Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison | TED

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

譯者: Bert Chen 審譯者: Jui-Hsin Chen

I was sitting with my girls,

當時我跟組織裡的小女孩們坐在一起

and Joy said,

喬伊說

"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.

「我希望他不要再打來煩我」

My daddy, he calls me all the time."

「我爸爸每次都會打給我」

"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.

潔絲米說「你還算幸運，他都會打給你」

"I haven't heard from my dad in years."

「我好久沒聽到我爸爸的聲音了」

At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way

此刻，我知道這些女孩需要有一個管道

to connect with their fathers.

聯絡她們的父親

At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,

在Camp Diva，我們的非營利組織

we have these types of conversations all the time

我們有持續在做各式對談

as a way to help girls of African descent

當作是一種方法，幫助非裔美國女孩

prepare for their passage into womanhood.

為她們即將邁向成年做準備

These girls just needed

這些女孩只是需要

a way to invite their fathers into their lives

邀請她們的父親進入她們的生活

on their own terms.

用她們自己的方式

So I asked the girls,

所以我問這些女孩

"How can we help other girls

「我們能如何幫助其他女孩

develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"

跟她們的父親發展出健全的關係？」

"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,

一位女孩大聲喊說「大家一起來跳舞」

and all the girls quickly backed her up.

所有女孩都支持她的想法

They started dreaming about the decorations,

她們開始幻想要如何佈置場地

invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,

邀請事宜，要穿什麼衣服

and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)

還有她們的父親可能或可能不會穿的（笑聲）

It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,

彈指之間，她們就開始討論了

but even if I could have slowed down those girls,

即使我能夠讓那些女孩冷靜下來

I wouldn't have,

我也不會這麼做

because one thing that I have learned

因為我學到一件事

from over a decade of working with girls

我跟這群女孩在一起，已經超過十年

is that they already know what they need.

她們都已經知道自己需要什麼

The wisdom lives inside of them.

她們本身就擁有這種智慧

As long as they have infrastructure,

只要她們有基本概念

mentorship and resources,

有人引導，有資源

they can build what they need,

就能構築出她們需要的東西

not only to survive, but to thrive.

不僅能獨立自主，也能更成功

So we had a dance,

所以我們辦了一場舞會

and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.

很多對父女一起來參加活動

They were dressed to the nines.

他們都穿著正式服裝

They acted sweet.

她們的姿勢很可愛

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

They acted silly.

他們的動作很笨拙

They really enjoyed each other's company.

他們非常享受彼此的陪伴

It was a huge success.

活動非常成功

And the girls decided to make it an annual event.

這些女孩決定每年都要舉辦這種活動

So as the seasons changed,

隨著時間流逝

and it was time to plan the dance again,

又到該再次籌備舞會的時候了

one girl named Brianna spoke up,

有一名叫布莉安娜的女孩

and she said,

她說

"My dad can't come to the dance,

「我爸爸不能來參加舞會」

and this whole thing is making me sad."

「這件事讓我很難過」

"Why not?" the girls asked.

「為什麼？」女孩們問

"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.

「因為他在監獄服刑」，她勇敢承認

"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)

「那他能夠出來一天嗎?」 其中一位女孩問道(笑聲)

"And come in shackles?

「戴著腳鐐來？」

That's worse than not having him here at all."

「他乾脆不要參加好了」

At this moment, I saw an opportunity

此刻，我看到一個機會

for the girls to rise to the occasion

能讓女孩們舉辦這場舞會

and to become their own heroes.

讓她們為自己作主

So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?

所以我問說「你們認為我們應該要怎麼做才好？」

We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"

「我們想讓每個女孩都能參加舞會，對嗎？」

So the girls thought for a moment,

所以這群女孩又想了一下

and one girl suggested,

然後有一位女孩建議

"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"

「為什麼我們不在監獄裡辦舞會呢？」

Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,

大多數女孩都質疑這種方法的可行性

and said, "Are you crazy?

說「你瘋了嗎？」

Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,

「誰會讓一群小女孩

dressed up — " (Laughter)

盛裝打扮

" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"

進監獄和父親跳舞，父親還穿得像海綿寶寶」

Because that's what they called them.

因為她們就是這樣說的

I said, "Girls, well, well,

我說，「大家冷靜一下」

you never know unless you ask."

「除非你們去問，否則永遠也不會知道答案」

So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,

所以大家寫一封信，寄給里奇蒙市的警長

signed collectively by each girl,

每位女孩都在上面簽名連署

and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.

我必須說，他是一位很特別的警長

He contacted me immediately and said,

他馬上就與我連繫，表示

whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,

若有機會帶小朋友們進去探視

his doors are always open.

他的大門隨時都會為我們敞開

Because one thing he did know,

因為他確信一件事

that when fathers are connected to their children,

父親能與自己小孩建立關係時

it is less likely that they will return.

就表示他們不太可能再走回頭路

So,

所以

16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.

16名受刑人與18名女孩受到邀請

The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,

女孩們穿著正式服裝

and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits

父親們將黃藍相間的工作服

for shirts and ties.

換成襯衫和領帶

They hugged.

他們相互擁抱

They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.

他們一起享用有雞有魚的大餐

They laughed together.

他們一起歡笑

It was beautiful.

景象非常溫馨

The fathers and daughters even experienced

父親們和女兒們甚至能

an opportunity to have a physical connection,

有肢體接觸的機會

something that a lot of them didn't even have

他們多數人已經沒有過這種互動

for a while.

有一段時間了

Fathers were in a space where they were able to

父親們會到一個活動空間

make their daughter's plate,

他們能與女兒互動

and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.

拉出她的椅子，伸出手邀請女兒跳舞

Even the guards cried.

甚至連守衛都哭了

But after the dance,

但是舞會結束之後

we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.

我們都意識到爸爸還在服刑

So we needed to create something

所以我們需要做些東西

that they could take with them.

讓他們能夠帶在身邊

So we brought in Flip cams,

所以我們將攝影機帶來

and we had them look at the Flip cams

讓女孩能拍攝父親

and just interview each other --

互相訪問

their messages, their thoughts.

錄下彼此想傳達的訊息、想法

This was going to be used as a touchstone

這能夠當作是一種新的嘗試

so when they started to miss each other

在他們開始思念彼此的時候

and feel disconnected,

心情落寞的時候

they could reconnect through this image.

他們就能藉由影像想起當時情景

I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes

我絕不會忘記，一名女孩看著她父親的眼睛

with that camera and said,

對著錄影機說

"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"

「爸爸，你看著我眼睛時，你看到什麼?」

Because our daddies are our mirrors

因為我們的父親就是我們的榜樣

that we reflect back on

我們會受到他們影響

when we decide about what type of man we deserve,

我們在選自己未來另一半的時候

and how they see us for the rest of our lives.

還有他們會如何看待我們接下來的人生

I know that very well,

我非常清楚

because I was one of the lucky girls.

因為我就是其中一位幸運的女孩

I have had

在我的一生中

my father in my life always.

我的父親一直都陪伴著我

He's even here today.

甚至今天他也來到現場

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And that is why it is extremely special

這就是為什麼這件事對我來說會如此特別

for me to make sure that these girls

確保這些女孩

are connected to their fathers,

能夠連繫他們的父親

especially those who are separated

特別是那些父親遭到隔離的女孩

because of barbed wires and metal doors.

因為隔著一道刺鐵絲網和金屬門

We have just created a form

我們只是創造一種方法給女孩

for girls who have heavy questions on their heart

她們都有潛藏許久的問題

to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions

給她們機會問她們父親那些問題

and given the fathers the freedom to answer.

同時能讓父親們有自由空間能回答

Because we know that the fathers

因為我們都知道這些父親

are even leaving with this one thought:

甚至都只剩一個想法

What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?

我的女兒長大會是什麼樣子？

Because a father is locked in

就因為一位父親在監獄服刑

does not mean he should be locked out

不表示他應該被排除

of his daughter's life.

在他的女兒生活之外

(Applause)

（掌聲）