If I controlled the Internet | Rives

381,889 views ・ 2006-12-25

TED


Za predvajanje videoposnetka dvakrat kliknite na spodnje angleške podnapise.

Translator: Gregor Vidmar Reviewer: Matej Golob
00:26
I wrote this poem after hearing a pretty well known actress
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To pesem sem napisal potem, ko sem slišal precej znano igralko
00:30
tell a very well known interviewer on television,
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povedati zelo znanemu televizijskemu voditelju:
00:33
"I'm really getting into the Internet lately.
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"V zadnjem času sem se resnično začela navduševati nad internetom.
00:35
I just wish it were more organized."
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Želim si samo, da bi bil bolj organiziran."
00:37
So ...
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Torej ...
00:38
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
00:42
If I controlled the Internet,
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Če bi jaz nadziral internet,
00:45
you could auction your broken heart on eBay.
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bi lahko na eBay-u prodal svoje strto srce,
00:49
Take the money; go to Amazon;
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vzel denar, šel na Amazon in
00:51
buy a phonebook for a country you've never been to -- call folks at random
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kupil telefonski imenik države, kjer še nisi bil, naključno klical ljudi,
00:55
until you find someone who flirts really well in a foreign language.
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dokler ne bi našel nekoga, ki odlično flirta v tujem jeziku.
00:58
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
00:59
If I were in charge of the Internet,
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Če bi bil jaz zadolžen za internet,
01:01
you could Mapquest your lover's mood swings.
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bi lahko Mapquest-al razpoloženjska nihanja svojih ljubimcev.
01:04
Hang left at cranky, right at preoccupied,
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Ob razdražljivosti se drži leve, desne ob prezaposlenosti,
01:08
U-turn on silent treatment,
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ostro zavij ob tihih dnevih,
01:10
all the way back to tongue kissing and good lovin'.
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nazaj do strastnih poljubov in vročega ljubljenja.
01:13
You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection.
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Lahko bi navigirali in razumeli vsako čustveno križišče.
01:16
Some days, I'm as shallow as a baking pan,
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Kakšen dan sem plitev kot ponev,
01:19
but I still stretch miles in all directions.
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a se vseeno raztezam kilometre v vse smeri.
01:21
If I owned the Internet, Napster, Monster and Friendster.com
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Če bi bil lastnik interneta, bi bili Napster, Monster in Friendster.com
01:27
would be one big website.
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ena sama velika spletna stran.
01:29
That way you could listen to cool music
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Tako bi lahko poslušali super glasbo
01:31
while you pretend to look for a job
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medtem, ko bi se pretvarjali, da iščete službo,
01:33
and you're really just chattin' with your pals.
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v resnici pa bi samo klepetali s prijatelji.
01:35
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:36
Heck, if I ran the Web, you could email dead people.
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Hudiča, če bi jaz upravljal internet, bi lahko poslali email mrtvim.
01:40
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:42
They would not email you back
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Ne bi vam odgovorili ...
01:44
(Laughter) --
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(smeh)
01:45
but you'd get an automated reply.
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... a dobili bi samodejni odgovor.
01:47
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:49
Their name in your inbox
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Njihova imena med vašo prejeto pošto ...
01:51
(Laughter) --
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(smeh)
01:52
it's all you wanted anyway.
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... saj to je itak vse, kar ste si želeli.
01:54
And a message saying, "Hey, it's me. I miss you.
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In sporočilo: "Hej, jaz sem. Pogrešam te.
01:57
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:58
Listen, you'll see being dead is dandy.
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Boš videl, biti mrtev je super.
02:01
Now you go back to raising kids and waging peace and craving candy."
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Zdaj pa se vrni k vzgoji otrok, mirovnim prizadevanjem in hrepenenju po sladkarijah.
02:05
If I designed the Internet, childhood.com would be a loop
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Če bi jaz oblikoval internet, bi bilo otroštvo.com zanka
02:10
of a boy in an orchard, with a ski pole for a sword,
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dečka v sadovnjaku, s smučarsko palico namesto meča,
02:15
trashcan lid for a shield, shouting, "I am the emperor of oranges.
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pokrovom smetnjaka namesto ščita, vpijočega: "Jaz sem vladar pomaranč!
02:18
I am the emperor of oranges. I am the emperor of oranges."
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Jaz sem vladar pomaranč! Jaz sem vladar pomaranč!"
02:21
Now follow me, OK?
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Sledite mi, OK?
02:22
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
02:23
Grandma.com would be a recipe for biscuits and spit-bath instructions.
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Babica.com bi bil recept za piškote in inštrukcije friziranja s slino.
02:26
One, two, three.
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Ena, dva, tri.
02:28
That links with hotdiggitydog.com.
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Ta stran bi bila povezana na krščen-matiček.com.
02:30
That is my grandfather.
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To je moj dedek.
02:32
They take you to gruff-ex-cop-on-his-fourth-marriage.dad.
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S povezavo na četrtič-poročen-zadirčen-bivši-kifeljc.oče,
02:34
He forms an attachment to
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ki se navezuje na
02:35
kind-of-ditzy-but-still-sends-ginger-snaps-for-Christmas.mom,
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malce-prismojena-a-za-Božič-še-vedno-pošilja-ingverjeve-piškote.mami,
02:37
who downloads the boy in the orchard, the emperor of oranges,
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ki presnemava dečka v sadovnjaku, vladarja pomaranč,
02:41
who grows up to be me --
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ki zraste in postane jaz,
02:44
the guy who usually goes too far.
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tip, ki gre običajno predaleč.
02:46
So if I were emperor of the Internet,
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Torej, če bi bil bil vladar interneta,
02:49
I guess I'd still be mortal, huh?
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bi bil verjetno vseeno umrljiv, ne?
02:52
But at that point, I would probably
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A takrat bi verjetno že imel
02:54
already have the lowest possible mortgage
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najnižjo možno hipoteko
02:58
and the most enlarged possible penis
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in najbolj povečan penis, kar je možno ...
03:00
(Laughter) --
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(smeh)
03:01
so I would outlaw spam on my first day in office.
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zato bi že prvi dan v pisarni prepovedal spam.
03:03
I wouldn't need it.
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Ne bi ga potreboval.
03:05
I'd be like some kind of Internet genius, and me,
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Bil bi nekakšen internetni genij, in jaz ...
03:07
I'd like to upgrade to deity and maybe just like that --
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... rad bi se nadgradil v božanstvo in mogoče bi - takole
03:11
pop! -- I'd go wireless.
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pop - postal brezžičen.
03:14
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
03:15
Huh? Maybe Google would hire this.
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Mogoče bi me najel Google.
03:17
I could zip through your servers and firewalls like a virus
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Kot virus bi lahko švigal skozi vaše strežnike in požarne zide,
03:19
until the World Wide Web is as wise, as wild and as organized
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dokler WWW ne bi bil tako pameten, tako divji in tako organiziran
03:23
as I think a modern-day miracle/oracle can get, but, ooh-eee,
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kot je po moje lahko sodoben čudež/prerok, ampak, ooooooo,
03:28
you want to bet just how whack and un-PC
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bi radi stavili, kako zdelan in ne-PC
03:32
your Mac or PC is going to be when I'm rocking
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bo vaš Mac ali PC, ko bom glavni
03:34
hot-shit-hot-shot-god.net?
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blazno-blazen-pomembnež-bog.net?
03:36
I guess it's just like life.
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Po moje je tako, kot v življenju.
03:38
It is not a question of if you can --
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Ni vprašanje ali zmoreš,
03:40
it's: do ya?
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pač pa: Ali že?
03:42
We can interfere with the interface.
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Posegamo lahko v uporabniški vmesnik.
03:44
We can make "You've got Hallelujah" the national anthem of cyberspace
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"You've got Hallelujah" lahko proglasimo za državno himno kiberprostora
03:47
every lucky time we log on.
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vsakič, ko se srečno prijavimo.
03:49
You don't say a prayer.
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Ne moliš.
03:51
You don't write a psalm.
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Ne napišeš psalma.
03:53
You don't chant an "om."
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Ne mrmraš oooommmmm.
03:55
You send one blessed email to whomever you're thinking of
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Pač pa pošlješ blagodejen email komurkoli o katerem razmišljaš
03:59
at dah-da-la-dat-da-dah-da-la-dat.com.
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@ da da la dat da da da la dat.com.
04:05
Thank you, TED.
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Hvala, TED.
04:06
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
O tej spletni strani

Na tem mestu boste našli videoposnetke na YouTubu, ki so uporabni za učenje angleščine. Ogledali si boste lekcije angleščine, ki jih poučujejo vrhunski učitelji z vsega sveta. Z dvoklikom na angleške podnapise, ki so prikazani na vsaki strani z videoposnetki, lahko predvajate videoposnetek od tam. Podnapisi se pomikajo sinhronizirano s predvajanjem videoposnetka. Če imate kakršne koli pripombe ali zahteve, nam pišite prek tega obrazca za stike.

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