

or we mean nothing at all.

ili ne značimo ni malo.

My spine curves spiral.

Moja kičma pravi spiralu.

Precipice running to and running from human beings.

Propast trči prema i od ljudskih bića.

Cluster bombs left behind.

Kasetne bombe ostaju.

De facto landmines.

Nagazne mine postaju.

A smoldering grief.

Tinjajuća tuga.

Harvest contaminated tobacco.

Žetva zagađenog duvana.

Harvest bombs.

Žetva bombi.

Harvest baby teeth.

Pobrani dečiji zubi.

Harvest palms, smoke.

Požnjevene palme, dim.

Harvest witness, smoke.

Oboreni svedoci, dim.

Resolutions, smoke.

Odluke, dim.

Salvation, smoke.

Spas, dim.

Redemption, smoke.

Iskupljenje, dim.

Breathe.

Diši.

Do not fear

Ne boj se

what has blown up.

onog što je dignuto u vazduh.

If you must,

Ako moraš,

fear the unexploded.

strahuj od neeksplodiranog.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(aplauz)