Suheir Hammad: Poems of war, peace, women, power

譯者: Wang-Ju Tsai 審譯者: Joyce Chou

"What I Will"

“我要的”

I will not dance to your war drum.

我不會隨你的戰鼓起舞

I will not lend my soul nor my bones to your war drum.

我不會出借我的靈魂身骨給你的戰鼓。

I will not dance to that beating.

我不會隨著那節奏翩翩起舞

I know that beat.

我很清楚那節奏。

It is lifeless.

沒有生命的節奏。

I know intimately that skin you are hitting.

我内心清楚你敲擊的那張皮

It was alive once,

從前是活著的

hunted, stolen,

而被獵殺、被竊取

stretched.

被綳緊。

I will not dance to your drummed-up war.

鼓聲隆隆的戰爭，我不會隨之起舞

I will not pop, spin, break for you.

我不會爲了你躍進、迴旋或崩壞

I will not hate for you

我不會為你而恨

or even hate you.

也不會恨你。

I will not kill for you.

我不會為你殺戮

Especially I will not die for you.

我更不會為你而死。

I will not mourn the dead with murder nor suicide.

我不會自殺，不會跟兇手一起悼念死者

I will not side with you or dance to bombs

我不會支持你也不會隨炸彈起舞

because everyone is dancing.

只是因爲每個人都在跳舞。

Everyone can be wrong.

每個人都會錯。

Life is a right, not collateral or casual.

生命是權利，不是附屬品或臨時的收容。

I will not forget where I come from.

我不會忘記我來自何方。

I will craft my own drum.

我會打造我自己的鼓

Gather my beloved near,

和我愛的人在一起

and our chanting will be dancing.

我們的歌頌是我們的舞

Our humming will be drumming.

我們的低吟是我們的鼓

I will not be played.

沒有人可以主宰我

I will not lend my name nor my rhythm to your beat.

你的戰鼓下不會包含我的名字和節奏。

I will dance and resist and dance and persist and dance.

我會起舞、抗拒、起舞、繼續、再起舞。

This heartbeat is louder than death.

我的心跳比死亡還要響亮

Your war drum ain't louder

你的戰鼓還比不過

than this breath. Haaa.

這個呼吸聲。哈...

What's up TED people? Let me hear you make some noise.

TED的人們，怎麽了？讓我聼聼你的反應

(Applause)

（掌聲）

A bunch of pacifists.

一票和平主義者

Confused, aspiring pacifists.

困惑的抱有大志的和平主義者

I understand.

我懂。

I've been wrong a lot lately.

最近以來我作錯很多

Like a lot.

像很多。

So I couldn't figure out

所以我無法理出

what to read today.

今天要讀些什麽。

I mean, I've been saying I've been prepping.

我是說，我一直說我在預習

What that means is prepping my outfit,

那是在說預習我的外觀

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

prepping options,

預習選項

trying to figure out what I'm coming behind

試著去理清我離開了什麽

and going in front of.

將要面對什麽。

Poetry does that.

詩可以

It preps you. It aims you.

讓人做好準備。讓人找到目標。

So I am going to read a poem

所以接下來我要讀一首詩

that was chosen just now.

一首剛剛選的詩

But I'm going to need you

但是我會需要你

to just sit for like 10 minutes

好好的坐10分鐘

and hold a woman who is not here.

抱著一個不在這裡的女人

Hold her now

現在就抱她

with you.

靠緊你。

You don't need to say her name out loud, you can just hold her.

你不需要說出她的名字，只需抱著她。

Are you holding her?

你在抱她嗎？

This is "Break Clustered."

這是“打破集束（炸彈）“

All holy history banned.

所有神聖的歷史都禁止。

Unwritten books predicted the future, projected the past.

不成文的書預測了未來，影射了過去

But my head unwraps

然而我的頭打開了

around what appears limitless,

那看起來永無止境

man's creative violence.

人們富創意的暴力。

Whose son shall it be?

那是誰的兒子？

Which male child will perish a new day?

誰家的男孩在這新的一天要死亡？

Our boys' deaths galvanize.

為我們孩子們的死亡鍍銀

We cherish corpses.

我們珍惜屍體

We mourn women, complicated.

我們哀悼女人，複雜。

Bitches get beat daily.

壞女人天天被打

Profits made, prophets ignored.

先知被創造、被忽略

War and tooth, enameled salted lemon childhoods.

戰爭和傷痛裝飾了鹹鹹檸檬般的童年

All colors run, none of us solid.

所有的顔色失真，所有的我們脆弱

Don't look for shadow behind me. I carry it within.

不必在我身後找尋背影。我一直帶著。

I live cycles of light and darkness.

我活在光明和黑暗的周期

Rhythm is half silence.

節奏的一半是寂靜。

I see now, I never was one and not the other.

我現在懂了，我從未是一個，也不是另一個。

Sickness, health, tender violence.

生病，健康，溫柔的暴力。

I think now I never was pure.

我現在認爲我從未純潔。

Before form I was storm,

在成型以前我是風暴

blind, ign'ant -- still am.

盲目、無知—如今仍是

Human contracted itself blind, malignant.

人們和盲目、惡意結夥

I never was pure.

我從未是純潔的

Girl spoiled before ripened.

女孩們在成熟前就被摧殘

Language can't math me.

你無法用言語來計算我

I experience exponentially.

我經歷了對數平方的事

Everything is everything.

一切是一切

One woman loses 15, maybe 20, members of her family.

一個女人家裏死了15或20個人

One woman loses six.

一個女人死了6個

One woman loses her head.

一個女人失去頭顱

One woman searches rubble. One woman feeds on trash.

一個女人找尋碎石。一個女人撿食垃圾。

One woman shoots her face. One woman shoots her husband.

一個女人開槍射自己的臉。一個女人射自己的丈夫。

One woman straps herself.

一個女人用皮帶捆綁自己

One woman gives birth to a baby.

一個女人生了一個小孩。

One woman gives birth to borders.

一個女人畫出新界綫

One woman no longer believes love will ever find her.

一個女人不再相信愛會再來

One woman never did.

一個女人從沒相信過愛。

Where do refugee hearts go?

流亡者的心都到哪去了？

Broken, dissed,

碎了，分崩離析

placed where they're not from, don't want to be missed.

被放在不是故鄉的地方，不想被思念。

Faced with absence.

面無表情的臉孔

We mourn each one

我們為彼此哀悼

or we mean nothing at all.

或者這根本不代表什麽。

My spine curves spiral.

我的脊椎迴旋

Precipice running to and running from human beings.

危境在人間忽隱忽現

Cluster bombs left behind.

集束炸彈留下了

De facto landmines.

現在的地雷

A smoldering grief.

暗自燃燒的悲傷。

Harvest contaminated tobacco.

收集污染煙草

Harvest bombs.

收集炸彈

Harvest baby teeth.

收集嬰孩牙齒

Harvest palms, smoke.

收集斷掌，煙霧

Harvest witness, smoke.

收集證人，煙霧

Resolutions, smoke.

決議文，煙霧

Salvation, smoke.

救世，煙霧

Redemption, smoke.

償還，煙霧。

Breathe.

吸氣

Do not fear

別害怕

what has blown up.

已經爆炸的

If you must,

如果真的要的話

fear the unexploded.

那麽就害怕未爆炸的吧。

Thank you.

謝謝大家

(Applause)

（掌聲）