Why 30 is not the new 20 | Meg Jay

4,265,207 views ・ 2013-05-13

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00:00
Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast
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Translator: Anja Pogacnik Reviewer: Rok Krulec
00:12
When I was in my 20s,
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Ko sem bila v svojih dvajsetih
00:14
I saw my very first psychotherapy client.
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sem imela prvo psihoterapevtsko stranko.
00:18
I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.
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Jaz sem bila doktorska študentka klinične psihologije na Berkeleyju.
Ona je bila 26-letnica po imenu Alex.
00:22
She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.
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00:26
Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top,
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Alex je prišla na svojo prvo seanso
oblečena v kavbojke in veliko, visečo majico
00:30
and she dropped onto the couch in my office
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in se vrgla na kavč v moji pisarni,
00:33
and kicked off her flats
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brcnila z nog svoje natikače
00:34
and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.
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in mi rekla, da se hoče pogovarjati o svojih težavah s fanti.
00:38
Now when I heard this, I was so relieved.
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Ko sem to slišala, mi je res odleglo.
Moja sošolka je dobila za svojo prvo stranko požigalca.
00:43
My classmate got an arsonist for her first client.
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00:46
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
00:47
And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.
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In jaz sem dobila dvajset-in-nekaj-letnico, ki se je hotela pogovarjati o fantih.
00:52
This I thought I could handle.
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Mislila sem, da bom to zmogla.
00:55
But I didn't handle it.
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A nisem zmogla.
00:57
With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,
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S smešnimi zgodbami, ki jih je Alex pripovedovala na seansah,
je bilo lahko samo prikimavati,
01:00
it was easy for me just to nod my head
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medtem ko sva se vrteli kot mački okoli vrele kaše.
01:02
while we kicked the can down the road.
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01:04
"Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say,
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"Trideseta so nova dvajseta," je govorila Alex,
01:06
and as far as I could tell, she was right.
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in če ste vprašali mene, je imela prav.
01:09
Work happened later, marriage happened later,
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Služba se je dogajala kasneje, zakoni so se dogajali kasneje,
01:11
kids happened later, even death happened later.
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otroci so se zgodili kasneje, celo smrt se je zgodila kasneje.
01:15
Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.
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Dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki kot Alex in jaz niso imeli drugega kot čas.
01:20
But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.
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A kmalu je moj nadzornik zahteval,
da se z Alex pogovorim o njenem ljubezenskem življenju.
01:26
I pushed back.
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Uprla sem se.
Rekla sem: "Seveda, hodi s slabšimi od sebe,
01:28
I said, "Sure, she's dating down,
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01:30
she's sleeping with a knucklehead,
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spi z navadnim butcem,
01:33
but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."
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ampak saj se ne bo poročila z njim."
01:36
And then my supervisor said,
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In potem je moj nadzornik rekel:
01:38
"Not yet, but she might marry the next one.
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"Ne še, a morda se bo poročila z naslednjim.
01:42
Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage
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Poleg tega, najboljši čas, da delaš z Alex na njenem zakonu,
01:46
is before she has one."
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je preden ga ima."
01:50
That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment.
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To je to, kar psihologi imenujejo "Aha!" trenutek.
01:53
That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20.
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To je bil trenutek, ko sem spoznala, da trideseta niso nova dvajseta.
01:56
Yes, people settle down later than they used to,
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Res je, ljudje se ustalijo kasneje kot v preteklosti,
01:59
but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.
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a to še ne pomeni, da so Alexina dvajseta razvojni premor.
02:03
That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot,
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To je pomenilo, da so Alexina dvajseta najboljši razvoji trenutek
02:07
and we were sitting there, blowing it.
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in midve sva tam sedeli in ga zapravljali.
02:10
That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect
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Takrat sem spoznala, da je takšno nedolžno zanemarjanje
02:14
was a real problem, and it had real consequences,
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resnični problem z resničnimi posledicami,
02:18
not just for Alex and her love life
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ne samo za Alex in njeno ljubezensko življenje,
02:20
but for the careers and the families and the futures
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temveč tudi za kariere, družine in prihodnosti
02:23
of twentysomethings everywhere.
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dvajset-in-nekaj-letnikov vsepovsod.
02:27
There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now.
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Kar 50 milijonom dvajset-in-nekaj-letnikov
je v Združenih državah Amerike.
02:31
We're talking about 15 percent of the population,
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Govorimo o 15 % prebivalstva
02:35
or 100 percent if you consider
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oziroma o 100 %, če upoštevamo,
02:38
that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.
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da nihče ni odrasel,
ne da bi šel najprej skozi svoja dvajseta.
02:42
(Laughter)
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02:43
Raise your hand if you're in your 20s.
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Dvignite roko, če ste v svojih dvajsetih.
02:45
I really want to see some twentysomethings here.
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Res bi rada videla nekaj dvajset-in-nekaj-letnikov tukaj.
O, juhej! Vi vsi ste super!
02:48
Oh, yay! You are all awesome.
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02:49
If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething,
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Če delate z dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki, imate radi dvajset-in-nekaj-letnika,
02:53
you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see —
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izgubljate spanec zaradi dvajset-in-nekaj-letnika, dvignite...
02:56
Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.
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V redu. Odlično, dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki so res pomembni.
Specializiram se za dvajset-in-nekaj-letnike, ker verjamem,
03:01
So, I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe
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03:04
that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings
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da si čisto vsak izmed tistih 50 milijonov dvajset-in-nekaj-letnikov
03:08
deserves to know what psychologists,
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zasluži vedeti, kar psihologi,
03:11
sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists
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sociologi, nevrologi in plodnostni strokovnjaki
03:15
already know:
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že vedo:
03:17
that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest,
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da je prilaščanje svojih dvajsetih najenostavnejša,
03:20
yet most transformative, things you can do
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a vseeno najbolj transformativna stvar, ki jo lahko naredite
03:23
for work, for love, for your happiness,
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za svoje delo, ljubezen, za svojo srečo,
03:25
maybe even for the world.
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morda celo za svet.
03:28
This is not my opinion.
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To ni moje mnenje. To so dejstva.
03:30
These are the facts.
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03:33
We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments
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Vemo, da se 80 % najpomembnejših življenjskih dogodkov
03:36
take place by age 35.
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zgodi pred 35. letom.
03:39
That means that eight out of 10
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To pomeni, da se bo 8 izmed 10. odločitev,
03:42
of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments
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izkušenj in "Aha!" trenutkov,
03:45
that make your life what it is
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ki naredijo vaše življenje to kar je,
03:47
will have happened by your mid-30s.
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zgodilo do sredine vaših tridesetih let.
03:50
People who are over 40, don't panic.
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Tisti, ki ste čez 40, ne paničarite.
03:52
This crowd is going to be fine, I think.
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Mislim, da tejle množici ne bo hudega.
03:55
We know that the first 10 years of a career
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Vemo, da ima prvih 10 let kariere
03:58
has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn.
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eksponentni vpliv
na količino denarja, ki jo boste zaslužili.
04:02
We know that more than half of Americans
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Vemo, da je več kot polovica Američanov
04:04
are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.
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poročena, živi ali hodi
s svojim bodočim partnerjem do 30. leta.
04:09
We know that the brain caps off
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Vemo, da možgani izbruhnejo v drugi
04:11
its second and last growth spurt in your 20s
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in zadnji rasti v vaših dvajsetih,
04:14
as it rewires itself for adulthood,
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ko se pripravljajo za odraslost,
04:17
which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself,
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kar pomeni, da karkoli želite spremeniti na sebi,
04:21
now is the time to change it.
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je zdaj pravi trenutek za to.
04:24
We know that personality changes more during your 20s
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Vemo, da se osebnost spremeni bolj v vaših dvajsetih,
04:27
than at any other time in life,
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kot v katerem koli drugem življenjskem obdobju,
04:30
and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28,
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ter vemo, da ženska plodnost doseže vrhunec pri 28. letu,
04:34
and things get tricky after age 35.
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in da se stvari zapletejo po 35. letu.
Vaša dvajseta so torej čas, da se izobrazite
04:38
So your 20s are the time to educate yourself
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04:40
about your body and your options.
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o vašem telesu in vaših možnostih.
04:44
So when we think about child development,
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Ko torej pomislimo na otroški razvoj
04:46
we all know that the first five years are a critical period
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vsi vemo, da je prvih pet let kritičnih
04:50
for language and attachment in the brain.
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za razvoj jezika in navezanosti v možganih.
04:54
It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life
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To je čas, ko ima vaše običajno, vsakodnevno življenje
04:57
has an inordinate impact on who you will become.
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neobičajen vpliv na to kar boste postali.
A manj pogosto slišimo, da obstaja
05:02
But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing
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05:04
as adult development,
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odrasli razvoj, in da so naša dvajseta
05:05
and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.
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kritično obdobje odraslega razvoja.
05:11
But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing.
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A dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki tega ne slišijo pogosto.
05:14
Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.
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Časopisi pišejo o spremenjenem razporedu odraslosti.
05:19
Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence.
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Raziskovalci imenujejo dvajseta podaljšana mladost.
05:22
Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings
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Novinarji si zmišljujejo smešne vzdevke za dvajset-in-nekaj-letnike,
05:25
like "twixters" and "kidults."
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kot so "tviksterji" in "otrokodrasli."
05:28
(Laughing) It's true!
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Zares.
05:30
As a culture, we have trivialized
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Kot kultura smo pripisali nepomembnost nečemu,
05:33
what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.
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kar je odločilno desetletje odraslosti.
05:39
Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things,
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Leonard Bernstein je rekel, da za dosego velikih stvari,
05:42
you need a plan and not quite enough time.
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potrebuješ načrt in ravno premalo časa.
05:46
(Laughing) Isn't that true?
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Kaj ni to res?
05:48
So what do you think happens
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Torej kaj mislite, da se zgodi,
05:49
when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say,
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ko potrepljaš dvajset-in-nekaj-letnika po glavi in rečeš,
05:52
"You have 10 extra years to start your life"?
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"Imaš 10 dodatnih let, da začneš svoje življenje"?
Nič se ne zgodi.
05:56
Nothing happens.
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To osebo ste oropali občutka nuje in ambicije
05:58
You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition,
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06:01
and absolutely nothing happens.
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in zgodi se popolnoma nič.
06:04
And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings
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Tako vsak dan pametni, zanimivi dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki,
06:08
like you or like your sons and daughters
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kot ste vi, vaši sinovi ali hčere,
06:11
come into my office and say things like this:
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pridejo v mojo pisarno in govorijo takšne stvari:
06:16
"I know my boyfriend's no good for me,
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"Vem, da moj fant ni primeren zame,
06:18
but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time."
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ampak to razmerje se ne šteje. Samo zapravljam čas."
06:22
Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started
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Ali rečejo, "Vsi pravijo, da dokler začnem
06:25
on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine."
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s kariero do 30. leta, bo vse v redu."
06:29
But then it starts to sound like this:
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Ampak potem začne zveneti bolj kot:
06:32
"My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself.
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"Moja dvajseta so skoraj že za mano in nič nimam kar bi lahko pokazala.
06:36
I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college."
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Imela sem boljši življenjepis na dan, ko sem diplomirala."
06:41
And then it starts to sound like this:
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In potem se spremeni v:
06:44
"Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.
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"Zmenkarjenje v mojih dvajsetih je bilo kot 'ples s stoli.'
06:46
Everybody was running around and having fun,
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Vsi smo se podili naokrog in se zabavali,
06:49
but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off
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potem pa je okoli 30. glasba ugasnila
06:52
and everybody started sitting down.
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in vsi so se začeli usedati.
06:55
I didn't want to be the only one left standing up,
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Nisem hotela biti edina brez stola,
06:57
so sometimes I think I married my husband
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zato včasih mislim, da sem se poročila s svojim možem,
06:59
because he was the closest chair to me at 30."
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ker je bil najbližji stol, ko sem dopolnila 30."
07:03
Where are the twentysomethings here?
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Kje so dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki?
07:05
Do not do that.
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Ne delajte tega!
07:07
(Laughter)
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07:09
Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake,
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V redu, to se sliši nekoliko pretirano, ampak nikar se ne slepite,
07:12
the stakes are very high.
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tveganja so velika.
Ko se približujete tridesetim,
07:15
When a lot has been pushed to your 30s,
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07:17
there is enormous thirtysomething pressure
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se pojavi gromozanski pritisk tridesetih,
07:19
to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up,
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da začnete svojo kariero, si izberete mesto, partnerja
07:23
and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.
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in imate dva ali tri otroke v veliko krajšem času.
07:27
Many of these things are incompatible,
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Veliko teh stvari je nezdružljivih
07:29
and as research is just starting to show,
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in raziskave začenjajo kazati,
07:32
simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.
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da jih je veliko težje in bolj stresno
opravljati vse naenkrat v naših tridesetih.
07:38
The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.
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Kriza srednjih let v novem tisočletju
ni kupovanje rdečega športnega avtomobila.
07:43
It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.
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Je spoznanje, da ne morete imeti kariere, ki si jo sedaj želite.
07:48
It's realizing you can't have that child you now want,
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Je spoznanje, da ne morete imeti otroka, ki si ga sedaj želite,
07:51
or you can't give your child a sibling.
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ali da svojemu otroku ne morete dati brata ali sestre.
07:55
Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings
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Preveč trideset- in štirideset-in-nekaj-letnikov
07:57
look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room,
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gleda sebe in mene, ki sedim nasproti njih,
08:01
and say about their 20s,
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in rečejo o svojih dvajsetih:
08:03
"What was I doing? What was I thinking?"
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"Kaj sem delala? Kaj sem razmišljala?"
08:09
I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.
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Želim spremeniti kar dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki
delajo in razmišljajo.
08:13
Here's a story about how that can go.
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Povem vam zgodbo kako se lahko to spremeni.
08:15
It's a story about a woman named Emma.
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Zgodbo o ženski po imenu Emma.
08:19
At 25, Emma came to my office
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Kot 25-letnica je Emma prišla v mojo pisarno,
08:21
because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis.
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ker je imela, kot je rekla sama, krizo identitete.
Rekla je, da bi morda rada delala v umetnosti
08:27
She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment,
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ali zabavni industriji, vendar se še ni odločila,
08:30
but she hadn't decided yet,
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08:32
so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.
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zato je preteklih nekaj let delala kot natakarica.
Ker je bilo ceneje, je živela s fantom,
08:37
Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend
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08:39
who displayed his temper more than his ambition.
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ki je bolj razkazoval svojo vzkipljivost kot ambicije.
08:43
And as hard as her 20s were,
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Njena dvajseta so bila težka,
08:45
her early life had been even harder.
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a še bolj težko je bilo njeno otroštvo.
Pogosto je jokala na najinih seansah,
08:48
She often cried in our sessions,
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08:50
but then would collect herself by saying,
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potem pa se je ponavadi zbrala z besedami:
08:52
"You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."
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"Ne moreš si izbrati družine, lahko pa si izbereš prijatelje."
08:57
Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap,
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Nekega dne Emma vstopi,
položi glavo v svoje naročje
09:00
and she sobbed for most of the hour.
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in joče večino najine ure.
09:04
She'd just bought a new address book,
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Ravnokar je kupila novi žepni imenik
09:06
and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts,
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in jutro je preživela ob vpisovanju svojih številnih kontaktov,
09:09
but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank
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potem pa je strmela v prazni prostor,
09:12
that comes after the words
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ki pride po besedah
09:14
"In case of emergency, please call ..."
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"V nujnem primeru pokličite..."
09:18
She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said,
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Bila je skoraj histerična, ko me je pogledala in rekla:
09:21
"Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck?
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"Kdo bo prišel, če me bo zbil avto?
09:24
Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?"
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Kdo bo skrbel zame, če bom imela raka?"
09:29
Now in that moment, it took everything I had
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V tistem trenutku sem mogla zbrati vso svojo moč,
09:31
not to say, "I will."
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da nisem rekla "Jaz."
Vendar Emma ni potrebovala terapevta,
09:34
But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared.
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ki ga resnično skrbi.
09:38
Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance.
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Emma je potrebovala boljše življenje in vedela sem, da je bila to njena priložnost.
09:43
I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex
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Odkar sem prvič delala z Alex, sem se naučila preveč,
09:46
to just sit there while Emma's defining decade
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da bi samo sedela in pustila, da gre Emmino odločilno desetletje
s fanfarami mimo naju.
09:50
went parading by.
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09:53
So over the next weeks and months,
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Tekom naslednjih tednov in mesecev
09:55
I told Emma three things
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sem povedala Emmi
tri stvari, ki si jih vsak dvajset-in-nekaj-letnik, naj bo moški ali ženska,
09:57
that every twentysomething, male or female,
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10:00
deserves to hear.
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zasluži vedeti.
10:03
First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis
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Najprej sem ji rekla, naj pozabi na krizo identitete
10:08
and get some identity capital.
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in si raje pridobi nekaj identitetnega kapitala.
10:11
By "get identity capital,"
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Z identitetnim kapitalom mislim na stvari,
10:12
I mean do something that adds value to who you are.
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ki dodajo vrednost tvoji osebnosti.
10:17
Do something that's an investment
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Naredi nekaj, kar bo investicija
10:19
in who you might want to be next.
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v osebo, ki morda želiš postati.
10:22
I didn't know the future of Emma's career,
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Nisem poznala prihodnosti Emmine kariere
10:24
and no one knows the future of work,
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in nihče ne pozna prihodnosti dela, a vem to:
10:27
but I do know this:
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10:28
Identity capital begets identity capital.
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Identitetni kapital poraja identitetni kapital.
10:32
So now is the time for that cross-country job,
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Zdaj je torej čas za tisto službo nekje daleč,
10:35
that internship, that startup you want to try.
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tisto pripravništvo, tisto podjetje, ki ga želiš začeti.
10:38
I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here,
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Ne zavračam raziskovanja dvajset-in-nekaj-letnikov,
10:42
but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count,
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zavračam pa raziskovanje, ki ni namenjeno ničemur,
ki tako ali tako ni raziskovanje.
10:47
which, by the way, is not exploration.
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10:49
That's procrastination.
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To je zavlačevanje.
10:52
I told Emma to explore work and make it count.
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Emmi sem rekla, naj razišče delovne možnosti in jih izkoristi.
10:58
Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated.
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Kot drugo, sem Emmi povedala, da je urbano pleme precenjeno.
11:03
Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport,
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Najboljši prijatelji so super, ko rabiš prevoz do letališča,
11:06
but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers
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vendar dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki, ki se gnetejo
s podobno mislečimi vrstniki, omejijo svoja poznanstva,
11:10
limit who they know,
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svoje znanje, svoje razmišljanje, svoj govor
11:12
what they know, how they think,
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11:14
how they speak, and where they work.
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in svoja delovna mesta.
11:18
That new piece of capital, that new person to date
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Tisti novi delček kapitala, tista nova oseba za zmenke,
11:20
almost always comes from outside the inner circle.
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skoraj vedno pride izven stalne družbe.
11:24
New things come from what are called our weak ties,
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Nove stvari pridejo iz tako imenovanih šibkih vezi,
11:27
our friends of friends of friends.
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naši prijatelji od prijateljev od prijateljev.
11:30
So yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed.
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Res je, polovica dvajset-in-nekaj-letnikov je brez- ali podpovoprečno zaposlena.
11:35
But half aren't,
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Vendar polovica jih ni in šibke vezi
11:37
and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.
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so vstopnica v to skupino.
11:40
Half of new jobs are never posted,
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Polovica novih delovnih mest ni nikoli razpisanih,
11:43
so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that unposted job.
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zato je pogovor s sosedovim šefom
način, kako dobiš tisto neobjavljeno službo.
11:48
It's not cheating. It's the science of how information spreads.
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To ni goljufanje. Je znanost o širjenju informacij.
11:53
Last but not least, Emma believed
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In še kot zadnje, Emma je verjela,
11:55
that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.
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da si ne moreš izbrati družine, lahko pa si izbereš prijatelje.
11:59
Now this was true for her growing up,
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To je bilo res, ko je odraščala,
12:01
but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family
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vendar si bo Emma kot dvajset-in-nekaj-letnica kmalu izbrala svojo družino,
ko si bo izbrala partnerja
12:04
when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.
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in začela svojo družino.
Emmi sem rekla, da je zdaj čas za izbiranje družine.
12:09
I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now.
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12:14
Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down
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Morda mislite, da je pri tridesetih
boljši čas, da se ustalite
12:18
than 20, or even 25,
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kot pri dvajsetih ali celo petindvajsetih
12:21
and I agree with you.
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in jaz se strinjam.
12:23
But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with
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Vendar to, da pograbite tistega s katerim slučajno živite ali spite,
12:26
when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle
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ko vsi na Facebooku začnejo hoditi proti oltarju,
12:29
is not progress.
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ni napredek.
12:32
The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one,
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Najboljši čas, da delate na svojem zakonu,
je preden ga imate
12:36
and that means being as intentional with love
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in to pomeni, da ste z ljubeznijo prav tako namerni,
12:39
as you are with work.
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kot ste z delom.
12:41
Picking your family is about consciously choosing
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Izbira družine je zavestna odločitev
12:44
who and what you want
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koga in kaj si želite,
12:46
rather than just making it work or killing time
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ne le vztrajanje ali zapravljanje časa
z osebo, ki si je slučajno izbrala vas.
12:50
with whoever happens to be choosing you.
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12:53
So what happened to Emma?
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Kaj se je torej zgodilo z Emmo?
Šli sva skozi njen žepni imenik
12:56
Well, we went through that address book,
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in našla je bratranca bivše cimre,
12:58
and she found an old roommate's cousin
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13:00
who worked at an art museum in another state.
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ki je delal v galeriji v drugi zvezni državi.
13:03
That weak tie helped her get a job there.
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Ta šibka vez ji je pomagala dobiti službo tam.
13:06
That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.
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Ta ponudba za službo ji je dala razlog,
da je zapustila fanta s katerim je živela.
Danes, pet let pozneje, je organizatorka posebnih dogodkov za muzeje.
13:11
Now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums.
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Poročena je z moškim, ki ga je zavestno izbrala.
13:15
She's married to a man she mindfully chose.
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13:18
She loves her new career, she loves her new family,
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Obožuje svojo novo kariero, obožuje svojo novo družino
in poslala mi je razglednico na kateri je pisalo:
13:21
and she sent me a card that said,
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13:23
"Now the emergency contact blanks
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"Zdaj se mi prostori za kontakte v nujnih primerih
13:25
don't seem big enough."
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ne zdijo dovolj veliki."
13:29
Now Emma's story made that sound easy,
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Emmina zgodba zveni preprosto
13:31
but that's what I love about working with twentysomethings.
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in ravno to obožujem pri delu z dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki.
13:34
They are so easy to help.
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Tako lahko jim je pomagati.
13:36
Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX,
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Dvajset-in-nekaj-letniki so kot letala, ki ravno zapuščajo letališče v Los Angelesu,
13:40
bound for somewhere west.
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namenjena nekam na zahod.
13:43
Right after takeoff, a slight change in course
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Takoj po vzletu majhna sprememba smeri
13:46
is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.
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pomeni razliko med pristankom na Aljaski ali Fidžiju.
13:51
Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29,
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Podobno lahko ima pri 21. ali 25. ali celo 29.
13:56
one good conversation, one good break,
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en dober pogovor, en dober odmor,
13:59
one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect
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en dober TED govor ogromen učinek
14:03
across years and even generations to come.
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na leta ali celo generacije, ki šele pridejo.
14:07
So here's an idea worth spreading
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Tukaj je torej ideja vredna širjenja
14:09
to every twentysomething you know.
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vsakemu dvajset-in-nekaj-letniku, ki ga poznate.
14:12
It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex.
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Je preprosto kot tisto, kar sem se naučila reči Alex.
14:15
It's what I now have the privilege
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Je tisto, kar imam privilegij
14:17
of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day:
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reči dvajset-in-nekaj-letnikom, kot je Emma, vsak dan:
14:22
Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood,
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Trideseta niso nova dvajseta, zato si prilastite svojo odraslost,
14:26
get some identity capital, use your weak ties,
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pridobite nekaj identitetnega kapitala, uporabite svoje šibke vezi,
14:29
pick your family.
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izberite si družino.
14:32
Don't be defined by what you didn't know
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Naj vas ne opredeli tisto, česar niste vedeli
14:34
or didn't do.
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ali niste naredili.
O svojem življenju odločate ta trenutek.
14:36
You're deciding your life right now.
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14:39
Thank you.
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Hvala.
14:40
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
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