Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison | TED

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Translator: Nika Ambrožič Reviewer: Sara Tanjga

I was sitting with my girls,

Sedela sem s svojimi dekleti

and Joy said,

in Joy je rekla:

"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.

"Pišuka, želim si, da bi mi nehal težiti.

My daddy, he calls me all the time."

Moj oči, neprestano me kliče."

"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.

"Bodi srečna, da te sploh kliče," je rekla Jasmine.

"I haven't heard from my dad in years."

"Jaz se s svojim nisem pogovarjala že leta."

At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way

V tem trenutku sem vedela, da morajo dekleta najti način,

to connect with their fathers.

da bi se povezale s svojimi očeti.

At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,

V Kampu diva, moji neprofitni organizaciji,

we have these types of conversations all the time

imamo take pogovore kar naprej,

as a way to help girls of African descent

da bi lahko pomagali dekletom afriškega porekla

prepare for their passage into womanhood.

in jih pripravili na prehod v ženskost.

These girls just needed

Ta dekleta so samo potrebovala

a way to invite their fathers into their lives

način, da bi svoje očete povabile v svoje življenje

on their own terms.

pod svojimi pogoji.

So I asked the girls,

Dekleta sem zato vprašala:

"How can we help other girls

"Kako lahko pomagamo drugim dekletom,

develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"

da bi s svojimi očeti razvile zdrav odnos?"

"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,

"Imejmo ples", je zaklicala ena izmed deklet

and all the girls quickly backed her up.

in vse ostale so jo takoj podprle.

They started dreaming about the decorations,

Začele so sanjati o okraskih,

invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,

vabilih, oblekah, ki jih bi oblekle,

and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)

in o tem, kaj bi lahko in česa ne bi smeli obleči njihovi očetje. (smeh)

It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,

Odvijati se je začelo, preden sem sploh lahko pomižiknila,

but even if I could have slowed down those girls,

a tudi, če bi lahko upočasnila ta dekleta,

I wouldn't have,

jih ne bi,

because one thing that I have learned

ker sem se v desetletju

from over a decade of working with girls

dela z dekleti naučila,

is that they already know what they need.

da one že vedo kaj potrebujejo.

The wisdom lives inside of them.

Modrost leži v njih.

As long as they have infrastructure,

Dokler imajo strukturo,

mentorship and resources,

mentorstvo in sredstva,

they can build what they need,

lahko zgradijo to, kar potrebujejo,

not only to survive, but to thrive.

ne le da bi preživele, ampak da bi uspevale.

So we had a dance,

Tako smo imeli ples

and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.

in dekleta in njihovi očetje so prišli v množicah.

They were dressed to the nines.

Bili so pražnje oblečeni.

They acted sweet.

Lepo so se obnašali.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

They acted silly.

Zabavali so se.

They really enjoyed each other's company.

Res so uživali v družbi drug drugega.

It was a huge success.

Velik uspeh je bil.

And the girls decided to make it an annual event.

In dekleta so se odločila, da bo to postala letna zadeva.

So as the seasons changed,

Ko se je leto zavrtelo

and it was time to plan the dance again,

in je bil čas za ponovno načrtovanje plesa,

one girl named Brianna spoke up,

je ena izmed deklet, Brianna, spregovorila

and she said,

in rekla:

"My dad can't come to the dance,

"Moj oči ne more na ples

and this whole thing is making me sad."

in vse skupaj me žalosti."

"Why not?" the girls asked.

"Zakaj pa ne?" so vprašala dekleta.

"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.

Pogumno je priznala: "Ker je v zaporu."

"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)

Ena izmed deklet je vprašala: "Ali ne more ven samo za en dan?" (smeh)

"And come in shackles?

"In da pride v lisicah?"

That's worse than not having him here at all."

"To bi bilo huje, kot to da ga sploh ne bo."

At this moment, I saw an opportunity

V tem trenutku sem videla priložnost,

for the girls to rise to the occasion

da bi dekleta vzele stvari v svoje roke

and to become their own heroes.

in postale svoje junakinje.

So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?

Vprašala sem: "Kaj mislite, da naj storimo glede tega?

We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"

Želimo si, da bi vsa dekleta šla na ples, kajne?"

So the girls thought for a moment,

Dekleta so za trenutek pomislile

and one girl suggested,

in eno dekle je predlagalo:

"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"

"Zakaj pa nimamo plesa kar v zaporu?"

Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,

Večina deklet je dvomila v to možnost

and said, "Are you crazy?

in rekle so: "A si zmešana?

Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,

Kdo bo pustil tropu mladih deklet,

dressed up — " (Laughter)

ki so lepo napravljene (smeh)

" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"

da pridejo v zapor in imajo ples z očeti, ki so v kombinezonih?"

Because that's what they called them.

Tako temu pravijo.

I said, "Girls, well, well,

Rekla sem: "Dekleta, no no,

you never know unless you ask."

nikoli ne boste vedele, če ne vprašate."

So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,

Mestnemu šerifu Richmonda je bilo poslano pismo,

signed collectively by each girl,

ki so ga podpisala vsa dekleta,

and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.

in povedati moram, da je zelo poseben šerif.

He contacted me immediately and said,

Takoj me je kontaktiral in rekel,

whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,

če obstaja možnost, da bi pripeljali družine,

his doors are always open.

so njegova vrata vedno odprta.

Because one thing he did know,

Zavedal se je,

that when fathers are connected to their children,

da, če so očetje povezani s svojimi otroci,

it is less likely that they will return.

je možnost, da se bodo vrnili, manjša.

So,

Torej.

16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.

Povabili smo 16 zapornikov in 18 deklet.

The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,

Dekleta so bila pražnje oblečena

and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits

in očetje so svoje rumeno-modre kombinezone

for shirts and ties.

zamenjali za srajce in kravate.

They hugged.

Objemali so se.

They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.

Skupaj so jedli postreženo ribo in piščanca.

They laughed together.

Smejali so se skupaj.

It was beautiful.

Prelepo je bilo.

The fathers and daughters even experienced

Očetje in hčere so celo izkusili,

an opportunity to have a physical connection,

kako je imeti fizičen stik,

something that a lot of them didn't even have

kar veliko izmed njih ni imelo

for a while.

dolgo časa.

Fathers were in a space where they were able to

Očetje so bili v prostoru, v katerem so se lahko

make their daughter's plate,

s hčerami igrali,

and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.

jim pristavili stol in jim dali roko za ples.

Even the guards cried.

Celo pazniki so jokali.

But after the dance,

A po plesu

we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.

smo se vsi zavedli, da bo oči še vedno v ječi.

So we needed to create something

Morali smo ustvariti nekaj,

that they could take with them.

kar bi lahko vzeli s seboj.

So we brought in Flip cams,

Prinesli smo kamere

and we had them look at the Flip cams

in smo jim rekli, da naj gledajo vanje

and just interview each other --

ter se samo pogovarjajo

their messages, their thoughts.

o sporočilih, o mislih.

This was going to be used as a touchstone

To naj bi predstavljalo stik,

so when they started to miss each other

da se bodo, kadar bodo začeli pogrešati drug drugega

and feel disconnected,

in se bodo počutili odrezane,

they could reconnect through this image.

lahko s to podobo ponovno povezali.

I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes

Nikoli ne bom pozabila dekleta, ki se je zazrla v očetove oči

with that camera and said,

skozi kamero in rekla:

"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"

"Oči, ko me pogledaš, kaj vidiš?"

Because our daddies are our mirrors

Naši očetje so naša ogledala,

that we reflect back on

o katerih razmišljamo,

when we decide about what type of man we deserve,

ko se odločamo o tem, kakšnega moškega si zaslužimo,

and how they see us for the rest of our lives.

in kako nas vidijo celo življenje.

I know that very well,

Tega se dobro zavedam,

because I was one of the lucky girls.

ker sem imela sama srečo.

I have had

Očeta

my father in my life always.

sem vedno imela v življenju.

He's even here today.

Tudi danes je tukaj.

(Applause)

(aplavz)

And that is why it is extremely special

In zato je zame izjemno pomembno,

for me to make sure that these girls

da poskrbim, da so ta dekleta

are connected to their fathers,

povezana s svojimi očeti,

especially those who are separated

še posebej tista, ki so od njih ločena

because of barbed wires and metal doors.

zaradi bodeče žice in kovinskih vrat.

We have just created a form

Ustvarili smo nekaj

for girls who have heavy questions on their heart

za dekleta, ki jim na srcu ležijo težka vprašanja,

to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions

da lahko ta postavijo svojim očetom

and given the fathers the freedom to answer.

in dajo svojim očetom svobodo, da lahko odgovorijo.

Because we know that the fathers

Ker se zavedamo, da tudi očetje

are even leaving with this one thought:

odhajajo z eno samo mislijo:

What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?

"Kakšno žensko pripravljam, ki bo šla v svet?"

Because a father is locked in

Samo zato ker je oče zaprt,

does not mean he should be locked out

ne pomeni, da bi moral biti izključen

of his daughter's life.

iz hčerinega življenja.

(Applause)

(aplavz)