Why 30 is not the new 20 | Meg Jay

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Translator: Sven KBach Reviewer: Majgrit Kallavus

When I was in my 20s,

Kui ma olin 20ndates,

I saw my very first psychotherapy client.

kohtusin ma oma esimese psühhoteraapia patsiendiga.

I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.

Tol hetkel olin ma PhD tudeng Berkeley-s kliinilise psühholoogia erialal.

She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.

Patsient oli 26-aastane naine, nimega Alex.

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top,

Alex tuli seansile, jalas teksad ja seljas suur lodev särk.

and she dropped onto the couch in my office

Ta prantsatas mu kabineti sohvale

and kicked off her flats

ning viskas jalast tuhvlid

and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.

ja ütles mulle, et ta on siin suhteprobleemi pärast.

Now when I heard this, I was so relieved.

Kui ma kuulsin seda, tundsin ma kergendust.

My classmate got an arsonist for her first client.

Mu kaastudengile sattus esimeseks patsiendiks süütaja.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.

Ja mulle sattus mingi 20-aastane, kes tahtis rääkida poistest.

This I thought I could handle.

Ma arvasin, et ma saan sellega hakkama.

But I didn't handle it.

Aga tegelikult mitte.

With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,

Kõik need naljakad lood, mida Alex rääkis,

it was easy for me just to nod my head

ma lihtsalt noogutasin kaasa,

while we kicked the can down the road.

kuniks me veeretasime palli edasi-tagasi.

"Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say,

"30 on uus 20", ütles Alex

and as far as I could tell, she was right.

ning nii palju, kui mina oskan öelda, oli tal õigus.

Work happened later, marriage happened later,

Tööle asutakse hiljem, abiellutakse hiljem,

kids happened later, even death happened later.

lapsed tulevad hiljem, sest isegi surm tuleb hiljem.

Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.

20ndates inimestel, nagu Alex ja mina, polnudki muud kui vaid aeg.

But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.

Varsti aga käis mu juhendaja peale, et ma nõuaks Alexilt oma suhtega tegelemist.

I pushed back.

Ma tõrkusin vastu.

I said, "Sure, she's dating down,

Ma ütlesin: "Jah, ta käib kohtamas ja magab jobuga,

she's sleeping with a knucklehead,

but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."

aga ta ju otseselt ei taha abielluda temaga hetkel".

And then my supervisor said,

Ning mu juhendaja ütles:

"Not yet, but she might marry the next one.

"Praegu mitte, aga ta võib seda ju teha järgmise samasugusega".

Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage

"Pealegi, parim on ennetada selliseid asju praegu,

is before she has one."

kui hakata tulemiga hiljem tegelema".

That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment.

See on see hetk, mida psühholoogid kutsuvad "Ahaa!" momendiks.

That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20.

Sellel hetkel ma sain aru, et 30ndad pole uued 20ndad.

Yes, people settle down later than they used to,

Jah, inimesed leiavad kaaslase hiljem kui vanasti,

but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.

see aga ei tähendanud, et Alex poleks pidanud 20selt enda kallal tööd tegema.

That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot,

See just tähendas Alexi jaoks parimat aega enda kallal töötamiseks.

and we were sitting there, blowing it.

Ja nii me istusime, veeretades palli, nentides fakti.

That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect

Selle protsessi käigus ma sain aru, et sellist sorti loomuomane hoolimatus

was a real problem, and it had real consequences,

on väga suur probleem, millel on tõsised tagajärjed,

not just for Alex and her love life

mitte ainult Alexile ja tema suhetele,

but for the careers and the families and the futures

vaid üleüldiselt inimestele 20ndates. Nende karjäärile, peredele

of twentysomethings everywhere.

ja kogu tulevikule.

There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now.

Ainuüksi Ameerikas on 50 miljonit inimest vanuses 20-30.

We're talking about 15 percent of the population,

See on 15 protsenti kogu ühiskonnast.

or 100 percent if you consider

Või siis 100%, kui arvestada seda,

that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.

et me kõik peame läbima 20ndad, enne kui täiskasvanuks saame.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Raise your hand if you're in your 20s.

Palun tõstke käsi, kes on vanuses 20-30.

I really want to see some twentysomethings here.

Ma tõesti loodan näha kedagi selles vanuses siin.

Oh, yay! You are all awesome.

Oh, tore! Te olete ägedad.

If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething,

Nüüd! Ma tahaks tõesti näha, kui sa töötad selles eas inimestega,

you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see —

sa armastad kedagi selles eas või muretsed nende pärast.

Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.

Okei. Lahe, 20ndates inimesed tõesti tähendavad teile midagi.

So, I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe

Niisiis, ma olen spetsialiseerunud selles eas inimestele, kuna ma usun,

that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings

et igaüks nendest 50 miljonist inimesest vanuses 20-30

deserves to know what psychologists,

väärivad teadvustamist, mida selles eas inimeste kohta juba teavad

sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists

sotsioloogid, neuroloogid ja viljastuseksperdid:

already know:

that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest,

20ndates oma elu üle kontrolli võtmine on üks kõige lihtsamaid,

yet most transformative, things you can do

samas edasiviivamaid asju, mida sa teha saad

for work, for love, for your happiness,

oma karjääri, armastuse ja õnne jaoks,

maybe even for the world.

võibolla isegi terve maailma jaoks.

This is not my opinion.

See ei ole ainult minu arvamus.

These are the facts.

Need on faktid.

We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments

Me teame, et 80% elu kõige tähtsamatest sündmustest

take place by age 35.

juhtuvad enne 35-aastaseks saamist.

That means that eight out of 10

See tähendab, et 8-l juhul 10-st

of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments

kõikidest otsustest ja kogemustest ja "Ahaa!" momentidest,

that make your life what it is

mis muudavad su elu,

will have happened by your mid-30s.

on juhtunud 30ndate keskpaigaks.

People who are over 40, don't panic.

Inimesed, kes on üle 40, ei torma.

This crowd is going to be fine, I think.

Ma usun, et rahvas siin on sellega nõus.

We know that the first 10 years of a career

Me teame, et 10 esimest aastat sinu karjääris

has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn.

on eksponentsiaalse mõjuga sellele, kui suur hakkab sinu sissetulek olema.

We know that more than half of Americans

Me teame, et enam kui pooled ameeriklastest

are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.

on abielus, elavad koos või kohtuvad oma tulevikupartneriga ajaks, mil nad saavad 30.

We know that the brain caps off

Me teame, et aju alustab

its second and last growth spurt in your 20s

oma teist ja viimast arenguspurti 20ndates.

as it rewires itself for adulthood,

See on aeg, kui toimub ümberseadistamine täiskasvanueluks,

which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself,

mis tähendab, et mida iganes sa soovid muuta enda juures,

now is the time to change it.

siis see on see aeg seda teha.

We know that personality changes more during your 20s

Me teame, et iseloom muutub rohkem su 20ndates,

than at any other time in life,

kui ükstapuha mis muul ajal su elus.

and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28,

Ning me teame, et naiste viljakuse kõrgtase saavutatakse 28-aastasena,

and things get tricky after age 35.

ja et asjad lähevad keeruliseks peale 35.

So your 20s are the time to educate yourself

Seega sinu 20ndad on aeg ennast harida,

about your body and your options.

oma keha ja valikute osas.

So when we think about child development,

Niisiis, kui me mõtleme laste arengule,

we all know that the first five years are a critical period

siis me teame, et esimesed 5 aastat on kriitilise tähtsusega

for language and attachment in the brain.

keele ja informatsiooni kinnistamiseks ajus.

It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life

See on aeg, kui su harilik igapäevaelu

has an inordinate impact on who you will become.

omab äärmuslikku mõju sellele, milliseks sa saad.

But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing

Aga mida me väga vähe kuuleme, on see, et on olemas

as adult development,

areng täiskasvanueas

and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.

ja meie 20ndad on kriitiline aeg täisea arengus.

But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing.

Aga see kõik on see, mida 20ndates inimestele ei räägita.

Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.

Uudistes räägitakse täisea nihutamisest.

Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence.

Teadlased kutsuvad 20ndaid pikendatud nooruseaks.

Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings

Ajakirjanikud kasutavad jaburaid termineid, kirjeldamaks 20ndaid

like "twixters" and "kidults."

nagu "pool-täiskasvanud" ja "lapsmees".

(Laughing) It's true!

(Naer) See on tõsi!

As a culture, we have trivialized

Kogu ühiskond on hakanud vähem hindama

what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.

aega, mis on nii oluline täisikka jõudmiseks.

Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things,

Leonard Bernstein on öelnud,

you need a plan and not quite enough time.

et saavutada suuri eesmärke, on sul vaja plaani ja mitte liiga palju aega.

(Laughing) Isn't that true?

(naer) Kas see pole mitte õigesti öeldud?

So what do you think happens

Nii et, mis te arvate juhtuks,

when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say,

kui patsutada 20ndates inimest õlale ja öelda:

"You have 10 extra years to start your life"?

"Sul on veel 10 lisa-aastat, et alustada oma eluga"?

Nothing happens.

Midagi ei juhtu.

You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition,

Seda tehes võtad sa inimeselt igasuguse ambitsiooni ja tungi

and absolutely nothing happens.

ning mitte midagi ei juhtu.

And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings

Ja siis iga päev, tark, huvitav keegi 20ndates

like you or like your sons and daughters

nagu sina või su pojad ja tütred,

come into my office and say things like this:

tuleb minu kabinetti ja ütleb midagi sellist nagu:

"I know my boyfriend's no good for me,

"Ma tean, et mu poiss pole mulle õige,

but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time."

aga see suhe ei tähenda midagi, ma lihtsalt löön aega surnuks".

Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started

Või nad ütlevad: "Kõik räägivad, et kui ma suudan alustada

on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine."

oma karjääriga enne, kui saan 30, on kõik korras".

But then it starts to sound like this:

Ning siis hakkab kogu lugu kõlama umbes nii:

"My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself.

"Mu 20ndad on peaaegu läbi ja ma pole enda heaks midagi teinud.

I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college."

Mul oli parem resümee päeval, kui ma lõpetasin ülikooli."

And then it starts to sound like this:

Ja edasi:

"Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.

"Kohtamine 20ndates oli nagu toolimäng.

Everybody was running around and having fun,

Kõik tormasid ringi ja lõbutsesid,

but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off

aga umbes 30selt muusika peatus

and everybody started sitting down.

ja kõik istusid maha.

I didn't want to be the only one left standing up,

Ma ei tahtnud olla ainuke, kes jäi püsti seisma,

so sometimes I think I married my husband

mistõttu tunnen, et abiellusin oma mehega,

because he was the closest chair to me at 30."

kuna ta oli ainus saadaolev istumiskoht".

Kes siin kohalolijatest on 20ndates?

Where are the twentysomethings here?

Do not do that.

Ärge nii tehke!

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake,

Okei, see kõlab küll teisiti, aga ärge valesti aru saage -

the stakes are very high.

panused on kõrged.

When a lot has been pushed to your 30s,

Kui palju on surutud 30ndatesse,

there is enormous thirtysomething pressure

tekib tohutu 30ndate aastate surve

to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up,

alustamaks karjääri, leidmaks elukoht, elukaaslane

and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.

ja saada 2 või 3 last ning seda kõike palju lühema ajaga.

Many of these things are incompatible,

Kõige selle korraga saavutamine ei ole võimalik

and as research is just starting to show,

ja nagu uuringud on hakanud näitama,

simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.

on see raskem ja põhjustab suuremat stressi, kui seda kõike teha 30ndates.

The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.

Millennialite keskeakriis ei tähenda punase sportauto ostmist.

It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.

See on aeg, kui mõistad, et on võimatu saavutada seda, mida tahad.

It's realizing you can't have that child you now want,

See on aeg kui saad aru, et enam ei saa last, keda sa nüüd tahad,

or you can't give your child a sibling.

või sul pole võimalik talle anda õde või venda.

Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings

Liiga palju inimesi 30ndates ja 40ndates

look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room,

vaatavad endale otsa või küsivad minult üle laua,

and say about their 20s,

mõeldes oma 20ndatele:

"What was I doing? What was I thinking?"

"Mida ma tegin? Mida ma mõtlesin?".

I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.

Ma tahan muuta seda, mida 20ndates tehakse ja mõeldakse.

Here's a story about how that can go.

Siin on üks näide, kuidas see olla võiks.

It's a story about a woman named Emma.

See on jutt naisest nimega Emma.

At 25, Emma came to my office

25-aastane Emma tuli mu kabineti,

because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis.

sest, nagu ta ise ütles, oli tal identiteedikriis.

She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment,

Ta rääkis, et ta arvab, et võiks töötada kunsti- või meelelahutusvallas,

but she hadn't decided yet,

aga ta ei olnud veel otsustanud.

so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.

Seega ta oli viimased aastad hoopis töötanud ettekandjana.

Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend

Sest elu oli odavam, ta elas oma poiss-sõbraga,

who displayed his temper more than his ambition.

kes näitas välja oma iseloomu rohkem kui oma ambitsioone.

And as hard as her 20s were,

Nii rasked kui ta 20ndad ka ei olnud

her early life had been even harder.

ta elu enne seda oli olnud veel hullem.

She often cried in our sessions,

Sessioonide käigus ta nuttis tihti,

but then would collect herself by saying,

aga lõpuks ta võttis end kokku ja ütles:

"You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."

"Sa ei saa endale valida perekonda, küll aga sõpru".

Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap,

Igatahes, üks päev Emma sisenes ja nõjatas oma pea sülle

and she sobbed for most of the hour.

ja nuttis valjult enamus tunni.

She'd just bought a new address book,

Ta oli just ostnud kontaktiraamatu

and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts,

ja oli hommik otsa kirja pannud oma sõpru ja tuttavaid,

but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank

aga siis, peale rida raamatus -

that comes after the words

"Hädaolukorra puhul, palun helistage..." -

"In case of emergency, please call ..."

oli tühi leht.

She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said,

Ta oli peaaegu hüsteerias, kui ta vaatas mulle otsa ja ütles:

"Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck?

"Kes on minuga, kui ma satun õnnetusse?

Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?"

Kes hoolitseb mu eest, kui mul diagnoositakse vähk?"

Now in that moment, it took everything I had

Sel hetkel võtsin ma endast kõik,

not to say, "I will."

et mitte öelda: "Mina hoolitsen".

But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared.

Aga see mida Emma vajas, polnud terapeut, kes tõesti väga hooliks.

Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance.

Emmal oli vaja paremat elu ja ma teadsin, et see on tema võimalus.

I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex

Alexiga töötades olin ma korduvalt õppinud

to just sit there while Emma's defining decade

lihtsalt istuma ja kuulama, samal ajal kui Emma kõige

went parading by.

tähtsam kümnend mööda marssis.

So over the next weeks and months,

Järgmiste kuude ja nädalate

I told Emma three things

jooksul ütlesin ma Emmale kolm põhiasja,

that every twentysomething, male or female,

mida iga temevanuses mees või naine

deserves to hear.

kuulma peaks.

First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis

Esiteks, ma ütlesin Emmale, et ta unustaks identiteedikriisi

and get some identity capital.

ja looks endale identiteedi pagasi.

By "get identity capital,"

Selle all pean ma silmas,

I mean do something that adds value to who you are.

et teha midagi sellist, mis lisaks väärtust sinu isiksusele.

Do something that's an investment

Teha midagi, mis on investeering

in who you might want to be next.

sellesse, kelleks sa tahad saada.

I didn't know the future of Emma's career,

Ma ei teadnud sel hetkel Emma karjääri tulevikku,

and no one knows the future of work,

üleüldse, keegi ei tea oma tulevikku,

but I do know this:

aga ma tean, et

Identity capital begets identity capital.

identiteedi pagas on seemneks sinu olemusele.

So now is the time for that cross-country job,

Seega praegu on aeg just selleks tööks -

that internship, that startup you want to try.

praktika, idufirma, mida iganes sa tahad teha.

I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here,

Ma ei välista siinkohal 20ndate eneseavastust,

but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count,

aga mis selles kontekstis ei lähe arvesse,

which, by the way, is not exploration.

sest muuseas, see pole avastamine ja areng.

That's procrastination.

See on homse peale lükkamine.

I told Emma to explore work and make it count.

Ma ütlesin Emmale, et ta avastaks end läbi töö ja looks iseendale kasu.

Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated.

Teiseks, ma ütlesin Emmale, et sõpruskond ei asenda pere.

Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport,

Parimad sõbrad sobivad hästi sind lennujaama viima,

but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers

aga 20-aastased, kes on peadpidi teiste samasugustega koos,

limit who they know,

piiravad enda tutvusringkonda,

what they know, how they think,

teadmisi, kujutlusvõimet,

how they speak, and where they work.

väljendusoskust ja tööväljavaateid.

That new piece of capital, that new person to date

Uued tuuled ja enesearendus, nagu uus kaaslane,

almost always comes from outside the inner circle.

leitakse peaaegu alati väljaspool sõprusringkonda.

New things come from what are called our weak ties,

Uued tuuled puhuvad võõraste juurest -

our friends of friends of friends.

meie sõprade sõprade sõprade poolt.

So yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed.

Nii et tõesti, pooled 20ndates on täielikult või osaliselt töötud.

But half aren't,

Aga pooled neist pole.

and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.

Ning tutvuste-tutvused on tee, mille kaudu saad sina ka sinna gruppi.

Half of new jobs are never posted,

Pooli töökuulutustest ei tehta kunagi avalikuks.

so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that unposted job.

Seega, võttes ühendust oma naabri ülemusega, saad selle mitteavaliku töö.

It's not cheating. It's the science of how information spreads.

See ei ole pettus, see on viis, kuidas informatsioon levib.

Last but not least, Emma believed

Lõpuks, Emma uskus,

that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.

et sa ei saa valida omale pere, küll aga sõpru.

Now this was true for her growing up,

See oli ka tõsi ajal, mil ta üles kasvas,

but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family

aga 20ndates hakkab Emma ise endale pere looma,

when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.

kui ta leiab endale partneri ja temaga lapsed saab.

I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now.

Ma ütlesin Emmale, et aeg, mil omale pere valida, on käes.

Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down

Nüüd võite te mõelda, et 30 on parem aeg paigale jääda

than 20, or even 25,

kui 20 või isegi 25.

and I agree with you.

Ma nõustun teiega.

But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with

Aga kinni haarata keegi, kellega sa koos elad või magad,

when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle

samal ajal kui kõik Facebookis oma abielu staatusi uuendavad,

is not progress.

ei ole edasiminek.

The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one,

Parim aeg oma abielu kallal tööd teha on enne, kui sa oled abielus.

and that means being as intentional with love

See tähendab, et oleksid oma suhtes samamoodi eesmärgile pühendunud

as you are with work.

nagu sa oled oma töös.

Picking your family is about consciously choosing

Oma perekonna loomine tähendab teadlikke valikuid

who and what you want

selle nimel, keda sa tahad ja mida sa tahad.

rather than just making it work or killing time

Mitte aga üritada lihtsalt suvaliselt asju korda ajada või aega surnuks lüüa,

with whoever happens to be choosing you.

kellega iganes sa kokku satud.

So what happened to Emma?

Nii et, mis juhtus Emmaga?

Well, we went through that address book,

Me käisime koos läbi ta kontaktiraamatu

and she found an old roommate's cousin

ja ta leidis sealt oma vana toakaaslase nõbu,

who worked at an art museum in another state.

kes töötas kunstimuuseumis, teises osariigis.

That weak tie helped her get a job there.

See kauge tutvus aitas tal saada seal töö.

That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.

See tööpakkumine võimaldas tal maha jätta oma elukaaslase.

Now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums.

Nüüd, 5 aastat hiljem, on ta tähtsündmuste planeerija muuseumitele.

She's married to a man she mindfully chose.

Ta on abielus mehega, kelle ta ise teadlikult valis.

She loves her new career, she loves her new family,

Ta armastab oma uut karjääri, ta armastab oma uut perekonda.

and she sent me a card that said,

Ning ta saatis mulle kaardi, millel oli kirjas:

"Now the emergency contact blanks

"Praeguseks on mu kontaktisikute nimekiri,

don't seem big enough."

kellega hädaolukorra puhul ühendust võtta, kasvanud piisavalt suureks."

Now Emma's story made that sound easy,

Nõndaks, Emma lugu kõlas lihtsalt,

but that's what I love about working with twentysomethings.

aga see ongi, miks ma armastan töötada 20-ndates inimestega.

They are so easy to help.

Neid on kerge abistada.

Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX,

20 midagi on nagu lennukid, kes on just lennuväljalt õhku tõusmas.

bound for somewhere west.

Right after takeoff, a slight change in course

Just peale õhkutõusu võib vaid kerge kursimuutus tähendada

is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.

maandumist Alaskal või Fijil.

Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29,

Nagu ka 21selt või 25selt või isegi 29selt,

one good conversation, one good break,

üks hea vestlus, üks hea sõnavahetus,

one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect

üks hea TED kõne, suudab mõjutada tohutult

across years and even generations to come.

erinevas vanuses inimesi ja isegi järgnevaid generatsioone.

So here's an idea worth spreading

Niisiis, siin on üks idee,

to every twentysomething you know.

mida tasub edastada igale 20ndates inimesele.

It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex.

See on sama lihtne, kui see, mis ma õppisin ütlema Alexile.

It's what I now have the privilege

See sõnum on privileeg, mida ma saan

of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day:

öelda igale 20ndates inimesele, nagu Emmalegi:

Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood,

30 ei ole uus 20, seega võta härjal sarvist,

get some identity capital, use your weak ties,

loo endale pagas identiteediks, kasuta oma tutvusi,

pick your family.

loo endale perekond.

Don't be defined by what you didn't know

Ära lase end mõjutada sellest, mida sa ei teadnud

or didn't do.

või mida sa ei teinud.

You're deciding your life right now.

Sina otsustad oma elu üle nüüd.

Thank you.

Aitäh!

(Applause)

(Aplaus)