Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison | TED

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

翻译人员: JIN Huiying 校对人员: Wei Wu

I was sitting with my girls,

我和女孩儿们坐在一起

and Joy said,

Joy说，

"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.

“该死！我真希望我爸爸别再唠叨我了。

My daddy, he calls me all the time."

他老是对我讲个不停。”

"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.

Jasmine说：“能有他的唠叨是你的幸运，

"I haven't heard from my dad in years."

我已经好多年没有我爸爸的消息了。”

At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way

这让我明白女孩儿们需要一种方法

to connect with their fathers.

来跟自己的父亲建立沟通。

At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,

在我的非营利组织（non-profit organization ）Camp Diva里，

we have these types of conversations all the time

这样的对话每天都在发生。

as a way to help girls of African descent

我们通过这种方式帮助非洲血统的女孩儿们

prepare for their passage into womanhood.

为成为一名真正的女性做好准备。

These girls just needed

她们需要的只是

a way to invite their fathers into their lives

一种以她们的意愿

on their own terms.

来让父亲进入自己生活的方式。

So I asked the girls,

因此我问她们，

"How can we help other girls

“我们怎样才能其他人

develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"

与父亲建立起健康的关系？”

"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,

一个女孩儿喊出：“我们可以跳舞！”

and all the girls quickly backed her up.

其他女孩儿很快表示支持。

They started dreaming about the decorations,

她们开始想像装饰品是什么样的，

invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,

用什么样的邀请卡，她们要穿的衣服，

and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)

以及父亲们会穿什么，不会穿什么。（笑声）

It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,

整件事儿发生得太快了，我甚至没来得及眨眼。

but even if I could have slowed down those girls,

但尽管我本可以告诉女孩儿们慢慢来，

I wouldn't have,

我却没有。

because one thing that I have learned

因为我从十多年与女孩儿们

from over a decade of working with girls

共处的时光里学到的一件事就是

is that they already know what they need.

她们早就知道她们需要什么了。

The wisdom lives inside of them.

她们的聪慧与生俱来，

As long as they have infrastructure,

只要有最基本的东西，

mentorship and resources,

合理的指导和资源，

they can build what they need,

她们就能获得需要的一切，

not only to survive, but to thrive.

而这绝不仅仅只为了生存，更为了好好地生活。

So we had a dance,

所以我们办了个舞会，

and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.

女孩儿和父亲们挤满了舞厅，

They were dressed to the nines.

他们盛装打扮，

They acted sweet.

举止优雅。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

They acted silly.

尽管看上去笨笨的，

They really enjoyed each other's company.

他们真的很享受彼此的陪伴。

It was a huge success.

舞会获得了巨大的成功。

And the girls decided to make it an annual event.

女孩儿们决定每年都举办一次。

So as the seasons changed,

随着时间的推移，

and it was time to plan the dance again,

又到了举行舞会的时间，

one girl named Brianna spoke up,

一个叫Brianna的女孩儿

and she said,

她说，

"My dad can't come to the dance,

“我爸爸不能来跳舞了，

and this whole thing is making me sad."

我好难过。”

"Why not?" the girls asked.

别的女孩问：“为什么？”

"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.

“他坐牢了。”她勇敢地承认。

"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)

“他就出来一天不行吗？”一个女孩儿问。（笑声）

"And come in shackles?

“戴着脚镣？”

That's worse than not having him here at all."

“那还不如不让他出现在这儿。”

At this moment, I saw an opportunity

这时，我感觉到了一个机会，

for the girls to rise to the occasion

让女孩儿们抓住时机，

and to become their own heroes.

成为自己的英雄。

So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?

所以我问：“你们觉得我们该怎么办？

We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"

我们想让每个女孩儿都参加舞会，对不对？“

So the girls thought for a moment,

女孩儿们思索了一会儿，

and one girl suggested,

一个女孩提了个建议，

"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"

”为什么不把舞会设在监狱里？“

Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,

大多数女孩儿表示怀疑，

and said, "Are you crazy?

说：”你疯了？

Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,

谁会允许一群小姑娘

dressed up — " (Laughter)

穿着漂亮的衣服——（笑声）

" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"

——在监狱里跟穿着海绵宝宝衣服的父亲跳舞？“

Because that's what they called them.

女孩儿们是这样形容自己的父亲的。

I said, "Girls, well, well,

我说：”好啦好啦，姑娘们，

you never know unless you ask."

如果不问，你永远都不知道行不行。“

So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,

所以我们给Richmond市治安官写了封信，

signed collectively by each girl,

每个人都签了名。

and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.

我必须要说，他是个特别的治安官。

He contacted me immediately and said,

他立刻联系了我，说，

whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,

无论何时有让家庭在监狱里团聚的机会，

his doors are always open.

他都愿意促成，他的大门都会打开。

Because one thing he did know,

因为他知道，

that when fathers are connected to their children,

当父亲和孩子感情相通，

it is less likely that they will return.

他们就减少了重返犯罪的可能。

So,

所以，

16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.

16名罪犯和18个女孩儿受到了邀请。

The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,

女孩儿们穿上最漂亮的衣服，

and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits

父亲们脱下黄色和蓝色的连身衣，

for shirts and ties.

换上西装，扎起了领带。

They hugged.

他们拥抱。

They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.

他们享受了一顿带鸡肉和鱼肉的美味大餐。

They laughed together.

他们开怀大笑。

It was beautiful.

那场景太美了。

The fathers and daughters even experienced

父亲和女儿们甚至拥有了

an opportunity to have a physical connection,

好多人以前片刻都没有体验过的

something that a lot of them didn't even have

身体上的

for a while.

一种联系。

Fathers were in a space where they were able to

父亲们终于能够扮演一个

make their daughter's plate,

能让自己的女儿展示自己的能力，

and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.

为她们拉开椅子，伸出手，邀请她们跳舞的角色。

Even the guards cried.

连警卫都感动落泪。

But after the dance,

但舞会结束后，

we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.

我们意识到父亲还要继续在监狱里生活，

So we needed to create something

所以我们得做出一些

that they could take with them.

他们可以随身携带的东西。

So we brought in Flip cams,

所以我们用带来的便携摄像机，

and we had them look at the Flip cams

用镜头纪录下他们的

and just interview each other --

互相采访——

their messages, their thoughts.

讲讲自己的消息和想法。

This was going to be used as a touchstone

这将成为维持感情的纽带，

so when they started to miss each other

一旦他们想念彼此，

and feel disconnected,

感到孤独，

they could reconnect through this image.

就可以通过影像重新得到心灵上的相通。

I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes

我永远都不会忘记，一个女孩儿拿着摄像机，

with that camera and said,

直视父亲的眼睛，问：

"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"

”“爸爸，当你看我的时候，你看到了什么？“

Because our daddies are our mirrors

因为父亲就是一面镜子。

that we reflect back on

当我们回顾自我，

when we decide about what type of man we deserve,

思索我们该与什么样的男性共度余生，

and how they see us for the rest of our lives.

他们又如何看待我们时。我们看到的是父亲折射出的影子。

I know that very well,

对此我再清楚不过，

because I was one of the lucky girls.

因为我个是幸运的女孩儿，

I have had

我的父亲

my father in my life always.

一直在我的生命中不曾离开。

He's even here today.

今天他甚至来到了现场。

(Applause)

（掌声）

And that is why it is extremely special

这也是为什么

for me to make sure that these girls

确保这些女孩儿和父亲间建立起精神纽带

are connected to their fathers,

对我来说如此重要，

especially those who are separated

特别是那些

because of barbed wires and metal doors.

被带着倒钩的铁网和铁门隔开的父女。

We have just created a form

我们已经建立起一种

for girls who have heavy questions on their heart

让有着沉重问题的女孩儿们

to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions

向自己的父亲问出问题，

and given the fathers the freedom to answer.

并留给父亲回答的自由的方式。

Because we know that the fathers

因为我们知道这些父亲

are even leaving with this one thought:

心中也有一个问题，

What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?

”我要把一个什么样的女性留在这个世界上？“

Because a father is locked in

因为一位被锁在牢房里的父亲

does not mean he should be locked out

不应该

of his daughter's life.

也被禁锢在女儿的生活之外。

(Applause)

（掌声）